Thursday, August 07, 2008

Book Club #2 CONTEST: The Art of Auto-Winning is Not Hard to Master

Hi! Want a free book? Well, that's fine. Much like lunch, my least favorite meal, there is no such thing as free book. Books don't grow on trees.

For Oscar Wao, I made y'all email my brother birthday wishes, then mailed out two free book prizes -- one random, one merit-based. I have no birthdays to force you to participate in at this time, 'cause all my friends are Capricorns or Pisceses (how do you pluralize that word? Pisci?). Also I'm not Uh Huh Her, so I can't really make you run all over town drawing chalk pictures or whatever. Personally, I don't like chalk, it gets all over your hands and makes weird noises. Like men, kind of.

ANYHOW! If you want to nab a free copy of Auto-Win's next Book Club selection; Lying: A Memoir by Lauren Slater (I know I haven't responded to the comments on my last post yet but I will!) here's how to do it:

1. Link Drop FLIRT Street Team Contest
Hey, have you seen FLIRT! With Haviland Stillwell? Well, Hav & I are on a mission to make "FLIRT!'s Ro-Boat Super Special" the most viewed video of all time on Broadway World. That's because we reach for the stars/are insane.

How do you enter? It's easy and fast, like toast or a nymphomaniac.

-Go to a website you think attracts potential FLIRT fans (For example, links have already been dropped by self-motivated randoms on AfterEllen and R-Family message boards) and drop a link to this page -- in a comment, a post, a message board -- and feel free to be clever!

Here's the link:
BWW TV: Travel and FLIRT with Haviland Stillwell on the 'R Family Cruise'

-To prove you did it, take a screenshot of the link you dropped, and email it to me at In summary: Drop a link somewhere on the internets and you're automatically entered in a drawing to win a free copy of "LYING" and some auto-straddle stickers.

-If you're actually the operator/employee of a blog or website (e.g., if you are someone fabulous like Ariana Huffington, Lozo, Sloganx, the cast of The Office, Mrs. VH1 or Sarah Warn), you can just drop it there! Even if it's not Gizmodo or Post-Secret you'll still be in the raffle. Easy-peasy, we all auto-win!

-If you do something totally amazing (massive exposure, superb context of link drop) that blows me away I'll give you a free book. (e.g., a comment that accurately imitates the linguistic stylings of commenters who say things like: "omg haviland will u marry me i know im in ghana lol but this video is SOOOO HOTTT!!!" or whatever it is kids are saying these days).


2. Auto-Gear
Anyone who orders auto-gear (Auto-Win Tank Tops, Really Papi t-shirts, Auto-Straddle briefs) over the next week will also get a free copy of "Lying."

This only applies to orders made on August 7th after this blog is posted. So RIGHT NOW. Until August 14th.

Also, re: Auto-Gear -- it has come to our collective attention that the "Really Papi? Really?" t-shirts are sized oddly. For example; I'm a thin lady but I'm most comfortable in a L or XL, though technically I can fit into a small. I just like shirts with some breathing room. So keep that in mind if you're reasonably sized, I'd buy a size larger than you normally get. It's SEXY! Also, Papi's coming back. FYI.

ALSO! Also. Don't pick the paying-for-stickers option, 'cause I'll send you those for free. Because unlike books, stickers DO grow on trees.


Vashti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eric mathew said...

Wait. I am confused about the contest. I have read it like 3 times.

Can I make a short film? It will be worth it.

I think...

I'm not sure why I don't understand it as much though...

Vashti said...

so i deleted my last comment. after thinking about it, the whole auto-refresh plan seemed dishonest and not at all what you guys are going for anyway.

howevs, i'm still really excited for this next book. now i just need to find out how to get a hold of a copy [since i won't be competing in the contest. i don't frequent sites where i could effectively link drop.]

also, just pointing out, the video is already the second most popular right now. so that's a plus. =]

Adam said...

I know pink is the new black and all, but I somehow doubt I could pull off the tank.

Dave "Boy Shorts" Lozo said...

This is tough. I like boy shorts, but I hate reading books. I need to think about this.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Sooo I finally watched this ep of FLIRT! (With Haviland Stillwell, Superstar) and I've got a total celeb crush on Cortney Wolfson. For the record.

That is all.

The love for Hav is implicit. ;)

Awesome fucking editing job, Riese.

riese said...

eric mathew: You don't need to make a film, just drop a link to the video somewhere on the internet, that's all. Very simple. Then send me a screenshot of it and I'll enter you in a contest to win the book.

vashti: Oh, I don't have a lot of morality when it comes to boosting traffic. Auto-refresh away ... and you can drop a link anywhere, it doesn't matter if you frequent it or if it's irrelevant. OOO, second most popular? I don't even know where to find the rankings, we just get reports from the boss.

Adam: You never know you could become Orlando in neon. And there's always the link drop option.

Dave "Boy Shorts" Lozo: I know, next time honey we'll just watch a video.

the brooklyn boy: Cortney is a stunning gift of physical perfection given to us by a heavenly power on his or her very best day of people creation. It is almost unbelivable, really.

(and re: the editing, thanks!!!)

Vashti said...

i love auto-refresh but i never get to use it. now i actually have an excuse for having the firefox extension.

here's how i know the vid's second. just click on the 'most popular' tab. i'm not really sure if that's an all-time thing though..

caitlin said...

i have a lot of feelings about all this. first of all, totally amazing that you referenced uh huh her and their crazy contest. for reals, i was thinking we could rent a plane and have them spell uhh in the sky. we'd win for sure!! umm just kidding i don't enter contests anymore. i feel like i have played a big part of getting flirt out there and should get a book for free, just cause last time even though i sent lewis an email apparently i couldn't be part of the contest!! this being friends with the blogger thing is not working out for me. oh, which leads me to the next thing. i was just reading your comments back to everyone on the last post. so kind of you to write back to everyone, it's one of my favorite auto-features. i was reading, i was laughing, then i got to this:

meghan: you're like the best reader ever. yay book club!

care to explain? just saying, playing favorites is never a good thing. i may boycott this book club. also, if you read this book will save your life, i cannot promise that i will save you when you try to kill yourself. you've been warned. love you wheeeee.

stef said...

dear cait, if i ever have a contest on my imaginary blog you'll be automatically entered and maybe you'll win a free trip to brooklyn on the subway!!!!!!

umm auto-stickers don't grow on trees... they grow under my bed. please remind me to bring them to our next team meeting.

also my word verification is 'ugghk.' seriously. this is how i feel right now.

Mercury said...

I think the plural of Pisces, is Pisces.

Like the plural of moose, is moose.

I'm Pisces! go team. You're like libra or something right? September or October?

I'm actually gonna read this one on time instead of way later. Be proud of me.

word ver: wowlim

riese said...

vashti: oooo! awesome. Good to know. I love how I cannot fnd my way around that g-damn site but others ca.

caitlin: You're going to change your tune about being friends with a blogger when I get an airplane and put our names in the sky and we get famous and win contests! When's Common Reaction gonna come out, I'm ready, where's our advance copies.

You're the best reader ever, hands down totes. I mean if reading was french fries, you'd be Arby's curly fries and everyone else would be McDonald's fries. I know you haven't enjoyed either of those things, but you will. No wait, you'd be yam fries! I think I've told you face-to-face what a great reader you are. Doesn't that count for something? I love you wheeeee!

stef: Don't forget to bring the stickers to the next team meeting. There's probs Sparlem monsters under your bed who can't seem to find their way out.

mercury: really? I tried "Pisci" but that didn't seem to work. I'm a Libra/Virgo., right on the cusp. I think I'm a Virgo these days. I actually don't know anything about astrology. Read read read!

Leah said...

Im a little late on this, but when does book club#2 begin? I just checked for the book with my local library (seattle!!) and found thats its checked in! Im spoiled, so I have it sent/couriered/beamed over to my branch. Tomorrow, Ill begin it cuz Im sure youre a faster reader than I. My point is, I wanna participate this time and this author seems great, seeing as Im obsessed with anything psychology-related. Her other titles seem intriguing, too.