Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Sunday Top 10: Dreams You Want To Hear About

These stories are annoying and boring:
1. The re-telling of one's dream (unless you play a pivitol role in said dream)
2. "I was so drunk last night, I played ___ games of beer pong with ________ who totally lost and ended up throwing up in the ________ and then ____ started hitting on this girl but she turned him away for ________ and then we had ____ shots of ____"
3. Cameron's ammendment to the "nothing is more boring than listening to someone describe their dream if you aren't in it" rule was "stories about one's acid trip are more boring." Agreed.

But, because of:
1. The Oscars (The only movies I saw this year were "Little Miss Sunshine," "The Break-Up," "Short Bus," "The Devil Wears Prada," "Borat," "Dreamgirls" and--NOT MY IDEA--"The DaVinci Code"), which involves "dreams" in the following contexts:
i. The movie "Dreamgirls" about a band called "The Dreams"
ii. Dreams, as in "Hopes and Dreams" and "I've dreamed of this day all my life," as well as Ellen's opening bit about dreams.
2. Haviland Stillwell, as Fantine in "Les Miserables" on Saturday Night at the Broadhurst Theatre on Broadway, who sang "I Dreamed a Dream," which was lovely. In addition to being a stunning performer (yes, I got a little teary, per usual when someone I love does something spectacular, which is um, often Haviland these days) Haviland's dresser performed some notable feats with her rack, via corset.

I present....


10. the movie "what dreams may come": so pretty. just turn off the sound?
This movie was so beautiful! It was also, I think, so so bad. Cuba Gooding Jr., who we all loved at the time because of his triumph in "Jerry Maguire," was totally mis-cast as like, an angel (or God? i don't remember) in this sentimental Thomas Kinkaid-esque visual romp through all things sentimental and glowy and orange-ish. And Robin Williams, who is a genius usually, was sort of like, bounding around in golden meadows and spouting off zingers like "A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in heaven." Obviously I cried during this movie, which I viewed at the Traverse City mall, because it was about finding dead people in the afterlife, which is clearly a sensitive topic for me and a frequent topic of my actual dreams. But also I really don't understand why it's such a frequent topic of movies. Do people want to be depressed? I guess people say the same thing to me about listening to so much Jeff Buckley. But anyhow wow! It still sure was pretty. Even if it was sometimes pretty in a Thomas Kinkaid way. I want these people to paint a mural in my room that feels like all our film-style imaginations could ever expect from fantasy-heaven.

9. dream whip zine
Because I've been aspiring to hipster-dom since I was old enough to read "Sassy" and wear unflattering clothing trends, my BFF and I made a zine (called "Lunette") in high school, which enabled us to write about ourselves for public consumption AND receive other zines for free. The best zine I ever read was "dream whip." I assumed that it was gone, like other casualties of the mid-nineties--my braces/rubberbands, "My So-Called Life," chain wallets, the expansive zine scene itself (yes, I know that zines are indeed alive and well, but the internet has cut into it somewhat)-- But dream whip, I have learned by a quick internet search, soldiers on. In fact, it is written by a filmmaker named Bill Brown, and you can buy his back issues through microcosm publishing. I still have my original copy. Here's some selections:

8. "Sleep to Dream" by Fiona Apple
"You say love is a hell you cannot bear, and I say gimme mine back and then go there for all I care." I mean, seriously. Fiona Apple, continue to writhe and hurt and sing forever, I will always, always love you, no matter what they say. Your mind and your body cannot be stifled by your deviant ways. You got your own hell to raise.

7. "I Have a Dream" by Martin Luther King, Jr.
That was a good one, huh, that speech? About people being judged by their insides and not their outsides? Like the Dove "love your body" ads but more ambitious and with less pictures? Yeah, that was a good one. I liked Martin Luther King day. We got to hold hands with other people and sing optimistic songs. We don't do that enough, really. Yay MLK!

6. Champagne Dreams
I keep hearing that term in my head as I think about this Sunday Top Ten. For some reason I thought it was a Death Cab or Belle and Sebastian song. Then, just now, I heard it in my head, remembered what it's from, and felt like a douchebag. Remember when 'Lives of the Rich and Famous' was special? Like, before all those VH1 shows with lots of graphics and facial pore experts talking about how much Paris Hilton spends on underwear? I actually never saw it to be honest with you. But people were doing Robin Leach imitations like he was Borat or something. When was that show even on? Who was on it? Is it on DVD? Can I take this chance to say I think it was awesome that Britney shaved her head, it was so like "fuck you, you people that want me to be this sexy teen schoolgirl bubblegum bullshit!" I mean, I know she's troubled, and needs help, etc etc, but seriously can you blame her? jesus.

5. My So-Called Life, Episode 19: "In Dreams Begin Responsibilities"
This is the episode where Angela gets the note from Jordan Catalano that breaks her heart right open, but in a good way. Except that Brian Krakow wrote it and she doesn't know who to pick---the nice boy who has a way with words, or Jordan Catalano? I would have to say Jordan Catalano. This is the last episode of "My So-Called Life" ever. I think I have the whole thing memorized from start to finish. "Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry 'till the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down; you could tell me to go to hell. I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano." One time someone wrote me a letter like that. I melted. I forgave.

4. Midsummer Night's Dream

I went through piles of old stuff at home over winter break (I still call it that, even though school's ancient history now, it still feels the same as it always did, you know?) and found this photo from "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which we did 50s style in the theater guild at Pioneer in like, 1845 or whenever that was. Centuries ago. Long ago in the then far before now. The then before me. This photo is important, and here's why:
1. It marks the very first time I wore a girl-costume in a play. Girls are often cast as boys in youth/teenaged theatrical productions, because there are never enough talented boys to fill all the boy roles. Since my body was much like a 13-year-old boy's until approx. my 16th year on earth, I was a shoo-in for boy-parts. I was "Robin," one of the mechanicals, or whatever, which is a boy, but I asked if I could wear a dress and be a girl and they were like "ok!" Actually, if I could hem that to mid-thigh, I'd totally still wear it. Like, right now.
2. This is the last photo my Dad ever took of me.

3. Dreamweaver (Wayne and Garth style)

This is how you can see if it's true love. When your special someone comes walking towards you, hair a-blowin' in the wind, if you hear "Dreamweaver" in your head, that means that you really love them, and want to shwing and then shoop. And then, if you are one of the 99% of the people in this world that found "Austin Powers" even slightly amusing (I am in the 1%), you can "shag." Basically, any time a hot woman comes on TV now, we're all hearing "Dreamweaver" in our heads if they play it or not.

2. Dream Dates in Junior High Notes
My 12-year-old BF and I would write each other really romantic notes about our deep secret desires. We expressed these through "dream dates," or stories we would make up about what we'd like to do together, which usually ended in a very satisfying smooch on the lips, or even a "french." They took place often at ski resorts by fires (including one improbable placement of a romantic fire on a snowy mountain), at school dances, or on schoolbusses. I think this was good practice for erotica writing later.

1. Haviland Stillwell singing "I Dreamed a Dream" in Les Miserables
I'm a little fidgety, especially during 3-hour tones on the French Revolution (right? I don't know, really), and so I did a lot of: dancing, stretching, sitting, doodling, annoying the people in front of us, but mostly I was in a state of complete ecstasy because I was wearing the most comfortable dress in the world, that I borrowed from Haviland ("borrowed"=took from her closet when I stopped at her apartment after work to change my clothes and look at myself, even though she wasn't home to grant me permission). This delight was only compounded by Haviland's performance, which I paid attention to. I got goosebumps, tears in my eyes, and all other possible physical reactions to see my best friend up there on a Broadway stage being a rock-star. When she was like "Tell Cosette I love her and I'll see her when I wake!" I was all like: "oh, sad!" Then I got up (literally, I was on the ground) when she returned from the dead to sing and be pretty in her nightgown. Before Hav was cast in this bohemoth, my knowledge of "Les Mis" was limited to the 10,000 renditions of "On my Own" I heard during 7th grade talent shows.

If you know what's good for you, there is still time: tomorrow at the Wednesday afternoon performance, Hav will be Fantine. GO!

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams or Whatever!


Anonymous said...

Riese i really like the themes of your top tens.

you got me thinking..listening to people's dreams has been annoying since middle school. but why do lovers think it's okay? in the morning like oh this is what i'm subconsciously worrying about our relationship...and you honey? i guess we've all done it..

and dreamweaver! lol!!! tOTALLY garth. i hear it all day, and definitely when paige comes on screen! oh yea other blog..

Tara said...

Hey Garth,

i. I forgot to mention--that's awesome about Haviland's performance @ Les Mis. I only recall one song from that: "Castle on a Cloud," cause've its sinister melody. Go BFs.

ii. Decided I can't stand Google Reader. Such whores.

iii. I'll add the Eurythmics "Sweet Dreams" and the Cranberries' "Dreams" though both're played. Also, Carlos Castaneda's lucid dreams, the Book of Daniel (my fave of the Hebrew Bible), Belteshazzar = Daniel = dream interpreter dude. And and and Joseph and the technicolor dream coat.

iv. I love zines and the Monkees. :)

v. And "Letter to Birmingham" (MLK).

Jeez. My coworkers're heckling me. Gotta run.

Sweet dreams har har har,

jenna lynn. said...

1.) cuba gooding was robin's guide - he helped him realize that he was dead - he was also his mentor when robin was young, but died... so in the movie robin's son chooses to be cuba when he dies in a carcrash, because cuba was robin's hero and his son wanted robin to see him that way too. - if that makes sense.

2.) i have the jordan/brian letter memorized too. i hate that they ended the show that way, or at all for that matter. boo! but at the same time, i feel like it wouldn't be so "special" (for lack of a better term) if it went any further than that.

3.) i almost teared up reading #2 of your #4

riese said...

a) i totally did it, i realize, if i think about it. whoever is in bed next to me in the morning is 100% likely to get a recap. actually, i can handle morning recaps. that's sort of like, in context. but like, at work, or at school or something? like, whatevs. am i in it? ok then.

b) wow i was so off about cuba's part. that's amazing!!

c) "dreams' by the cranberries (and b) dreams was one of my dad's favorite songs, oddly enough)--

i totally would have written about joseph too because i was in that musical. i played a boy of course. one of the brothers. i did not have a solo. that soundtrack is maddening.

i should have added sweet dreams, the sentiment. because i like it.

sweet dreams, sweet girls

Jaime said...

It's a good think I like your blog very much - I'd be mad at almost anyone else for getting "On My Own" stuck in my head, where it's gonna be stuck for a few days.

Anonymous said...

Smiles and hearts and love and junk.


p.s. I am the ONLY person who likes hearing other people's dreams...seriously, i would rather hear about that than most things people would probably want to talk to me about. but you know this.

Jaime said...

I actually like hearing people's dreams, too.

Anonymous said...

its been a long time since I've been lucky enough to read such witty writing. I read both your Blogs, totally looove your L word recaps...your so damn funny.

To change tack, have you found your perfect date yet?? A while back you posted about, why not to date you...are you kidding me?! Id so go there...your hot!!


Tara said...

Also, what you wrote about "What Dreams May Come" is how I felt about "Winged Migration." I was like, wow this is so pretty, and so f-in boring.

And, I actually read the Da Vinci Code. That sucked, seriously. So many insufferable narrative tricks. How to write a suspenseful bestseller: choose a controversial topic (Jesus' sex life), make each chapter 2-3 pages long tops, end each on a cliffhanger, embed a really bizarre traumatic main character flashback that involves cult sex, grandfathers and goats really early in the book but don't resolve it, so the reader keeps page-turning just to find out what happens in that memory. Plus all the historical shit's way off.

Anyway, back to work ... :)

riese said...

hmm...i like people who like hearing other peoples dreams. then they are more likely to want to hear me talk about my dreams, which means they are more likely to hear about a whole lot of things.

and rhee, re: perfect date-
um...isn't it fun that i use this blog to recruit dates and then don't talk about who i recruit? i promise if anything funny happens, i will write it here first.

nyr: yeah, i imagined i'd get trapped in it by the wiley techniques of cheesy mass market narrative, like i did with the entire gossip girl cannon. and that i would hate it the whole time. i felt like at least going to the movie would enable me to at least argue my side from some semblence of reason against those defending it as a quality piece of literature.

i'm not a snob, at all, i like, swear.

Tara said...

Testing testing, spam robot here. We shall overcome.

Anonymous said...

recruiting dates...where do I sign up?

;) a girls gotta try haha