autoerotic asphyxifunction negative 9 days from september 1st

Tinkerbell says: "Hi. This is Tinkerbell. This is the best 'zine I've ever read." ++Firstly, I'd like to share something very important with y'all. Someone inquired about our employment of the word "excitant." This word will become very important to you in approximately 1-3 months. I can't tell you why. But! Grasshopper, let me tell you where it comes from. In order to do this, we must "time travel" (if you will) to January 11th. 'Twas a younger time of cold snow-showers, multiple birthday parties, extensive L Word recaps, and many feelings. You remember. You were there, unless you're Bernie Mac or something ... well, I guess he was there, he's just not HERE to remember it. Anyhow, it wasn't that long ago. Okey dokey. ONWARD!

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Jan. 11th, 2008 From: Isabella To: Marielyn176

Hi, Marielyn

first of all compliment for the realization of this wonderful site.

I have discovered only 2 days ago and i have already read all about it.

The L world is amazing, well done, for me it rappresents freedom,love and friendship.

On the other side, the Lworld treats very important and realistic themes like homosexuality and adoption, but

otherwise it became at the same time funny, crazy and excitant.

I want to thank you for all news about the locations, the shooting, and news about Jennifer Beals I already found in.

I love her and the way she acts is fantastic and also all the cast of Lworld.

Thank you for your time...

I hope to receive some yours

Have a good 2008 and good luck for all....

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From: Marielyn176 To: Caitlin, Alex, Carly Fw: Congratulation!!!... I love freedom, love and friendship too!!!!

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From: Carly To: Riese, Caitlin, Alex Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... You seriously get the bessst emailsss. This is so great. Just curious, though ... what news about the locations, the shooting, and the Jennifer Beals are you giving out on your wonderful site, and where can I discover it too? I hope to receive some yours xoxo gossip girl

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From: Caitlin To: Carly, Riese, Alex Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... excitant? is that a new word or like exciting and excellent morphed. clearly she has a lot of feelings.

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From: Riese To: Caitlin, Carly, Alex Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... carly - i think i keep this information in the same place where I store my records of kate moening's comings-and-goings. cait- I like "rappresent." It's like a combination of rapping and representing, and I don't think I can do it because I'm white. alex- hi the way you all act is fantastic, xoxo gossip girl

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From: Alex To: Carly, Caitlin, Riese Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... I can't believe you never told me where Jennifer Beals was. Isabella knows and I don't?!? Why don't you ask one of your other girlfriends!? ...and also the cast of the Lworld. Marielyn... hi

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From: Caitlin To: Carly, Riese, Alex Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... i think actually the last line is the best. i hope to get some yours? really what does that even mean? clearly i am starting an l world blog immediately i need more emails like this in my life. maybe she's not even watching the same show as us, i mean she calls it the l world and says it's amazing, obvs she's confused on many levels.

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From: Carly To: Caitlin, Riese, Alex Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... obvs confused, fully. maybe she was watching flashdance?

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From: Riese To: Carly, Caitlin, Alex Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... Personally, I'm worried about the shooting. Is it going to be like the finale of Season Two of South of Nowhere? Also homosexuality is a lot of things, but it is definitely not realistic. Maybe she's talking about "The Anniversary Party"? Did you see that? Where everyone does acid or E or something and runs around in the bushes by the pool? J-Beals and Alan Cummings are in it. I'd like to bring this back around to next week, where we'll all be high on something and dancing around the pool (sorta) (theoretically) I financed the hell out of this realization of this site!!!?!?!?!?!?! xoxo marielyn

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from: Carly to: Caitln, Alex, Riese Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... financed the hell = easily one of my favorite things ever. i own the anniversary party and will bring it. i heart that film. - c.

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So there you have it. Isabella is our national hero. Back to the 'zine. Alex Vega, Number One Critter, has crafted my late-night randomness into an actual work of art. Clearly the poems are jokes and no one "gets" them, but regardless it's a really sweet and well done personal object. We've enjoyed putting it together and we'd like to share that enjoyment with you. The 'zine is offered on a sliding scale in the Auto-Store. I know all about sliding scales from when I used to go to Planned Parenthood all the time before I turned 18. But that's another story for another day. If you're a late borner unaware of the 'zine "thing," I truly do implore you to check out the world of 'zining. I feel the zineiverse, and its involvement with the Riot Grrl movement, is one of the most important, revolutionary and genuinely earnest kickass networks/initiatives ever to come out of this heartless bankrupt world where Cherie Jaffee won't run off and live in a rank love nest with an assistant hairdresser who's barely got her foot in the door. You know?++ tinkerbell loves auto-zine ++ ++ gonzo = also loves auto-zine wonders when lozo is gonna come pick him up because he is a gift for lozo from disneyworld ++ these are GOLDEN. literally. ++ Want a 'zine? They're so hot! ++ Alex wants me to tell you it took her 1.5 hours to make four of these. It's like the bespoke suits I read about in Esquire. Also Big Time Out: You guys. If you want a 'zine and can't afford it, just go the $5 route ("for anyone who's ever purchased auto-gear ever" -- I'm not fact-checking here), which almost covers shipping and paper. If you need to pay by snail mail, that's fine, get in touch. If you can't afford $5, just like - talk to me. Clearly I'm not in the business of blogging, or bad teevee recapping, or really life in general, to make money. If you've been reading this for any length of time, you're aware that I'd rather be in massive debt, barely employed and san-savings account than ever for one moment be stingy, selfish or greedy. I think generosity is the most attractive quality a human being can have. I prefer the first amendment to a 401K and I'm fully aware that I'm first worldian and I could be living in a hut in any number of African countries inhabited by poor people forced to kill each other over t-shirts. Instead, I live in Harlem, where people shoot each other over sneakers and iPods.

Anyway, enough about me. Any writer can tell you that writing is not a capitalist sport. There's no money in this game. That's why I'm going to join the Belarus rhythmic gymnastic team. It's gonna be AWESOME. Also, Alex is moaning at me right now about how much work went into the 'zines and that I'm selling our product short by offering it to anyone on a sliding scale. Also she's probably realizing that I will never have a savings account 'cause as soon as I get money I want to somehow give it away, and this is probably a depressing prospect. Good point. If you can afford full cost, I promise you it's worth it. Really, I just want everyone to be happy. Really, that's all I want. I want peanut butter, the ability to pay my bills, and for everyone to be happy. Except Ann Coulter, I hope she gets hit by a bus. Also, it would be cool if everyone bought a 'zine so that I could have more money in the bank and therefore more time to do this for free. I have weird dreams all the time, my people tell me I am silly and hit me on the head. Then I'm like, "Ouch!"

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quote: "I think the whole root of the matter lies in the fact that when a writer is young he feels somehow that what he is going to say is rather silly or obvious or commonplace, and then he tries to hide it under baroque ornament, under words taken from the seventeenth century writers; or, if not, and he sets out to be modern, then he does the contrary: he's inventing words all the time, or alluding to airplanes, railway trains, or the telegraph and telephone 'cause he's doing his best to be modern. Then as time goes on, one feels that one's ideas, good or bad, should be plainly expressed, because if you have an idea you must try to get that idea or feeling or that mood into the mind of the reader." (Jorge Luis Borges, Paris Review Interview)

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links: 1. One of my favorite writers Rachel Shukert asks: Are Jews to Aquatics what African-Americans are to Basketball? (@jewcy) 2. n+1 ventures into new waters with an article acknowleding the existence of the working class: Take It to the Street (@n+1) 3. Um, so. AfterEllen, in their dogged pursuit of hiring brand -new people other than me, have a fashion blogger!: Styled Out: A Boy in Girls' Clothing (@afterellen) 4. Still stoked for the Cho Show! A Comic Seeks Herself and Finds a New Series (@nytimes) AND My favorite blogger fourfour interviewed her for vh1! Yay! (@fourfour). 5. Will the recession suck for artists too? Can the economy possibly suck any more than it already does for artists? YES! YES IT CAN!: The Future of Banks and Art Giving (@portfolio) 6. Two from the guardian book blogs: If 'lesbian author' gets me publicity, than so be it and How Bestsellers chart the state of nations (@the guardian uk) 7. This is the kind of thing I find ridiculously interesting: Skirting the Issues: What do September's fashion magazines tell us about the economy? (@slate) 8. Sex and the Olympic City:I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point. (@the guardian uk) 9. Sorry I can't seem to not care about this and reaalllly especailly this!. 10. Look it's me and Caitlin's new apartment (@gizmodo)