Honorary GAY A.E Brain is up for Best Australia/New Zealand blog (unfortunately Crystal's favorite blog and new blog bestie Defamer Australia didn't make the list this year), GAY Mombian's goin' at it for Best Large Blog, and BISEXUAL Margaret Cho and OBVS SECRETLY GAY Britney Spears are both on tap for Best Celebrity Blogger.
So the first five on this illustrious Top Ten Gayest Moments of My Life included The Rosie Cruise, Mz Hip 'n Fit New York 2008, my Mom's gay picnics, Melissa Etheridge in Atlantic City and the NewNowNext Awards.
When conducting a two-part Top Ten, I generally blow the best bits on Round One and imagine the second part being written by someone else, a better version of me with better choosing skills, or even a drunker version of me with less self-consciousness. Howevs, I'm so hungover I need a new word for Hungover and therefore it's just memememememe & my little baby mind.
I've had so many Gay Moments, especially these past few years. Even when I was a practicing het, I had a super gay life. I'm thinking big events for this Top Ten, but what about the really big private moments that I'll never talk about for free or the little private moments like the night I decided to finish reading Well of Loneliness after watching Brokeback Mountain and then cried and wanted to kill myself? I didn't though. So. Rawr.
I witnessed many homo-heavy events at the Pine Knob amphitheater in suburban Detroit in the 90's including Lilith Fair, Ani DiFranco, and, on more than one occasion -- the Indigo Girls. The best IG concert I've been to was at the Greek Theater in Berkley, but my gayest IG-related moment was the Summer '02 Pine Knob stop of the "become you" tour. The cheap seats are on the lawn at Pine Knob.
I didn't even know they had a new album out (this would NEVER happen usually, I heart Indigo Girls) 'cause my dumb boyfriend, who was living with me that summer in the lesbian-filled house I'd occupied year-round, refused to listen to anything other than Blink 182 andNewfound Glory. You know that look people give you when you turn on your car and the Indigo Girls blast out? It's like "Did you just shove Emily'sbirkenstock up my ass?" look, the "Are you trying to kill me with blood and fire" look. I just wanna listen to my feeeelings.
My lesbian rugby roommates invited me, it was one of the first times I'd been out w/o my boyfriend in a while. They danced on the grass with bare feet like kids and I sat on the blanket with the hummus and the pita and I quickly identified my initial disgust towards their comfort/fancy-freehood/self-awareness as deep jealousy and then, at that moment, as Amy & Emily sang with acoustic guitar, I honestly thought (ever soinsightfully) to myself: "my boyfriend will never understand me."
See I didn't even know what I was talking about. YET.
[from Stef's cartoon recap of the Tegan & Sara concert.
Carly is bleeding from the head.]
But then ... speaking of concerts ... is that even gayer than when Tinkerbell got signed by Leisha & Cam at the Philly Uh Huh Her concert? Is that gayer than the Uh Huh Her concert where a fan with "you dismantle me" tattooed on her arm (it's a JennySchecter quote) bought us a round of lemondrop shots and showed me photos of her dogs and cats on her pink cellphone? Or the SXSW Uh Huh Her experience, like, in general?
Gayer than the Tegan & Sara concert where I tried to tackle Carly and she allegedly almost died but in reality experienced an awesome brush with the supernatural possibility of death?
Truck Stop was totally disgusting but I had to stay like how I have to watch Intervention. Nearly naked girls did coreographed dances on the bar in bikinis. Ideally I'll never go there again, but realistically I probs will, because I love trucks.
The next night, in true form, I busted the OurChart-sponsored Lesbian Oil Wrestling event way early. Why? 'Cause I was ethically opposed to how The L Word stole this concept from a legitimately empowering Brooklyn-based event (the original focused on political satire and creating a safe space for women of all body types, classes and colors to play and fight) and turned it into a glossy sexy skinny white girls teevee-tied-in lesbian event. Other versions of this story claim I left the event early because I'm a bitch and/or cranky and/or impossible and/or unable to just have fun and be silly.Whatevs. Gay!
But really anytime you're in a room with Catherine Keener, Ilene Chaiken, Angela Robinson and Clementine Ford ... that's pretty gay. Like I could feel Ilene breathing (firetorches!!!).
So the 2. No on Prop 8 Rally deserves a shout-out. My gayest moment w/r/t the election was fo'sho the 8 Against 8 thing, but if I started including cyber-moments, it'd get out of control. The rally felt a little disjointed, but still -- it was something to be a part of, besides just screaming into machines, which is so much easier. To chant & yell with signs in public and physically feel the community, and about something important and unifying, is the most important gay moment of all.
Thinking about Prop 8 makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Owsers.
Ryan & I brilliantly chose a random B&B in the Catskills to get away from Sarah Lawrence for a weekend. The bus driver dropped us off and said we'd be miserable here without a car, even offered to take us elsewhere for free, but we'd already paid. It was a ghost town, just one Mexican restaurant, La Chacha or something, boarded-up houses and this particular B&B. Larry the owner concurred -- "if you'd told me you didn't have a car, I would've said not to stay here" -- as he gave us the house tour. I noticed the rainbow flag out back. Ryan (gay) didn't.
Breakfast confirmed my suspicions. So! Many! Gay! Couples! I was totes pursuing straighthood at the time, but I was the one who picked up on Larry's drop of "they're family" when speaking of certain snow-shoe-trail-blazing-mountain-hiking-leading-guiding-stores and far-away restaurants and subsequently pointed out to Ryan that in our attempt to avoid our friends' Fire Island weekend ("too gay"), we'd accidentally booked ourselves a weekend at a Gay B&B in the middle of assfuck nowhere, which is the gayest shit ever.
(we read books and wrote all weekend, it was perfect.) (gay!)
See, I don't like to go out. I like to have little gay moments right here in my room.
Last night I had a bunch of people over for The L Word premiere (we watch it ahead of time to ensure timely recaps) and two separate people said, upon entering my room (they'd never been in); "so this is where the magic happens." Really what magic. Besides the rabbit in the hat thing. If there is magic in this room I need to find it stat. I cleaned yesterday so I feel like it should've turned up then. Guess what I'm listening to? Tegan & Sara. Where's my wings.