Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What a Whirlwind! Live-Blogging the Last Day of 2008

1:04 am: I totally edited this post last night at 1 am to say happy new year all you weirdos, but then um, apparently it didn't go through, which I think means I was drunk, 'cause I don't remember what else I said. So I'm just posting this thing right now when it's actually 1:04 pm just because I am. HAPPY NEW YEAR WEIRDOS!

9:43 pm: Plans to play Rock Band have been interrupted by a lack of a "sensor" and I don't know what that is or anything.

8:53 pm: I am ready for lots of alcohol. Let's get high!

7:14 pm: Natalie thinks it's freezing and has purchased a Happy New Year banner. I have to keep reminding her that when only like three people are coming over, it's not a party, it's a "get-together." Last year I spent New Year's with one person in my room and it was beautiful, the year before that I was in Vermont at Ro & Kelly's cabin with two couples and it was also actually quite lovely and the year before that I feel like I was um ... I remember very little. I recall seeing Natalie, Lo ... a bar ... someone's apartment? The drink? Bolivian Marching Powder?

7:10 pm: Re: Lozo's comment about the girl who plays "thirteen" in HOUSE stealing Haviland's career -- that's Olivia Wilde! She always plays bisexuals. I've never seen HOUSE but I saw her in The O.C. like 40 years ago and as I've said you know I like to read about teevee but not watch it. They're totes different, no worries.

6:47 pm: Natalie just saw a man who'd "thrown up and defecated all over himself" and was lying on the subway train and she got out and ran to the conductor and stopped the train and told him someone was sick and possibly dead in one of the cars. Natalie is a Good Samaritan.

6:05 pm: "Are you gonna live-blog that I'm being a weirdo and making you talk to me on the phone 'cause I just wanna hear your voice?" (Haviland)

6:02 pm: Haviland is making me talk to her on the phone.

5:38 pm: Cannot make graphic, do not have image editing software because my computer is at the apple store. So instead I will just write:

HAPPY NEW YEAR WEIRDOS!
Riese & Haviland walk into 2009



That's a pretty big font. Okay, be back in a few hours.

5:33 P.M.: JK. It's too bad to post. Back to the graphics idea. I think I put on too much eye makeup. Is it time to start drinking? This day feels oddly like every other day.

5:06 P.M.:
Ah HA! I've decided what to do. I'm going to post this short story I wrote five years and another lifetime ago. Because it starts & ends on New Year's Eve. The only problem is I'm a much better writer now, but that will be proof of our ability to evolve. Like as people. Then I will go to the liqour store.

4:06 P.M.
: Maybe I'll do the year in pictures, since my New Year's Post is only half-written and probs would look hotter in 2009. Also it's been a long day, I should've gotten an unlimited metrocard just for the day, I think I took like four subways and two buses. When Natalie comes home I feel she's going to want me to like do something. I am open to going to the liquor store.

3:42 P.M.: I'm going to write an actual post here, you know, in pieces or whatevs. I might even make a graphic! For now all I want to tell you is that this year, I resolve to acquire the following superpowers: omni-linguism, mediumship, flying, shapeshifting, technopathy, time traveling and teleportation. What are you gonna do? Stop drinking, start exercising, stay on a budget or something? That's cool. We're all in this together guys, don't forget that!!

19 comments:

caitlinmae said...

can we start drinking now? is it New Years Eve yet?
happiest, ms. bernard. Here's to the best of 2008 being the worst of 2009 (you know, because 2009 is going to be so fucking amazing, right?)

DJL said...

I was actually considering live-blogging this day too. Only because I can't go out and drink and I am on drugs and home sick. Not to be confused with homesick.

Anyway, since you stole my idea, I will just comment here sporadically until I fall asleep at about 9:45.

eric mathew said...

riese baby.

i just got back from the liquor store and one of the trashy jersey girls dropped a huge bottle of red wine. who does that???

ugh it was so awful and the snatchy italian owner who was being a major tool / snatch muffin was like please don't step in it sir. like did i ask to go swimming in red wine??

anyway. happy new year love.
xoxo.

Elwood said...

Happy New Year, Riese!

burningsteady said...

Happy new year! Good luck at the liquor store.

Vashti said...

Happy Drinking Day! I'll comment later after I've started celebrating properly to wish you a happy new year.

DJL said...

Tell Haviland that the girl who plays "Thirteen" on House has stolen her career. They're like twins. And her character is bi, so it's like watching Haviland on TV, except I guess Haviland isn't a doctor.

autumn m said...

ok this kinda makes me wanna do nothing tonight. but, alas i cannot do this. i must go forth and drink in abundance. and, because you always talk about vodka-tonics, im going to try one in honor of tink. how does that make you feel? i kinda wish i could be at that huge new years party in NY, cause to me that is the ultimate new years party. that's my new new years resolution. save money so i can fly to NY for next years new years eve party. everyone got that? OK BREAK!!

DJL said...

I know they are different, but you're saying Haviland couldn't be Thirteen? Acting is dumb. Tell her to start sleeping with producers. It has to be the reason why some people get famous. There's no shame in it.

Coincidentally, I am producing a new show. Haviland is invited to the casting call. God I'm bored. Update with something already.

Mercury said...

no sensor hmm?

I don't even have a TV, to plug my PS2 into, that I don't even have Guitar Hero for - like, forget Rock Band. And if I were to buy the games I'd also have to buy the guitars, and other instruments, and things - I mean, sometimes I wish I had it cause it's fun but then I realize I'm at best $500 away from it. depending of course on the TV.

Vashti said...

Autumn!!i was totaly gonna have a vodka tonic tonight too. But alas. I dont' have any vodka. *sgh* but I just experienced a new years eve miracl! what i thought was a six pack actually tured out to be a TWEVLVE pac! excitant!!! I don't think i'm realy as drunk kas this comment makes me look. I'm just being really lazy and not backspacing. plus i'm not realy paying attetnio to owhat I'm typing. happ new year!! [well for you.. I still have a few minutes.]

jess said...

It seems you've stopped live-blogging this mother....I'm assuming you're shitfaced as hell now?? Happy New Year kid.

MoonKiller said...

I started drinking at 12.15 and didn't stop til 5 in the morning. And I feel fineee.

I want to read your naff story fo'reals.

Happy New Year and stuff.

dani said...

happy new year freaks!
xo

Elizabeth said...

Seems like it was a Rockband and alcohol new years for (almost) all! Cheers to 2009, the Year of Happy :D

Oo Lynnie oO said...

happy new year! I think this marks year 3 of me creepin' around here?

I hope you had a great night.

Here's to a year of nothingness soon to be filled with craziness.

Tink said...

Feed me!

Littlefoot said...

Hi. Me and Tink are deeeeeeeerunk. Okay bye.

Zenmiester said...

Tinkerbell, I love you! When Riese pitches her gay sitcom she must insist on having you on the show.