Thursday, June 14, 2007

Recap: Naked on the Internet Panel


Just talked to T-Mobile: the thief downloaded games onto my phone. Apparently this's a gift in disguise as the games'll be mine when I retrieve my "SIM card" or whatevs? I hope it's Trivial Pursuit or "a game called reading great works of literature." Games on phones? Seriously? How bored is this guy? I mean, doesn't he have other stuff to steal?


[L to R: Waking Vixen/Audacia Ray, Marie Lyn Bernard/Muppet Monkey Face, Lux Nightmare, Madeline in the Mirror, Ellen Fredrichs.]

i. The Red Carpet, 5:45 P.M.:
TB: Do you get nervous about public speaking?
Me: No. That's the problem. I don't get nervous enough. I just say whatever comes into my head, like whatever crazy shit I think'd be funny or cool, I've been told I have weird public speaking tics ... hand gestures, etc ... And that I play with my hair a lot. I'm generally impossible to watch, is what I think.

[Things I didn't do that I was scared I might do: mention anyone specifically, talk about my personal sex life, be totally snarky/annoying, talk too much, employ off-color humor, drink beforehand, play with my hair a lot, laugh inappropriately, talk about crazy exes/crazy self.]

[Something else I didn't do: mention the name of my blog or anything else that woulda given me self-promotional benefits. Whoops. That's okay. I did it for fun! Actually, it was fun. I love talking about this kind of stuff. Seriously. Besides! FIVE present peoples already link to me: Waking Vixen, Jayme Waxman, RKB, my girlfriend and Steph, so I auto-won like, 5% of the room already!]

[I didn't do anything annoying, my friends said I was clever and funny and said good things/made good points, and ... and ... I actually agree with them ... I think.]

[Is this what it's like to go to class having done the reading? I mean, I read the book! I read the whole thing!]

I wore a cute outfit. My lucky cowboy boots, lucky black dress, etc.


"My most solitary endeavor--blogging--was responsible for bringing me to the darkest places in my Internet travails, because it brought me deeper into my own head. Ironically, it also brought me the most comfort and community with other women. Perhaps this is because many women come to blogging--especially sex and relationship blogging--with a sense of restlessness, aloneness, and the general frustration of being misunderstood--plus a serious compulsion to write."
-Audacia Ray, Naked on the Internet


ii. my first

6:45 P.M.:

We take the W train to Union Square, because we're retarded. Waking Vixen'd asked me to arrive @MoSex by 6:30. Obvs it was 6:45. This was karmic timing, 'cause we ultimately emerged via R-train at 28th street, just as Stephanie was walking by, en route to the reading.

[Summer 2004: "When people ask how I met you [Stephanie], I tell them we met in Union Square. Because we did. I just leave out the part beforehand--you know. The craigslist part." Old-School Auto-Win fans may remember Stephanie from September /October /November. In her East Village apartment that '04 summer, though, before I knew anyone--before I knew myself: a futon, Thai take-out, whirring air conditioner, space thick with smoke, Radiohead. I thought, there's people out there like me who are also afraid of people, afraid to leave their cave, but also beautiful and interesting and cool and fun. We had a few incarnations in each other's lives, and I was super-happy when she told me she'd be coming, as I haven't seen her since December.]


stephanie. met on internet, july '04.
Stephanie: What're you gonna talk about?
Me: No clue.



This's me making Waking Vixen laugh.
She's like "Ha! I'm so glad I invited this totes weirdo to my panel!"
Probs everyone was laughing, that's how funny I am.
JK. Probs the panel and my friends were laughing.



iii. Represent.

My posse of young 'uns on the far left of the room are the coolest kids in school. First off ...

7 p.m.: Panel begins.
7:05 p.m.: TB arrives, after enjoying a cigarette outside.

tb, met on internet, february '07.


7:15 p.m.: Krista arrives, looking earnest/clutching sleeves.

krista. met at interlochen arts academy, september 1997.
krista is my sister. not by blood or anything. but she is.

7:20 p.m.: Lainy, Tara, Vicky and Tara's 18-year-old male cousin arrive.
Tara's wearing a denim mini and a tank top reading "Dirty Kitty." Lainy's donned hot pink, obvs.
Later during panel, I will say: "I write about my friends on my blog," they will laugh, I will point: "I write about all those kids on my blog."

tara. met on internet, march '05.


lainy. met via tara, summer '05.
Later, Re: Who's on these internet dating sites?, I'll reflect that it's the same ten people on every site, the same people you already know. [Though I haven't been on 'em in about two years, so I'm sure the climate's changed since then.] I'll be referring specifically to the fact that, while interning at nerve, I'd do frequent searches and Lainy always came up as my number one "match." I was like: NERVE! I already know Lainy, duh, I'm talking to her on AIM right now!


7:30 p.m.: Matty arrives.

matty. met at CAKE party, summer '05.
lived across the street from me and krista.
krista informed me immediately: NOW HE'S MARRIED. WHAT?!!!

iv. The Fringes

Re: Advantages to online dating.

Me: "You don't have to leave your apartment, is the main thing."

*

1998, The New Yorker.
from "On the Fringes of the Physical World," by Meghan Daum:
"All the tangible stuff--the trees outside, my friends, the weather--fell away. I could physically feel my brain. My body did not exist. I had no skin, no hair, no bones; all desire had converted itself into a cerebral current that reached nothing but my frontal lobe. Lust was something not felt but thought. My brain was devouring all of my other organs and gaining speed with each swallow. There was no outdoors, the sky and wind were irrelevant. There was only the computer screen and the phone, my chair, and maybe a glass of water."

*

v. Naked on Waking Vixen's Arm

Circa 8 P.M., I notice AR's tat. Her tattoo is not kidding around. I've tracked down a photo for you, from her blog:

Speaking of tattoos, from a convo a month or so ago:

"You're so precious, you're like the cutest girl in the world, and I'm so dark ... like Satan over here ... like ... RAWR. I'm such more of a robot than you. Look at your stuff..all your little stuff...your little iBook and your pink iPod, you're like, I'm gonna get a tattoo of a chai on my thigh, and I'm like. I wanna get tattoos on my wrists like the CRUCIFIXION, you know?"
-TB


vi. Lusting for the Lusty Lady
For a while, I was considering a regular Auto-Win feature called "My Secret Obsessions." Then I realized this'd be a short feature, as my only secret obsession is Rachel Kramer Bussel. I read at her In the Flesh reading series last year, and she wrote really nice things about me. But I'm obsessed with her because I think she's the most productive person on earth. Does she know of some secret Time-Management Super-Powers?

Me: Do you think RKB will be there?
TB: Obviously. Totally.

Why am I obsessed with RKB? And why didn't she say hi to me--though I also didn't say hi to her? Is it because like me, she's also kind of shy in this weird selective way? Is it because I seem hostile or annoying or obsessed?

I could think about this all day. Instead, I blog, because that's what bloggers do, when not having cybersex on the internet. JK, I never have cybersex.

Which's why I mainly spoke on topics like blogging/life, relationships, internet dating, etc., and hushed up during discussions of porn/sex work/etc. OK: actually, I said stuff on those topics too, because I'm a big fan of inserting my uneducated P.O.V on everything.

Anyhow back to RKB.

It's my secret desire to sit inside her brain and watch the neurons fire. Instead, I read all of her blog entries, though not the cupcake blog, because I don't like lusting for things I can't have. [There're no nearby cupcake factories, I think.] RKB goes to everything and reads every book ever and blogs everything. She's like a one-woman Fleshbot.

AND she blogs about her relationships and her feelings--which's a topic we discussed at the panel, actually--how to handle getting personal on one's blog, what to show and what to reveal, how to handle this with your partners and friends--It's a compelling and persistent issue, and the choice to do so [to choose to blog about one's "personal life"] is increasingly rare--

Personally [ha! get it? Personally?!] I think there's been a mass blogger exodus over the past year or so, as blogs' ubiquity has increased, away from discussing the intimate/personal. It's frowned upon, often, as "dirty laundry," etc. There's arguments to be made on both sides. I said: "I do it sometimes but generally try to avoid it, try balance, I used to be more personal than I am now that my audience's bigger. Sometimes I wish I could block my ten closest friends but let 4,000 strangers read it. You know? Also, when I do blog about personal things, it's usually because I'm hoping to you know--touch on larger issues, or something someone else might relate to, you know--[Miss America voice]--help people."

Waking Vixen shouted out my Sunday Top Tens. My friends laughed. That was awesome.

So, RKB!

She posts at least six blogs a day, hosts reading series, interviews people for mediabistro/gothamist/everyone and publishes like, 100 articles a week for HuffPo/Village Voice/NY Post/everyone, edits or appears in 10,000 erotica anthologies, and often blogs about how she's really just a nerd who's sometimes lonely and up w/insomnia Amazon-searching new books to read. How's that possible? She's the busiest person on earth! She's making cupcakes! She's getting spanked! She's having relationships! She's RKB!

I considered devising a mathematical formula to determine exactly how she does what she does, but then I thought: Riese, this's why you don't get anything done, weirdo.

Excerpts from E-Mail exchange, August 2006:

To: RKB
From: Me

... I know this sounds like an odd question, but how do you manage your time so well? When I read your blog, it seems like the amount of creative output and the amount of reading of other people's creative output that you do is really impressive! How does she do it, one might ask? And so I am. Share your wisdom, as I'm attempting to craft a similar rate of productivity myself.

To: Me
From: RKB

... briefly, um, I don't know how I get so much done but in large part I use one thing to procrastinate on another. Really. And do a lot at my day job, and, just, am crazy really.

When I received that email, I was mostly stunned that she also has a DAY JOB?!! She must never sleep! I'm crazy too, but I feel like I haven't done anything.

Side note about a book I did finish reading, which's a miracle these days: Naked on the Internet, the book.

I suspect I was in the minority of people present who'd actually read the whole thing cover-to-cover. Read, losers. Buy it!

RKB arrived at 7:30. I know this because TB wrote it down immediately, and we gave each other a look. A "RKB is here, obvs," look.



vii. From "The Comments" to my Sunday Top Ten


TB dropped her Blackberry on the floor within about 15 minutes of the panel's commencement. I wanted to pee in my pants, but instead I was like; Whats up, that's my girlfriend reading Gawker on her Blackberry. She was like "Sorry, got it," and held it up to reassure everyone she could return to whatever she was doing, let's all move on as planned.




So first Waking Vixen read from her book, then we discuss topics, then people from the audience asked questions.


viii. Some things I remember

Q: What motivates women to get involved in pornography?
A: "Money."

[Lux Nightmare had a much longer and more complicated answer that did not involve money. She actually has information and experience from which to speak. I've got none. Also, a lot of alt-porn stars don't get paid! I learned that in Naked on the Internet.]

Q: Do y'all feel weird about the world knowing your business?
A: I mostly just feel weird about my grandparents.

Q: How do you blog about sex and still retain dignity and a sense of self?
A: I only blog about 90210. Dignity what?

Q: Are there any websites like ManHunt for women?
A: Dude, if you're a woman that wants to have sex like, right now? You could have sex with anyone in the whole world that you wanted to. You could post an ad on craigslist and get like, 150 responses. LIFE IS MANHUNT FOR WOMEN.

Q: Are there axe murderers on the internet?
A: "Yes." JK! Just me. Actually I feel that axes are very old school. I prefer lasers like from Star Wars.

Lux: Some of the Suicide Girls were allegedly only paid in underwear.
Me: It was really cute underwear.

[note: I'm not a Suicide Girl. But I did write a story for an erotica anthology they were putting together once upon a time that never came to fruition. That's fine. Like I said, my favorite thing on earth is to write things for free. In fact, that's how I make a living, and slowly deteriorate into insanity. Not the productive kind of insanity, like RKB's, but the other kind. Whatever the other kind is.]

*

Krista: So Matty's MARRIED.
Me: You're married?
Matty: Yup.
Me: Wow! Congratulations.
Matty: [monotone, unenthused.] Thanks.
Me: When'd you get married?
Matty: Tuesday.
Me: Wow! How's married life so far?
Matty: Sucks.
Me: Oh! Okay. Um.
Matty: Yeah.
Me: Already?
Matty: Yup.
Me: OK! Um.

*

"I love how those guys had to qualify their questions with I heard you on The Brian Lehrer Show today like I heard about this on legitimate media I was listening to NPR, this isn't normally my thing."

-Krista


Afterwards, we dined at Dragonfly. It was fabulous to see everyone, especially now that I think I'm getting sick. My throat, nose and body hurts real bad. I'm drinking tea. I think I need some apples or something. Someone sign me up for the Fruit of the Month club, thanks.

I've got a postcard super-glued to my desk of William Burroughs trying to stab Jack Kerouac with a dagger.

28 comments:

Dacia said...

You're the cutest thing ever... but you know, in an empowered way.

Rachel said...

Best. Post. Ever. You are awesome and you rocked on the panel - all of you did. There should be a part 2 (for which I will be on time, swear!).

riese said...

Aw, thanks Waking-Vixen/RKB.

For Part 2, I will juggle and sell underwear. Because I'm going to make auto-win and auto-straddle underwear, and I will not exploit anyone in the process.

tb: I can't respond to your comment, because you are like, here, which makes me feel silly. Or whathaveyou.

Tara said...

as much as i would love a devil kitty shirt i must clear up the fact that my awesome pink with white trim urban outfitters tank actually reads "Dirty Bird" but thanks for the hot pic of me u posted...ya williamsburg...you know what else we did that weekend???!!!! ummm. bye

riese said...

Damn! I was thinking "Is that really what it said, Marie?" I mean ... wouldn't that just be toooo perfect? I'd go back and correct it in the post itself ... but I sort of like it that way, yeah? Hm...

Razia said...

Wow you've sure met a lot of people through the net. I've only met one person from the net in real life, it was pretty cool and all but we lost touch after that really. Funny thing is though, the day after I read this post she called me, no joke. This is why I love reading your posts coz they either tell a tale closely linked to something thats recently happened or they predict the future...in some roundabout way. Totally 12/10 for relatability.

PS. I was on the phone with my friend and I said "totes" instead of totally just out of the blue, then I paused and was like um did i just say totes? and she was like yeah what is a tote? and I was all like omg i just said totes. This went on for 5 minutes. Clearly she had no idea wat was going on and must think I am insane now.

PPS. How many times did I like, say "like" in that like PS. Like whoa.

Lux said...

I love this! So glad I got to meet you, btw.

riese said...

RAZIA! Obviously there're weird cross-continental psychic things going on. I don't know how it ended up that I met so many people through the internet. Actually, I guess I just met Stephanie and Tara, and then Tara met like, 10,000 people on the internet, who she then introduced me to. And TB, obvs.

Re: totes ... I've gotten a lot of correspondences from readers in which they mention their new [over] usage of the word "totes." Like 'Riese! I keep saying 'totes'! It's so bad!' But I think it's awesome. Like Really Papi Really? I also think that's awesome.

Re: What is a tote? It is a brand of handbags they sell at Marshall Fields. I think. In addition to being the best slang term of all time.

Lux: Great to meet you too, my fellow ex-nervite! I forgot to talk about how I kept trying to read all the pins on your bag. That would've been another good topic to cover. Hm.

MoonKiller said...

I totes agree with Razia. I can relate somehow to things in pretty much all of your posts and I have also developed the over usage of totes and also passed it on to my friends parce que they totes idolise me. or something.

haviland said...

it's funny that "totes" took so long to take off on the internet...i sorta feel like, at this point, it's a little done...since i started hearing it in college scene analysis classes, circa 2003?

riese said...

I started hearing "totes" like, six months ago. From my own lips. Actually, I don't know where. No, I do: Heather J. Weiss, six months ago. Any incidences of the word before then were accidents. Maybe scenic analysts shoulda spent more time on the internet. But also: almost everything's spread on the internet moreso on the past few years, regardless of it's origination date, because the internet's spread moreso over the past few years. Know where I learned that?

Anyhow, I like things that were cool a long time ago. Then it's totes retro.

Jessica said...

Question the first: Have you seen this?

Question the second: What was the subject of your application post? (Cause clearly what you need in life is a new blogging commitment).

Mercury said...

I thought I posted on this but obvs did not and now I remember I did but then it made me log in and then it erased the comment and I was like "fuck that" because it was long and I just closed the window.

Now I don't remember it, except, Hi Rachel, I'm Rachel too, along with like 6% of the population of the world, we have the most common name ever ever since lauren & megan & john.

I think to a certain extent we ALL go through similar stuff at the same time... like, there are themes in everyone's lives that correspond with eachother's lives because the world is connected like that and maybe also something to do with the positions of the planets. Or at least that's a theory I'm entertaining for the present time.

I'm trying to resist picking up "totes" because nobody here says it and they'd be like, "WTF?" and I'd be like.......... yeah, nevermind.

I've never met anyone from the internet that became like a real-life friend, I've just known people on the internet until I didn't know them anymore. Not through any like paranoia or anything, it just never happened. Maybe because nobody on the internet is from Alaska or going to Alaska, and the ones who are I don't want to meet anyway.

Obvs, I need to move...

haviland said...

haha, i love you, riese.

i was like, "heather, did you know riese got 'totes' from you?"

heather said, "i don't think i've ever used that word in my life."

hilarious.

but then, you know, processing fees is the new totes. ;)

Razia said...

I just try not to say totes coz it sounds funny with my accent - "taotes" - that's a poor attempt at phonetics but you get it.

Anyway back to the post, am I being too much of a "square" or does cyberdildology kind of freak you out too?

riese said...

Jessica: That's funny, because obvs I totally did, and I was like "TB! Look at this!" because obvs it's just screaming for meeeeee to apply and then I was like "But." 1. Scribegrrrl, even though I used to shout her out and even quote her on my blog all the time, might not like me, because we're like, the two L-Word recappers? But then really, I got to: 2. the unpaid part, until they start paying in shillings. And I was like, Riese, control yourself. Do not apply! Do not! I mean, probs they wouldn't hire me anyhow, but I was surprised that OurChart didn't pay ... And, to be honest, I don't mind writing things for free, if it's for like ... the Human Rights Campaign or something ... but Ilene Chaiken has a few extra bucks, I think. Just a few. That she could give to me. Whatevs, that's the nature of the online market, it's gotten me good visibility and that's great and I truly am going to write them another column like, super soon ... and when everyone told them to hire me, that was like, so awesome, and made me really happy and way happier than money could ever make anyone ... rent shment .... I have Ramen! I have an air conditioner, I'm ok ... Anyhow. What does this have to do with AfterEllen? I heart them, I want to write for them! No Riese, don't do it! I love AfterEllen, I've loved them forever-ever. They're owned by Logoonline now, and I want to sell Logo a sitcom I'm going to write with hyperdonut, and so I should do it ... I need to win the lottery, ASAP ... I'm thinking I'm going to write who should be the next host on The View, and I'm going to say it should be John Waters or Margaret Cho or Susan Powter. Someone radical and outspoken. They should get some anarchist military lesbian. They probs won't hire me anyway. Do it ... do it ...

MERC: Megan too? I never wrote that "Everyone is named Rachel" post. Maybe I will. Maybe today I'll do Sunday Top 10: Best Rachels Ever. No, I already know what I'm going to do. 'Other Holidays, Besides Fathers Day, that Make me Want to Jump out the Window.' You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I mean. No, that's not actually what I'm going to do either. Anyway!

I think it's an urban thing, to be honest ... I never woulda met anyone in Michigan from the internet, though I know people do. Because there's an assumption in big cities that a lot of people have moved here alone, without friends, and are looking for new people ... in other places, it's generally assumed that you're established, socially, and then looking online for friends is not as socially acceptable, because what's wrong with the friends you already have?

We went to an internet cafe in Alaska where everyone was having cybersex on webcams like, out in the open. We had to buy cards with a lot of time on them, so I gave the rest of my card to a guy who was going online looking for his unemployment benefits.

I think I will also entertain the theory that you are entertaining for the present time.

Hav: Really? Really?!! Hm. Maybe I just assumed it was her, because that's where I picked up my over-usage of the word "obvs."

You know what this means, right? I musta gotten it from YOU! According to my archives, my first usage of "totes" was in the best line I ever wrote on this blog: "Hands down totes Arby's." On March 8th. Which actually suggests, based on timing .... TB!

razia: Most things about sex freak me out. I spend a lot of time in therapy talking about how I'm actually a fraud, because I write erotica, but also don't always know what I'm talking about. I think if I hadn't seen every episode of HBO "Real Sex," I would be much more freaked out by things. But you know, to each his own. And by that I mean: "To each his own, unless you mean 'baby fetishes,' 'real dolls,' or any toys more expensive than a call girl."

Mercury said...

Yeah, I know what you mean.

You could make a Holidays/Rachels post. If you could find some sort of tie in. "Rachels & Holidays that make me want to jump off a roof." Or... something....

nktburc. Nothing makes sense anymore, not even the word verifications. Maybe Blogger's been drinking J├Ąger, yeah?

Speaking of things like totes and obvs, I now end plenty of sentences that should be statements with comma yeah question mark, which I think is TB's fault, which is your fault, like I got obvs from you too.

Abby said...

Do it Riese, take over the world with your blog!

re: meeting people on the internet
I highly recommend it.
I met...
-My current gf on pinksofa.com
-One of my dearest friends who I knew for 4 years via the internet before staying with her at her home in Mexico city
-An ex lover who picked me up when I needed it most (needless to say she also dumped me lol but I was dazed by all the sex and we just weren't meant to be)

My gf also met many people on adultfriendfinder.com which seems a bit dodgy to me but apparently isn't...although she does have a kind of stalker now...

Jessica said...

For the record, question the third was to be: "As this was clearly yesterday's news [original post: June 15th, directional comment: June 16th], am i at least amongst the first ten people to point this out to you." But, i couldn't find an appropriate way to word it, given that this my brief inquisition was fueled by no sleep and six shots of espresso.

Anyhow. You should do it. Or you know, not, cause sometimes it's good to step away from the keyboard. Sometimes.

stef said...

i spoke of bluedildonics to an ex boyfriend the other night and he imagined that the txt msgs would simply say: "unf unf unf." <3

i don't use totes that often but srsly do yell REALLY PAPI? like, all the time and NOBODY knows what i'm talking about, EVER.

some of my best friends were once strictly internet friends, and when people ask how we met... we totes lie.

riese said...

MERC: Yeah, but it'd have to be "Holidays that make me want to jump out the window" and "Rachels that make me want to jump out the window on a first floor flat onto a massage chair, where I can hang out with said Rachel." Though I can think of a few Rachels I didn't like, like the girls in Hebrew School that were mean to me. and the girl that locked these little kids in her basement while I was there, which was totes uncomfortable.

I picked up "yeah?" from TB obvs.
Blogger is Jager.

tb: They said "totes" in the play Haviland and I saw tonight. That made me feel like it might be Over.

JK. I LOVE IT. Can't stop, won't stop, all night long.

When's Manilla?

abby: adultfriendfinder was mentioned often on the panel and in the book. It always freaked me out, mostly because I saw it on my boss' bookmarks once, back in the day when I had a Boss, and I knew he was looking for threesome partners with his fiance, which freaked me out.

Also, Abby, and Stef: Thank you for validating my habit with yours.

Jessica: Yes, you were in the Top Ten people to point it out to me. I think I'd do it if I could just campaign for myself, like with OurChart, rather than that whole tiring "application" thing. I could possibly step away from my keyboard if only to save myself from breaking another important key. Although I did that recently to go to the kitchen, and broke [read: sliced open] my thumb, which means it's hard to press the "space" key.

stef: Yeah, I could lie better if I didn't write about it all the time. And if Tara wasn't so good at creating a whole social network--which I've now picked up from her--on the internet. Which means i have to explain every time someone asks how me and Haviland met (she met lainy online, lainy met tara online, i met tara online), which's often. Really Papi, Really.

TB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
riese said...

Long live Really Papi Really!

Lux said...

Marie: My pins = international conversation starter. Which is both good and bad.

stef said...

tb - so the day after you said you were wondering who the lesbian in the back was, i def asked nine thousand of my friends and even my therapist: OK SRSLY IF YOU JUST MET ME, WOULD YOU THINK... it gave me a weird complex about that hat. whatever... i read this blog, wear hats, listen to tatu, watch the l word, say really papi?!, and prefer dudes. really papi. really. there's maybe one girl somewhere in my sordid past who might beg to differ but that's the deal. but yeah, in terms of things that make me giggle to myself, yelling incredulously at papi is up there on the list.

oh, and riese, the obvious way to explain that is to shrug and say 'ehhhhh, mutual friends.' that's how i do it.

TB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
stef said...

i don't even know how to explain my thing with the l word without getting into a long complicated thing re: the previous statement that i don't talk about with STRAAAANGERS. but i admit i love that show in its own special way. it is so bad, and it is so good. and ps i totally wasn't offended.

riese said...

Stef: I actually didn't assume you were a lesbian, 'til TB used that to describe you, and I figured she knew better than I. There's a [redacted] magazine article all about gaydar this month!

And, for what it's worth, no one ever assumes that I'm a lesbian, and I'm not (I'm bi), but rarely do lesbians get that yes-I'll-do-girls vibe from me. Why d'you think I meet them all on the internet?

Also, I began watching TLW on a reference from a straight friend, and, when I rented Disc 1 Season 1, I identified as bi, but hadn't done much to prove it, and I had a boyfriend. Season 2, I'd watch it every Sunday night with my two best friends, who're straight: one of whom I may have hooked up with in high school but whatevs.