Sunday, August 24, 2008

Sunday Top Ten: Way Back in the 90's, PART ONE

Prior to 2003, my little brother (Year Of Birth: 1984) was the youngest person alive. In '03, my boyfriend (YOB: 1983 -- alarmingly young, and the only youngster I'd ever dated) cheated on me with an '87-born girl who sported the AIM handle "AllyBoo," making HER the youngest person alive. Now, thanks to the internets, I know many young people, and it is a truth universally acknowledged that A;ex/Semicolon (YOB:1985555) is now the youngest person alive. I'd like to cite Stef, who recently addressed a young commenter (who didn't know about 'zines) with this: "Your profile says you were born in 1987, making you even younger than semicolon, so maybe you missed out on the golden age of the 'zine."

It's mind-boggling; all these young people who missed so many important things by only a few years. Change moves quickly these days, and Hav & I (high school class of '99) find even our Class of '01 friends don't know much about Angela Chase. Heartbreaking. Unfortunately, VH1's premature nostalgia ejaculations have covered our exclusive 90's nostalgia territory before we could -- not that I've seen 'em, but you know how I love reading about teevee.

See, I'm [really thinking about] packing [for moving] right now, which makes this week a prime-time for time travel, as I'm [sure I'll be] stumbling upon massive amounts of shit from the 90's that I've still got around. Why do I keep these things? I don't know. I mean! 'Cause I'll need this stuff when I write my book! And 'cause one day this photo of Claire Danes from Seventeen will be worth millions on the 'bay! I'm gonna do this in two parts. The second part is also exciting.

Sunday Top Ten PART ONE of TWO: Things From the 90's You Should Know About

10. Sassy Magazine
Last month I read How Sassy Changed my Life, it was a delightful trip down memory lane to the little teen dream magazine that couldn't. Sassy, designed to emulate the more subversive tone employed by Australian teen magazines, launched in 1989 and was a godsend to alternateen girls all over the nation. Drawing on an audience who felt alienated by the aggressive heterosexuality and blatant appearance-based commercialism exuded by women's magazines like Seventeen, Teen, YM and Mademoiselle, Sassy was ripped mercilessly from our tender teenaged hands in 1996, therefore creating the alienation that lead us all to do drugs, become gay and recycle. There's been nothing quite like it since -- though props to JANE (founded in '97, folded in '07) and ElleGirl (founded in '01, folded in '06) for trying.

9. The Aerosmith Alicia Silverstone Music Video Trifecta

Ostensibly, these videos were about a very hot heterosexual girl (Alicia Silverstone) driven to desperate measures (usually involving desert landscapes, babydoll dresses, boots and convertibles) by bad bad bad bad boys. Secretly, all these videos were about the intense burning lesbian love affair between Alicia Silverstone (Clueless) and Liv Tyler (Empire Records ... also, she's Steven Tyler's daughter). Alicia's first boyfriend (Cryin') drives her to fake her own suicide attempt, her second (Amazin') prematurely ejaculates and plays too many video games.

Which brings me to "Crazy." Can I call Alicia "Leesh"? Okay, I will. I can best explain the plot of "Crazy" to you IN RHYME/poem form. Or you can watch the video itself.
Leesh & Liv are too cool for school
little bitty plaid skirt shimmy out the window,
baby you can sleep while I ditch the sweater
'cause two girls with the top down is better.

Worldwide seduction tour, the wide world's free
shades at our fingers, pump up the car, look at me
if you can't beat 'em, you'll undress while I take their money.

Aerosmith likes its men perpetually thirteen & on bended knee
all wanting and objectifying every shiny-haired woman they see
I spy a young supple maiden in a short skirt & wisp of tiny tee
public display of patriarchal longing, I got a sinker if you've got a hook
[or a breathy screaming line] but who cares!? I mean, just look
at the way they look
at each other.

Leesh is in drag; suit tie & hat
Liv's stripping in white shiny pants
they win the contest, ditch the boys, hop on the bed,
drive through endless fields, sky kisses heads
sun-streaked skin and sex, money laughs, hair dashes,
baby you can rock while I roll.

7. 'Zines

'Zines, obvs: I've said enough about 'zines this week (in honour of our first auto-win zine). Howevs, the Auto-Insomnia 'zine is way better than my first attempt at 'zining in 1997. The contents of Lunette included an investigation of the word "fake," a story called "How Drinking Ruined our Clique," a My So-Called Life drinking game, my brother's column about life in middle school, suggestions of "What to Do When You're Bored" (e.g., go putt putt golfing, drive way out of town and find a restaurant you've never been to and eat there, go to the top of the parking structure & spit on people), photos from our trip Mexico, The Boy Hall of Fame (two friends and Gabriel Dameon from Newsies), and my favorite part -- "Our Research Project": "Since Marie has aol (America Online) and can type really fast, we went online and asked a gazillion people what they thought about teenagers. Only a few people were willing to talk to us though. If you want to email any of these people, don't tell them where you got their names from, it's confidential." Questions included, "did you live a childhood of innocence?" and "what do you think of The Spice Girls?"


6. My So-Called Life
It's really hard to communicate with people who've not seen this show. They cannot understand the depth & importance of statements like: "I just love the way he leans," and "you're so beautiful, it hurts to look at you." Luckily fourfour breaks it all down for you in this video. Howevs, if we're going to be friends in any meaningful way, just rent the DVDs, they only had one season, it's not gonna take forever. The cancellation of MSCL was our generation's Vietnam.

5. So, Back to UsUsUs

I believe the world can be divided into three kinds of people:
1. People who didn't get braces 'cause they didn't need 'em.
2. People who had braces for 2.5 or more years. (me)
2a. and headgear, rubber bands, etc.
3. People who had braces for less than 2.5 years.

Do kids still get braces? Are they clear? I don't know what's going on in the world anymore.

Anyhow, whether you did or didn't get braces -- if you're a blogger or a reader and you've got a photo of yourself modeling through any of the days between '94 and '97, e-mail it to me, tell me your commenter name (if you have one) or blog name and you just may appear in Segment Two of the Sunday Top Ten: Way Back in the 90's.
For Installment One of "Back in the 90's" I present THE AUTO-CREW!
sans Haviland, who claims she has no photos of herself taken
between her early youth and 2005.
Suspiciously, neither did The Girl on the Milk Carton.
No but really I'd like to bring this back around to why it's a good thing I cart everything with me everywhere, 'cause you never know when your BFF is gonna request an old photo of you from the 90's.

Send your 1994, 1995, 1996 or 1997 photos to


Anonymous said...

Mom: "Angela, orange juice doesn't grow on trees."
Angela: "It sort of does."

green said...

well i love you.

you know how in How Sassy Changed My Life, they mention choosing friends based on who did/didn't read Sassy? that's what i do w/ MSCL. that's what i think we should all do. in fact, that's why i think i'm here. now. with you.

how much will you be charging for your original 'zine? i have to save my paypal $$.

hey, i'm listening to UHH in my headphones right now. did you know that they're a real band?

Vashti said...

I feel like I've stepped in to The Land Before [My] Time. This might be because I'm younger than the young commenter that Stef pointed out the other day. The most I can say is that I've been legal for [almost] a whole year?

JUST SO YOU KNOW, my knowledge of the [early] 90s now rests solely on your shoulders. So, you know, no pressure.

mayginbigphun said...

caitlin!!! lurvvvvvvvvvvvvves it!!!

go stars!!!

The Spaz said...

I'm kind of scared of this topic, its making me feel old, I was born at the end of the '70's.

I remember buying that issue of Sassy with Kurt and Courtney on the cover...

Also thanks for reminding me of Get a Grip, I loved that album!

Anonymous said...

OMG. The nostalgia in here is nearly PAINFUL it's so acute (but, like, painful in a very good way, if that makes any sense whatsoever). I adore what you wrote about it being hard to communicate with people who are unfamiliar with "My S0-Called Life"; I think that series produced something akin to a secret emotional language, I think. Also, loving the "Sassy" at number ten, if only because a friend and I actually interned there when we were in college.

Cannot WAIT for part two!

eric mathew said...

yo yo.

i sent my picture to the autowin e-mail because I also had a follow up to the question I sent in to you and Stillwell.

I was like literally real effing scared of the girl on the mile carton... not sure why... i think i always felt i would end up like her.... jeepers!

the 90's were a super crazy time. i was preparing for my bar mitzvah in 99... and i moved back from Bermuda in '93... those were the days.

now in the 00's its just the crazy jew homo lifestyle.

anyway all your pics are totes adorable... yours seems like it could fit in any time period... who doesn't like a rugby shirt? carly = amazing. steph resembles idina a tad... caitlin i mean what's not to love? soccer and a smile. and semi, just adorable. she still has the usa pride.


gossip girl

a;ex said...

Are you gonna talk about Thriller? Come onnn pleeeease? Its the ONE thing I'm familiar with pre-198555 (Besides The Neverending Story.)

Maybe I understood Michael Jackson more than I understood Angela Chase... This worries me.

And I think that picture of me is more '95, but who cares, I'm playing with K'NEX - thats whats important.

Part Two - I'm excitant.

stef said...

i really want to express first and foremost that my hair in that picture is inspired probably 99% by alanis morissette, the only person in the whole world who really GETS me. however, the winner of the photo contest is hands down CARLY, with caitlin in a strong second place.

secondly, this is the greatest post of all time and i am def reliving the 90s right now. i am SO HAPPY about the alicia/aerosmith thing.

as i said earlier, i never subscribed to sassy - i just was. i guess nobody knew what it was or that i needed it? i think if i had that magazine i would have felt a lot better. now i'm obsessed with the idea of it.

Leah said...

I have feelings, and they are as follows:

I never bought Sassy. I was a BOP girl cuz I loved JTT and Rider Strong. Also, the cast of 90210, girls and boys alike. I guess I just wasnt an alternateen.
Kurt and Courtney were nowhere near my cuppa' tea yet...

I remember being attracted to the girls in the vids, but not knowing I was/knowing what that meant.

MSCL. I met my girlfriend 2 years ago, we moved in together 1 year ago, and as we were unpacking our new life together and placing it on shelves, out came her copy of the series on DVD. Love. Absolute Love.

I was born in 1980, compared to your (if my math is right) 1981. My braces were put on THE FIRST TIME at age 16, taken off at age 17.5. Clear, but still, I wanted no pics with them on, and have none. TIME #2 was from age 18-19.5. Embarassing to have them in college, and therefore, again, not 1 pic. All pics for those years were taken mouth-closed. Made sure of it. TIME #3 (no fucking way, right!) was last year when I thought Id be married to a lovely soldier Id known for years. They were on 6 months and then taken off, at my request, so I could move to Seattle with my true lesbian love. You guessed it. No pics. I guess every time and every year I had em, I was just too vain to reveal em. I envy kids/teens/adults with the confidence to cheese a big smile and not care...Moral of this story: Kids, wear your retainer!


NEP said...

omg i'm obsessed with this top 10. i la-la-loved spot conlon and listened to the newsies soundtrack so many times that the tape got all warbled and sounded like creepy funhouse music by the time i was done with it.

some things semi and post '85ers (maybe) missed out on: trapper keepers, snap bracelets, pogs, frequent usage of the word "psyche!", californiaaaaa dreams (surf dudes with attitudes), and troll doll mania.

also (these are late 80s and therefore borderline 90s things but nevertheless totes AMAZING): anything ghostbusters (specifically massive consumption of ECTO COOLER), pudding pops and troop beverly hills.

i looked through some of my old photos from the 90s but all of the gems are (thankfully) in the deep recesses of my parents' house.

i'm gonna go find my starter jacket now and skip-it in front of the TV while i watch salute your shorts.

cookies said...

Er.. I'm wearing braces.
This just in: Yes, they still make braces. In London anyway.

Reading this whole post made me feel very young. Seriously. I'm 17.. at least I will be in four days.

Part 2 please :D, and and a pic of H in Doc Martins- they're from the 90's right?


asher said...

so i just looked at my facebook page to see what old pictures i could dig up. then i did the math and the ones from sooo long ago were probably taken around 2001.

so now i feel young. because during the 94-97 era, i was 10-13. i'll find a proper photo shortly.

dave lozo said...

Carly hasn't changed one bit.

Anonymous said...

Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Just saying, haha.

Crystal said...

All of those photos are adorable.

I'm not really familiar with anything listed in this blog. It's either because I was born in 1984 or because I spent most of my adolescence living under a rock. Who knows. Maybe I'll have better luck with Part Two.

Lex said...

Wheee first time commenting.

Anyways I was born in 86, but i watched My So Called Life, due to my mother making me watch it, because what 8 year old doesn't love teen angst. I really didn't care. After watching it years later I understand why it was awesome.

autumn m said...

no way someone couldnt know about zines. idiot! ok. no really though i was born in 86, not proud of that. it makes me older than all my friends. but it is good to know im not the youngest person here anymore. i have heard of my so called life but never watched it. i did like new kids on the block. i was really young though. i also had braces for 2 years,but never wore my retainer. i did have a snap braclet! if you graduated in 99 was only in like the 7th grade or something! im a proud graduate of 05!

Mr. Darkbloom said...

one time in the 90's I bought an issue of Seventeen just b/c Alicia Silverstone was on the cover. I pretended it was for my non-existent sister to avoid the whole "why is this 19 year-old guy buying this" look from the check out girl.

When I was done watching the first episode of My so-called Life (on that epic Thursday that I remember like it was yesterday) I called the mother of the girl I was dating to let her know there was a show on tv that would educate her in the ways of her smart and complicated 17 year old daughter. I think fondly of the days of dating my own personal angela chase.

A. said...

Ahahaha those pictures are amazing. Tweety Bird is really patriotic.

I had a ridiculously deep discussion/debate with co-workers the other day as to why I think 1994 = the best year yet. I don't remember most of my points, but I did get one guy to come onto my GO 1994! side at the end.

Oh aaaand... don't call Alicias "Leesh". On behalf of us, just don't do it. I have a few friends that call me "Leash" and everytime they do I die a little inside. Maybe it's just me.

basia said...

i feel like half of the reason i have no idea what most of these things are is that i was born in 84 and the other half is that i lived in eastern europe til 94... liv tyler's ass in that video kinda turned me on.

Mercury said...

In the 90s I was subscribed to a feminist girls' magazine entitled "New Moon." I saved them all, I think. The cover art was sent in by girls who subscribed - depictions of 'Luna', who was also who you wrote in to for advice etc. They'd have articles about being a girl in another part of the world and standing up for your beliefs and stuff.

Thinking about it now, that magazine totally shaped me.

Oh, FYI...

BORN IN '90, right here.

Vashti's probably even older than me.

oh, and:

some things semi and post '85ers (maybe) missed out on: trapper keepers, snap bracelets, pogs, frequent usage of the word "psyche!", californiaaaaa dreams (surf dudes with attitudes), and troll doll mania.

I remember all of these things. In a vague fuzzy way like you remember things from when you were tiny, but I still remember them. Like I'm still not completely sure what a trapper keeper is but it definitely sounds familiar. It's like a folder or something, right?

Vashti said...

Oooh Mercury, I'm just barely older than you. October of '89. And yes, I'd like to say that I too remember trapper keepers, snap bracelets, pogs, "psyche!" [I *still* use it.. a lot?], surfer dudes, and troll dolls [def had some].

autumn m said...

...and who is this Angela Chase? is she like your god or something? did people in the 90's worship her or something?

carlytron said...

omg POGS! good call, nep, i was soooo into pogs.

lozo: ouch. and also, true.

i totally win the photo contest you guys. i totally painfully horribly awesomely win.

another thing, if you're from the tri-state area, you might remember the ORIGINAL 106.3 FM. I grew up listening to it and it was bought out and totally reformatted when I went to college. I was crushed. it entirely informed my music tastes throughout the most formative years of my life.

all i have to add is as follows:

1. empire records, clueless, reality bites, dazed and confused, some kind of wonderful.
2. TNBC! best saturday morning programming lineupppp!
3. i love this post.

NEP said...

carlytron: omg i had the sickest collection of pogs and slammers, but never wanted to actually PLAY anyone for fear of having to lose any.

also, i feel you re: the orig 106.3 -- i used to keep my tape queued up and tape HOURS of radio. i remember when i came home from college and it had turned into 106.3 the river or some shit and i cried.

if part 2 comes out next wknd, i could def get a hold of some photos that would give your 90s shot a run for its money.

Dave "Boy Shorts" Lozo said...

Ever see that SNL skit with Phil Hartman and he just calls everyone sassy? It's funny.

Anyway, Carly doesn't look anything like that picture, hence the joke. Oh, and is it zine or zeen? How do you pronounce it?

stef said...

ohh remember radio stations??!??! when they were good?!

i got all my music taste from z100! that's where i heard all the britpop and grunge i first fell in love with, as well as nicki french's dance cover of 'total eclipse of the heart.'

and also LOVE PHONES. omg. please tell me someone else remembers this. back in sixth grade (uhh 1995?) it blew my fragile little mind.

although when i was like 6 i remember listening to a lot of 105.1 and being OBSESSED with the fine young cannibals' 'she drives me crazy.' that was the first song i was ever obsessed with. true story.

listening to it RIGHT NOW.

however that is a late 80s thing, from before alex vega, autumn, vashti and mercury were potty trained.

and lozo, it's zine like the last syllable of magazine... i guess zeen then.

.elida. said...

omg im the same age as semicolon! awesome. and i totally remember all the stuff that nep mentioned. Also, taping stuff off of the radio was basically all I did every day after school. started my own 'zine that lasted maybe three issues in middle school.

i remember my cousin introducing me to Nirvana that he had taped off the radio. He insisted that I learn all the words to "All Apologies". He was so upset when Kurt Cobain died. he walked around in a dress all day looking very, very sad.

also of note: "Dangerous Minds" (AND the soundtrack) Alanis Morisette's "Jagged Little Pill". and i loved Sister Act 2 probably more that I should've.

ps: loved this entry.

Jo said...

I was born in '87, but I am very familiar with everything mentioned here. However, I also have an older brother, born in '84, who I worshiped. He was into Pogs and had a trapper keeper, therefore they were the coolest things ever in my eyes.

Also, A;ex- impressive K'nex structure! I never made anything that big or complex with my set (a hand-me-down toy of the brother's)

El N said...

I'm a little too oldish to comment on the 90s as a time of youth and innocence (given that it was more about vice and prurient pursuits for me) BUT I would totally wear a
Team Carly tshirt if one were made with that picture. It is priceless in the best way possible.

Haviland Stillwell said...

I actually didn't know what zines were...I remember seeing that list they did on the best ones in Sassy, but I truly don't remember. The picture that is sorely missing from this blog is lil' Haviland. circa '92, at Disneyworld, in a bright red Blossom hat, on the "cover" of Sassy. No clue where that would be...

cookies said...

and ninja turtles, power rangers, walkmans and those luminous curly shoelaces!

back when Goosebumps actually scared me (okay maybe cause I was a pussy)

and one more thing! I had one of those Furbie or Furby things with those huge eyes and it was fucking freaky.

asher said...

okay, just stumbled across this. autofun for you!

meet tavi, the style rookie.
this is her blog.
she is twelve. and probably cooler than i will ever be. and to make it appropriate, she loves the 80s.

i'd say she's a Sassy girl. and she was born after the publication had ceased to exist. so it goes.

(oh and i just read your anthology bit in INTERLUDE magazine. you can find it online at arlan's site.)

Anonymous said...

My So-Called Life, Clueless, Reality Bites, and Kurt Cobain sum up my 90s experience.

I vaguely remember Alicia Silverstone pronounces her name like ah-lee-see-ah not ah-leesh-ah. It might be a figment of my imagination. Clearly this is srs bzns, Riese.

green said...

oh, tavi...

it was really only a matter of time before she was brought up, wasn't it?

riese said...

hello commenters! it is me, tinkerbell. unfortunately riese is having a rough night, so i'll be stepping in for her and providing comment responses. please forgive me, i was born in 2008. Luckily I have a good memory of all things that happened before that time in the world.

1. hello anonymous, this is tinkerbell. I agree about the orange juice on the trees. I hear that oranges grow in the tropics, I learned that on 3-2-1 Contact in the 80's.

2. hello green, this is tinkerbell. i love you more than words can say. I read Sassy and I watched MSCL, which is why Riese, my favorite person in the whole world besides Obama '08 and Littlefoot, is my friend, and why you are also my friend. I must find a copy of the zine which posesses the key article regarding the drinking of marie's clique. Unfortunately I can only find the censored copy which she made for her Mom, which features in its place a xerox of some tokens of her trip to mexico.

Uh Huh Her is my number one band.

3. hello vashti, this is tinkerbell. i hope you have been drinking this year. if i were to be a researcher of the 90's i would begin with clueless which is one of my favorite films.

4. hello meghan. i hope you're as happy as you sound in this comment.

5. hello the spaz, this is tinkerbell. if you still have that copy you could sell it on the bay. i also love get the grip, it is one of my favorite albums for private sexy time with littlefoot.

6. hello atherton. this is tinkerbell. I cannot wait for you to tell me about your internship at sassy. riese interned at usweekly once but she quit because it did not have a soul. riese is jealous of your internship. she had an interview at jane but her shoe broke.

7. hello eric mathew. it is me, tinkerbell, your number one fan object. when riese gets up off the ground where she is crying into a bath towel, she will look at your picture as i am hoping it will be delightful like the other ones. riese had her bat mitzvah in 1994, which makes her ancient. i love alex's usa pride. who does not love tweety bird? not not me. i do love tinkerbell.

8. hello a;ex. we've had good times tonight together you and me. unforunatenly i have bad news for you. thriller happened in the 1980's, and this post is about the 1990's. I am sorry for that. However good work with the KNEX.

9. hello stef. this is tinkerbell. we've also had good times tonight. i have weird feelings about alanis morisettte but i think you look quite lovely in that photograph. also the lighting is nice. if marie ever gets off the floor and stops throwing books at alex, she will re-start sassy. i feel she can do it if she wants to.

10. hello leah this is tinkerbell. i also think JTT is a hunk I watched hm because of that. He also looks like a girl. I feel boys are not as cute these days as they were then. I believe Riese didn't know what that meant either. That is true love for sure about MSCL, that is what happened with me and littlefoot when I saw that he had Anamaniacs on DVD. I believe you possibly should've gone to a different orthodontist.

Riese took off her retainer in 1999 and now her teeth look terrible.

11. Hello nep. This is Tinkerbell. Spot Conlon is a dream for sure, I enjoy dancing to the tunes of the Newsie's soundtrack. On my Trapper Keeper I liked to put words with puffy pants. Riese once owned 500 trolls and thought they were real. I believe in retrospect this was the beginning of the end. also sometimes i have nightmares from ghostbusters. Camp Anawana I hold you in my heart.

12. Hello cookies. This is Tinkeberbell. I like braces because of the shine and sparkle they add to the mouth of a nice lady. Is H for Haviland? Haviland is an android who has no photos she says. I don't know but I love her just the same.

13. hello asher. this is tinkerbell. It is okay as before 94, I was a fetus. You can please send the photos anyway. If I can get Riese off the roof, she will be posting again this year before the 90's happen again. I do not understand time entirely but I think this will happen.

14. hello dave lozo. this is tinkerbell. i believe carly is slightly more smokin' hot now. Riese LOL'ed when she read your comment.

15. hello burningsteady this is tinkerbell. i also love jonathan taylor thomas as I said before because of his girlish locks of shimmery hair.

16. hello crystal. this is tinkerbell. this is not related to your comment but i want you to know you are my most favorite person of all of the persons i know of besides littlefoot. also a;ex is being a trooper tonight. I will not call her colon.

17. hello lex. this is tinkerbell. riese if she was typing would say "hello! thanks for reading and commenting!" your mother is very special and i love her on many levels.

18. hello autumn m. this is tinkerbell. if you are older than your friends you should crush their faces in. i also do enjoy the nkotb and am looking forward to their new album which will release later. by 2005, riese was already heading valiantly down a road of no good returns.

19. hello mr. darkbloom. this is tinkerbell. firstly i am a trisexual and love littelfoot but i agree that silverstone was very beautiful in the movie clueless with the skirts and the lingo. i beleive that the check out girl knew what you were up to because women are very intuitive. riese wanted to be angela chase. sometimes she still is. i should be talking about you and not about rieserieseriese mr.darkbloom. i apologize for this. back to you. you are a smart man and i hope your girlfriend understood that you are special.

20. hello a. this is tinkerbell. when you think of your points please do tell. I am all about going. I believe Riese was attempting to shorten "Alicia" to "Leesh" because of her intense attention to syllables. However I also do not like leashes. Once I had a leash and now I do not.

21. hello basia. this is tinkerbell. you were born in 1984 and therefore you are older than semicolon. i think it must be the eastern europe.

22. hello mercury. this is tinkerbell. I do recall the new moon magazine because it reminded me also of stone soup. there were lovely paintings on the magazine and girls of all colors and sizes. you are so young you are like a flower of youth. a trapper keeper is, i believe, where the california boys kept the traps they used to seduce the women.

23. hello again vashti! i do not know of these pogs. i will slap your bracelet. please be sure to wear a helmet.

24. hello dear autumn this is tinkerbell. anglea chase is my god. had i been alive in the 90s I would have worshipped her and no false idols.

25. hello carlytron. this is tinkerbell, the dog that you kicked out of your special party. it is fine. because you are so beautiful in the 90s I will forgive you. Also I do like the glasses. You win the contest. Your photo made Riese smile just to think of it. riese if she ever speaks or writes again will surely be speaking of the films which you mention. liv tyler is so lovely. i like to spend saturday mornings in bed with my true love littlefoot. littlefoot is a dinasour who does not love me like i love him, but we still find each other special. love is beautiful, and posts for scratching and special private time.

26. hello nep. this is tinkerbell. perhaps you are in luck because riese might not write part two 'til next week. I like runs and money and hours of radio.

27. hello boy shorts lozo again this is tinkerbell again. i have not seen the skit because i cannot see the teevee. that is why it is funy lozo i understand your joke we see eye to eye perhaps also you are also a stuffed dog.

28. hello stef this is tinkerbell. my favorite radio station is NPR. which alex has never heard of. i find this troubling and sad but I forgive her.

total eclipse of the heart was a lovely song and i liked it so very much. i still love it. i also love the eclipse though i have not seen it and therefore love it mostly in theory.

29. hello .;edlida this is tinkerbell. you and semicolon are the same age, that is good luck for both you and for semicolon who owns littelfoot but will not bring him over. one time riese recorded mariah carey off the radio. i also like kurt cobain and beleive his death will be covered in the next installment.

nobody loves sister act or sister act 2 quite like carly loves sister act just fyi. that is what she is smiling about in her photograph.

30. hello jo this is tinkerbell. riese's younger brother lewis was born in 1984 like george orwell wrote about in his book by the name 1984. the coolest things in my eyes are also knex and semicolon.

31. hello el n this is tinkerbell i believe from my deepest souls and hearts that your t-shirt idea is the most. also i believe that you were probably very innocent in the 90s.

32. hello haviland stillwell this is tinkerbell. I am going to put a photograph of Six from Blossom on the blog and say that it is you. I do love a good Blossom hat.

33. hello cookies. this is tinkerbell. i still do not know about the pogs or this sort of thing with the pogs but i liked the brown shoes with the little curly shoelaces. this boy i loved wore his shoes that way. I do not know what furbies are but it sounds like something I might have a crush on.

34. hello asher. this is tinekerbell. mostly i am pleased to find out about riese's article as she did not even know of this! i find this so excitant! i will tell her to look at that site when she gets off her bed where she is currently staring at the ceiling.

35. hello anonymous. this is tinkerbell. are you riese in disguise? because that was also her 90s experience. alicia can pronounce her name however she likes it because i tinkerbell give her the tinkerbell seal of approval.

36. hello green. this is tinkerbell. oh yes things are matters of time!

autumn m said...

i never knew any other stuffed animals could talk, other than my u.s. army lieutenant mr. teddy. what a world

Anonymous said...

Hello Tinkerbell! I am so pleased to finally make your acquaintance; you are adorable and I love you! Sassy was one of the more coveted internships in Scary Larry's Career Counseling Center, so I was majorly psyched to get one of them. Mine was a floating position, so I got to work with staff in editorial, art, production, and advertising. The atmosphere was so much fun and so many shades of awesome that I decided to make the magazine industry my career...until the next year when I interned at Interview and found out that Sassy's fun atmosphere was more of an exception in the industry than a general rule. But I wouldn't have traded it for anything. AND OMG tell Riese I feel her pain about Jane and the broken shoe; I once botched an interview with The Penguin Group because I had a scorching case of conjunctivitis during the interview! Sad face.

MoonKiller said...

I was born in 1991 so I missed a lot. All I remember is The Spice Girls and Cool Runnings.

Thanks to VH1 Classics I am familiar with that Aerosmith video and my sister likes to sing it at the top of her voice when I'm trying to sleep.

Photo coming your way fo'sho.

dewey said...

What fun i miss out on when the monkeys at sony have my laptop!

I was born in '89 and like to make a point of the fact I was born in the 80s, all be it for 27 days.

POGs were by far the best thing in the 90s. I was never actually allowed to buy any but my brothers collected them and I just use to steal theres. Also for all the British 90s kids, Live and Kicking and SMTV making saturday mornings worth getting up for!?

Mercury said...

Hi tinkerbell!

Tell Riese, that I hope she feels better soon, and that I love her, please. Also give her a hug for me.

the flower of youth

Vashti said...

Hi Tinkerbell!

Hate to break it to you but I have not been drinking this year. When I said legal I didn't mean drinking legal. =[ But hey! I'm off to college in a month so everything can change change change.

Also, I already wear a helmet because life is tough. I don't know why you want me to wear one though...?

Love and vodka tonics,

Lexi said...

Thanks Tinkerbell! Yes my mother is very special. She has taught me many important lessons in life like the fact that it doesn't matter how short your skirt is as long as you wear cute underwear and also that jelly donuts can be a sexual preference.

jordan c. l. said...

i decided this morning it was more important to read this thread than the 100 come pages i still have left to finish for my second day of classes which starts in about 26 minutes.

i was right!

<3 itsthejeans

jordan c. l. said...

also i LOVED Face On The Milk Carton and all the books to follow. There was a part where Jane/ Janie/ Jayne rols around in the leaves with that boy. I 6th-7th grade... that was all I needed. Turns out pushing boys into the leaves is still all I need. Who knew!

jordan c. l. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lesbianist said...

ah, zines! i wrote a zine all through high school - super embarrassing to read now.