And they were all in pointed hats, caught in a rebel birthday shout

Hello! Today is John Coltrane's 27th birthday and today I turn 62, which means I'm officially old enough to get into Cedar Point, roller coaster capital of the world, for only $19.99, and order from the Senior Menu at Bob Evans Restaurant. Clearly a road trip to Ohio is in order.

Last year, for my 26th birthday, I was in a bit of a "state" which inspired me to shun all my friends' offers for traditionally exciting birthday activities in favor of spending the day walking from South Street Seaport to Harlem by myself while listening to a rape memoir on audiobook. It was very cathartic, all my friends thought I was crazy (true) and when I got back home, Haviland brought me soft-serve and we had a platonic sleepover, one of our top ten favorite activities. This year she won't be here, 'cause she's in Los Angeles, did you see her in her cute green dress at the Heroes red carpet thing on NBC tonight? We did!

This year I have nowhere to walk to or from, this year I am what I am and who knows what will happen besides of course the Early Bird special, dinner and drunkathon with my friends and some preventative botox. For the incredibly compelling recap of everything I've ever done on my birthday ever, check out this post from last year.

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I hope to receive some anti-aging products from Oil of Olay to keep my thighs perky and punctual because speaking of the days of the year -- this Sunday I'll be participating in a photo shoot for the Sex Blogger Calendar. That's right, I'm gonna be in not one but TWO calendars next year, like the song "Calendar Girl," June, July, August, September, October, I'm alive!

This is the part where I provide an enticing and sexy blurb on my blog about the Sex Blogger Calendar. Howevs, like most things I'm involved in where I was invited by anyone besides Haviland, I'm not 100% sure why I've been asked to participate (which makes it even more exciting!) probs because of Tinkerbell, who btw is really excited and has lots of outfits picked out. She's a natural. Despite my relative certainty that perhaps they meant to ask someone else, I'm super pumped about doing it FOR REAL! Yay! I just hope all the other girls are nice to me, and no-one asks me if I actually blog about sex. It's being sponsored by Eden Fantasies so I hope to get a free dildo or something. Probs not, but maybe I can just touch one.

Furthermore, apparently all my co-models (inlcuding Waking Vixen who hosted that sex panel I was on for her book Naked on the Internet, RKB who hosts that reading series I did and edited that book I was in, Jayme Waxman who is awesome, Sugarbutch who is a famous lesbian blogger that I demolished in the lesbian blog contest and Lux Alwayshasanewlastname who was also on the sex panel with me) all have burlesque costumes (the required dress code) handy ... I kinda don't, and it'd seem American Apparel boy-briefs are not appropriate for burlesque. I've had three alternative costume ideas so far:

1. Burlesque in Winter (intended to cover as much of my body as possible)
2. Little Edie does Burlesque (an excuse to pull out the American flags and do the flag dance, because I love freedom)
3. Recreating the famous K.D. Lang/Cindy Crawford Vanity Fair photo-shoot with a burlesque twist. I'd get a hot wig and play Cindy Crawford and Sugarbutch could be K.D. Lang.++
++This is what I'm supposed to tell you about the calendar: "Twelve of NYC’s most dynamic literary and sex positive women -writers, sex educators, film makers, and ordinary women - are joining together in order to support Audacia Ray’s Sex Work Awareness Project. We are some of the New York area’s best and brightest, and we want to see the stigma associated with sex work and workers removed.

In our limited edition 2009 calendar we will be “taking if off” at the Slipper Room. All profits from the sale of this calendar will go directly to Sex Work Awareness. The poses will be fun and flirty and burlesque themed, with no graphic nudity. Think costumes, corsets, pasties and g-strings.

Stacie Joy, whose specialty is burlesque and New York nightlife, is our amazing photographer. We also have the cooperation of two wonderful graphic designers, Sinclair and Jack, working together to make this project a smashing success."

Then I'll tell you that you can sponsor this project by purchasing a "day" on the calendar or other advertising opps which are all described here and are very reasonably priced and you should do it, especially you Lozo. Obviously you will be buying the calendar, unless I look fat or chinless in the picture, in which case I will pretend like it never happened.

That being said, I obviously am a huge advocate for Sex Workers Rights and have a lot of things to say on that topic ... and I'll share all of my feelings as the project goes on ... perhaps after I find an outfit that doesn't make me look like a 12-year old boy. It's gonna be hot and fun and I'm really looking forward to Sunday, 'cause I like having other people do my makeup and play with my hair.

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What do I want for my birthday? Well, the right answer is that I don't want anything. Besides Egyptian Cotton sheets, an apartment, world peace, love, Barack Obama for President and for everyone to be nice to everyone forever. I want so many things.

Tinkerbell wants cash money, Obama wants your support, and I want y'all to participate in the book club discussion if you read the book. But you can participate even if you didn't read the book, since not reading the book is a metaphor for how you probably really feel, which's that you read the book.

See you on the Raptor!! Wheeee!! (a Raptor, FYI, is a rollercoaster, which is a metaphor for how I feel about life, because of my Mom, who birthed me 72 years ago in a wagon down by the river, like Moses.)
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Young Haviland & her brother wish Riese a Time Travel Happy Birthday!
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The book club discussion will keep on going in the post below, so hop to it, kiddos, and I will too.