Thursday, January 01, 2009

2008 is So Over, It Needs a New Word For "Over." Also, It Needs a "2008 Recap" Blog Post by Tinkerbell.

Hello Autowinners. This is Tinkerbell. It's been a very long year, whew! 365 days I hear. Perhaps in 2008 you also had many experiences, felt many feelings, and drank many vodka tonics. However, unless your name is Uh Huh Her or Br'ach Obama, your 2008 has not been as important as Tinkerbell's 2008. Why is that do you ask. I will tell you why. Because 2008 was the first year of my life. I was adopted in Key Bisquane, Florida, by Cait, who intended to hand me over to Riese. Unfortunately Riese & Haviland, upon receiving me, told Cait to return me to the gift shop right away because I was "too expensive." Cait did not. There is no price tag on love, life or freedom (which I happen to love. Freedom). Soon Riese came to love me regardless because I am so lovely and also I am a purse. Riese took off my strap though.

Because Riese already had feelings about 2008 I have taken the responsibility of telling you what actually happened in 2008 on this blog. Why? Because that's what everyone else is doing I think.

Tinkerbell is born in Key Bisquane
Best of January (Hello this is Tinkerbell. It's hard to find "best of" January. I feel that because of her newfound love for me & The L Word recaps, Riese didn't write many good posts in January. She was "phoning it in" if you will.): Carousel of Progress: Promise I'll Be Perfect From Now On [1.4], Tuesday Top 8: A Little Bit of All The Suggested Topics [1.15].

Also as documented in My Number one Feeling is Miami [1.30], this is the month that I Tinkerbell was born into the world.

IMPORTANT. Hav & Riese Vlog #17: Miami.

Tinkerbell is Big Pimpin' to see Haviland in California

Best of February: Auto-win Endorses Barack Obama [2.4] , It's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (Autowin visits the Carousel of Progress for real!) [2.20].

IMPORTANT: First Stuff I've Been Reading, Second Miami Vlog.

Tinkerbell loves Uh Huh Her and knows Alice is not real

Best of March : A Blog About Nothing Which I Will Never Proofread ("tonight in harlem we were on the roof and we heard a car crash ...") [3.5], Sunday Top 10: Where I've Lived [3.30].

IMPORTANT: Crystal from Australia visits, Lozo Guest-Vlogs, Semicolon Guest Vlogs, Stuff I've Been Reading #2 (the one that talks about Sam Anderson!), Big Bad Reader Survey.

ALSO: Autowin Gets 2nd Place in the "Best Lesbian Blog" Contest.

Tinkerbell goes to Hollywood! Visiting Malibu Barbie obvs.
Best of April: Sunday Top Tens I Thought About Writing in Honor of My Two Year Bloggiversary, but didn't [4.9], This Girl Called, Interrupted [4.21].

IMPORTANT: What I Learned from the Teevee: Family Film Edition, Semicolon Guest-Vlogs #2, Riese begins to lose her mind, Stuff I've Been Reading #3, Haviland & Riese Vlog #23: Wild Wild West.

ALSO: April 17th - Riese's "In the Flesh" Reading, we WIN the Uh Huh Her @ SXSW contest.

Tinkerbell is about to get kissed by Michelle Paradise

Best of MAY (Hi this is Tinkerbell. In May, Leisha & Cam told me they loved me. So did many other famous people see above): The Night Starts Here [5.06], Sunday Top Ten: Things I Haven't Done in a While, But Just Did [5.27], Sunday Top Ten: Young Adult Lit from my childhood [5.11].

ALSO: Riese & A;ex do the NewNowNext Awards for The L Word Online and a lot of Uh Huh Her? happens, Haviland & Riese Vlog #24: House of Wax.

Carly is opening Tinkerbell's pouch

Best of June: Your Girl is Lovely, Hubble -- SATC the movie [6.2], Open Letter to the Assholes of the Webbernets inspired by Emily Gould et al. [6.22].

IMPORTANT: Carly guest-vlogs,, H&R Advice Column #1, H&R Advice Column #2, Lewis's Birthday, Stuff I've Been Reading #4.


Tinkerbell meets the wax figure of wax figure inventor Madame Tussaud

Best of July: I Feel Like I Wouldn't Like Me if I Met Me [7.22] ... (but there's just so much important stuff that I cannot go on with the best of let's get right to the important stuff. Also I had many photos with famous people in wax it was hard to choose just one. Also the cruise).

IMPORTANT! Rosie Cruise! Part One and Two, First Insomnia Poem, Autowin Book Club #1 - Brief & Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao [7.3], Book Club Part #2 [7.25], H&R Advice Column #3/VLOG #27 [7.7].

Tinkerbell learns to read the auto-zine

Best of August: I Think I Saw Your Airplane in the Sky Tonight (Dear Planet Harlem) [8.2], Sunday Top Ten: We Didn't Do It [8.17].

IMPORTANT: Launched a 'zine! and it looks so good!, Hav & Riese Vlog #29 - MORE ADVICE!, Stuff I've Been Reading #5.

Tinkerbell hangs out in Long Island with Littlefoot and Crystal the Koala

Best of September: If I Gave You My Number (the homeless/speeding/crashing/losing/wanting myself back blog) [9.1], Back in the 90's [9.4 -part one 8.24 ], Sacred & On Fire with the Same Force that Made the Stars (MULTI-MEDIA! Video & Words) [9.20].

IMPORTANT: H&R Advice Column #5, Autowin Book Club #2 - Lying by Lauren Slater, Winning the Hot Blogger Calendar Contest, Riese Turns 27!


Tinkerbell Votes No on 8

Best of October: The Biggest Bestest OMG'est Election Post of All Time [10.14], 8 Against 8: You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one [10.27].

IMPORTANT: 8 Against 8 Contest, Hav & Riese's No on 8 PSA, Natalie & Riese & Alex & Haviland ADD Vlog #30, Haviland as Sarah Palin Vlogs Part One and Two.


Tinkerbell is in fashion in Alexi's Closet

Best of November: It's Just a Couch. This isn't Life. It's Just Stuff (11.3), Open Letter to the Future (11.25)

IMPORTANT: Election Day Live-Blog: Either the Best or the Worst Night Ever! (UPDATE: The Best!!!), Hav & Riese Vlog #31- with Advice! , Planet Harlem Obama Party - YES WE CAN, with Video.

ALSO.: Hav & Riese & Tinkerbell on Alexi's Closet on AfterEllen.

Tinkerbell goes to Ohio with her friend My Little Pony from Lewis's Happy Meal

Best of December: Top Ten Weirdos of 2008 -- Part One, Part Two, My Moms' Chanukkistis Wish Lists [12.18] Year in Review 08 All I Know is That I Should (Dear Dad) [12.26]

IMPORTANT: We've got BUTTONS BABY! in the Auto-Store and Hav & Riese Vlog #32 w/Alexi's Closet Outtakes.

Hello everyone this is Tinkerbell. My paws are tired so I'm going to take a nap now. Happy New Year! Don't mess up this year like you did last year. I mean really now.


LittleTink said...


MoonKiller said...

Wasn't 2008 a leap year? So 366 days. Or am I being stupid?

Reading through this I kept saying to myself 'oh yeah i remember that one' about the best ofs etc.

Also wordverif: imimone = I'm I'm one. Tinkerbell is in my laptop!

riese said...

Little Tink: I don't know who you are but I feel like you are very special and amazing.

Moonkiller: Yeah I don't know, re 365 or 366, Tinkerbell is pretty wild and will make shit up. She probs is actually in your laptop I think.

Anonymous said...

Man, think about how much more loved Tink is with you, instead of some bratty kid. Sometimes I forget she's a purse, but it sure was fun when she was full of Reeses. I liked Tink's year in review, it was good to get her view on the year that was 2008. I'd love to know where her strap is, I think I actually have her collar. Happy news years.

LittleTink said...

zomg hi riese!! or jesus or moses or whomevs you really are!! i remembs what you said about 'i feel like' statements, but for memememe, that means the world.

love and vodka tonics all around,

autumn m said...

a) i want to tell you about my awesome new years. some friends and i went to this club. it was alot of fun. the first drink i ordered? a vodka tonic. i really don't like them. but then i had like 6 more, and they started tasting better and better. and every time i got a new one, i would be all "this is for you tink!!" all my friends would just look at me and stare. i would be all, "im drunk, its ok." so after having alot more to drink, i was feeling pretty good. so we finally left and went to eat. not a good idea to take me out in public when that drunk, because i just want to be friendly!! so we sit down and im there for like 5 minutes and get up and walk to a table and sit down with these people i dont know. everything after that is hazy, but i remember some chicks asking if i was single and telling me about some party on the 17th. this is when i realized they were a bunch of lesbians. so i dont really know what they are talking about, and i just got up and walked away. so later i get home and go to sleep. today i wake up and im checking my pockets from last night and i find this napkin with party information on it. i dont remember when this happened, but it was from those people. they must have really wanted me to go to the party, that just so happens to be at some gay bar. what can i say, the gays love drunk autumn!!! so later today im driving somewhere and i notice my arm hair looks funny. apparently i got close to a fire, cause my arm hair was singed off. i dont even remember a fire!!! im just lucky im blonde so you cant really notice. and apparently i kept saying Happy Jesus Year to everyone. WTF is that? it was a wicked fun time.

b) my new years resolution was to be more active in things i believe in, such as equal rights. so on my facebook status' Ive been putting stuff that pertains to it. well apparently, no one i know likes it at all. like its really pissing them off.

c) i love tink's December photo.

Crystal said...

That's an impressive review, you guys did and wrote a lot of awesome things in 2008. You know what else was awesome? March. Happy New Year.

Haviland Stillwell said...

riese, this is we did a lot of vlogs, considering we're 3,000 miles apart. it's like that madonna song, maybe? whatevs, i miss you.

wish you were in joshua tree climbing the rocks with me.

autumn, i'm so impressed with you, for reals. you're a shining star.

happy 2009, fresh start, etc. my word verif is "found." loves it.

riese said...

anonymous: I sometimes forget she was a purse too, I think it made her feel exploited, although to our credit we could've used her as a drug mule and never did. I think maybe her strap was thrown away but luckily she is too ana to go out.

Little Tink: You remain very special and amazing. You are probs for real tink, I mean you're good with the lingo.

autumn m: The best part of this comment is "I don't really like vodka tonics, but then i had like 6 more, and they started tasting better and better." I hope you are going to go to that party, that's the night before the l word premiere so you will probs be invited to another party on the 18th after the party on the 17th if you go, and then you can give us good recaps of that and maybe burn off more arm hair, which is also funny. I've never had that happen to me before.

It's also super sad that no one you know likes equal rights!

crystal: March was awesome, because that's the month that you got to see most of the l word season one which I feel probs changed your life forever.

Haviland Stillwell: we DID do a lot of vlogs considering we live 3,000 miles apart. look i hope everyone appreciates us for trying so hard. trying is hard, flying is hard! zomg, i miss you.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

One helluva year, eh? I appreciated your VLOG-getry, and should reveal in light of Autumn's comment that I once singed off all my hand hair by soaking it in rubbing alcohol and lighting it. Jew camp was a crazy place.

.elida. said...

i would just like to point out the fact that one of my ex girlfriends said that to me once, "we're so over, we need a new word for over." and my knee jerk response was a giggle, cause i was like, "um hello... we both know you're quoting sex & the city." she was a very dramatic girl. well, i mean she still is im sure.

anyway, my point is, 2008 sucked hard. so, i too am looking forward to 2009. and i went through my posts from last year and i only liked one of them and it was about the fire. sidenote: my birthday this year will be 09.09.09. holler! vodka tonics for everyone!!

LittleTink said...

Yay! I'm actually Tink's daughter, but you were close. Mom hasn't told you about me because.. well.. she doesn't remember me. She has early onset Alzheims, you see. She probs woulda told you about that too, but her mem is srsly hittin rockbottom. I'm surprised beyond belief that she remembered anything from '08.. actually I think this is a sham. You totally wrote this, didn't you!!!! Furthermore, I have ADD bye!!

riese said...

the brooklyn boy: Man you Jews and you drinkers! with the fire and the alcohol! It is so good for me to be sober and never burn anything, or drop a flaming candle onto my expensive macbook pro or whatevs.

.elida: I think I would totally giggle, and be like "hay! you just quoted SATC!" and then try to turn the whole thing into a joke, as I so often do. But that's one of my favorite teevee lines ever. Who knows, maybe 2009 will be full of lovely surprises, such as your fatefully fantastic bday.

LittleTink:, You're right about her mem, I think that's 'cause of the not eating thing. Once we get her to build a bear she will be okay, and you can come over for muffins.