Thursday, August 09, 2007

We Don't Want to Sleep Tonight, Still Young Like That I Count the Lines

This blog was titled 'When There's Nothing Left to Burn You Have to Set Yourself on Fire.' Then I saw Moonkiller's blog; she'd just used the same title, totes WOC. [WOC=Maviland, means "weird/of course"] Beautiful/AWESOME: the way we're all over the goddamn planet, having the same thoughts, listening to the same songs (which we recommend to each other, obvs), talking about the same things? It's like magic. It's like actually killing the moon, setting the world on fire when there's nothing left to burn. Who's got stuff left to burn? I don't.

This can be a void, this can be a portal, this can be everything ... OMG, it's like OurChart. JK. It's absolutely nothing like OurChart. If it was, I'd have 100 million readers and webisodes starring Rose Rollins and cute professional lesbians in hoodies. JK, they don't have 100 million readers. Also, I'm a professional lesbian in a hoodie.

Also, there was a time when I only wrote about funny things on here, when I was illusive to the point of almost complete disassociation. I just made jokes! Wanna know what happened? [Also: There are still mostly jokes, obvs, even in this post, if you look closely!]

OK, I'll tell you: I surrendered to my computer. There was a fight. My computer just sat there, like a sleeping bunny in the shape of a machine, and so I didn't want to fight it anymore, it was so kind and white and fluffy. I was tired.

Here's what else happened: I had this rule when I started Auto-Win never to say who I was dating, and I figured, always, you can read between the lines, it's clear, usually, if you care enough to pay attention -- not that anyone should. But if you want to. There are photographs, and comments, and allusions, whatever.

And then that rule done brizoke. And then it just kept gathering speed and things played out and fell apart ... and in between meeting and finally leaving is falling in love and then also all this other stuff; I had So Many Secrets, I was a professional tongue-holder, there were so many things I wasn't allowed [permitted] to talk about and that I still have not talked about. So I had to say something real, some kind of half-truth, to someone otherwise I would've died. But still, I think I mostly still stick to jokes. Here I go: ME MEMEMEME. ME.

[I feel like I'm repeating myself all the time now!! Am I?! I have so many conversations in different formats these days I cannot keep track!]

On Monday night, I stayed up all night talking to someone I'd never spoken to before, a commenter who's always been superior at reading between the lines. Extraordinary, really, this girl, compelling: building new geometry. I was bad at geometry. If I knew how to prove things in numbered lists, I'd probably be more successful in general than I am.

We talked about this; this whole blog-i-verse. How the real becomes so much chaos and feels nothing like the reality you were informed of when you first got yourself born and were told life was a certain thing; it involved eating and sleeping, giving love and getting it back, having dreams and then realizing them, etc., etc.

Then Dana died.

JK. Then you woke up. Then you sank into a little hole and then you realised that hole had a keyboard.

Who are you, all of you who read every post but never say anything? You don't have to say anything, of course. It's fine. I am totes contentified by the ones that do. But still, I'm intrigued just the same. Are you hot? Do you work for HBO? Are you gay? Are you fun? Are you a boy? Are you a weirdo? Have we slept together?

So this is what I'm doing right now for the first time since like, '06. I am just going to write some stuff and then post it. No editing, no second-guessing, no thematic whatever. Just: here. Ramble ramble. Remarkable that the other shit I post is actually edited, yeah? Because it still goes ramble ramble ramble.

i. "I'll sleep when I'm dead." (Warren Zevon)

Dear New York City: They call you "the city that never sleeps." I think that might be why you are so bat-shit crazy. Some call you "The Big Apple," which doesn't make sense. There is nothing about you that reminds me of apples.

ii. "We're alright, we're up all night to see the sun come up again."

Monday night, I didn't sleep. I did it. All night long and into the next day. I gave sleep a really honest shot between six and seven a.m., but then I gave up and thought I'd just power through. I think they use that term in sports, or something else involving power and perseverance. Right now it's 11:30 P.M., and I'm thinking to myself I can probably stay up 'til three, then I'll sleep 'til eight. Then I will wake up and change the world, one molecule at a time, clearly. By next Monday, I'll have carpal-tunnel syndrome and there will be no more world hunger or bad lesbian television.

I don't stay up all night, that's not my thing. I don't sleep very often either, but I like at least 4-5 hours a night.

Question for All Readers, Please Answer in Comments: How many hours a night do you sleep, usually? Do you ever go without? How's that working out for ya, being clever? (JK, that's a movie reference, who knows it?)

Other people pull all-nighters all the time, because other people are cooler than me. It's a contest: whomever sleeps the least wins. The less you sleep, the more important you are. Haven't you seen "The West Wing"? No one sleeps on that show and they run the country. Does that scare you? That everyone in charge of this country hasn't slept?

Have you seen "Hey Paula"?

iii. "Neighbourhoods will try to dream while you and me we hold and lean." (Stars)

Isn't it romantic? Not sleeping? Isn't it terrific? We are all so tired! We are all so spent! What if there was time. The thing is; I don't think life is made for humans anymore. I don't think we were meant to live like this.

We are always asking each other "Shouldn't you be asleep?" "Have you slept?" We chug Red Bull and coffee and popping pills and doing whatever it takes to stay awake, to do everything we can before the roof caves in or it floods. We stand before our beds and wonder why there is so much stuff on them and not our bodies.

iv. "No one sleeps in this room without the dream of a common language."

I have moved my office from the living room to the roof. [And took these photos there, obvs] I should have a party up here. This is the best part of the city; roofs. Like in the movies. I haven't been up here in so long because the last time I was here, I was given a pretty stern lecture about my position in the Kingdom of Heaven and my apparent denial of Eternal Life. Really? Eternal life? You mean we can do this FOREVER? 'Cause it's really fun right now, let's please keep going. Push me. No wait. Don't. I'm jumping. Wait. I can't. This is the opposite of jumping, whatever this is. Hold me.

I am right now reclaiming the roof, just like I had to reclaim my life and Depeche Mode. And my lines.

2007 has been the Year That Never Sleeps, I've seen the sun rise too many times as it's been nothing if not unstable:
-Monday mornings when I'd still be pounding out an "L Word" recap in my imaginary race with scribegrrl.
-Team Rebound, up all night on iChat: "can't sleep, should sleep, wired," the early insomniac days, wanting a cure but also I think just wanting light. Waiting for it but not knowing or remembering that it always comes at the same time, like clockwork. Obvs.
-Writing that goddamn article for [redacted] magazine.
-[her] love, love, love, mania, love, mania, mania, love, love, love, mania, mania, love, mania, love, love, love, love, maninamanaiamania
-Maggie would be in the kitchen too by the coffee-maker, fucking Folgers. I hate the smell of coffee in an NYC apartment. It turns something awful.

So Monday night, I was on the phone for six hours and afterwards all I could do was lie in bed and think over the conversation. Then I had to get up and actually Go Places, Be Places, and kept waiting for the moment when I'd start to hallucinate or become some kind of manic genius. That never happened. Sometimes I felt like my throat was going to swallow my face. That didn't actually happen either. Actually I still feel like that.

[Sometimes I think sometimes this blog is an exercise in passive aggressiveness, 'cause in real life, I'm pretty passive-passive or aggressive-aggressive. Unless I'm in some kind of special situation that somehow prevents my freedom of speech. So maybe I'm being passive aggressive. OMG someone should start a blog and call it "passive aggressive blog."]]

I am Riese and this is my heart.

It reminded me of the old days when I couldn't sleep and I'd stay up all night watching Undressed marathons on MTV and writing letters. I could sleep in then, though, because I was 15 and lived at home with my Mom and worked at Dana's Deli at 3pm for $4.75/hour. I wish that show was still on.


carlytron said...

Fight Club. I win.

I used to pull all nighters in high school on occasion but mostly in college. All ended with me reaching levels of near-mania. I don't do it anymore, and I can usually run on about 4-5 hours a night, though I prefer 6-8.

passive-aggressive notes blog

Please reclaim Depeche Mode, the world is a worse place without it.

DH said...

This's a great post. Rambling is such an important part of life. As is being pass-agress. Or at least that's what I want to believe.

I sleep very few hours, maybe 4. It's not because I'm some kind of hardcore party-animal, but moreso because I always seems to be at work.

To be completely selfish, I kind of like that you go to bed late, the timing is perfect for delegation and rambling.

Anonymous said...

You're a talented writer. It's what affords you what I am sure is a nice sized readership. But to me, an anonymous, non-commenting reader, I enjoy most--and come back for--those stretches where you seem to forget about being a talented writer, forget about being cute and being clever, and instead simply become a cable between readers and the outlets of giant (too giant to behold all at once) truths.

It's about YOU, to be sure, as you consistently remind everyone, but doesn't every writer want to connect through what is identifiable? Locate those centers that make us all us, different but not really different? You scratch at those centers, and you do it pretty well. I'm not a lesbian, a girl, a new yorker, a writer who has readers--but in your grasps at getting a hold of what carries us, at times I'm reminded that we're all basically the same, and in no way is that easy to remind people of.

Anonymous said...

I Love it when you write like this, love it.
Lately I sleep a lot because in bed, wrapped up in her, I feel safe and strong.

Nicoel said...

I stopped posting comments due to laziness, you know how it is, blah, blah, blah.

On aerage I sleep like 4-5 hours a night on a good night but I'm a workaholic/still party every night so totes my fault.

How's it working out for me? Um, I drink like 1 litre of espresso every morning and I still feel dead tired hours later.

The quote is from Fight Club and I actually say it all the time, in real-, not blog-, life...

kate said...

i totally appreciate the tenuous links joining all your paragraphs. because that's just the way my mind works. perfect!

i generally sleep about five hours. no good reason - just because that's the way it's always been. it seems like half my life is spent listening to people tell me to go back to sleep.

also, that passive agrssive notes blog carly linked to is hilarious...

stef said...

i sleep four hours a night tops, not because i'm important but because my job keeps me out late, i'm an insomniac, i have an anxiety problem and i'm afraid of sleeping in so i set my alarm for 7 am and then don't actually get out of bed until closer to 10 and am usually late for work.

i feel like nobody is up when i'm up. i do what crystal does on a smaller scale; i befriend people in california and bug them at 4 am. HEY GUYS HEY GUYS HEY GUYS TALK TO ME.

nyc roofs (rooves?! shouldn't it be rooves?!? christ how tired am I?) are awesome. mine is great. i also have had to reclaim mine. it was a difficult process but so worth it. i grew up with this certain view of manhattan's skyline from my parents' place in jersey and now it's in reverse cos i'm on the other side. it's rad.

GAH carlytron beat me to passive aggressive notes. i almost sent my awesome note to my roommate to those guys.

Anonymous said...

My coworker and I were once discussing how this business partner guy we know never sleeps. He wakes up at 4 in the morning, exercises, solves all known internet coding problems, then goes in to work, has meetings with all well-known internet big wigs, goes running for lunch, hangs out with his employees, trains for a triathlon, goes home and helps his daughter with homework, probably bangs his wife and then wakes up a few hours later and does it all again.

What my coworker seemed to learn from studying this is that real genius has everything to do with how long you can stay awake.

Apparently my schedule as a child was breakfast, nap, playtime, nap, lunch, nap, etc. My mom said she always had to wake me up to do anything. If that pesky job of mine didn’t keep getting in the way, I would have stuck with that pattern.

Now I just regret all those hours I slept thinking I could have been doing something great. Like selling a successful company at the age of 24 as partner guy did. But even as I’m up late tonight because I can’t sleep, I’m still just dickin’ around on the internet reading your blog and trying to figure out if GirlTrash is really done or not.

And at the end of this, I find the only thing that plagues me is that whole GirlTrash dilemma. Cause selling companies is totally not as fun as indie filmmaking.

Which reminds me... have you ever thought of doing your pilot as a webisode?

The Spaz said...

I didn't sleep Monday night either! I've been freelancing outside of work time and really screwed around last weekend when I should have been working so I had to work the whole night through to meet my deadline. Then I took the day off of work to sleep.

I have gone to school or work not having slept the whole night but its not pretty, I'm generally a biatch but when I've not slept for a day or two I'm ten times worse. Of course normally I don't sleep because I'm an insomniac, (or out drinking,) its rare that my being up had to do with work... On that note I'm not important.

Normally I get between four and five hours' worth of sleep. Usually I'm alright with it but every now and then it hits me hard. I'll go on these long sleep binges where I'll have so much sleep that I wake up in the middle of the night anyways.

Is this comment too long? Sometimes I have a hard time stopping.

lawlaws said...

My sleeping pattern runs somewhere between, 4-9 hours.

But, I can last longer on 4 hours sleep than I can on 7, go figure!

Two years ago my girlfriend went to camp to be a camp councilor. She didn't ring me for a month. And was generally a bit of a bitch. That summer was the first time I ever got truly depressed. I got by on two hours sleep a night for a really long time.

Margeret Thatcher (previous British Prime Minister) only slept for four hours a night.

I am unable to stay up all night, I was always the one at the sleepover who 'needs' their sleep. Even if it's only half and hour.

Two songs i'm reminded of from reading this post.
Counting Crows - Up All Night (Frankie Miller goes to Hollywood) from the 'Hard Candy' album.

Barenaked Ladies - Who Needs Sleep (once used in an Episode of Dawson's Creek where they were up all night studying for a test which then got cancelled).

I wish I had a cool roof. Me going on my roof will ultimately end in sudden death. A balcony would also be cool (I don't have one of those either)

Guls said...

Riese, I totes (as you put it which actually took me a long time to understand what it means :))) ) feel you.

Insomnia has taken over our lives. I don't know if any part of my life I have been this sleepless. Talking to people online till late or early in the morning depending on how you look at it, then going to work next morning looking like hell. Employees asking Ms. Guls are you ok? Trying to find excuses every time why you look shitface. The confusion of giving it all up or digging more deep in. Then facing the reality of the internet, a person who you spent nights talking to coming out as a total weirdo...

Why I read your blog and don't comment that often. Hmmm, I guess the flow in your ideas, putting a smile on my face every time, the feeling of friendly familiarity, randomness are just a few. And then timelessness and a blank mind for not commenting. (and of course lack of ability to write).

Keep it on Riese, cause whatever the reason is we like it ;)


Guls said...

I should use editing while commenting, whatevs...

MKB said...

When I had stuff to get up for in the morning, and needed my sleep for, I used to have lots of trouble sleeping. Stay up all night, or sleep three, four hours tops.

Now I have nothing to do in the morning and I feel the need for my bed at 11 PM. If I then go on and play games until 2 AM anyway I don't wake up until noon, so I guess I sleep a lot. :D

I love rambles as well. To both read and write. It's a way to see into someone and it's a great outlet.

Oh and hi, I've been reading for a while, I don't work at HBO, I am a lesbian and I stalk people online. Kisses. :)

MoonKiller said...

Sorry for stealing your title. You can have it if you wish because when I started writing that post it actually had something to do with setting myself on fire but them I completely re-wrote it and it completely irrelivant.

I watched Fight Club last nite.

I can never sleep when schools out. I need something to get up for and when I don't I just stay awake until the early hours listening to music, watching movies, writing, thinking, reading, doing anything I can to get a bit of kip. But I end up resorting to drowsy cough syrup. Works a fucking treat!

riese said...

I'd written responses to the first seven comments and posted them, except that actually I guess I didn't because they are not posted! Silly me! OK, here is 1-7:

written at 3 A.M.:



You win! You are the Ruler of Universe Supreme, fo'sure. Or something.

I feel like all-nighters in high school are seriously hard core. Were you making a project? I did that once for a Spanish project. I remember there was a lot of multimedia. All my all-nighters were related to multi-media. Then I became addicted to Vivran.



I think believing what we want to believe might be the secret to everything.

I should've mentioned in this post that being on Australia time probs doesn't help my sleep situation.

Isn't it kinda funny though, how you get to see us americans (clearly talking about Stef and I mostly) all drunk and sleepyheaded, and we only see you when you're at that work place again?



I love you, can I just cut and paste what you wrote and send it to someone to give me a job? Or cut and paste it back, and add, aw/totes! to the end of it?



I used to feel like that. In my bed. wrapped up in her, safe and strong.




I use that all the time in real life too!

I think 4-5 hours a night seems to be consensus.



Five hours is the perfect amount of time, i think . Geroge W. thinks so too but I don't compare myself to him because we have very different jobs and responsibilities.



I love how we're all up late here together, its like we are making my point simply by being awake. and in communication.

unfortuntately i have chosen to deal with my insomnia by taking an ambien. Sometimes I do strange things on ambien, like send emails in gibberish and update my facebook profile to say I like "breakfst as tftksssys" and "tiny tony guns/"

I don't know if it should be roof or rooves either! Sometimes i fel t like rooves were for like, lumberyards, where they sell them on stacks.

sidenote i'm in ambien.


(In the cool clean light of day, I should fix that sentence, but I'll just leave it.)

Anonymous said...

hello.. i am a constant reader/ never commenter, but i figured since everyone else was sharing i should too.. my ex-gf found your blog from lwordonline and now she's gone and i'm hooked, both good things. i love all of your posts and get super excited when my google reader says this girl called auto..(1) i live in hoboken, grew up in jersey and love the way you write about the city/life/l word/ everything

i totally agree with the less sleep you get, the cooler you are, which makes me sad to admit that i usually get between 7-8 hours, but i am kind of fine with that, i love sleep and my bed, so it's all good

anyways, keep on doing what you're doing, seems to be working out alright

riese said...

OK starting with Kristin:

(for those of you who don't normally comment, I'm in a phase where I give everyone nicknames, because I'm a weirdo)

Kristy's Big Idea

I am almost completely certain that 85% of Girltrash's viewers are either at jobs that bore them, supposed to do homework that they don't want to do, or are suffering from insomnia. Not that it's not good, because it is good. I just think that's who's watching. But I could be wrong, and I'm using a sample size of Carly, because she's the only person I know who keeps up on it, though I'm aware that like, everyone does. Yay OurChart!

Your coworker is exactly what I'm talking about!

Re: making our pilot as websiodes ... not exactly ... but stay tuned! The webisode concept is one we will totes be employing ...


Such a Spaz!

Spaz! You're back! Hi!

4-5, again, seems to be the consensus. We're all killing ourselves.

Having a hard time stopping is never a bad thing.

Comments are never too long! Ever! Ever!



I think I remember that episode of Dawson's Creek.

I think that heads of state are in general the most tired of all, right? G.W brags a lot about how little he sleeps, I think it's defensive because he does such a bad job, he's like "It's not like I'm sleeping!"

OMG I know what you mean, that girl who would fall asleep at 11 or something while everyone else was still gossiping. But yeah, I agree, I need that hour. People always tell me it's better just to stay up all night, but I feel better just knowing I rested a little bit.



Hey, you! Yay!

I know, you're totally right! It's like "Uh..." (hides head) "I was up all night on the internettttt..." It's even worse if you were up drinking AND on the internet. (Other people sometimes do that too, right?)

Comment editing is lame, I like it raw.



The Loo:

I am so jealous! But sometimes on the weekends I will sleep in til embarassing hours. If I'm with someone (not like I have randomised one night stands or anything, but if I have a girlfriend, or like, a special friend, which also, again, does not happen often), they sort of give me permission to sleep in by also being asleep.

You don't stalk people online! Trust me I KNOW FROM STALKING ONLINE. Wheee!




Dude, you get to keep the title OBVS! I thought it was awesome that you used it, it makes me feel like the world is all connected like in "wish upon a star" when that stuff happens.

Of course you did, re: Fight Club. See? Coincidences abound.

I'm glad you didn't set yourself on fire.

I used to always drink that bubble gum cough syrup. Then I'd go try to have a convo with my Mom. Then I got up to like, a bottle a night, and I knew it was bad news bears.



Yay for you and your ex-girlfriend! You live in hoboken? That's so close! I went there once, it was super cute.

Auto-straddle starts tonight ... and by tonight I mean Saturday? Or Sunday? Or Monday? Because of "South of Nowhere"!

And I think it's cooler when people get 7-8 hours. It means they are better at time management than I am, probs, and will still be alive in many years when I will be wrinkled and old. Maybe?


MoonKiller said...

I watch Fight Club most nights. Maybe even twice a night depending on my mood. And I also say 'All singing, all dancing' speech most days.

I haven't set myself on fire in a while because I refuse to be left in charge of a lighter because I'm scared I'll die. I did however burn myself on the iron the other day.

I got addicted to Benylin I couldn't hear or see properly for a week. It was a scary yet interesting experience.

MoonKiller said...

Also I'm wearing a Michigan hoodie right now. Thought it was relevant. Safe. Peace out. A-town down.

Adam Tiller said...

At the risk of veering tragically off-topic:

The passive-aggressive notes blog is perhaps the reason for the internet. Carly may be my new hero for introducing me to it.

Reminds me of my freshman year in college when someone from RL had the brilliant idea to mix upperclassmen with those of us just learning to care for ourselves as some sort of sadistic social experiment. I actually still have a photograph of a note that concluded with the bullet point "3rd world countries are cleaner than this place most of the time!!! Thanks." Then again, that was also the year when I penned a note including the phrase "go to hell, and take your alarm clock with you" for a neighbor who went out of town for a frat hazing one weekend and left his alarm set for six in the morning. This wasn't the sort of alarm that stops ringing on its own, and we eventually had to find someone with a master key to go in and turn the damned thing off. I took the note down before his return (the quoted line was likely the most polite bit of it), but a conscientious neighbor took it out of the trash and put it under his door on the reasoning that "that's like writing an A paper and not turning it in."

But right...the post...I'm another one of those non-commenting readers you mentioned. I'm definitely a boy, I'm pretty sure I'm a weirdo, the rest are open questions (except us sleeping together...I'm quite certain I'd remember that if it'd happened).

The sleep thing varies pretty wildly. Some nights 4-5 hours does me great, others it leaves me groggy for a day and a half. I think I'm getting old, because I'm physically incapable of those marathon 12+ hour sleeps that accompanied college and/or depression.

A question for the people who do comment regularly:

Do you ever purposely fail wordver to get a new one? Because 'ypvqtvr' is lame.

Bren said...

Since you asked…
I used to watch HBO, before I moved out of the apartment that provided it for free. Your girlfriend thinks I’m hot, which is why she slept with me. So, yeah, in a way we have slept together, which makes me gay. I’ve never even been mistaken for a boy. In case you hadn’t guessed, I am a weirdo, but in a fun way.

carlytron said...

the passive-aggressive notes blog is amazing, and I know from passive-aggressive. trust me.

most of my all-nighters had to do with school assignments. i had some near all-nighters that had to do with more fun things, but the actual ones where I would start pushing 30-35 hours awake had to do with school.

Also: I am actually several weeks behind on girltrash! and if they don't come and give me something to edit right now I'm going to start catching up.

Anonymous said...

what is this "fight club" about which you speak?

riese, why haven't we been spending time on your roof, in the sun?

Stephanie said...

OK. I'll come out of the woodwork and answer your questions.

Are you hot? Totally. Especially since it's 100 degrees. Could I be anything but? I am also physically attractive. Is that what you meant?

Do you work for HBO? No. But that might be fun.

Are you gay? No. But I did convince most of the city I live in that I was for 2 years. If you hang out with lesbians, people just sort of assume you are one, even when you're dancing on the bar and kissing boys.

Are you fun? The most.

Are you a boy? No. I don't think.

Are you a weirdo? Aren't we all?

Have we slept together? Not YET.

How many hours a night do you sleep, usually? Apparently somewhere between 23 and 24 I got old and can no longer play with the kids anymore. I have to work at 7 am everyday so I'm forever asleep. 7 hours on average.

Do you ever go without? On a few miserable occasions.

How's that working out for ya, being clever? Pretty well, I'd like to think.

Have you seen "Hey Paula"? Only every episode. And I love it. is there a more entertaining trainwreck out there? I think not.

also, hi.

Rebecca Foster said...

I go through phases where I get all freaked out by my online life and I resolve to only communicate by letters and anyone who isn't worth communicating with by post office be damned. It's tiring having instant access to so many things and people. Then I get over it.

When I was younger I had two pets goats. I had to bottle feed them and everything. And I would just sit out there with them and watch them do their goat life thing, and I was really happy. I didn't have to wonder if I was replying to e-mails too quickly, too slowly, too much, not enough. etc. IM is hell for me. I haven't seen my cell phone in days. It's probably dead. I miss my goats.

I go to bed at 9:30 PM every night but I rarely sleep through the night. I try to get up at 5 AM to run because I am training for a marathon but lots of days I talk myself out of that.

I am eccentric, not weird, charming and spontaneous and entertaining more than fun. I think fun is what you can get away with. I cheat at all games I play. Not because I want to win, I don't care about winning, I just want to know what I can get away with. Hot to someone I hope, but some days I have my doubts like everyone else. Monday I am dyeing my hair pink if my hair lady will do it for me.

Ellen said...

I am not a boy, I do not work for HBO and we have not slept together. I like to think I am fun, but I am probably not that fun.

I would love to sleep 7-8 hours a night, but usually pillow-to-alarm it's about 6. I had majormajor bouts of insomnia in high school, where I would be stressed and get hives and once the hives went away I wasn't tired. I wrote in my silly paper journal a lot back then. Still do.

Tess said...

In response to your plea for comments...

Are you hot? Sure
Do you work for HBO? No
Are you gay? Yes
Are you fun? Hell Yes
Are you a boy? No
Are you a weirdo? Sometimes
Have we slept together? Unfortunately, No

Also I rarely sleep. I’m like the coworker mentioned above, who gets up at like 4 and gets a lot of shit done, only I don't have a wife to bang. I have recently come to realize that this lack of sleep is fucking with my health. Yesterday I hit my thumb with a hammer (hard) and did not realize until it was pointed out to me that my entire thumb had turned blue/black. WTF. I figure I didn’t feel it because my lack of sleep sometimes makes me delirious. I now have a broken thumb and I’m on pain killers. I am commenting for the first time because I’m not working today and I’M ON DRUGS!

This may never happen again.

Diana said...

I'm averaging 6-8 hours a night, largely because I need that much to function at my 9-5 desk job that I loathe.

Who am I: I don't know. The simplest definition: A 24 year old straight NYer, totes a weirdo, don’t know if people consider me to be “hot,” but am definitely fun. My life these days is characterized by feeling too much and too little, simultaneously.

stef said...

i take xanax to help me sleep once in a while. it does the job too well, and then i get to work at 2 pm, sheepish and well rested. DON'T DO THAT. other than that i'm just..up. that website with all the streaming tv is not helping. i've been in jordan catalano land for days.

Anonymous said...

Hoboken is quite cute, but like most things it does get old.

I am psyched that you're recapping SoN, since your L- word caps are better than the show, also it makes me feel less lame for being excited that a show for teenagers is the reason I am staying home tonight..

As for your other questions, I am not a boy, totally weird, Hey Paula makes me itchy and I get second hand embarassment, but I can't stop watching it, I don't work for HBO, but my Dad represents them, dunno if that could help you at all..

Anonymous said...

i've been sleeping a lot the past year after i stopped having anxiety! i must say you are so good at responding to everyone's comments!! are you going to crack one day and be like omg i can't respond to all 74 of you right now!!! i have to go to the gym and rite aid and finish another book tv show and poem, get a mani, go home to my hot GF, go to haviland's play, appear on a panel, get interviewed for a radio show, do a photo shoot for a mag, sexy time, go to an LGBT event, go to rite aid again...BLOG, well i guess that's almost your life already.... r u going to be like that guy that does it all and doesn't sleep? i'm usually a non-commenter but i have to say i still love you just as much as the commenters!!!

riese said...

Rhibo is a Special Snowflake:

I burn myself all the time. Metaphorically, literally ... but it's good. I can pick up hot plates and not scream, and then people think I'm tough.

Re: Hoodie, Perfect/Obvs. It's suddenly freezing cold here. I should put mine on.


Son of Man:

There is no such thing as tragically off-topic. All things are on-topic because they are happening. Carly is my new hero for introducing it to me. She was my hero before already for the music, but whatevs.

"The next person to leave a knife with peanut butter on it in the dishwasher will find that knife in their bed" was one of my favorites in many P-A white-board centric convos I've participated in.

Yay boys! I knew Lozo wasn't my only male reader. Well, and my brother's friends. I'd say "my brother," but I'm not certain that's the case. I think I make him uncomfortable sometimes.


Bren's a Brill Name

You ARE a weirdo in a fun way. No wonder we've slept together. I've been mistaken for a boy, maybe that's how it happened? Or why you don't remember? Stop stealing my HBO.


Adam's Hero:

Ohhhhhhhh I trust you. Hypothetically.

Let me know if anything crazysexycool happens on GirlTrash. Obvs. Or anything brill. Four hours 'til SON. P.S.



I love hot readers! And the woodwork! And girls who hang out with lesbians! And girls who kiss boys! Maybe I love those girls too much! Maybe I'm one of them! (p.s.: "not YET" is the perfect answer, obvs.)

It is working out for you; being clever.




It is tiring. I am so tired! Your lifestyle is super envious. 9:30 bedtime? marathon? You're like, seriously my hero. Everything you do I want to do. Except I'm already charming, luckily. And I think you should go for it with your hair. Also I liked your goat story.



I still write in my silly paper journal all the time too. Because I've still got personal stuff goin' on in my mindspace that needs it's own wordspace.



I love everything about you. You're hot, gay, sans wife-to-bang, and on drugs. We have so much in common!

I hope it does happen again. Not the thing with banging your thumb, but the painkillers, or the commenting, or you know, whatever works. But if it doesn't, ever ever again, I care for you just the same and hope your thumb heals. Heather asked me "What happened to your elbow?" cuz there's evidence of some sort of bloody gash there. I was like "um, huh?"



Nice Breakfast Club reference! You sound like a lot of my friends ... you sound like me! Except younger, and better rested. Hm. That's two more points for you than for me.


Frozen Stefbryos:

twenty twenty twenty four hours to go i wanna be sedated
nothin' to do and no-where to go-o-oh i wanna be sedated

i can't control my fingers can't control my brain

I wanna be sedated!



Me too! It's on in four hours I just realised. CARLY it is time to quit your job. Right now. C'mon.

I'm keeping the same nickname since you used it, so that's the auto-win.

Your Dad represents them? what does that mean exactly? Does this have something to do with Lawyers? I don't know anything about anything.



Yeah, I have anti-anxiety medication but generally I like the anxiety, keeps me on my toes.

Aside from the hot girlfriend part (I mean, obvs if I DID have a girlfriend, she would be smokin' hot), your description of my life is 100% accurate, especially since those activities in general involve way more spending then earning. And I've already been to Rite Aid and the gym today, and worked on the TV show.

What I do is try to forget about everything except exactly what I'm doing at all times. This works for my advantage when it comes to things like responding to blog comments, writing emails and making out, but against me when it comes to things like writing a blog entry, waiting tables, making out, or emotional crisis.

Sometimes I wonder if I should say less, because I'm going to run out of things to say in general. Then I'll write my book and everyone'll be like, yawn. That's why I think it's probs good that there's many things I don't say. Cuz then the book will be like Behind the Music, if they did Behind the Music for people that aren't famous..

(I'm doing it RIGHT NOW!)

And thanks, I know you do, but I like to hear it sometimes ... :--)

Rebecca Foster said...

Please don't be jealous. Mostly I go to bed at 9:30 because if I stay up later than that, I cry. I am only 5 months into my "it sucks more the first year your dad dies" timetable. I am also taking the EMT course and joining the Peace Corps for these reasons. Running is a good stress reliever ++++ it's a good excuse to listen to cheesy pop music because "the tempo keeps me on track". I heart LL Cool J for life!

Rebecca Foster said...

P.S. I am so happy to see all of these comments today. Your blog is always comment worthy, I just suck a lot. I don't know what anyone else's reasons are.

Anonymous said...

Hot? yes
Gay? so they say
Weirdo? probably but who isn't?
Boy? no - I would have defo noticed
Slept together? Not that I'm aware of but to be honest ages 19 to 22 are pretty much a drunken blur.
Work at HBO? no but I promise if I did I'd defo steal you some company pens to make notes on your sit-com scripts with (I imagine I'd be making coffee [and witty remarks!] and have zero power if I did work there)

I am the complete opposite of you. I just can't get enough sleep. I have 7-8 hours during the week and then I need a good 11-12 hours on the weekend. I genuinly believe sleep is SO SO good for you. Especially stress-wise because sometimes your head needs a break from itself and dreams let you do that although nightmares are just fucking wrong!

And yeah, I'm one of those people who read everything you post (all the archive and the L word recaps and links to essays/articles) but never comment. Why do I never comment? I don't have that talent of being able to express my thoughts in a clear manner. And that's probably why I read your stuff - It's funny and it's refreshing to read something written so honestly.

Anyway I only posted tonight because there was audience participation (who doesn't love that?) and because I'm slightly drunk.

But keep up the good work

riese said...

Rebecksa: Ahhh ... duly noted. I will redact my jealousy. My Dad actually used to wake up at 5am to train for a marathon every day too before work.

As per my last post; I powered through with cheesy pop music from Clueless, Empire Records and The Brady Bunch Movie. It kept me up tempo, fo' sho, and didn't involve lyrics that made me want to jump out the window. Though I found those songs best enjoyed immobile (actively trying to gain weight because I couldn't eat and was already 5'8 and like, 100 pounds or something). SMOKIN' HOT.

I heart your icon.

My hair smells pretty.

Congratulations, in any event, for funneling your energy into things like marathons. Some people just drink all the time.

riese said...

Anonymous #35: We had very similar periods of drunken blurs! Except I might still be in mine.

I'm assuming you are either at Happy Hour or in a different time zone. Either way, rock!

And no one can express themselves, obvs, life is like one endless miscommunication.

Also, "defo" is a new word for me and I like it.

Anonymous said...

Any coincidence that pretty much ALL your readers are insomniacs?

Doesn't anyone sleep?

We can take over the world a lot more efficiently is we're well rested.

Or so I keep telling myself...

riese said...


Waa havi! I missed your comment from before, because it was so little like you when I was scrolling. I was going to say: "I don't know, why we don't go on my roof. Good question." Hm.

I think it is totes not at all even slightly a coincidence at all. Clearly they can relate to my anxiety. Our anxiety.

Someone else who doesn't sleep: you. 'specially when we first met. You NEVER slept then! I think I slept more then, actually. No, I don't think I've slept in ages.

Anonymous said...

#35 (and I'm loving that I have a number!) is in your future (about 5 hours ahead) and it's lokking rosy (well, dark because it's night but rosy sounds better).

And yes life is one long miscommunication. That reminds me of the time Flordia "miscommunicated" with the US voting system. How we all laughed!

Anonymous said...

i totes agree with anon #35. and also, i don't like speaking in public... i hate being in the spotlight even in the most minor way, but you deserve the non-commenters love too so i will try to pop in more.

and let's face it, you will never run out of things to say!!

The Brooklyn Boy said...

I generally get something like five (1-6 in the a.m.), more often on the lower side of the "something like" range. I occasionally go on very few, though totally without is rare.

Being clever is working out fantastically well or ... fine, thanks. I quite enjoy it. Well, that and making obscure hip hop references on blogs least likely to get them, ha. Tell 'em why you mad!

lawlaws said...

Cor blimey! It's a veritable comment orgy on here today.

I loves it.

Thats all I have to say.

Tess said...

My elbow? When was my elbow involved?
It's fine and no blood shed just broken blood vessels, hence the color. What made her think my elbow was hurt?

Tess D'Urbervilles = Tragic

Also, I am not pure nor do I present myself as faithful.

I love everything about you too.

Oo Lynnie oO said...

holy shizzit. i go on vaca for like 5 days and come back and now there are like 500 comments so mine is going to be all lame and late!

but owell...i shall still comment away...because i like sleep / no sleep subject

sleep? i either sleep wayyyy too much or not at all...i saw RENT on no sleep...after staying up all night; first wondering if my roomate was mad at me or not, then convincing my friends who were with me that it'd be fun to go to nyc and see rent on no sleep...and that we could stay up and sing songs from highschool musical (we did).

but i like sleeping in ...alot...if i dont have anything planned for that day then i dont see the point of waking up, just to move my ass downstairs to my couch as opposed to my bed...and nothing in the world sounds better to me then putting in a movie and curling up into bed...delish.

and as much as i love sleep, its hard for me to actually fall always takes at least a couple hours...and i tend to stay up im just insane, actually...thats my point...i have no sleeping pattern. esp. in the summer i just end up sleeping all day and staying up all night, bc im a teenager and badass.

so do you ever get the "sleepy giggles"? as my 1 friend says, they're awesome. and when i get them i always get deep thoughts and crazy good ideas.

hazel said...

I've often wanted to comment on your blog, but for some reason I never have. One of my favorite things about your blog is how often you try to joke over things that clearly are affecting you and making you feel things that you either don't want to write about or can't write about. So even when you don't address things directly, your writing becomes so much more raw as a result...because those experiences and those feelings have a way of making themselves known.

So, am I hot? yes. Do I work at HBO? Not yet, actually I want to work for comedy central. Gay? Indeed. Fun? Absolutely. A boy? No. Weird? Probably. Have we slept together? No, and we never will because I love my girlfriend very much, though we both think you're rather attractive. How many hours a night? At least 8 or I can't even function. I don't understand people who can function on less.

riese said...

Anonymous #35:

Carly's currently trying to make the DVD-R work so that our rosy future will come to fruition. There is a serious miscommunication between the TV and the DVD-R. Oh, Florida, that silly state.


Anonymous #36:

You're right! You should see me in public. I can yabber more or less endlessly.


My Other Man (besides Lozo):

6 am. That is a time I haven't had to wake up regularly at since high school.

Dude, 'tell 'em why you mad!' has like a double meaning almost! Do you know what I mean? Do ya, punk?



I'd like to have a non-virtual comment orgy. Just like everyone commenting at the same time, and naked, since apparently most of my readers are hot!



It's all knees and elbows in here. I can't even see straight! That's probably how I got done hurt in the first place. That's true, it's hard to stay pure, let alone faithful, but in the end, love will see us through. Do you know what I mean? I'm sure you do.


Lyn is not Lame:

Hi! I wondered where you were at. (seriously, I did.) I love RENT! I would see it on sleep, no sleep, or lots of sleep. I bet it was kinda trippy. I'm a big dork.

The problem for me now with sleeping in is that I always have 10,000 things to do. I want to sleep in. But I start feeling guilty. Unless I am really drunk the night before, because then I can tell myself that I don't need to wake up the night before and not set my alarm.

You are badass. I don't know what the sleepy giggles are, but I might have them.



That's actually the same strategy I use for life itself.

You hit the nail on the head ... thank you, for that. That's true. I'm glad that you see that. This post would be a good example.

I am glad that you have a girlfriend and get at least 8 hours of sleep ... I'm beginning to see a connection between couplehood and sleep. Anyone else see this?

Unless you're dating someone who doesn't sleep, hypothetically. Hm.


Oo Lynnie oO said...

Thanks for wondering where i was, im home in Philly now, just so you know.

im sure you've had the sleepy's when lack of sleep = acting like a crackhead...and if not then i wish them on you.

ps; south of nowhere tonight, hollaaa! woah, more like in 5 mins.

kate said...

so impressed! how well did your call to arms work? went to bed (very topical), woke up and there’s millions (tens) of comments.

totally irrelevant but:

sometimes i wonder if i should say less, because i'm going to run out of things to say

my parents used to tell me that you only have so many words to use and then you go mute just to make me be quite. sometimes just for a laugh they’d tell me that i’d been talking in my sleep just to see my cry. sadistic but quite funny – there’s a tape of it somewhere.

Anonymous said...

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

El N said...

Win: You win in my world. Like automatically. Also: Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling.

MSG said...

hi! just wanted to join the automatic orgy....much love to riese and thanks for all that you share! hot female here...i don't work for hbo but my friend does!
sleeping has always been a real trip for me because of extremely vivid dreams. but for all you non-sleepers, i can't believe how many of you there are, recently there was a pretty good documentary on hbo (or maybe it was showtime) called wide awake...

Anonymous said...

God I adored this entry but it made me feel lame on two levels: 1) I did not get the "Fight Club" reference, which is highly lame since I am a huge Palahniuk fan; and 2) I am such an embarrassingly bad fellow blogger because I cannot even manage to reply to my own commenters, much less bring myself to comment on others' blogs, even though I read them religiously (as I do yours, obvs).

Anyway, on to the interview, yes? I think I'm a pretty hot little number (then again I've been known to suffer from periods of extreme egotism, but whatevs, I think I'm hot). Obvs, I do not work for HBO, or you would have already been offered a contract. I am ZOMG SO GAY! GAY! GAY! I am also way wicked awesome fun (unless, you know, I'm depressed, like I am now, in which case I am still fun but in a sad, pathetic sort of way). I am a boy, and a total weirdo, and, no, we have not slept together (although you did attend my undergrad alma mater for a brief period).

I sleep about four hours a night, due to insomnia, anxiety, and the fact that I drink too much. Often I will have just one two many cocktails to ensure that I will not dream and that I will sleep at least four hours, only to wake up at four in the morning, not hungover, and think to myself, "Oh well hey better go running!"

And, as usual, I heart your writing.

Anonymous said...

Also, I clearly do not understand the vast difference between "two" and "too." *headkeyboard*

Anonymous said...

As a biochemisty college student, I have spent many nights without sleep, writing lab reports and reading your blog (and several of the blogs on your blogroll). As a broke college student, I obvs cannot afford Showtime, and therefore rely heavily on your L Word recaps. Thank you for them. Also, as a nerdy science major, I have no social life, and therefore live vicariously through other people. Thank you for providing the tool with which I may do so.

In conclusion, you = totes awesome. (I often now find myself using "totes" and "obvs", it is slowly catching on amongst my friends)

Mercury said...

I've done two all-nighters in the last three months.

I sleep a lot, although I can run on little sleep. I've always had sleep issues like other people have eating disorders. I always seem to be doing either way too much or way too little. Lately I'm trying really hard to balance it because the last time I found balance I only had one job and now I have two so I could either sleep as much as I used to, work, breathe, eat & bathe, or I could sleep less, and do other stuff too, like write this, and hang out with people who miss knowing who I am.

I haven't read the 55 comments that preceded mine yet? but I will, later, probably.

Mercury said...

ps I just read all those comments and they're beautiful. I agree: I like it when you write this way. I laugh and appreciate your humor whe you joke through everything, and I'm into joking a lot, but it also slightly frustrates me. I always wanna know, what's REALLY going on. I want the raw truth, raw deep lancing broken open and spilled on the floor truth.

I never edit my posts.

I write in my paper journal a lot too. (read: every day)

Mercury said...

oh, PS, I lied, I do edit my posts, recently. I never USED to edit my posts, I never edit my comments. obviously, or else I woudln't have 3 in a row right now

riese said...


no probs! I always act like a crackhead. When you wrote this, Carly was probably sitting on the couch watching me fight with the A/V cords. Unsuccessfuly, obvs. But I updated autostraddle and will put up the recap ASAP.



That tape should be your next blog entry. I think there's a fine line between sadistic and funny,and I try to cross it often.



" the middle you saw the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes AWWWW!!"


el n:

I won't stop, believing, no I won't stop, believing.



Your friend works for HBO really who!?!! Are they in development?!

I want to see that documentary. Dammit I don't get HBO. But I have super vivid dreams too. Lately I've been dreaming a lot about Tegan & Sara and losing massive amounts of money.



Everything about your comment made me happy.

I hope you did not hit your head on the keyboard, then you'd make a lot more typing errors than just that one with "two" and "too." You should've seen the first draft of this post, in which I used "to" instead of "too" for a good 20 hours.

I feel like I do the same thing about the hours and the like working out or something.



[insert name here]:

Your friends will be all over totes and obvs in no time, trust me. I know mine are. Speaking of friends, my social life is actually super-lame, and I have no excuses (aka I am not a biochem anything, not even really sure what biochem is but it sounds smarter than me, and my broke-ness is totally unrelated to college student-dom. I wish it was. That'd be more romantic. Or if it was related to going out, I could be like "I am out all the time! Totes broke!")



I know, I feel like we've both been witnessing the bizarre sleep habits of the other, communicating at hours I can't even begin to get a hold on. So many things I can't get a hold on!

MoonKiller said...

I like putting my hands in really hot water. It makes them tingle and feel nice.

I actually wore my hoodie to bed last nite because I left the window open and couldn't be bothered to close it and I was depressed to my inner core.

Wordveri: lkeygqac - Lucky Guacamole.

lawlaws said...

My Tegan and Sara dreams have recently become a little bizarre. I do always end up with one of them (usually Tegan at the moment). But last week Sara managed to accidentally to shoot herself in the hand with a teeny tiny gun!

Is The Sopranos on HBO in the US? Cos my friends bands music was chosen to be in the commercial for the Soprano's finale. But thats probably a completely different department.

Anonymous said...

Could the next post be all about how you can reclaim Depeche Mode? Seriously, it's been 4 years and I'm still trying. In fact next time I'll try to interpret it as an ominous warning rather than a you-and-I-are-made-for-each-other sign.

I need my sleep btw. 7-8 hours, but I usually only get 6.

Are you hot? I'd like to think so.
Do you work for HBO? No, but I'd love to be a Showtime bigwig and fire E.Ziff. You dig?
Are you gay? I'm bi and, yes, I did respond to your survey. What's going on with that book?
Are you fun? Totes!
Are you a boy? No
Are you a weirdo? Abso-fucking-lutely!
Have we slept together? No :(

Anonymous said...

I had insomnia in high school, which made it waaay more interesting. I'd go without sleep for days and sit in class and just trip. Good times. I generally get 4-5 hours these days. I'm on leave from the Navy so i'm getting a bit more right now - woo!

Are you hot? smokin' Do you work for HBO? uh nah. Are you gay? yes. Are you fun? of course. Are you a boy? nope. Are you a weirdo? probably. Have we slept together? nope

I'd just like to give you props for being such a fantastic writer. The fact that you can keep me interested for more than 10 minutes has to be recognised. You've actually been making me giggle for quite a while now but i've never commented for some unknown reason. Anyways, just keep swimming. And writing. Of course.


caitlinmae said...

girllll you make me wanna go out and BLOG! (I feel like in the future, or in the past, that could have been vaguely sexual.) I first read this while I was subtitling footage about expensive chickens in Mali- and now, again, I am struck (as always) with the accuracy of your observations.
I think maybe bloggers and the ladies that love them are an insomniac bunch. your comments surely indicate some sort of trend. You really hit a chord with the Undressed Marathons... I remember being young(er) and staying up watching that and writing awful poetry in blue bic (on anything that could take it- my jeans, my converse, lisa frank notebooks) about my nascent sexuality.
Also- part of me commented just so I could get a nickname.
Also- I might start writing things about myself, soon. Would you read them? I have a story about a houseboat and about wearing essentially a slip in yesterday's NY downpour that is potentially amusing to someone other than myself.

Anonymous said...

look at all these comments, it's crazy..

why is SoN better than the l word? does anyone have any answers on this? it makes me crazy..

also about the hbo thing, yes it's a lawyer thing, i don't know if he could be of any help, but i could ask, maybe he knows someone or something, and that could really be an auto-win!!

Rebecca Foster said...

I don't know if I'm retarded or just woke up too early but I can't see any other way to tell you this so: beccaplay = Rebecca. Have a drink on me. And thanks.

MSG said...

you've been dreaming about T&S and losing massive amounts of money? that's pretty cute ya big libra. my dreams are sometimes violent, unfortunately. i'm a protective lil cancerian crab...i get chased down and end up having to save myself through force and it disturbs me to the core. i'll even 'close my eyes' as i stab some psycho when he's trying to kill me. TMI? when i was like 7, i dreamnt my principal got shot with a shotgun in the hallway of school and i was staring at the gaping hole in her (but it wasn't pretty like in death becomes her). funny thing is i'm not really disturbed, i'm actually very happy and peaceful. i blame the mo fo assholes in the world, not as much violence on tv or dean koontz books at way too young of an age. luckily i do have good dreams too. they usually involve the sea and sea animals, or the sexiest most beautiful romance ever that practically puts me to tears upon waking up and realizing it's not true. yea, sometimes i wish i could just ...sleep.

no, jill is the set director for entourage. i did have a friend that worked for [redacted] Entertainment, and HBO was their client but i think it was more or less just comedic representation. are you already done with writing the entire show?? i'd love to read/see what you've got and i'd be happy to put you in contact with my friends who are assistants in development at other networks, or try to get you connected to HBO if that's what you feel is your goal.

get at me in private-you know who i am, or do you??

Anonymous said...

Just another reader/non-commenter here. Questions? Are you hot? My girlfriend thinks so! Do you work for HBO? Nope, but if I did I would def help! Are you gay? Yep! Are you fun? When I'm not a work. =) Are you a boy? Nope. Are you a weirdo? Most ppl think so! Have we slept together? Nope. Why have I never commented? I really don't know...but I will def start...
Also, I sleep around 4 or 5 hours on a normal night, but it takes me a really long time to fall asleep. Is that some kind of insomnia? I am also a night owl and don't go to bed till at least 3 in the morning.
Also, I la-la-la-love the way you write, and just want to say thank you for putting it all out there/here. Hope your day is going well.
OH, and also...Hello!

MoonKiller said...

Right. I'm known for my drunken commenting. so. I love you nearly as much as I love Chuck Klosterman. I'm fucked off my face. My friend Rhys is helping me write this so it makes sense. Saaaaaafe.

frank said...

i go away for three days, and you're getting 69 comments on a post? keep it up then, right up.

now, as a question of etiquette, before i hit "publish your comment," do i give you the ass or the crotch?

oh, 6-8 hours, on average.

oh, and if this is "unfiltered" marie, awesome.

Anonymous said...

i usually get 7-9 hours of sleep, but unfortunately i dont go to bed early enough, so i just go to work late every day. but nobody cares, so its fine. i really cant function on less sleep than that. ive never had insomnia, i think i have the opposite of insomnia, where if im feeling stressed out or anxious, i just sleep even more.

riese said...


Why did you decide to do South of Nowhere recaps? waaaaaaa.



And ... you do. [know]



I do too. Especially when it's cold out. Not now as much as usual. I think we had lucky guacamole today at Blockheads. Actually, I didn't have any, but it was there on the table. Haviland wears hoodies to bed!



Re: tiny guns ... in an ambiened state, I wrote on my facebook profile (obvs time suckage, over it) that my favorite band was "tiny toy guns." Which is so amazing.

It is on HBO ... I don't know a lot about departments, but yeah I'd imagine they're not the same department. I've never seen "The Sopranos." Apparently it had an unsatisfying ending this year? I'm totes out of it. Anyhow, hm.


Anonymous Number #37:

It's hard. She [that's the beginning of a sentence, but would be capatalised no matter what the grammatical positioning] once referred to it as "ominous death music" -- this was in the blog.

I usually try to reclaim music by listening to it constantly in new contexts. Depeche Mode is proving particularly difficult because it's lyrics are ... well ... interpretation would suggest ominous warnings, all kinds of scary all over.

The book: good question. I'm supposed to be reworking it right now as straight memoir rather than non-fiction, per the suggestions of various editors to my agent.

Honestly, I'm busy out of my skull and ... having trouble reclaiming it.

I'd abso-fucking-lutely like to fire the hell out of E.Ziff. She's got an unfair advantage, re: abso-fucking-IC.




The Navy! That is way cooler than my job! (Wait ... I don't have one. JK, I do. But not one that requires bravery and stuff. Or maybe it does. Hm.) Isn't it true that in the army they just take 20 minute power naps? That's what our crew coach told us "All you need is 20 minute power nap. Like in army." I was like "fuck this shit."

I will swim on.



I know, doesn't Blogger need a sexier verb? It's like "Hi, I have two ggggggs."

LISA FRANK! Oh Lisa Frank. And writing on converse! I bet we're used to staying up late and feeling alienated.

I want to read everything. Obvs.

I try to, too, and I think I generally do. I did more when I worked in an office, because i had small bits of time to kill when I couldn't really do anything besides consume content rather than create it. Now I feel like I have to be creating every spare moment. i also tell myself that this counts.

So yes, it might not be as prompt as I wish it was, and sometimes I blank out on reading things for days and then read everything all in one piece, but a story about a houseboat and wearing a slip in the downpour sounds absolutely delightful, and I think it would be amusing to someone other than yourself, hands down totes.

The only thing that could possibly make it more entertaining would be photographs.

Also, Tarnation was one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life, and it makes me v.sad that more people have not seen it. I told my Mom to see it, I wonder if she did. Did I say that before? It's possible.



I hope to answer that question within the next few months. Though I was thinking, I'd probs be more likely to seduce a producer from the OurChart universe if I wasn't constantly hating on IC. Hm.



[Thank You.]



I think violence is about fear, and violation, probably. I have violent dreams a lot. A lot. I'm listening to T & S right now. Maybe your subconscious handles everything so you can be happy and pleasant in your normal life?

I hate the dreams where I wake up and realise they aren't true and I wished that they were true. I'd rather have a nightmare, because I think I prefer being pleasantly surprised upon waking then disappointed. Hm, that sounds totes bleak. I just learned how to spell that word, "disappointed."

[I'm emailing you right now, will send you the pilot tonight/tomorrow. Or I will be sending it to whom I am 95% sure you are.]

[thank you]



You should be fun at work too! Then you can have chair races and stuff. I used to have fun at work by throwing things at Stephen.

That is insomnia. I don't go to bed earlier than 3 usually either. I'm trying to break this habit because i know I get more done when I wake up early. Which is hard to do when I am so tired that I sleep through my alarm.



MoonKiller Club:

Chuck Klosterman and I will have to fight over you. It will be brutal and beautiful. Hi Rhys!


Lozo x 69

I know, right? And they aren't all from you! I think I'm going to stop blogging and just continue to comment on this post.

Unfiltered, maybe. Not uncensored, obvs. But slightly unfiltered. Long lasting, better taste or something. I don't know. I don't know a lot about beer. Hm.



I had a friend like that. When life got overwhelming, he'd sleep for days. in retrospect, overwhelming was often code for "I've been on coke for five days" but also, he could just go to sleep when stressed. I seem to date people who're like that, because anyone who's a fellow insomniac is likely to get annoyed at my habits. But sometimes, I've learned, annoyed=endeared=something.


Anonymous said...

you know, i have a good friend who is an accupuncturist. her office is on st marks. shes really a wonderful person and shes good at accupuncture. she could totally help you get some sleep if youre tired of not sleeping. its my opinion that she can actually solve all of your problems, but she doesnt like when i tell people that, thinking it gives them unrealistic expectations or whatever. but seriously, its like loving magic in your brain and spirit and lots of things seems way better after shes done with you. if you are interested you could email me - rocket.dyke at - and ill give you her number.

Anonymous said...

I would love to be fun at work! Unfortunately, everyone I work with is at LEAST 30 years older than me (I'm 27). So FUN=CHILDISH to them. But hey, they have to retire SOMETIME, right?!

Annie said...

About 4-5 hours a night, and usually that's on three Tylenol P.M. because I get paranoid that without them I won't ever fall asleep. As a general rule, if you take three P.M., you're supposed to plan on sleeping for at least 9-11 hours. I'm going to die soon.

caitlinmae said...

Look what I found!
(I am actually using this for class notes this year, totes hands down.)

Also- I have weird fingers and chipped polish

Oo Lynnie oO said...

so how many comments do you think this entry can get? if you keep responding to everyone, and they keep responding could be never ending.

Oo Lynnie oO said... the never ending story! or the song that never ends!

MoonKiller said...

That would be awesome. But he's known for getting out a light sabre.
I'm also waging a war between Ben Gibbard of Death Cab and Bob Dylan it'll be like on 8 Mile with like lyrical wars.

Anonymous said...

I'm a girl
who lives in France like some of the commenters
I sleep 9 hours per night one night out of 2 and skip the middle night to phone all night long to my Australian boyfriend I've been with for 8 months and only saw for 4 hours in my whole life we met at a wedding fell at first sight and live in different hemispheres and life is INternet for us. Sometimes we have to remind each other to live stuff, if only to tell it the next night. It can/does get competitive-who can live the most in the littlest time.

I read you because you are far away and surprisingly astute and endearingly wrong sometimes
I can't say obvs because I only speak French because my accent blows in English.
And when I'm very sad I write a blog I never show anyone it's hidden in the wild web of possible friends/lovers/stalkers
my best life is in front of the screen
the rest is only for courtesy's sake, know what I mean?
I miss french kissing. They call it pashing in australia. The rest is far nicer on the net. I'm wittier and nicer and great fun on the net. In real life I'm shy. A Berlin Wallflower.
Thanks for everything, and I return to my anonymous lurkdom.

riese said...

Obvs I'm overdue for a Sunday Top 10, which, during South of Nowhere season, will clearly be a Tuesday Top 5 called "Sunday Top 10"

Everyone go read the South of Nowhere Season Three Episode One Recap, it has girls kissing, is only 100,000 words long, and you can comment there too. Ha. What's wrong with me? (How many questions do I ask myself about my own sanity on my own comment boards?) (rherotical?)


Oh, that sounds totes serious business with the needles and skin I have a LOT of problems with how my body does/doesn't work ... I've considered it before hm, I will def. consider it more. Your description is great though, you should advertise for this woman!


hey nicki!

Totally! Then you can roll your chair all over the place! Childish=Awesome.



Annie do you want to have a joint funeral? Or maybe we should open a pharmacy together, we seem to have similar problems. Because I think I've been pushing it with the sleep aids myself. I used to have to take two Unisom. One time I did that, and then my boyfriend came over and said "Let's go to Denny's." I don't remember much of what happened after that, but it may or may not've involved "moons over my hammy."



I also have weird fingers and chipped polish. Whatever. That doesn't matter. All that matters right now is that your notebook is BRILL. I think I'm going to start switching over to Lisa Frank products. Hm, maybe I can change my blog to a Lisa Frank template. She can't sue me, right? I bet she's got plenty of money, and who cares about lil old me.


The Story of O Lyn: Actually we were talking about this yesterday, because that's exactly how cool we are. Razia hasn't commented yet, maybe she will. That's 80. Hm. Ha. I could keep thinking about this. But ... who knows? I'll just let it flow, y'know? We'll see. Also you're fo-sho my No.1 for today. Err, yesterday? How does time work again? I should ask Spencer's Dad.

Yay, Animaniacs reference!!



I would love nothing more in life than to see a Bob Dylan/Death Cab rap-off. I would love nothing more than to see Bob Dylan rap.



Your relationship is intense! I don't know if I could handle that long on the phone. Though clearly I can, as I referenced in this particular blog entry. It's funny how hours just keep going and going and you still are on the phone. I find my hands-free headset enables this pretty well.

You're so right, re: "it does get competitive -- who can live the most in the littlest time."

I like the way you phrased everything. I can't phrase anything better than that.

.elida. said...

This post was great. I’ve never commented before. I’m not sure why. Anyway…

I work at THE Home Depot and go to school at Wayne State University (in Michigan!). I’m a technical theatre major, which means that—like you—my degree will be meaningless. Mostly.

I do not work for HBO. We have not slept together. I sleep 4 or 5 hours a night, unless I drank a lot the night before. Then, I lock my cat out of my room and sleep until I absolutely have to get up. If I don’t lock her out, she will climb all over my head chewing on my hair when she decides I have slept for long enough. I’ve almost punted her twice because of it. But I never did and never would because that would be mean and cruel blah blah blah.

The movie quote is from Fight Club. It’s after Edward Norton rambles on about “single serving friends”. Also, I got super excited when I read the title of this blog because I adore Stars. That was great. Thanks.

.elida. said...

Oh, and I forgot to add that I LOVE reading your blog. It makes my day. I love your style and your proverbial nakedness. The Top Ten posts are great and the pictures you pepper the posts with are always entertaining.

Anonymous said...

I had a terrible time sleeping last night, so I guess this post was timely for me to read today. I read regularly, never comment, but do appreciate your posts very much. Your cast on this blog is like it's own little L word, in a much more down to earth sense. Very cool to read about the city lives of you all and compare to the Midwestern life I see here. Neither better or worse, just a different perspective...especially your "lesbians." Without a doubt, in that arena, I'm positive New York wins.

riese said...


I totally know Wayne State! That's awesome! I find Home Depot very mind boggling. We went there and got a grill over winter break. I can't remember which one, it was near Royal Oak I guess ... hm. "pictures you pepper the posts with" is amazing alliteration!



Yessss the comment Haviland and I've waited all our lives (on this blog) for! Wish I was kidding ... but I'm not. ... haha ... Yeah, it's a very different scene here than it was in Michigan.

This is like my midwestern comment. I love the Midwest. yay!

elec-tri-city said...

I admit to having a reading/no-commenting habit. I'm like a sponge. Just take it all in, and apparently, let it out somewhere else (if at all?).

Me, though, per your inquisitions:
Are you hot? -- Yes? I never really think so, but I hear that other people do.

Do you work for HBO? -- No, but I am a high school English teacher, and therefore, a supreme actor.. kind of.

Are you gay? -- Oh. Yes. Quite.

Are you fun? -- When I am not in loner-mode, I am. I am a dancer-only-when-intoxicated, but other than that, I am witty and pretty and, um, gay.

Are you a boy? -- No. I enjoy being a girl. (Can you name that musician?)

Are you a weirdo? -- As in psycho weirdo? No; I've had too many experiences with them there kind to ever want to be like them. I am weird, though. In that unique, ohmygod REALLY? sort of way.

Have we slept together? -- Not that I'm aware of.

And as for sleep: I am a sleep machine. I go for at least 8 hrs a night. My body enjoys the resting, and my mind enjoys the laziness.

SleepingGraves said...

Anyhow, this is an old thread..yeah sleep is great. I slept 16 hours today. F'ing comatose ! Preferably I sleep 7-8 hours, I can operate on 6 but prefer not too. Um doing without sleep has some advantages though :) Whatever I found your writing interesting thx ! /B

SleepingGraves said...

Are you hot? -- I could care less..fortunately people are attracted to me. Vanity is a curse.

Do you work for HBO? -- Is that like the Home Box Office or something..sorry, I have no idea

Are you gay? -- Not! too each there own of course and more power to you !

Are you fun? -- Hell yeah !

Are you a boy? -- Yup

Are you a weirdo? -- Totally normal appearing..Is that weird ? I think so...:)

Have we slept together? -- I'm sure we haven't ! Should we have ?

Medicinal Plants said...

If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

And even begging to be with you.

Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

Thanks again.