Sunday Top 10: Dreams You Want To Hear About

These stories are annoying and boring:
1. The re-telling of one's dream (unless you play a pivitol role in said dream)
2. "I was so drunk last night, I played ___ games of beer pong with ________ who totally lost and ended up throwing up in the ________ and then ____ started hitting on this girl but she turned him away for ________ and then we had ____ shots of ____"
3. Cameron's ammendment to the "nothing is more boring than listening to someone describe their dream if you aren't in it" rule was "stories about one's acid trip are more boring." Agreed.

But, because of:
1. The Oscars (The only movies I saw this year were "Little Miss Sunshine," "The Break-Up," "Short Bus," "The Devil Wears Prada," "Borat," "Dreamgirls" and--NOT MY IDEA--"The DaVinci Code"), which involves "dreams" in the following contexts:
i. The movie "Dreamgirls" about a band called "The Dreams"
ii. Dreams, as in "Hopes and Dreams" and "I've dreamed of this day all my life," as well as Ellen's opening bit about dreams.
2. Haviland Stillwell, as Fantine in "Les Miserables" on Saturday Night at the Broadhurst Theatre on Broadway, who sang "I Dreamed a Dream," which was lovely. In addition to being a stunning performer (yes, I got a little teary, per usual when someone I love does something spectacular, which is um, often Haviland these days) Haviland's dresser performed some notable feats with her rack, via corset.

I present....

SUNDAY TOP TEN: 10 DREAMS YOU DO WANT TO HEAR ABOUT

10. the movie "what dreams may come": so pretty. just turn off the sound?
This movie was so beautiful! It was also, I think, so so bad. Cuba Gooding Jr., who we all loved at the time because of his triumph in "Jerry Maguire," was totally mis-cast as like, an angel (or God? i don't remember) in this sentimental Thomas Kinkaid-esque visual romp through all things sentimental and glowy and orange-ish. And Robin Williams, who is a genius usually, was sort of like, bounding around in golden meadows and spouting off zingers like "A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in heaven." Obviously I cried during this movie, which I viewed at the Traverse City mall, because it was about finding dead people in the afterlife, which is clearly a sensitive topic for me and a frequent topic of my actual dreams. But also I really don't understand why it's such a frequent topic of movies. Do people want to be depressed? I guess people say the same thing to me about listening to so much Jeff Buckley. But anyhow wow! It still sure was pretty. Even if it was sometimes pretty in a Thomas Kinkaid way. I want these people to paint a mural in my room that feels like all our film-style imaginations could ever expect from fantasy-heaven.


9. dream whip zine
Because I've been aspiring to hipster-dom since I was old enough to read "Sassy" and wear unflattering clothing trends, my BFF and I made a zine (called "Lunette") in high school, which enabled us to write about ourselves for public consumption AND receive other zines for free. The best zine I ever read was "dream whip." I assumed that it was gone, like other casualties of the mid-nineties--my braces/rubberbands, "My So-Called Life," chain wallets, the expansive zine scene itself (yes, I know that zines are indeed alive and well, but the internet has cut into it somewhat)-- But dream whip, I have learned by a quick internet search, soldiers on. In fact, it is written by a filmmaker named Bill Brown, and you can buy his back issues through microcosm publishing. I still have my original copy. Here's some selections:

8. "Sleep to Dream" by Fiona Apple
"You say love is a hell you cannot bear, and I say gimme mine back and then go there for all I care." I mean, seriously. Fiona Apple, continue to writhe and hurt and sing forever, I will always, always love you, no matter what they say. Your mind and your body cannot be stifled by your deviant ways. You got your own hell to raise.

7. "I Have a Dream" by Martin Luther King, Jr.
That was a good one, huh, that speech? About people being judged by their insides and not their outsides? Like the Dove "love your body" ads but more ambitious and with less pictures? Yeah, that was a good one. I liked Martin Luther King day. We got to hold hands with other people and sing optimistic songs. We don't do that enough, really. Yay MLK!

6. Champagne Dreams
I keep hearing that term in my head as I think about this Sunday Top Ten. For some reason I thought it was a Death Cab or Belle and Sebastian song. Then, just now, I heard it in my head, remembered what it's from, and felt like a douchebag. Remember when 'Lives of the Rich and Famous' was special? Like, before all those VH1 shows with lots of graphics and facial pore experts talking about how much Paris Hilton spends on underwear? I actually never saw it to be honest with you. But people were doing Robin Leach imitations like he was Borat or something. When was that show even on? Who was on it? Is it on DVD? Can I take this chance to say I think it was awesome that Britney shaved her head, it was so like "fuck you, you people that want me to be this sexy teen schoolgirl bubblegum bullshit!" I mean, I know she's troubled, and needs help, etc etc, but seriously can you blame her? jesus.


5. My So-Called Life, Episode 19: "In Dreams Begin Responsibilities"
This is the episode where Angela gets the note from Jordan Catalano that breaks her heart right open, but in a good way. Except that Brian Krakow wrote it and she doesn't know who to pick---the nice boy who has a way with words, or Jordan Catalano? I would have to say Jordan Catalano. This is the last episode of "My So-Called Life" ever. I think I have the whole thing memorized from start to finish. "Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry 'till the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down; you could tell me to go to hell. I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano." One time someone wrote me a letter like that. I melted. I forgave.

4. Midsummer Night's Dream
I went through piles of old stuff at home over winter break (I still call it that, even though school's ancient history now, it still feels the same as it always did, you know?) and found this photo from "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which we did 50s style in the theater guild at Pioneer in like, 1845 or whenever that was. Centuries ago. Long ago in the then far before now. The then before me. This photo is important, and here's why:
1. It marks the very first time I wore a girl-costume in a play. Girls are often cast as boys in youth/teenaged theatrical productions, because there are never enough talented boys to fill all the boy roles. Since my body was much like a 13-year-old boy's until approx. my 16th year on earth, I was a shoo-in for boy-parts. I was "Robin," one of the mechanicals, or whatever, which is a boy, but I asked if I could wear a dress and be a girl and they were like "ok!" Actually, if I could hem that to mid-thigh, I'd totally still wear it. Like, right now.
2. This is the last photo my Dad ever took of me.




3. Dreamweaver (Wayne and Garth style)
This is how you can see if it's true love. When your special someone comes walking towards you, hair a-blowin' in the wind, if you hear "Dreamweaver" in your head, that means that you really love them, and want to shwing and then shoop. And then, if you are one of the 99% of the people in this world that found "Austin Powers" even slightly amusing (I am in the 1%), you can "shag." Basically, any time a hot woman comes on TV now, we're all hearing "Dreamweaver" in our heads if they play it or not.



2. Dream Dates in Junior High Notes
My 12-year-old BF and I would write each other really romantic notes about our deep secret desires. We expressed these through "dream dates," or stories we would make up about what we'd like to do together, which usually ended in a very satisfying smooch on the lips, or even a "french." They took place often at ski resorts by fires (including one improbable placement of a romantic fire on a snowy mountain), at school dances, or on schoolbusses. I think this was good practice for erotica writing later.

1. Haviland Stillwell singing "I Dreamed a Dream" in Les Miserables
I'm a little fidgety, especially during 3-hour tones on the French Revolution (right? I don't know, really), and so I did a lot of: dancing, stretching, sitting, doodling, annoying the people in front of us, but mostly I was in a state of complete ecstasy because I was wearing the most comfortable dress in the world, that I borrowed from Haviland ("borrowed"=took from her closet when I stopped at her apartment after work to change my clothes and look at myself, even though she wasn't home to grant me permission). This delight was only compounded by Haviland's performance, which I paid attention to. I got goosebumps, tears in my eyes, and all other possible physical reactions to see my best friend up there on a Broadway stage being a rock-star. When she was like "Tell Cosette I love her and I'll see her when I wake!" I was all like: "oh, sad!" Then I got up (literally, I was on the ground) when she returned from the dead to sing and be pretty in her nightgown. Before Hav was cast in this bohemoth, my knowledge of "Les Mis" was limited to the 10,000 renditions of "On my Own" I heard during 7th grade talent shows.

If you know what's good for you, there is still time: tomorrow at the Wednesday afternoon performance, Hav will be Fantine. GO!

Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams or Whatever!