Sunday, June 22, 2008

I Wanted To Paint Nothing. I Was Looking For Something That Was the Essence of Nothing, and the Soup Can Was It.

[Attempting to construct a frivolous Sunday Top 10 with disproportionate self-consciousness, I figured I'd just write down my feelings -- mostly carry-overs from a few weeks ago -- and move on from there. Here they are. Yay! Sunday Top 10 is finished, will come tomorrow (it's finished, so that's a real promise)].

An Open Letter to All Interweb Haters and Self-Righteous Anti-Blogging Journalists:

[Not Good Autowin Readers, I love y'all. You're the best! This is directed at interweb haters, which sometimes includes people I know, but 95% of the time, doesn't.]

You Chorus of Cuntish Commenters [not my commenters, obvs], your twatiliciousness skyrockets. You under-sharers! You private, nasty people with little boxes of secrets in your stomachs! You're still riding the self-righteous tails of That Emily Gould Thing, a "kids these days" nose-snubbing/squabbling, or you're fired up by a number of additional fuels: NY Mag's recent "microfame" dissection, Keith Gessen's me/"the me you hate" breakdown, Julia Allison's continued Julia Allison-ness (although even she called it quits once).

The problem is: I let public & private negative discourse pervade my headspace. I get beautiful, supportive emails & comments from Autowin/straddle readers and yet a few negative voices overwhelm them. It's precisely the grateful notes that stop me from giving up -- it's not about ego-stroking, or wanting attention, it's about feeling that it matters though Old Media says it don't.

Why is sharing inherently bad -- and NOT sharing consequently "good"? There's plenty of bad oversharing out there, of course ... and I don't read it. Furthermore, I understand we must withhold most things, in fact, our hearts & guts tell us precisely what to hold back, just as it tells us it's time for lunch.

I like the internet! I LIKE IT! I'm sick of apologizing. I'm tired of reading over & over that the cultural pulse is beating inside an indulgent body and that this body is sitting & judging while we bloggers croon on like washed-up lounge singers. Watch me, watch me, I'm a lock-free Dear Diary, my Hooker Name is Elizabeth Wurtzel and my special trick involves opening my whole mouth and letting you touch my wisdom teeth. My Pandora's Box was opened against my wishes, but I haven't figured out how to close it and besides, everything happens for a reason.

In fact, this here blog has lead to many fabulous beautiful intangibles and I think it's better karma to keep going than to stop. I refuse to believe the internet isn't a little magic, look at this video from Kelka Pride. It's easy to scowl protectively at everyone, but it's more fun to play with them. Next year, p.s., we're all going to Kelka Pride.

(I read: "On the Internet, a person can enjoy all the downsides of fame without actually being famous. You can inflate your ego, betray your friends, alienate your family and earn the contempt of strangers without earning a penny in extra income" here and wonder -- am I about to make a ridiculous, flagrantly wrong point? But then I think -- I'm a young earnest writer, isn't it only natural that I'd write a blog, explore the medium? I wouldn't be the first "artist" to forge on so foolishly, w/o it being my "job"?)

[self portrait with sunglasses, andy warhol]
Watch me! Stick a tip or a word in the g-string of my informational striptease. I'm human. I've got a concrete heart & walls like pink floyd ... but humans, even loners like me, need some connection to the rest of the world, even if they hate the rest of the world. Even better, I like feeling that I've done what can to change it just by being me. And that live person-to-person thing -- that petrifies me, and I'm getting too old to keep drinking every time I'm forced to cross the gulf to strange strangers. But I'm safe here, and I like it here.

[Ten Portraits of Jews of the 20th Century Portfolio: Sarah Bernhardt
by Andy Warhol]

Example of Magic: Women's voices. Queer voices. Are everywhere. There's still a million differences between how they're received vs. the traditional voices but to simply exist is a big step in the right direction.

And here's what really I don't get -- and didn't get, re: the emily gould debacle, or any situation in which the writer isn't actively attempting to incite/provoke argument/debate, expressing hateful or bigoted ideas, or auto-playing an annoying song on launch ... if you don't like it ... don't read it. I don't like video games, but I'm not writing Nintendo to critique their latest version of Death Killer Raider Game #456 and, while I'm at it ... "p.s. Nintendo is fat & ugly!"

But -- commenhaters, you do read it! You eat it, devour it, lick the plate click-by-click and then smack your lips and vomit on the cook's face: "That was terrible."
The cook will ask: "Why'd you eat it?"

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.
- Eckhart Tolle

Writers (and musicians) have been oversharing forevs, it's just more searchable now. We're not savages. But we're vulnerable, 'cause we've taken off our armor and are now sitting behind it, naked & waiting. And there you hatoraiders are with your daggers & shimmering shields. You see our weapons and our best defenses, but decide instead to plan attack based on your feelings about our underwear (and women's underthings: far better to criticize). I didn't ask you to undress, so you don't have to, but you don't have to watch my undressing, either.

[Andy Warhol -Burkley Reinhold]
What can bloggers say in return to anyone who isn't "out there" like we are? I don't even know, 'cause I don't sit around thinking about why I hate people and where I can yell about it. I have complete respect for cyber-"anonymity" (in fact! Not only do I respect it, but I think it's a good thing that the blogosphere seems to be getting less crowded -- those meant to endure, have, and those who haven't, haven't, for whatever reason. Also 'cause if I add one more blog to my Google Reader, I'll have a heart attack), what annoys me is self-righteousness about cyber-anonymity ... the chip on the shoulder of many cyber-anonymous/non-bloggers ("learn your lesson from Emily," they say); loyal only to native art.

In fact -- bloggers can get fired (or -- just to avoid risking a blogger will blog about work when there's plenty of applying talent w/o blogs -- never hired in the first place) simply for having a blog, w/o first amendment protection. Your online-self is so damaging that companies exist now simply to erase it (for a fee). Blog-to-book sales have disappointed. Blogger-to-paid-blogger tales are increasingly less frequent. Oversharing's the Eighth Sin.

Sometimes "I'm not an internet participant, just an observer," is the new "We don't have a television, it's in the closet." (P.S. My teeve's in the living room, though I don't turn it on. I'm so cool, aren't I? For not watching teevee at home? I'm so much better than you. Don't worry, I'm also just like you at your worst and ugliest. Wanna hear about it? Listen: I watch TV at the gym, or with friends I'll stare blankly at its cheap stories and flat people w/expressive eyes and let it fill me like so much styrafoam.) Don't get me wrong -- I don't want you cyber-anonymous, or anyone who doesn't want to, TO participate. But if you do observe, and consequently choose so participate, I'd hope your contribution would be productive rather than just bitching at the content creators.

"The price of being known has gotten really low. I mean not the price, the reward.
Or whatnot. Andy Warhol could more accurately have said in the future everyone will be famous for $15."
-Emily Gould, Emily Magazine
*

[Screen Test: Edie Sedgewick. By Andy Warhol.]
So here's the kicker: the thing about microfame is that it doesn't necessarily bring any profits whatsofuckingever. It can even be a liability. This can be tough, I imagine -- dealing with the cons of fame (being recognized, criticized, insulted, gossiped about, dumped or attacked by a friend/partner) without the pros that make the cons bearable (this is how I make a living and feed myself and my family, so the sacrifices are worth it). I say "I imagine" because I'm not famous enough to deal with those cons, not because I have dooce.com-ish economic "pros." I don't know if the financial rewards for blogging will change, or if that's even the point -- though in a capitalist society, it sure seems like it is.

Saying you're a "blogger" once meant you were part of a forward-thinking generation of new-media enthusiasts, dreaming of an age that marries art, community and self-expression and births an international and ideally merit-based medium. Now, it kinda means you're a sucker, unless "for Deadspin" or "for Jezebel" are the next two words rolling off your tongue. Hell, it's gotten so bad that even Gawker seems to be pretty nice these days. Everyone's been snarked at, it's boring now.

The only thing left to do is be earnest, I think.

[In the Bottom of My Garden, by Andy Warhol]
What I like about Andy Warhol is his playfulness -- this can be fun. It can be entertaining or poetic, but bloggers can't have a deep thought or pull off perfect similie every day. Personally, I've lately tried to save those moments for the Sysiphean task of my novel. (Not a memoir anymore. I just ... can't.) Also, personally: my commenters don't yell or hate and are usually encouraging, and I like the challenge of increasing the user-friendliness and overall derth of fulfillment and format I can do with a receptive audience ... and at its very best most thrilling moments, it's like being an editor of my own little magazine, which has always been my dream job. I like dreams and the beach!

I've got faith that this medium's ultimately good for humanity, and also -- this medium's one of the only things I believe in that I can elect to take part in w/o spending money or leaving my apartment. There's frivolity, but there's also stuff I'm passionate about: group therapy, internet performance art, literature, book club, making people feel a little less alone.

The journey is all. We'll see.
*
The magic of the internet, again!: I just went online to track down some referenced posts, and found this at Slut Machine/Jezebel, expressing similar resolve. When I went to Gessen's blog to grab a link for my earlier graf, I found he'd posted this, which says what I just said, but better & briefer, and includes this exchange, which reminded me of conversations I've had:
Hampton: Rich people don’t blog. Happy people don’t blog. Successful people don’t blog.
Gessen:
I’m not any of those things.
Hampton
: But you’re those things enough, man. You wrote your book out of pain, and that’s why your book doesn’t suck. I don’t care what these people say. Whereas this blog is just the result of pique and wounded vanity.

[ Details of Renaissance Paintings (Paolo Uccello, St. George the Dragon), by Andy Warhol]


So, all ye haters, just shut your mouth. If I've learned anything of substance from blogging, it's that human beings are, by and large, better than we expect -- or could be. I think we will make this matter. We enjoy the first bite so we'll take it, and when we're all certain it's not poisoned, I'll pass it on to your grandchildren. I could do doomsday too, dressed in black for you, skip to my deepest blue. But this is much more fun.

Because I'll never be happy, therefore I must try whenever possible to feel happy, otherwise I'll die like a SIM, plunging red, time for bed, the hitch is dead.
I can't prove you're wrong about this medium ("the medium is the message"), but you can't prove I'm wrong about it either.

I've been obsessed with Andy Warhol lately, following the recent Interview Magazine issue dedicated to remembering him, which Alex brought me one evening and which enthralled me. I bought The Warhol Diaries and we need to finish Factory Girl. We wanna re-create The Factory, yes! we are such posers! Even my desire is a clichè, and I don't care! into something we call "The Warehouse." Like many things, it may not happen. Also though; it may. There was dry lightning for thirty minutes before the rain, and then the heat returned, following thunder. And then we went to bed, and then we woke up.

Brigid Berlin: He'd sit behind me reading The Post. He'd say; "Well isn't this a great story. Why can't Pat make a script out of this?" I'd say, "What are you talking about?" I didn't have the Post in front of me. "Well, this is a great murder, why can't we do this?"
Vincent Fremont: Or, "they're so peculiar."
Brigid Berlin: "All these young kids, they're doing such great things, and we're doing nothing."
Vincent Fremont: "He liked youth and he liked the news. I think that Andy would have been with the kids at 80. He would have appreciated anybody creative who was young, and helped them go forward. ..
*
Vincent Fremont: It's hard to project what Andy would be like today because he was so unpredictable. People always ask me what Andy would have painted. I think, with all the scandal that's gone down over the years, Andy would have been fascinated. And all that world of technology -- we would have stayed with it. Andy was very curious and he always wanted to know what was going on, and that keeps you young. I'm still trying to emulate him in that sense. Can you imagine how many young artists would have been coming to visit him?
*


25 comments:

A. said...

I stumble on posts like these at the best times, when my head is spinning and I'm wondering why everyone around me must be so damn fake.

Loving this...
"Humans, even loners like me, need some connection to the rest of the world, even if they hate it. Even better, to feel you've done what you can to change it just by being you. And that live person-to-person thing -- that petrifies me, and I'm getting too old to keep drinking every time I'm forced to cross the gulf to strange strangers. But I'm safe here, and I like it here."

Went to some bar tonight that I spent a lot of the summer of 2006 in. That summer that bar went from being this amazing lowbrow sort of place to hang with my then best-friend, to the centre of hell. I swore I would never go back. Until tonight, when I thought it would be different... new friends, gorgeous night... but all I could do was scan the crowd for the person I used to be. I have no idea how to get back to that point.

A lot of feelings that have a lot to do with nothing. Enough rambling from me. Have a good one Riese.

Razia said...

Fuck them. Totes love you and what you do.

I just used one of your Auto-Fun links to prep for my exam on welfare economics. Well actually I'm going to use it as my punching bag but still. The bee sting one. Not only do you entertain but you assist education.

burningsteady said...

Is this Andy Warhol week? I went to the museum on Wednesday, and then the post directly before yours on my google reader name dropped Andy as well. Ridic.

Now, for the blog. I mean, people still give confessional poets grief; could you imagine if Sexton had had a blog?

I think part of it, too, has to do with the socially conservative swing the country is still wallowing in. Things have changed all over, so it stands to reason that all the young awesome people who just want to question (loudly) what everyone has always questioned (quietly) before will get shit for it.

And, in the end, if they don't like what's in our heads, they can close the browser. We don't have that option.

Mira said...

thank you, someone...finally. the clamor over "exposed" was so insulting and nobody standing up for her really. as you said, it seems like the medium being accessible is what opens it up to being attacked by everyone who has a forum, and everyone does! because they have the internet too just like the people they are critiquing. its like big brother but without the political goals.

blogs i want to read:
jack kerouac
oscar wilde
sylvia plath
virginia woolf
vita sackville-west (a group blog maybe with virginia?)
cheever's own "why don't we get drunk and blog"

hey, there's your next series/segment.
like the proust livejournal link you had.

Mira said...

that "its" wishes it was an "it's." apologies/shame.

i think word verifications are getting harder.

Haviland Stillwell said...

Darling, you know everyone has always called me the Factory Girl...move to LA and we will create a factory...you'll be Andy to my Edie. We'll cover the walls with aluminum foil, set up cameras at every "event" we're supposed to be at, so we can just see whats happening, without having to participate. We will feel so silly and so happy in our fabulous factory, and people can just come to us. Like auto-win.

caitlinmae said...

bravo, riese.
well said.

after digesting andy for a while, check out robert mapplethorpe's polaroids...i'm amped for that exhibit.

there need to be more factories and factory girls and less political machines and rumor mills.

davelozo.com said...

this was awesome. i feel like the emperor, and you are young skywalker. "embrace your hate. strike me down!" well, without the down-striking part, that is. it's nice to see you really just get angry and type things like Chorus of Cuntish Commenters. you don't use "Cuntish" as often as you should. you stay classy.

but whatever. the people who take shots at bloggers or internet things are the same people who had careers in radio in the 1930s and ripped TV when it came along. "who is going to trust their info from that magical box with the moving pictures? that's crazy-talk!"

people are afraid of what they don't understand. like me with women. you guys are downright scary.

p.s. i hate being davelozo.com in every fucking comment. i don't know how to fix it.

Meghan said...

I am really glad you wrote this.

I have so many feelings about, it in fact, that I'm going to email you later when I am less hungover and express a few of them.

Now I have to go find bacon and eggs and coffee and ibuprofen.

Katyn said...

my M.A. thesis is concerned with anonymity, identity, and the internet... so naturally i could say a boatload about this entry because you hit the nail on the head. but fundamentally, this blog entry and all the links you provide reinforce why i find this new medium fascinating from a cultural point-of-view, and i want to thank you for standing up for the 'net and its anonymity as well.

riese said...

A.: Sometimes I get that way -- wishing i could go back to someone I'm not anymore, but then sometimes I am so scared of being who I used to be that I cling to the habits that went along with the new-me, rather than the behavior, and think that'll keep me centered. A lot of feelings that have a lot to do with nothing. Enough rambling from me. HAve a good one A.

Razia: That's a practical application. I assist education. Magic!

burningsteady: It is, actually, I think. I feel he was such a fan of celebrity and celebration for the hell of it that he seems to inspire a new string of articles and exhibits with each inconsequential milestone. E.g., he would've been 80 on August 6th.
I feel like Sexton would've had a livejournal, and in deep states of discontent, turned all her entries to private or friends-protected, and made groups of friends who could see certain entries based on people who could handle various levels of her depression.

They can close the broswer. Or click out, certainly. It baffles me. And yes, there's a sense that the media is the only power the left has left, and the children are just wasting it on flickr slideshows ... etc. GOod point.

Mira: That is a fanfuckingtastic idea. I don't think I'd do a good job of emulating any of those fine, fine voices, and I'd fear I might cause a famous person to do a backflip in their grave. I think Kerouac would've had a kickass travel blog, and pictures of ceilings.
There's a fantastic article about Cheever's alcoholism in this month's Believer., you should check it out.

Haviland Stillwell: Have they? Well, that's just fabulous, do you want to be in my next film? And of course the party viewer ... we call it "this nights party dot com" instead of last night's. Who cares what happened last night? The future is all.

caitlinmae: Thank you, and I agree about the political machines and rumor mills. OMG! I SAW that exhibit! The Whitney is my favorite museum and we went there when my Mom was in town. I am an art expert! I read a good article about him and his brother recently : Here.

dave lozo: I like being Sykwalker, he gets to wear all white! Cunt is one of my favorite words, but Haviland hates it so you know, I have to be careful. You kinda are my emporer though, I'm often like "well lozo wrote about [something controversial], so is it really gross for me to write about [whatever]? etc.

I love you for loving this. My Mom called me alarmed that I was "angry" and immediately after talking to her, I signed on to see you'd left a lengthy comment that not only indicated that you'd read it, but that you enjoyed it, and it's been a while since that happened, and it makes me happy. I have a little baby rage, I've heard, but I get really upset about this whole thing. We are scary.

Oddly enough, I still listen to the radio. In podcast format. Every generation, I suppose, has its naysayers. How do we make money from this again? Man, I could go for some sports tickets.

I don't feel you're being davelozo.com in every comment. You've been DJ Lozo, David Lozo, David J Lozo ... or are these your attempts to fix it, fancy pants?

Meghan: And I am really glad that you liked it and had feelings about it. I hope your coffee and bacon and eggs and coffee and ibuprofen did the trick.

Katyn: oooo that sounds like a fascinating M.A. thesis. Wait what did you get your M.A. in? In my fantasy world, I'd be in grad school right now for Media Studies, accumulating my Worthless Degree resume.
Anyhow -- thank you. For getting it.

Davey James Lozo, Esq. said...

Oh, Riesiecakes. I always love you and your stuff, whether I comment or not. OK. The "what you're reading" posts don't do it for me. We both know this. If you made those "what you're wearing" posts, I'd totally comment on them. But you know my love is unconditional. Unless you blog about your love of Sex and the City, then I have to break up with you for that day.

But anger is good. People don't understand this. If you leave it bottled it up, it either seeps out at the wrong times, or it builds to the point where it explodes, and you find yourself in jail on charges of multiple murders with Dick Wolf asking you sign a waiver in order to grant him the rights to turn your situation into a Law & Order episode.

Anyway, thanks for being my number one source for feelings and Miami Dolphins tickets.

girl interrupted said...

i think i used to be one of those people who was sketpical about the purpose of blogs--partially because they have gotten such a bad rap in the media within the past few years. yet, once i found this site i can honestly say i have completely changed my attitude. i really stumbled on it by accident, i can't actually remember how i even found your blog--i'm a chronic internet searcher i guess.

the more i think about it, the more i realize that blogging is really a democritization of the media--a field that has so often become manipulated by corporations and lobbyists--but now there actually exists a form of expression that does not rely on advertisements or even financial incentives. it exists because people want to share. of course, there are always some people who are in it for the wrong reasons--but what exists that, that cannot be said for. there is something inexplicably refreshing about hearing those voices that are so underrepresented in the 'mainstream,' and for that, i have come to love this blogosphrere. and if there is anything i have truly come to realize, it is that i admire you for your ability to share with people. i love literature, writing, all that jazz, but i can't honestly say that im willing to put myself out there in the way that you do. yours is really the only blog that i read, i find it funny, heartfelt, and often achingly profound. despite the fact that i don't know you, likely never will, i can say that i look up to you and admire the friendships that you have. you should know you are an extremely talented writer and once that novel/memoir of yours comes out i will definately buy it. i have a long way to go before im out of the world of highschool, the hell of college admissions, and into an era of my life where i can pursue writing, study whatever i want, and surround myself with awesome people--but until then, i certainly enjoy seeing some of the world through your eyes.

all the best.

Adam said...

Hi.

I liked this; also I liked this t-shirt. I'm a complicated boy.

I've said this before, but this seems like a good time to say it again:

With all this talk about 'oversharing' and 'undersharing' what happened to the plain ol' regular-type 'sharing' we learned was a virtue in kindergarten. I miss being able to share.

Katyn said...

re: M.A. thesis - i'm in the process of writing it, gathering data and literature. i will finish it this year, cross your fingers. anyway, i'm studying cultural anthropology, and applying concepts from that discipline as well as encompassing discourse in media studies, sociolinguistics, etc. since the internet is such a complex topic. cyberanthropology is a budding field so it's a little like feeling around in the dark. but right now i'm examining a message board that allows a wide choice of anonymities and how people are reacting to that. i think people have "adapted" to internet culture at such a rapid pace that many behaviors are accepted as "normal" - that in itself is fascinating to me. that was probably way too much info, my apologies. ha.

[Antonio L.] said...

"Humans, even loners like me, need some connection to the rest of the world, even if they hate it."

I think some blogs are just beacons, a light truing to attract like minded people, some one who understands the loner person writing it. Damn lurkers.

and I loved this post of yours. well said.

Christine said...

riese, dont listen to the jerks out there. i enjoy your blog as well as slogreen and kelka for many of the same reasons. random witty banter, insightful comments and like minded people.

its so hard to connect in person, all the anxieties i have often boil over making me mute and unable to move. the internet enables many people to connect in deeper ways that might not be possible in person. i have many close friends that i have not met physically.

i was one of the attendees at kelka pride this year, and i felt at home with everyone even though i wasnt a huge poster on their forum. it was an amazing experience. i really hope you do attend. i think youll be a welcome addition to the kelka experience. :-D

Bren said...

I like your blog.

riese said...

davey james: I remember when I first asked you why you blogged you said it was to vent. Like therapy, except without having to take anyone else's advice, eh? If Dick Wolf ever ripped off my story of pent up anger which resulted in me getting in a street fight on 125th and Lennox, I'd hope that he'd at least hire Sarah Chalke to play me. I bet people get pissed when someone ugly plays them. Maybe I SHOULD do something. Also, other ways to reduce stress include going to Miami Dolphins games and Madonna concerts.

girl interrupted: OMG, so well said. My eyes exploded when I got to the part where you said you've got a long way to finish high school, 'cause I was like, "this girl is a genius!" (flattery will get your everywhere) and then I see you're a young genius, which's even better. You've got a lot of insight already ... and I often wish the blogosphere had existed when I was younger. I remember feeling remarkably alone, except when I'd occasionally stumble across a novel that spoke to my condition, but still there were so many things I thought I was the only one feeling. and even though I had a super good life and live in the first world, I really let these things drive me crazy and make me very unpleasant overall. zines were such a revelation to me, and though I miss them, I think their spirit lives on via blogs. Anyhow, what am I talking? Thank you for the compliment!

adam: Oh, not necessarily. Maybe it's like the evangelical christians who yell at people about homosexuality 'cause they're secretly gay. You want to bomb me, but you also LOVE ME!
I think the blogosphere is a sort of complicated game of show and tell. That's a good new segment idea, hm.

katyn: It is really interesting how people become when they are anonymous. Did you read the NY Magazine articles on this topic? I'm sure you have, probs, but they've done a few over the past few years; about Urban Baby (Mothers Anonymous) and recently another one about this mean commenter on the brownstoner blog or something. I think you're right though -- and that's what's remarkable about me to young kids who are accepting it as a normal part of life, like even people a few years younger, I'm like "you know, there was a time when your friends had to call you to know where you are, AIM away messages didn't exist and therefore didn't always function as a remote stalking device ... it's actually normal to have some privacy ..." etc. I'm rambling again.

antonio l. : I agree, and thank you. In Factory Girl, Edie says that andy made everyone feel okay about being different, or that they were accepted for being different. I like that.

christine: Yeah, I think that the interwebs are a great place for the socially anxious, like myself, and probs many of the readers and other writers. That is awesome that you went to Kelka Pride, it looks like a blast. Srsly, we were like, "omg, we should've GONE!" So yeah, maybe next year. I hope so, I look good in green t-shirts.

riese said...

Oh, I love it when that happens (when i post a comment and as I do so someone else posts a comment and then it looks like I ignored them).

bren: thank you!

green said...

"if you don't like it, don't read it"

i've actually shouted this to my computer screen. self-righteous assholes are so easy to find on the internet. especially in the specific parts of the internet that they claim to hate the most.

hey!, thanks for linking to my video! that made me feel pretty special. it convinced me to eat half of a peanut butter cookie in celebration. peanut butter! anyway, aside from totally agreeing w/ you in very obvious ways, here's what i learned @ kelka pride: 143 means i love you. it's good to make friends w/ younger girls, b/c they teach you high schooly things like this. also, they take funny pictures of you and post them on the internet. win/win.

i, of course, love you/love your blog [you have to read that like, "long time listener, first time caller, love you, love your show", etc. but you probs already knew that], so i really appreciate this post. so many levels, so little time.

a;ex said...

I had to come back and check cause I had a feeling I totally misunderstood Emily's $15 statement.

Got it now. Check.

If we could scratch the first and second paragraph of my previous comment, I'd like that very much.

Sincerely,
Anonymous

caitlinmae said...

riese, that mapplethorpe article was my autofun of the night! Thanks so much! Also, I'm glad to hear a good review on the exhibit. I have never been to the whitney, but my deepseated love for r. mapplethorpe will prevail and I'll get there asap.
ps- crime and punishment is sitting with a plethora of vassar lit mags/erotica in my nj garage. Anything else I can put in your carepackage from idaho, the great garden state, or my corner bodega?

riese said...

green: I had no idea there were so many self-righteous assholes in the universe, PERIOD, until recently, and I wonder how these people feel all day ... brewing with negativity? falling to pieces? I think there should be a note at the end of every published article/post that says "have a lot of feelings about this? channel those into a letter to your senator/george w.bush."

why didn't you eat the whole peanut butter cookie? I hope you had the other half later. That's my favorite kind of cookie. I agree about making friends with younger girls, I feel many of my friends are younger, it makes me feel more optimistic and less like a failure at life. We need a numerical code for "long time listener" etc.

a;ex: Unlike the angelina jolie posters, I have now erased that comment so no-one will ever see it. You know what that is? That's me showing you that I care with a capital "C." Yes, yes I do!

Sincerely,
Riese!

caitlinmae: Yay! I read it and really liked it too. The Whitney is my favorite museum in new york. I like the way it's laid out and just in general, I used to go there to get my bearings when I felt I was losing everything. The thing I want from Idaho more than anything is a potato. A taco from the corner bodega, and from New Jersey I would like a little bit of Oscar Wao.

nina said...

I am sure my blogging is pedestrian to much of the world but really I don't care.(much) If I have just one woman a month contact me and thank me because they no longer felt all alone in their coming out journey I feel validated.

I agree with you completely.

oxox
nina