It's YOUR Chance to Auto-Win Some! SWEEPSTAKES! :: And Auto-Fun! :: 6-16-2008

Happy Bloomsday, everybody! Yes, today is the day that James Joyce wrote about in his famous book "Ulysses," which I haven't read and probably never will. It's also my brother Lewis Bernard's 24th birthday. In order to best celebrate this momentous occasion as well as the launch of the Auto-Win Book Club, I'm giving you (yes, you! ALL OF YOU!) the chance to win a free copy of the book club's first selection (if you already own it, you can select a substitute prize of auto-gear or the Book Club's second book or a date with Lozo) ... it's super easy, so listen up:

1. Send an email to "Lewnard@gmail.com," with a BCC or CC to automatic_win@yahoo.com. The title of the email must be "Happy Birthday Lewnard."
2. There will be two prizes awarded: one will be selected at random from everyone who completed the mission, probs pulled out of a hat by one of my unpaid interns/personal assistants.
The second will be selected based on overall creativity and genius displayed in your birthday wishes. For example:
- Animated gifs
- Clever wordplay/poetry
- E-greetings of some sort that might make his computer explode
- Anything involving an e-greeting for a different occasion, but tailored for the birthday situation
- Creative photoshopping
- Any photos or other images
- Music
3. If you choose a format which won't allow you to send it to multiple recipients, then just forward it to me.
4. If you don't have time for anything creative, just say Happy Birthday and send it off, you'll still have a shot at love with Tila Tequila and a shot at winning a book/whatevs and contribute to my delight, re: Lewis's inbox today.
5. You have until midnight on June 16th (today) to complete this mission. If you live in Australia, that means you've got 'til 2 P.M. on the 17th. Late submissions are accepted, but not encouraged.
6. Some extraneous information about Lewis: he lives in New Orleans, he is very tall, he is 100% heterosexual, his car uses diesel, he's an engineer, he thinks I'm crazy, and we have very similar senses of humour.

Even if you don't want to win a book, you should do it anyway 'cause I LOL'ed just thinking about it. If you're my 3-D friend, you're pretty much obligated to do this. Too busy you say? So am I!

As for the book club, I've done some research and discovered that Junot Diaz's The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, due to its bestseller status, is usually about the same price as a paperback anyhow, and there are used copies available, the library, etc.

Try allbookstore.com for price comparisons of various online outlets. You've got about 7-10 days to get your hands on this book while I figure out what a Book Club is.

It will involve team meetings, as the book is being read. These will be very exciting and involve strategy development, watch out! Read fast!

The First Auto-Win Book Club Book Is:

Why this selection? It's the only list book I know fo'sho is legit genius (it won the Pulitzer), no one spoke out against it & everyone wants to read it. LK's already started! I'll pick something more specifically special (maybe from the same list) next time.

I'm guessing the "Finish Date" for the book will be mid to late July. I don't know exactly what'll happen in the meantime (team meetings!) but I'll have a few more ways for you to get the book this week.

This contest though is the only one for sure I know I'll do, 'cause I just did it!

I wrote a Sunday Top Ten, read it after you read "Ulysses" and e-mail Lewis.

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quote"Andy [Warhol] saw the world through different-colored glasses, ones that we will never imagine. He was fortunate but tortured. Torture of his kind seems to plague all great artists because of their vision. They see deeper, they think deeper, and they translate their ideas from the mundane to the realistic. Not that there will ever be anything realistic about Andy's vision. It will never be conceived as mundane or realistic -- only poetic, and visionary, and mind-blowing." (Elizabeth Taylor)

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links:
1. How to Nap. (@boston.com)
2. Also, you can rent one from enterprise for $25/day. (@lifehacker)
3. The Tonys happened. (@nytimes)
4. If the photos turn you on, just buy a vibrator! (@street carnage)
5. Lit 101 Class in Three Lines Or Less. Great Gatsby: "I love being rich and white." (@mcsweeny's)
6. It's all about the list: How We Read Online. (@slate)
7. Oregon Trail is somehow not included on this list, I don't know why. (@nerve-61fps)
8. NEA finds California tops in artists. Or, "artists."? (@latimes)
9. Rich points out that Tila Tequila "really is the stupidest person to have been given a public platform in some time.." Also, watch the video ... Kathy Griffin's facial expression is priceless. (@fourfour)
10. Poem: Slow Drag Blues, by Kevin Young. (@the new yorker)