Wednesday, January 14, 2009

automatic fun of the day : 1.14.09

Firstly a BIG thank you to all y'all who voted Autowin for the 2008 Webblog Contest, especially if you voted a lot or recruited voters. Thanks to your efforts, I could've won the contest, but I didn't, 'cause it was rigged, and everyone else cheated and had an alliance for the tribal council. Unfortunately they were not caught and therefore also not punished, but I've snagged 5th place, !!!!, making me WAY cooler than John Kerry. No seriously, thank you. I am lucky to have such lovely people in my cyber-life. As your reward I promise to never make you vote for me for anything ever again. I can't control Tinkerbell, but you know.

Secondly!!! Check me out on Alexi's Closet on AfterEllen right now! This week I provide valuable advice to fashion maven Alexi about accessories and other important things. By that I mean I talk crazy while she tries to actually do her show.

quote:"I want to work in revelations, not just spin silly tales for money. I want to fish as deep down as possible into my own subconscious in the belief that once that far down, everyone will understand because they are the same that far down." (Jack Kerouac)

Link Party
- New Autostraddle: L Word Episode 601 in Twitter.
- Even with 140 character limits, The Twitterari Say Far Too Much.
- Cory Doctorow offfers really solid advice for anyone who battles the internet's infringement on daily productivity in writing in the age of distraction, @locus.
- We begin the worst-president-ever retrospective with Slate's Top 25 Bushisms of all time. 1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- Not Your Father's Censorship.: "with everything digitized, new communication technologies have led to a global proliferation of cencorship agents, methods and rationales."
- Clea Duvall's last blog on Funny or Die: Yes We Can, But Should We? "I should be sad right now ... but there's an excitement in the air ..."
- Turn yourself into an Obama icon. This will probably be saturated and annoying within 24 hours.
- New York Mag's aggressively-hip "New" issue includes new "lit-boy" Tao Lin by my hero Sam Anderson.
- The Advocate reports -- in '96, Obama went on the record supporting same-sex marriage.
- Hot Blogger 2009 Photos (an Urlesque Exclusive). Check me out, check out av flox..
- Dirty Secrets of College Admissions at the daily beast and salon's retort at The Perils of Privilege.

insomnia poem #22
featuring excerpts from riese's actual diary, 2006.

i. I keep having these dreams where
I look like Mary Louise Parker.

ii. I want out of myself
I want to be mature but I also want
permission to suck.

ii. I have never been so close to someone
so utterly disturbed.
She was normal today.
Maybe her therapist told her
to stop being such a cunt.

Dearest Natalie,
I stood next to someone wearing
your perfume
and it made me miss you.

v. So I need to write something
to save my soul.

vi. I look like Mary Louise Parker,
and everything is sun & grass.


The Brooklyn Boy said...

Go Team! We're all auto-winners today. But especially you. Fifth among equals, or something like that. :)

And here's the obligatory ZOMG FIRST!!?!

asher said...

nice autofun. well done.

btw - i have no real leads. but assuming i move to nyc and take a shit job at a crappy ad agency (this is the way that we live) i will need us to make 'the factory' a real life project so i can build/maintain my design skills/ego. k, thnx.

Gold Star Dyke said...

The gay boys come out in huge numbers to vote!!! You still have a chance at The Lezzy's on TLL. Never say never!!!

Anonymous said...

i like the insomnia throwback poem. the scent memory is so strong, i have started to avoid the malls. i am disappointed in not winning the contest, i went back to the apple store and voted a bunch, tragic really. anyway, onward and upward from here.

Liz said...

bravo! you did awesome on alexi's closet. Perhaps a career in fashion tips in front of you? there is always a high demand for personal shoppers.

also: congrats on 5th place. woop woop!

second also: I wish i ever looked like mary louise parker. and also I wish I was a drug dealing housewife.

Zenmiester said...

Great video with Alexi's Closet, and wonderful opening.

The thing with the boyfriend stealing a ring is like straight out of Seinfeld.

autumn m said...

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok. i'm utterly upset that you didn’t win the contest, and got 5th. They were all cheating. So i love your hot blogger calendar picture. You’re all, "look at me, im hot with my scarf and stuff." and and i loved the Alexi's closet thing. It makes me wish you would do more vlogs. Like really....get on that.

riese said...

Brooklyn Boy: FIRSTTTT callback! I think I was the only one who placed out of order w/r/t technorati rating, so that's something? Probs not, but I dont' feel like checking on this.

asher: Firstly let me know about the crappy ad agency and if they are looking for copywriters. secondly, the factory is in the works. You will come.

Gold Star Dyke: I know, right? Ooo yeah this should be my year right? dont the second placers always take first the next year? But everyone will have to nominate me and vote for me on their own volition, 'cause I won't be yelling at everyone. Well, Tinkerbell might. As I said I can't control Tink.

Anonymous: every time i go to the malls i smell ryan which is weird. i guess towleroad also went to the apple store. or a lot of readers. well, we tried!

Liz: Thank you. Do you think even in this economy that people need personal shoppers? That being said, as I told Alexi, I could defo do her a serious tour of TJ Maxx, Loehmann's, Century 21 omg it'd be like an adventure movie.

Zenmiester: Thank you I thought i sounded just like alexi. hot compliment.

autumn m: They were all cheating, totally. I will make more vlogs and then hopefully I will win next year maybe. I mean, I got to take fun photos for the calendar that i won. I wish Haviland lived in NYC or I lived in LA or we both lived in Nebraska, then we could vlogalog.

LittleTink said...

ZOMG 9th!!?! hi riese!!!!!! i love this. and the vlog. and your brain. and you. and brooklyn. and life. okay love you bye!!!!

LittleTink said...

hi again riese i think i just need to reiterate the fact that i love you so i love you okay i think that should do it bye!!!!!!

LittleTink said...


LittleTink said...

like i hope you understand how much i really do

LittleTink said...


Anonymous said...

dearest marie,
when i stand next to someone wearing burberry brit, i always miss you.

ps. i never write this, but my word verificatio is vulaterd. i really like that.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

LittleTink - Loving Riese and loving Brooklyn means you're encroaching on my territory, and we do how we do round my way when we're feeling protective/prideful. For the record. Just in case. And so on and so forth.

a;ex said...

Asherrrrrr you'll totally be recruited to the Factory. I need assistance here - it would be a pleasure to do work we don't get paid for with you. :)

LittleTink said...

TBB- can't we all just get along?

The Brooklyn Boy said...

LT - We can. I'm just fiesty at 3 a.m. after a night out.

[Scratches LT behind ears]

Sharing is caring. The WB told me that when I was wee.

Liz said...

Oh, people always need personal shoppers. Even in a time of crisis. good ol' Goodman, our lovely mayor in vegas said that during this economic downturn it is important that we keep shopping as much as we can.

autumn m said...

I have a lot of feelings about planes in rivers. Those poor people landed in the Hudson River!!! Isn’t that the really gross one that no one wants to swim in?? Yeah I thought so. Those poor passengers are going to be mutants with ears are their foreheads and gills on their necks.

LittleTink said...

TBB- yay! this is the way that we liveeeeeeeee!

p.s. i love you for that scratch.

Elizabeth said...

Yeah, you seriously need to get yourself an AE vlog... I just came from watch This Just Out and Cat on the Prowl and Brunch with Bridget (all my favs...) and I would def put you in my playlist. It's what I do instead of inventing a real life...

Mercury said...

I love that picture of TO DO and I love the insomnia poem for sure.

DJL said...

your twitter account is great and all, but are you going to actually write something substantial ever again?