Monday, January 14, 2008

UPDATED! Sunday Top Ten: You Tell Me

On Sunday I said this: "I'm accepting suggestions for the Sunday Top 10, as "The L Word" and other catastrophes* are crowding my brainspace. It's my job here at AutoWin to provide the illusion that it is possible for a semi-intelligent human girl to produce an endless flood of ideas, howevs, this is not true. Therefore, I'm fully prepared for the possibility that no one else has any ideas, either. But I thought I'd throw it out there. If I pick your Top Ten topic, you can win an auto-apparel item of your choice pending size availability. Or stickers. Um, or nothing. Soundtrack? Haviland? Just the joy of the game. The spirit of the game? It's not if you win or lose, something something. OMG, I feel like Snoopy or something, it's really gross. Hm. Well, here goes.


Now it's Monday. There are so many beautiful Top Ten ideas, I barely know where to begin! Some of the ideas are kinda similar to stuff I've already done, but I think I might end up doing alot of them as time continues to go on like sand through a hourglass. I've put the list of all the ideas here. And I'm thinking about it. Input is always welcome. I also have to get a passport today and a number of other important tasks, but this is totally like the top top ten list on my list of top things to do for the day of today.

Someone suggested I do a Sunday Top 10 of the Best Top Tens. So, while I ponder the next Top Ten, here's an old school link dump for ya'.

Ten Best Top Tens of 2006:
12.28.06: Top Ten Books of 2006, Some of Which I've Actually Read
12.24.06: Things They Are Better At Out Here in the Heartland
11.26.06: How to Provide Visitors With The Ultimate NYC Experience
11.19.06: Relationships I've Had With Animals
10.29.06: Revivals
10.15.06: Reasons Apartment 1A Is not A Place For Good Clean Living
10.8.06: Things That Are Cuter than Cute Overload
10. 1. 06: Yom Kippur Edition - Things I'd Like to Repent For
8.20.06: Things I Would Like Back, Please
7. 23.06: Appearances by Flannel Shirts in My Videos From Middle School

Ten Best Top Tens of January --> June '07
1.30.07: Why You Don't Want to Date Me
2.27.07: Dreams You Want to Hear About
3.25.07: Apartments I Want To Live In
4.15.07: My Skills
5.8.07: Potential Reactions To The Loss of One's Sunday Top Ten
5.13.07: Summer Scattergories
5.20.07: Requirements for My Unpaid Intern
5.28 & 5.31: Top Ten Clubs To Which I'd Be a Member: Part One & Part Two
6.11.07: I Am Not The Only One Without a Phone
6.19.07: On Camp

Ten Best Top Tens of July '07 --> December '07
7.2.07: Team Awesome's Gay Teevee Show Is Unlike All Other Gay Teevee Shows
7.22.07: Things That We Lost Along the Way/Concepts Abandoned Prior to Execution
8.13.07 & 8.16.07: Things I Want to Do Before I Die Part One and Two
8.30.07&9.2.07: Worst Nightmares One and Two
8.23.07: Live Through This And You Won't Look Back
9.16&9.20: Dream Jobs Part One and Two
10.2.07: Great Mysteries of Life Part One and Two
10.22.07: Things That Were Harder Than I Expected
10.28.07: Things You Might Not Agree With
11.26.07: Cities I Could Totally Never Live In

The New Sunday Top Ten will drop on Tuesday, fo'serious ...


.elida. said...

Here's my best @ 3 something AM while my girlfriend and a couple friends are passed out in the other room/my bed...

1. reasons why Detroit is a not so secret obsession of yours. P.S. It's not so bad, but for reals it's in a state of decay. Chicago, here I come!

2. reasons why having a gay parent is the best thing ever. (my dad is gay. we both have a gay parent. Holla! But did your mom pick you up from school wearing yellow bathing suit trunks and a black mesh tshirt right after [she] came out? No? Well my dad sure did?)

3. reasons why being a jew is the new black

4. i had something to put here, but im way too tired to remember now. So, three suggestions, really.

I probs will not even kind of win. But it's the thought that counts, right? Yep. But really, nope.

Good times. I'm gonna kick my friend out of my bed now. Hello, air matress....

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Top 10 Reasons Riese Doesn't Do Sports.

Or Top 10 Things One Should Be/Have Been Doing Instead of Writing Top Tens.

Or Top 10 Reasons Commenting on Autowin is Better Than Bedtime at 3:36 a.m. on a Saturday.

Aaand ... I'm tapped.

Anonymous said...

i came up with some top 10s i could answer instantly: 1) movie/ tv (scenes) to cry, 2) countries to live in when old and rich, 3) memory-pregnant thingis from childhood/ adolescence hiding in boxes, 4) songs to sing/ dance along, 5) music memories, 6) places to drink alcohol;

Anonymous said...

As i think i mentioned reacently, top tens are really my forte so i feel unable to help...

how about.... the top ten of top tens...

and.. top ten reasons not to come out is still on my computer...thats like two days... i impressed with myself

Bourbon said...

Top 10 Things That'll Never Get You A Date With Riese

Top 10 Things That'll Surely Get You A Date With Riese

Top 10 Things That Riese Would Do For Free

Top 10 Things That Riese Wouldn't Do If You Paid Her A Million Dollars

Top Ten (Famous) People Riese Is Attracted To

Top Ten Drunken Memories

Um, the scary thing is that I think I actually have more...

Anonymous said...

I'm drunk.

It's 9am.

If you did "Top 10 reasons that lint is the new cashmere."

I would read it.

Great. I'm going to smoke now.

(insert comment about word verification)

LCB said...

Top 10 Reasons Haviland Should Watch Empire Records?

frank said...

top 10 ways auto apparel can improve your life.

btw, i wake up at 8:30 on sundays now. sigh.

Haviland said...

I have actually watched EMPIRE RECORDS...when it came out...I remember thinking Liv Tyler's outfit was really cute, but that's about it. Sort of like REALITY BITES - It was fine, but meh...then I watched it again like a year ago and thought, "why are they all so damn whiny?"


I like razia's suggestions, btw.

Adam Tiller said...

For next week (since this is a bit time consuming): Top 10 Builders/Architects Who Just Didn't Get It...featuring the 10 most out-of-place eyesores of new construction in NYC

actually, come to think of it, that might not be a very good top 10 since it would read:

10) WTF? I mean...really.

9) WTF?

8) umm...I said this for the last two, but...

and so on.

My ideas are terrible, which is why I blog once a year.

If you're in the mood for retrospective: top 10 most comment-garnering posts.

how about...

Top 10 Reasons People Read My Blog.


Top 10 Cups of Coffee I've Had (not just taste, but great moments with friends, really really tired and needed it, etc...and of course substitute beverage of choice)

LCB said...

Haviland: Touche. If you thought they were annoying and whiny in the theatrical release, then you should really avoid the Remix! Extended Edition, where they get even more so. I (sadly) even blogged about it.

As for Reality Bites....I totally agree on that one, though I haven't seen it in years.

Anonymous said...

what about-

Top ten blank is the new blank for 2008?
like- celebabies are the new rehab


Top ten moments when the auto universe collided with the 3d universe-
ie haviland meeting lozo?

Not as great as razia's.

Anonymous said...

you ok boo? i am pretty sure everyone here in the auto-world is ok waiting till tuesday for a top 8 or wednesday for a top 6. we take what we can get, don't stress.

you could do the first 10 thoughts that pop into your head. trust me, it'd be entertaining. or you could do 8 things happening on 125 right now. 10 ways to eat a reese's? cause i hear there's more than 1 way. i dunno, clearly we'll keep the creative writing for you.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

because of the reese/riese double entendre, cait blows away the competition and hands down totes wins raunchiest comment EVERRRR. R.

Anonymous said...

get ur head outta the gutter BB, that's not how i roll. oy!

The Brooklyn Boy said...

My head and the gutter are old friends. We go BACK.

Also, that you completed your comment with an "oy" warms the cockles of this member of the tribe's heart.

asher said...

how bout top ten songs/smells (sensory experiences) tied to a memory?

or top ten thing you should do at least once, or only once, or never, or everyday.

Adam Tiller said...

Can we bring back the A;ex Memorial Comment Of The Millennium Award for the C/BB exchange about consumption of confections, because that was so amazing I need a new pair of "I Totes Heart Rock Bottom" boyshorts.

Anonymous said...

Surely the idea pool can't be tapped out by now...but just to get you through this rough patch, here are my top ten gems...

1.)Top Ten funtastic things to do with your fav inanimate object (i.e. bottles of vodka)

2.)Which L-word character are you? Create the test...everyone auto-wins!...except if you land on Papi b/c she's in the vortex with Mark creating nonconsensual vlogs or whatevs

3.)Top Ten inappropriate sexual advances made by Lozo (successful and/or failed)

4.)Top Ten creative uses of/ mock ad campaigns for Auto-Win Apparel (The pics/vlogs of you and Hav will make or break this one)

5.)Anything Tegan and Sara related

6.)Top Ten pics of you, Hav, Carly and the rest of the Auto-Win team sporting boy shorts

7.)Your Top Ten all-time fav places to visit after getting hopped up on smack and nose candy

8.)Top Ten reasons why Mr. redacted is prob still reading your blog...and loving it!

9.)Top Ten things you'll do when your t.v. show gets picked up and you become rich and famous (although, I have a feeling that it'll sorta be like that Barenaked Ladies song "If I had a Million Dollars"...but instead of Kraft Dinner, it'll be PB cheese crackers)

10.)Top Ten comments/suggestions you'll make to your BFF, Ilene Chaiken, when she comes to her senses and starts answering your calls (i.e. more shots of Shane wearing auto-win boyshorts; less jodi; more wide lens shots of Alice doing anything w/ anyone sans clothing...)

Hope this helps with the drought!

Yours Truly, AUTO-WHAT

asher said...

or your ideal boy/girl as composed of the top ten personality traits/physical characteristic/style points/whatevs from various peeps of admiration.

or the worst person, drawing from bad people's traits.

Anonymous said...

in BB's defense, the reese/riese thing had my mind in a place where it shouldn't be as well - but only for about 5 seconds until i remembered that Cait wrote it.

and then i was all "hmm... peanut butter..."

wow, look at the love... how the auto-win community totally comes through!
(except for me... I got nothin. I really liked Razia's suggestions... just sayin.)

amlisdabomb said...

I just woke up. I'm confused and disoriented, but of course this is the first place I check. Obvs.

Hm, let's see if I got any ideas.

-Top ten favorite songs of all time that make you want to get up and dance no matter what.

-Top ten phrases that people say that makes you cringe on the inside.

-Top ten styles (clothing, hair, etc.) you want to come back (ie: side ponytails, acid washed jeans, parachute pants, mullets)

-Top ten CDs of all time.

-Top ten movies that you don't want to admit that you've watched. (From Justin to Kelly for example. Sadly, I own this movie. No bigs.)

Okay well, there's my ideas.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

On behalf of cait and myself, and all the years of preconditioning that made my comment possible, I'd like to thank semicolon for having an award named after her, and adam for the nomination ... it means so much, it really does. You like me! You really like me!

Wait, what? There's no award? There is but you're giving it to Haviland?! Nepotism, I tell yee!

On that note, Soy bomb, Wu-Tang's for the children and Mtv doesn't care about black people.

Also, peanut butter is delish, and when combined with chocolate prevents me from thinking. Which is probably a good thing. I do that way too much as is.

jordan said...

uhm... top ten reasons to call into work? [she says, as she realizes she has to be there in 7 minutes, but rather than even pretending to get up is still reading your blog's comments]

Anonymous said...

bb+adam- i am close with the comment contest judge, i'll see what i can do, no matter what, haviland won't win, she's out of town and therefore eliminated from the competition. sit tight.

vega- thank u for getting it. CLEARLY not what i meant. holla

tanlines said...

top ten greatest gaaay moments in history. I'm usually a troll on your site but your blog is awesome! I can't help it! I love your floetry.

riese said...

lick, bite, suck, kiss, fuck, tease, grab, scratch, push, take.

asher said...

riese - are you brainstorming for the new verse to the l word theme song?

you gotta make um gerunds.

riese said...

[cue music] ... there's no wrong way to eat a reese's ...

frank said...

...that's not what you told me...

ABeos said...

top ten stage plays/musicals that have been adapted to screen where the film version has been as good (if not better) than the original. (12 Angry Men, West Side Story, Angels in America....)

it doesn't happen ofter, but occasionally they translate well or are re-adapted in a more powerful/logical way. not to minimalize the importance of attending live theatre (hell it's a part of my livelihood) but sometimes you just can't afford the $100 tix.

audreyandabby said...

Well, this is my first comment, but I've read your Blog for the past week, and I think you're truly great.

I'll give the Top Ten List a try (but it's not promisinig).

1. Top 10 things people should tell you within the first month of knowing them.
2. Top 10 Books (or anything) that are overrated but you'll hear everyone say they are just fantastic anyway (and you'll agree).
3. Top 10 Things You Wish You Could Do (OR you wish atleast someone would try) (It'd be interesting to know).

I don't know, there's my shot. Best wishes, really.

Anonymous said...

Top ten things you just wanna throw out there (your height, Lozo's, etc).

Top ten automatics (.38, winners, straddles, apparel).

Top ten worst moments of The L Word (really, only ten. Good luck with that vodka bottle).

Top ten ways to get your own vodka on the cruise this summer, so you don't have to pay $9/drink.

Top ten strangest emails sent to you by readers.

Anonymous said...

Top ten reason's i should not gouge out my eyes after seeing Kate hanging out with Paris pictures?

Danielle said...

top ten memoirs
top ten shows you refuse to watch
top ten most played songs on itunes

I really can't come up with anything. UCF is dulling my brain. However, my stylish autowin tank can be worn year round down here which is always a plus.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

riese - duly noted ;)

Ms. Jackson said...

Reese's PB cups are one of my most favorite things to put in my mouth. Now i'm gonna giggle every time I have one.

Well there's an idea. Top 10 favorite things to put in your mouth.

Ellen said...

It's supposed to snow in NY tonight/tomorrow, so how about Top 10 Things to Do on a Snow Day? (Alternately, Top 10 Things Not to Do on a Snow Day.)

Or is every day a snow day in the Palace of AutoWin?

jordan said...

i really like the one about the top ten things that you should do everyday, never, at least once, or only once. that one seems like it has the most potential for brill[iance].

eric mathew said...


1. she beat up daphne rubin vega. i mean not really but in les miz...anyone who can beat up an ex catch scratch club dancer is the shiz.

i would say go with that.

or you could do...

Top 10 reasons why the gays always win arguments.


top 10 reasons hollister was created by the devil.

riese said...

OMG you guys are amazing, I am never going to have to think of a top ten on my own EVER again EVER until forever away.

My brain is fried by the l word, I'm gonna weigh and measure the top ten options tomorrow. tuesday top ten hollaaaa.

Haviland said...

eric mathew: you're so right, dude...They say SHE has the best ass below 14th Street, but really, who are we to compare, yanno?

Obvs the world takeover has begun...we get by with a lotta help from our friends...

frank said...

i don't want to point out the obvs here, but, yeah, we told you. how about you get on this already? alos, how about you start writing a top 10? hey-oh!

frank said...

alos is a funny word.

Anonymous said...

Because, apparently, thinking about your blog is equally important to thinking about my job, I offered another top ten suggestion, selfishly motivated, of course:

Top Ten new slogans coming to you on auto-apparel soon!

frank said...

you like input, huh? of course you do.

Anonymous said...

Top 10 hoodies of all time


Top 10 pictures of the auto-empiresses (including Lozo because there should be no discrimination) in hoodies

Or just Top 10 critters.

eric mathew said...

darling the suspense is building. as i listen to xanadu and quote the movie camp i just keep thinking what the top 10 could be.... it's probs not as gay as i am right now....actually i hope it is.
joke...but serious.

well...i guess i will see it soon.


Laia Balcells said...

so many suggestions already! let me give you some others:

1) Top ten funny things that can happen in an airport

2) Top ten family members (real or fiction)

3) Top ten one night stands

4) Top ten reasons for living in NYC