Monday, March 24, 2008

Broken Down and Hungry for your VLOG

Today there's three L Words -- 1. Lozo Vlog, 2. Episode 512 (Finale!) Recap: Loyal & True -- [in which I'm less funny than I've ever been -- but at last, finally, at last, at last: done.] Speaking of "last": 3. Seven Last Sayings of Jesus on the Cross. I'd never heard of them before, but it came up today 'cause today was a big Jesus day for all you Christians (I'm a Jew, p.s.), and today was also a day with many implied associations to rebirth all over the place, though I spent most of it in my room writing the recap. I think some of the seven are appropriate for the top feelings I have after finishing-an-L Word recap: "I thirst," "forgive them for they know not what they do," "it is finished." Apparently mid-recap feelings include actually taking a break for a few hours on Saturday night to color with Chase, Semicolon and Angelica. I love Bunnies, there's chocolates in the living room on the table.

Lozo Thong

Not only is it time for a fresh new Lozo vlog, but I'd also like to announce that if you want to comment to Lozo, who no longer takes comments on his own blog, about college basketball, beer, girls, college basketball, movies Lozo hates, that HBO show Lozo hates, and I think also baseball, please share your feelings here. Who will win the big game? Who is going to bat a thousand homers? Say so, he'll get back to you, like Dear Abby.
Today we thought about how long it's been since last Easter Weekend. A million years, it'd seem, have shot star-like since then, since last Easter weekend when the photographer from [redacted] magazine spent most of my hours shooting me & my then-girlfriend & my friends for The Little Article That Couldn't. We've still not seen these photos, but Chase has some Lainy took from the afternoon she came over to get shot. The L Word had already ended by then, though, Easter's early this year ... the photographer had an old school camera and set up every shot like a painting. You can see the camera a little bit on the side here:

Riese & Chase, Easter Weekend '07
My love
Semiprecious & stoned
In the shoulder season we hold on
Though I am dismal & have no dope
Siphoned off behind pink Easter
I fake an optimism
Just to breathe—Just thinking of him for once &
The Wandering Jew that ate my sunshine
But I know flowers like Zorro was my dad
Those garlands of thin hissing lasers
So with the “sexy isotherms
Of semiotics” we meet again at the Kiev
To check chemistry. They bring the lights
Down on those cherry pies & like cryogenics
It sorta works. This time my love
The salt doll of night egging us on
Straight to the zeppelin mooring
With she-has-a-bit-of-the-neardamned-in-her-
Like-when-a-cloud-dies construed as
Well, all right, I’ve seen worse.
from "A Good Year Down" by Jeni Ollin
Okay, turn up the sound, kids, 'cause Lozo's not a big enunciator. This is sort of a quickie, in honor of Lozo's favorite way to do it. JK. In honor of Speed Itself. Also watch for special appearances by Semicolon and her jazz hands. We discuss topics like Lozo's bachelorhood, all the ways he's deceived me, and how nice his shoulder is. Also if you haven't read my the interview with me on the dirty girls blog, you better do it now, 'cause it's awesome!



Mercury said...

First comment. I win.
Like the very fact that there have been no comments yet means I have to think of something to say.

My number-one feeling right now is stomach pain, and number 2 is tired.

Also, I totally forgot about Easter, like that there is one and that they've come before and usually you're expected to celebrate it esp. if you know small children, which I do know small children but I do not have any and I celebrate all holidays with abstinence from celebration.

Lozo said...

i am utterly amazed how you managed to extract more funny from our vlogging when i'm talking in my low, sexy, inaudible voice 80 percent of the time. subtitles were a great idea. your fantastic editing skills really saved the day. you're getting another first-place vote.

Alicia said...

So you and Lozo are actually dating though right?

Your kids would be cute...

...but would also need a lot of therapy pretty much straight out of the womb.

Like how I jumped from dating to kids? That is why all relationships are ridiculous.

eric mathew said...

-oh lozo don't tease.
-i think there should be a web based series called "Love for Lozo" and it can be like Tila.
-semicolon and her jazz hands were fierce.
-tatu...remember how like mtv said they were so controversial at first?
- that crazy sound effect was hysterical. great editing on this one.

p.s. loved your youtube comment. so true.

riese said...

merc: I anti-celebrate all holidays too, which makes it even stranger that I've somehow been involved in a number of Easter type activities, although I am not a Jew. I think I posted this on your time, again, yeah? Like, when you used to get first comment more often.

lozo: You said so many nice things to me in this comment that I'm going to have to put it in our scrapbook.

alicia: OK I'm 95% sure you're kidding about me and lozo dating right? Our kids would be insane, for sure, but tall. And likely brawny. We've already discussed and decided against it. Part of the problem being that I like girls, and he likes fake boobs.

eric mathew: If Lozo had his own reality dating show, I hope it'd be bisexual like Tila. Although that would be teasing, and kinda cruel ... and if I didn't know him I'd rant about it, but since I do know him, I think I'd watch it and love every every minute.

Crystal said...

I missed out on Easter, it seems that crossing the International Date Line robbed me of the entire weekend. Also - I really dug your interview, nice one. Also - I'm at work and making everyone watch the uh oh her video. This is all I have to offer right now, I'm super jet-lagged.

Lozo said...

your boobs aren't fake? wtf?

and i think there is a joke there if you combine the "cross the International Date Line" thing with the comment about us dating.

Bokolis said...

Y'all two should just get on with it...lookin' like Popeye and Olive.

alicia said...

I'm also about 95% sure I'm joking.
Your kid would be a great addition to a woman's baseball league... a tall baseball fan with penchant for women in locker rooms.

Anonymous said...

i love lozoooooo, wear haviland!?!?!??!?!?!, the blonde is annoying, are you guys twins?

oh wait sorry, i forgot this wasn't youtube and i might have to know proper english. well done guys, well done.

xo caittt

a;ex said...

OMG cait that was amazing I LOLed so hard just now. I think it's time for comment contest #2 and you totally win.

oh! and the Popeye/Olive comparison - brill! I might totally agree with that comment.

Jaime said...

The whole no-speakers-on-my-work-computer thing was getting in the way of my vlogwatching for a while (I'm on vacay this week, hence using my home computer), so this is the first Lozo-vlog I've seen. It was lovely to see the person who's so handily just kicked my ass, twice at the same time, at scrabulous, in the video-flesh. Nice dimples.

riese said...

crystal - your cameo is gonna blow their mind should also make them all comment on youtube, like "at least she's not monkey see monkey do" and so forth

lozo - i tried thinking of what that joke might be, and then my head started hurting

bokolis - aw. except i don't wear long dresses like olive, not figure flattering.

alicia - they'd be clumsy basketball players but i can tell you one thing they would have really nice shoulders.

caitttt - ohmg i dont think you 4real love UHH

a;ex - TOTALLY WIN? How original was that compared to a gazillion comments she gets PAID to WRITE?

riese said...

jaime - and what you wouldn't believe is that he was filming that vlog while he was beating you at scrabulous. and his other hand was also busy. this joke had an idea, which it then lost.

Lozo said...

oh come on. we split those games. and i think what the joke riese is going for here is i was finger-banging her while coming up with the word quartzy.

p.s. omg! i miss hav! where is she?!?!?! lol!

.elida. said...

"i have no legs. i have no legs."

Haha. Awesome. Nice reference to KIDS. PS, that movie made me really uncomfortable, but I still quote that part all the time.

Also, I was at work yesterday and found this poster on the wall that said "got feelings?" And I instantly thought of you. Is that weird?

Anyway, I'm gonna put it in my next blog post that I hope to have posted by tomorrow. :)

Jaime said...

I don't even know how to count to two, so blinding are the dimples.

e. said...

Um, I vote for more a;ex--jazzy hands and backwards somersaults are the best.

I'm basically a complete holiday opportunist, I will happily borrow from most any religion when it suits, so the chocolatey deliciousness and cute baby animals make Easter a winner in my books. (I'm not sure what eggs and rabbits have to do with the resurrection of Jesus, but I don't get worked up about it, I'm sure He'd have been a fan.) The best part of Easter is egg-decorating, Ukrainian-style. Pysanky! They're usually super pretty, because even if you're inexperienced at making them you can always just eat the ugly/boring ones and keep the good-looking ones, like eugenics or America's Next Top Model (theoretically). There's actually a giant Ukrainian Easter egg in Vegreville, Alberta--I think it's like, supposed to commemorate the Mounties. Because in Canada, Royal Mounted Police Force = giant Easter egg. Obvs.

Anyway, nice vlog, too bad about Lozo's tiny bladder, he probs always misses the halftime shows at his sporting events.