Tuesday, April 18, 2006

You're Working on Building a Mystery: The Week "Weird/Of Course" Was Born

So, I'm usually not into things like nature and the solar system, unless it involves making out under the stars, or something. Just kidding. I'm one of those people who would start laughing and ruin the moment. ["Marie, you really have a way of ruining a moment." --Matty, during a beautiful moment that I ruined.], but something is in the fucking stars, people.

You come out at night, that's when the energy comes

Um, but first of all? This's Lo's photo of the sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth, and that's Adam's thumb up Brit's ass. I think this's why I live in Williamsburg, to get a phone call from around the corner: "You've gotta come check this out!"



She told him later: Don't call me and ask me to look out the window. That's a little freaky, you know.

But it was the full moon. That does weird things to everyone.

This is It's a Small World, multiplied by Google Plex, complimented by a bit of Crazy.

But I don't have a hold on what is real

I've never googled Ryan before. I'm fairly certain that the skin of his palms composes a significant portion of the surface area preventing my heart from bursting into air, so the idea that he existed in "cyberspace" never really seemed proper. But, at 3 A.M. on Friday, following several hours of google searching for things I actually needed, I was somehow compelled to google him and, surprisingly, found a photo, and then, even odder: five hours later, he emails me.

You strip away the ugliness that surrounds me ...

And then, John, a high school boyf.....

[Who I thought of often recently because I have a new friend Haviland who also acts and also lived in Atlanta and also did theater there......

who, coincidentally, was NYU and post-NYU roommates with another Interlochen grad,
and grew up in the same area as this girl Lucy, who also attended Interlochen,
and last year I ran into Lucy twice within 24 hours ... never before, never again ... which was weird in and of itself, especially since one of those times I was in Sarabeth's, and Natalie and I were hungover and in baseball caps and she was engaged and groomed and wearing pastels.....]

... calls later this same night, after not calling for 6 months.

memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

Another friend from Atlanta who I haven't spoken to in probably a year IMs me out of the blue while I'm talking to Haviland on IM.

On the subway, Lo and I end up sitting right behind the ass of the most appreciated and worshiped girl at my high school. Kim. She was a senior when we were juniors. We all would've gone gay for her, and some of us did. She often returned the favor.

She was brilliant; writer, artist, singer/songwriter/thing.
I couldn't move really.

and you were so beautiful, with an edge and a charm ...

The day before this, I saw Callie dash into the train, going in the opposite direction--
I see her sit down with her Bluestockings bag.
and the train rolls away before she sees me.

When all we wanted was the dream
to have and to hold that precious little thing
Two days ago, Lo did a tap-dance for me to a Sarah McLachlan song, "Witness," and we talked afterwards about how I never really realized that McLachlan intentionally used religious imagery [I remember now though that Ryan and I had discussed it once, on Easter, which I've only really celebrated once, with Ryan.]

Then on AIM today Haviland mentions SarahMcL and how much she likes her, as do I,
after I've spent the whole post-dance day getting back into SaMcL,
and then the iTunes radio station I listen to (which's classic rock mostly),
suddenly busts out into a SaMcL SONG,
after playing two straight hours of nothing but man-anchored classic rock.

Will the change come while we're waiting
or are we still waiting ...

Speaking of songs, and of Lo, she started singing this song that we [my father, Lewis and I] used to sing at basketball games, but that my Dad used to sing all the time around the house: "Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey Goodbye," [I don't know where it's from or anything, it is what it is], while I'm on the phone...

with my mother.....

who I only talk to like, once a week at most, so it's not that common,
and Lo has no clue how the song came into her head or why she started singing it.

I told my Mom it was a ghost and she made fun of me and then said: Do you think he is with you?

Yeah, I said. I think he might be here.

i miss the little things
i miss everything
about you

But wait. It gets better.

Last night, Haviland and I are walking back from her friend's place in the East Village. I see assorted junk on the ground and I comment: "Haviland, you've gotta stop leaving all your stuff on the street ..." but then we approach the pile and we see ...


"A Night So Long." It's just sitting there on the street. On the street corner. Dionne Warwick, in a fur coat, beckoning us with a night so so soooo long. Really, really, really. In quite mint condition, too.

Yeah, really.

Seriously, like, what?!!

This is especially funny because we'd talked about her in one of our first conversations ever. At which point, I died laughing. LMLO. [laughed my life off]

I believe this is heaven for no one else but me ...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Oh ElleGirl, You're Such a Tease! No, really, stop it! Oh, I'm gonna LMAO! OMG now I'm crying. Fuck.

It's hard to be so forward-thinking and mega-trendy that everything I love gets canceled (it all began with a little television program known as My So-Called Life), but I manage to find and adore these sinking ships again and again---lately it's been happening with magazines. I adored Radar, and Radar closed after only three tantalizing issues. But I wasn't expecting a long-term relationship from Radar--it'd broken my heart before, so I'd never allowed myself to relax and get comfortable. I wasn't expecting Radar to be there for me in the morning. I didn't expect commitment from Radar. Radar was a "fun while it lasts" sort of thing. You know, like Rayanne Graff.

But ELLEgirl. Oh, ELLEgirl!! ELLEgirl had the backing of a mama mag that's managed to totally outlast it's own slide into an identity crisis and current irrelevance (Ashlee Simpson? Really?!) and I know high school girls love magazines, because when I was in high school, I would practically orgasm on the school bus in anticipation of my Seventeen waiting earnestly in my mailbox. (This was pre-digital age though, so I couldn't just go home and like, find a prom date on myspace or whatever it is kids do these days, and there was no AIM so I had to like, call my friends from my parents' phone and it wasn't even cordless) But I read it on Gawker: ElleGirl will be abandoning its print magazine after the June/July issue to "increase its investment with the brand's digital format."

Right. Last I checked, this "digital format" isn't exactly going to fit in the plastic book-holder-binder-thingie I put over the stairmaster to read magazines while I "work out" at New York Sports Club. NYSC did install those "sports network entertainment systems" in like, 2001, but the web browser didn't work then and it doesn't work now, not like I could click around while I'm working out so hard anyhow. (In fact, like an overgrown Putt-Putt course with depressed elves and moldy astroturf, the NYSC televisions have actually been degenerating with time--In addition to never reaching their alleged potential as a web browser/shopping screen/digital cable portal/personal trainer/or something, every TV has it's own special problem, be it "no volume" or, perhaps "all the channels below 14 are fuzzy" or "only shows Telemundo." Whatever. That's another complaint for another day.)

For now; let me tell you why ELLEgirl rocked my mag-lovin' world.

1. I've never managed to sit through an entire episode of Gilmore Girls, but every EG cover-girl reminds me of Rory Gilmore. I mean, Emma Roberts? Emma Watson? Amanda Bynes? Who the hell are those girls? Hogwarts! I don't know, but I bet they had a debutante party, and she probably invited Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, and all the other girls who smoke Newports and skip class. It's better than pink lemonade lip smackers! MMMM.

2. Okay, fo' real now: ElleGirl had seriously realistic trendy solid fashion advice. As a 24 year old livin' in the 11211 (which means that my style must reflect the "eternal youth" and "striking fashion foresight" of my hipster peers) I was way into their mildly-expensive (think Free People pants, Abercrombie top, H+M belt, Stuart Weitzman shoes and Cynthia Rowley necklace) and super-fun fashion layouts. The mag contained practical and affordable beauty advice for those of us who want to look like "ballsy chick rockers" or "mod, not punk." (e.g., me.) Some fashion pages, like this month's "Oz Fest" have cute lines like: "Girl knew the Yellow Brick Road was nothing but an endless catwalk." HOLLA!

3. This month--much like a boyfriend who cooks you a three-course meal the night before he moves to Bangladesh--ELLEgirl did three amazing things; They produced a fashion layout on how to "go tough and androgynous," featuring tomboy styles (aka Marie's Killa Sporty Spice Style) AND interviewed Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who was amazing in Mysterious Skin and I crushed on him hard-core in 3rd Rock from the Sun too AND this month's check-in with the four token girls of the "class of 2008" was titled: PIERCINGS AND BIRTH CONTROL. Eat that, North Dakota. Also Kelly, one of the girls, has an ex-boyfriend named "Ever."

4. Their little is-this-Avril-Lavigne's-diary-or-is-it-ELLEgirl cover quotes are nothing short of genuis. Scrawled in Authentic Teen Handwriting over a uni-toned body part of the cover girl, these quotes include gems like this one from Amanda Bynes: "There is nothing less attractive than a guy who is a jerk and has an ego." True dat, Mandy. But how about this, Dear Abby--I mean, Amanda--what if he smells, too? That's worse. Seriously. That's like, the ugly smelly icing on your unattractive cake.

5. It costs $1.99. I dare you to find a Starbucks that'll serve you hot water for less than a $1.99. It reminds me of when I was a kid--you know, ten years before Harry Potter's girlfriend was born--and a lot of things cost $1.99. Back then, ELLEgirl would've been like, $1.00, which is even cheaper.

6. Sometimes, like for example at editorial meetings at nerve.com, where I interned last fall, I would start a sentence with "I read in ELLEgirl that..." etc etc, and though some knowing souls would raise an eyebrow, I think some people thought I was saying L-Girl, which could be like, a hip lesbian magazine or something.

7. It's association with my former favorite show, America's Next Top Model. However, after Ty-Ty kicked Kim off the show, I would've cited the relationship to ANTM as a strike against ELLEgirl, but then they started running these amazing ads with the whole cast, including my girlfriend Kim.

8. It's like, if Jane and Sassy had a slightly less ironic cousin, she would be ELLEgirl.

9. According to their Kinsey-esque groundbreaking sex survey, 8% of readers are bisexual. You can easily double that (because they're kids, so you know, a lot are still in denial), which makes a lot of little bisexual cuties! Not to mention the 19% who've had a homosexual experience...which is like, right below the 30% who've had sex. So basically, most of the girls who are like, interested in sex at all, are already getting some girl-on-girl action. And you know what that means? Everyone is gay. Yay pride!

10. "Where did you Get That?", which is like "Look Book" High School Style, asks random girls on the street (I'm not sure how they do this, because they're stopping girls in like Texas, and L.A, and everywhere, so they probably have like, nationwide fashion spies, which is pretty intense, you know?) where they go their clothes. Sometimes, the girls go the extra step and define their style (as it is at the age of 15 or whatnot), which I think is really super awesome. here's some examples (you already know mine, see #3): "laid back but fun," "bohemian and chill," "the indie-rock boho look" and "pretty preppy."

All this self assurance!...and now we're getting...fucking ringtones? Weren't special ringtones deemed Officially Annoying in like, 2004? Or whenever the three millionth customer downloaded the Sex and the City theme song for when their "girlfriends" called? Ringtones! Ringtones.

Also, they had kinda good articles. G-d, it's just so cute, and it hurts to see something like that just fade away like dust in the wind, as they would say on the catwalk.

Okay, G-d? Check this out. These are my ten favorite magazines. Please don't cancel any of them.
New York Magazine, Marie Claire, Glamour, Allure, Bitch, Bust, Poets+Writers, Curve, Esquire, Women's Health.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Blogging Starts NOW: Wrap Me Up, Unfold Me

Little Girl Lost:

So, a public blog.

The kind of blog that someone I ...

1. Dated
2. Share DNA with
3. Sat next to in seventh grade Spanish (or 12th grade spanish...what up Gaia?!!)
4. Lived with in 1998
5. Live with now
6. See every day
7. Work with
8. Have applied to work for
9. Barely even know
10. Is obsessed with me (more people than you would think, seriously)

... can access and read.

I've kept a Livejournal for about 4 years, but the audience for that is fairly limited/intimate.

But--maybe it'll be good for me. I think, especially now, my personality has become kinda fragmented. And although there are far more important things in the world then the Generation X Search for Self, it might be a good idea for me to try to consolidate myself into someone I recognize, and therefore not feel this deep panic when someone random asks to be my friendster.

But I'm fairly certain that every post I make will fall into one of the following 10 categories:

10. So, today I was at ______ [Duane Reade, Gristedes, D'Agostino, Rite Aid] and my service was so bad that I ______ [yelled at the pharmacist, stole a Cliff Bar] and all the cashiers were just standing around like morons doing ______ [their nails, nothing]. How can they provide such terrible service?

9. If I ever get cable again, I would talk about the progression of my favorite programs, e.g., America's Next Top Model. Oh wait, except I don't watch that show anymore, it's over for me and Ty-Ty after she booted Kim with a swift kick of utter unfairness and possible homo-phobia, I mean, winner-phobia. I could also talk about The L Word, but the season just ended, or shows that piss me off as a feminist, like Room Raiders (not gay Room Raiders though, which rules) or those shows where women wear shiny dresses and cry a lot over douchebag guys that are seeking a wife who will fill the void left in their hearts following their 1987 Wash U graduation, when they left their Alpha Phi brothers behind.
P.S. Josh Lyman is so fucking dreamy. The West Wing is such government porn. (see photo)

8. Where's my money?

7. I am so funny! Here's what I said today that was funny:______.
7a) My friends are so funny! Here's what they said today that was so funny:______.
7b) Jon Stewart is so funny! KC and Elka from the Planet Podcast are so funny!

6. Links to things I have written, or mentions of things I've written being published.

5. I should stop eating so much candy.

4. Isn't it interesting, how technology has changed our world?

3. I miss _____. [Pretty generous list of people to pick from here.]

2. America is so fucked up! George Bush is dumb! Why can't gay people get married? Nebraska: WTF??!!!

1. I heart ____. (Mary Gaitskill, Eggo Waffles, the skyline, etc.)