Monday, June 16, 2008

It's YOUR Chance to Auto-Win Some! SWEEPSTAKES! :: And Auto-Fun! :: 6-16-2008

Happy Bloomsday, everybody! Yes, today is the day that James Joyce wrote about in his famous book "Ulysses," which I haven't read and probably never will. It's also my brother Lewis Bernard's 24th birthday. In order to best celebrate this momentous occasion as well as the launch of the Auto-Win Book Club, I'm giving you (yes, you! ALL OF YOU!) the chance to win a free copy of the book club's first selection (if you already own it, you can select a substitute prize of auto-gear or the Book Club's second book or a date with Lozo) ... it's super easy, so listen up:

1. Send an email to "," with a BCC or CC to The title of the email must be "Happy Birthday Lewnard."
2. There will be two prizes awarded: one will be selected at random from everyone who completed the mission, probs pulled out of a hat by one of my unpaid interns/personal assistants.
The second will be selected based on overall creativity and genius displayed in your birthday wishes. For example:
- Animated gifs
- Clever wordplay/poetry
- E-greetings of some sort that might make his computer explode
- Anything involving an e-greeting for a different occasion, but tailored for the birthday situation
- Creative photoshopping
- Any photos or other images
- Music
3. If you choose a format which won't allow you to send it to multiple recipients, then just forward it to me.
4. If you don't have time for anything creative, just say Happy Birthday and send it off, you'll still have a shot at love with Tila Tequila and a shot at winning a book/whatevs and contribute to my delight, re: Lewis's inbox today.
5. You have until midnight on June 16th (today) to complete this mission. If you live in Australia, that means you've got 'til 2 P.M. on the 17th. Late submissions are accepted, but not encouraged.
6. Some extraneous information about Lewis: he lives in New Orleans, he is very tall, he is 100% heterosexual, his car uses diesel, he's an engineer, he thinks I'm crazy, and we have very similar senses of humour.

Even if you don't want to win a book, you should do it anyway 'cause I LOL'ed just thinking about it. If you're my 3-D friend, you're pretty much obligated to do this. Too busy you say? So am I!

As for the book club, I've done some research and discovered that Junot Diaz's The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, due to its bestseller status, is usually about the same price as a paperback anyhow, and there are used copies available, the library, etc.

Try for price comparisons of various online outlets. You've got about 7-10 days to get your hands on this book while I figure out what a Book Club is.

It will involve team meetings, as the book is being read. These will be very exciting and involve strategy development, watch out! Read fast!

The First Auto-Win Book Club Book Is:

Why this selection? It's the only list book I know fo'sho is legit genius (it won the Pulitzer), no one spoke out against it & everyone wants to read it. LK's already started! I'll pick something more specifically special (maybe from the same list) next time.

I'm guessing the "Finish Date" for the book will be mid to late July. I don't know exactly what'll happen in the meantime (team meetings!) but I'll have a few more ways for you to get the book this week.

This contest though is the only one for sure I know I'll do, 'cause I just did it!

I wrote a Sunday Top Ten, read it after you read "Ulysses" and e-mail Lewis.

quote"Andy [Warhol] saw the world through different-colored glasses, ones that we will never imagine. He was fortunate but tortured. Torture of his kind seems to plague all great artists because of their vision. They see deeper, they think deeper, and they translate their ideas from the mundane to the realistic. Not that there will ever be anything realistic about Andy's vision. It will never be conceived as mundane or realistic -- only poetic, and visionary, and mind-blowing." (Elizabeth Taylor)

1. How to Nap. (
2. Also, you can rent one from enterprise for $25/day. (@lifehacker)
3. The Tonys happened. (@nytimes)
4. If the photos turn you on, just buy a vibrator! (@street carnage)
5. Lit 101 Class in Three Lines Or Less. Great Gatsby: "I love being rich and white." (@mcsweeny's)
6. It's all about the list: How We Read Online. (@slate)
7. Oregon Trail is somehow not included on this list, I don't know why. (@nerve-61fps)
8. NEA finds California tops in artists. Or, "artists."? (@latimes)
9. Rich points out that Tila Tequila "really is the stupidest person to have been given a public platform in some time.." Also, watch the video ... Kathy Griffin's facial expression is priceless. (@fourfour)
10. Poem: Slow Drag Blues, by Kevin Young. (@the new yorker)


John Barleycorn said...

Turns out Ulysses isn't that great. I couldn't even finish it. Stupid, sexy book.

cao said...

I don't comment that often or at all really. But as a avid reader of this blog, I'm kind of overly happy to a book club reader/member. So it's off to the bookstore for me. thanks for filling my day off with something to do.

caitlin said...

you and i are going to have a team meeting about this book club situation. also, happy birthday brother bernard! holler

Leah said...

tee-hee...your brother just replied to my email. I feel like a girl getting a letter from a hunky celeb!

chaitee said...

Holy shit, team meetings. This bookclub idea just gets better and better.

a;ex said...

Dammit LK! That's not fair dude, you're gonna finish the book tomorrow and I didn't even get it yet.

Wait, I have a question about the rules of Fight Club, I mean Book Club:
When the "due date" for the book comes, is that when we nerd out and have a team meeting and discuss?

Cause I'd really like people to not give away things before I finish it.

My high school english teachers would be so proud of me right now.

p.s. Happy Birthday Lewis Bernard!

Dave Lozo said...

the date is not valid if you don't put out before the date.

LK said...

Alex: I may be ahead of the game but I'm no spoiler. Would a re-read make you feel more on pace? Dueling graphic designer Pulitzer-lit nerds. Ha.

Lozo: Isn't putting out before the date a little fast? Dude, keep the testosterone a little veiled, no?

Natalie J. said...

Looking forward to this book club.

I was thinking of trying to join one that was a bit more physical and less on the internet, but real people make me grouchy and so this is the best idea anyone's had in a long time. I don't have to really interact with anyone! I'll drink to that!

Bridget said...

I haven't commented in months but I can't wait for the book club. I just placed a hold at my local library.

(Australian) Bridget

dorothy said...

I am totally in. This is very exciting.

riese said...

First off I'd like to tell all of you about the word "excitant." It's from a fan e-mail I got from someone in Italy once who was struggling with English ("The L world is amazing, well done, for me it rappresents freedom,love and friendship. On the other side, the Lworld treats very important and realistic themes like homosexuality and adoption, but otherwise it became at the same time funny, crazy and excitant.."), and we've incorporated it into our daily dialogue.

john - that's all the counter-endorsement I need! Thanks!

cao - you're welcome! yay for being excitant!

caitlin - yeah let's have a team meeting stat 'cause I need to get in touch with Diaz's people.

leah - he IS a hunky celeb!

chaitee - I know! I love it! I've had a spring in my step all day!

a;ex - you can speed-read like you did last week, you've got it in you. we'll have team meeting check-ins, don't worry i'll explain everything after i have a team meeting with caitlin.

dave lozo - that's not true you guys, you don't have to put out.

lk - oh hm, neither of these are to me, so let's roll ...

natalie j - me too! other people make me grouchy too. this'll be easier on the eyes and the senses.

bridget - yay! i can't wait either!

dorothy - it is! excitant, even!

Crystal said...

I'm really excited about your book club, I'm going to try and participate.

I'm glad you threw in that late submission clause after so kindly working out the time difference, 'cause it's now 2:10pm in Australia and I'm a little past deadline. Okay, gtg and write an email.

jld said...

Auto-Win book club idea is so FETCH!! I'm not so much of a book reader. Let me just tell you it's been forever ever. So i'm excited or excitant for something different YAY!!

Battlestar Luna said...

Mr. Junot Diaz @ Borders Live

MoonKiller said...

Cause it's no longer monday and late submissions are not encouraged can I not autowin anything? Even if I have a great excuse? See, yesterday I finished my exams and compulsory education forever and therefore I felt it was my duty as a human to camp out and drink more than my body weight in alcohol and had I entered it would've been creative genius considering my state.

Also, lalalalalalove Edie Sedgwick.

Also, I am excitant about Auto-Win Book Club fo'reals.

riese said...

just briefly, re: moonkiller -- yeah totally you can still win something, since chances are I won't actually make a judgment (after close advisement with Lewis) 'til way late tonight. So go for it. As a perpetual latecomer, I feel it's only fair I give myself a chance.

Chloe said...

i'm totes into the book club idea. i need at least 3 good books to read for the next week while i lay on the beach drinking cute fruity drinks with umbrella's, and this is now one of them.

also, there is a facebook group called "vega and the harlots"...thought you should be aware.

Anonymous said...