Last week, I wrote an opus-y piece regarding my super-important feelings on blogging, identity crises, true sentences, feeling unhinged, instant gratification vs. real literature, returning to the deep yearnings of my soul (books, print, tangible words, small silent private lives), feeling slightly insane w/o my anti-anxiety meds, wanting to call a team meeting with my head, and other very world-shatteringly important milestones of the twentysomething apspirant's Search for Self. I read this and this and this and this. Then, instead of finishing this navel-gazing epic [or anything] I pulled a MeMeMeMe and, per Haviland's request -- busted this pop stand for sunnier skies. I was lucky enough to be able to escape: clean blue sky, those lappy waves, long roads through mountains and along ocean, sandy feet, and an internet-free home. I hacked at my ars poetica while in the air on my way .. then I realized; why I am I spending so much time writing about how I need to spend more time writing/reading, when clearly I should just be writing/reading? So that's what I did.
I still don't know the answers to most of the questions I've been asking myself, and every day there seem to be more questions. I don't know.
One thing is pressing, then something else presses harder. Our brains only have room for one thing at a time. Also I'm still chillin' in this self-consciousness fog, trying to shake irrational insults/judgments that wound deeper than they oughta, but this is me, this is me, this is me, calm down, I'm calling you to say I'm capsized erring on the edge of safe, calm down I'm calling back to say I'm home now and coming around .. since returning, I see that maybe life is simply limbo, from now on, let's only speak in invisible ink. You go first.
In times like this, only one person and one thing can make you post again during a self-imposed hiatus ... and that's my dearest BFF Haviland Stilwell and her love of and natural talent for The Vlog. So ladies and gentleman, I present to you the longest vlog ever, starring Haviland Herself.
This blog features Haviland P. Stillwell herself, along with Cait's laughter in the backgorund, and some clips from a vlog that Alex and I tried to do but then gave up after about two minutes. There's also a few flashbacks. It's an epic, like Gone with the Wind. Topics discussed include drama, comedy, tragedy, the meaning of life, very important arguments of modern literary theory, and gymnastics. Oh right and flying lesbians. And; briefly .. the riese & haviland true hollywood story, Cait & I's phone call from Leisha Hailey, Los Angeles, etc.
Soundtrack:
0. Intro: Tupac /California Love
1. "Haviland & Riese: The True Hollywood Story" : Melissa Ferrick / The Breakup Song
2 "Oh Fans oh Fans" : Once on this Island / Waiting for Life
3. "Mini-Feed Me" : The Cure / Pictures of You
4. "Fiction vs. Reality" : Uh Huh Her / Explode
5. "I Do Not Know Who I Am" : The Who/ Who Are You
22 comments:
1st comment! I win,
awesome vlog, I like the ones where you guys actually talk about stuff for at least a few seconds,
and masterful skill at dissing yourself re the whole awesome beautiful writing last post, like, you should have a tattoo that says HUMBLE on your forehead
they're mixing up fonts in word veri now: usezh. Use ZH. Who is ZH? Zoe Hamilton? What should I use her for? (Probably sex, maybe drugs?)
I love lesbians. and eric mathew (obvs.)
More later...
Actually you are hot. I would go gay for Riese!!
That one time it was a crazy evening and I cam home and saw this and got SO happy was totes redic. ummm more on the amazingness that is at a later day...oh jeez.
what an end to passover.
love to riese hav and obvs a;ex....
you know, i miss that haviland. my hair is really long now and sometimes she buys me lunch.
"they cant read"
this was awesome. very few words this week, but you have good instincts trying to make up for it by posting a haviland blog. im torn between gushing and whining.. and have ultimately decided to do neither.
ive stolen some of your words and turned them into my facebook status, because thats as real as i get.
hilarious vlog!!!
i love that ALICE called.
this lword girls got those really fancy cell phones...
okay, i have just arrived home after much alcohol and other influences and google reader gives me this to watch. part 4 is my favourite. obvs. these people aren't real--i am not real. i am so glad to see you & hav on my screen. explode. IDK is a mantra, over and over. don't stop.
a. im drunk
b. i just ate a lean pocket and its bnring hot magmaaaa
c. my bed feels ;ike a boat and u can b my furst mate
loving the vlog, im a tad unhappy that you are not real tho as i now need to know your real name so you can become one of my good friends like alice hailey,shane moennig and jennifer porter, just like you but thay vlog on the tele!!
also life without pressing questions would be dull and its a healthy way to flex the mind,well thats what i tell myself after days of rocking ones self in a dark corner pondering over what eventualy turn out to be not that important questions?!
anyway woffling now so great vlog.
toodles
i fully love this vlog. especially the photo montage! excellent choices, riese-ling!
Aw, it was like coming home after wandering the streets like a vagabond. I love the vlogs with Semicolon, but Haviland is just...Haviland.
I loved the song choices, Haviland's prairie shirt, the photo montage (I'm a sucker for montages), that you got recognized, Eric Mathew singing, Semicolon, and the special appearance of Tinkerbell.
I wrote about 12 different comments here, but never actually submitted them, since I really don't know what to say. You girls are so great, and even though I'm moving to Florida (and scared outta my mind), as long as these vlogs keep coming, I'll be okay.
OMG, was that lame?
My favorite part was the part where it said 'to be continued...'
I'm a little embarrassed that your sitemeter can tell how many times I've refreshed in the past week hoping for a new post.
I'm a little more embarrassed that if it weren't for the little squiggly red line I would spell it 'embarassed' every time. I never learn.
Hiatus is lame. Stop it.
Love,
A
I was so happy when I saw that you had posted a vlog this morning! I've been missing your posts desperately, so it was a very nice treat to be able to greet the day with this!
Also, I think I may add "epic navel gazing" to my interest list, in honor of you. *grin*
[Woah I cannot EVEN decipher this word verification thing wtf?!]
Haviland: It's not just a little prairie, it's verging on big-love-Mormon.
Cait: Nice laughter suppression. If I were on that terrace (or wherever that was), I'd have been busting-out so loud Riese and Hav would've had to do voice-overs.
Riese: I thought you were Mexican dude; livin' in Harlem and all. You totally had me. Shit, now I have to re-contextualize you in my head. Waa — you've left me in limbo.
YAY!!!!!
I have had such a bad week this week, one of those ones where everything and everyone seems to be against you. I havent cried so much in a long time.
However, this was just what was needed to end/start a week... I see sunshine on the horizon.
haviland and i were supposed to get married once. then susan powter took her top off in front of her and ruined everything for me. it's been a downward spiral of booze and broadway shows ever since.
Ooooh that prairie shirt is amazing and horrific.
Holidays in California are temporary soul refreshers until you realize months later that life would be so much easier if you'd never taken the flight back home.
so last night i had a dream that we met and hung out. it was brief but enjoyable.
is that weird?
It's lovely to see you and Haviland back in action. Also nice to see the 'OMG WTF' tshirt make another cameo, it kills me everytime, mainly 'cause it's from my favourite store ever.
I'm still getting giddy at the thought of the phone call you received from my favourite band ever. There were a lot of favourites in this, including y'all, obvs.
I made a Mexican once. My Jewish mother did not approve.
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