Friday, February 13, 2009

Autowin Will Never Surrender, No She'll Never Surrender - It's Fiiiiine Friday

Hellooooo! You look smashing today. As you know, I'm currently involved in a very serious do-or-die election. I know I promised to stop getting involved in voting-related situations, BUT I had to do "The Lezzies" 'cause last year Dorothy Surrenders demolished me by just a hair, and the year before that, Ham & Cheese On Wry crushed Dorothy's dreams by just an inch, so clearly history suggests that this year I will take home the crown. Look people, I'm not messing around here.

Howevs, my personal Herstory suggests that I will NOT ever take home any kind of crown (the Uh Huh Her video contest only partially counts, as our stiffest competition was an enthusiastic Welsh girl singing along to the teevee in her pajamas claiming that even though she hadn't attended the video-contest-required concert that she still deserved to win ... and were it up to the fans rather than Leisha & Cam, we would've lost. Luckily Rovermom did not have her day in the sun. Anyhow where was I, ah yes. I am still in the parentheticals, let's go) (oh also I did win the Hot Blogger Calendar thing, along with 11 other girls, and I'm pretty sure at least 200 of my votes were from Vashti & Autumn) (Thanks guys!) (400).

So, as I was saying, history shows that this year, I should be the one punching people in the face rather than, per ushe [again, questionable, but bear with me here, I'm trying to give you an ultimatium, which is something I have issues with] , an auto-loser. So, this'll be the last one. Probs. So please go vote for me (best personal blog) and Grace the Spot (best humor blog) and Sugarbutch (best gender-bender & erotica blog).

Also remember 8-Against-8, when we banded together to raise $13,759 to fight Proposition 8? I did that. Well Grace was in charge of that and other 8against8-ers include Sugarbutch, Pam's House Blend and Dorothy Surrenders, all nominees this year. Vote for them. NOW. Or die.

Anyhow during past elections, I've continued to be my typical self, bloggity blogging away all about memememe and the things I like. This year I will not let that happen.

This year, I'm going to spend the voting period doing EXACTLY what Dorothy Snarker does on her blog, because she beat me last year, therefore logic dictates I should emulate her as much as I can. 'Cause I'm not competing directly against her, it's totes ethical. Some might even call it "charming." [Bet You Can't Wait for my "Pre-L," otherwise known as "K." K what? You'll see. Special? Maybe. How good? K-good.]

I've already brought you Whoodie Wednesdays (a rip-off of Tank Top Tuesdays) and today I will bring you another series of photographs of ladies wearing fuckable things because today is Fiiinnneee Fuckable Friday obvs.

Howevs, I have no effin' clue where to find random pictures of hot girls. I'm familiar with a Kate Moennig fan site or two, but where do these other hot photos come from? Google Image Search is bunk, and I don't read any celebrity or fashion or pop culture sites besides the one I write for . Tips?

Today I will please you with photographs of girls who are looking & dressing boyishly. Why? Because, like hoodies, I think it's cute. I like boyish girls. I also don't believe in gender, but we'll talk about that another day. A day when I'm allowed to talk about Gender Trouble and Pomosexuals. That day will come.

Also, unlike Dorothy I don't have anything witty to say, let alone something concise & witty to say. But vote for me anyhow or I'll never blog again.

Actual Queer Girls Lookin' A Little Boyish Friday

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Kate Moennig
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Tegan & Sara, Amanda Palmer, Sara Cook, Invisible Ponyboy
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Ellen Page in drag > Ellen Page in preggo suit
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Rachel Maddow: Best Dork Ever.
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This is what Max is supposed to look like, dammit.
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Who wants a double shot of love with FUTCH?
Probs not me but still.
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Who cares if this fits 100% with the theme?
Aren't you just glad I brought it to your attention? Yeah you are.
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Every night Jenny Shimizu can go to bed, close her eyes and think:
"It is me. I am the woman who made love to Angelina Jolie."
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This is what I want is something like what these ladies have.
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The thing is about famous people though that once you meet them, they become people and not images. And then it becomes harder to deal with their images as images, instead of as pictures of people. I don't know if that makes sense. I guess I try to think of it as though these are all works of art. Like the photographer, the subject, they just come together to make art of some kind. Whether it's a commentary on culture or just nice to look at. If you are reading this blog for the first time, you will be really confused about why anyone reads it. Ho-ho-hum. Let's bang on the drums. HAY!

29 comments:

Leah said...

i hate doing the "im first" thing, but holy shit, i just may be.

just searching your site for lezberado #2. how do i see it unmuted???

Elizabeth said...

Hrm, did I miss something? I'll give you Kate Moennig in the 'actual gay girls' category because everyone but her has outed her. But Ellen Page? I know there are rumors and hopes and a movie and an SNL skit... but...?

Vashti said...

I am reading this blog for the first time and I am very confused about why anyone reads it.

Wait. No. That's a lie.

People read this blog because people are weirdos. I believe this has already been addressed.

ANYWAY. I like getting shout outs on here. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside like I've swallowed a kitten or something. As far as voting goes.. Well, you know how I am with voting. Let's just say I've got a good system going for this one.

riese said...

Leah: It's not under my youtube, it's on the Showtime youtube, search for 'girl with mushroom hair," or just go here.

Elizabeth: Is that still a secret? Hurm. Hm. I'm gonna sleep on what I should do about that. Or I'll just see what people say. I feel like I'm out of the Public Loop.

Vashti: Hey! Welcome to AutowiN! I'm so glad you have decided to read ...

oh wait. Oh yeah! Hayyyyy! Dude do not go to sleep with a kitten in your stomach, it'll just yell all night, you don't want that. That's my special expert advice.

Vashti said...

Your advice. It is so special. So expert.

Speaking of advice, my sleeping patterns have gotten even worse since I moved! My new bedtime is 2 AM. This is the opposite of progress.

Mercury said...

also reading for the first time.
there's a really good reason why I read this blog all the time but I forgot it with my keys in the couch cushions somewhere. I will finish this ridiculously strong drink and then I will let you know if I remember to go look for it or not. if I do remember to go look for it I'll be there. I mean here. I mean I come back and tell you the reason if I figure it out. omg yes play drumsss!

obulog

Anonymous said...

I'll submit pictures in clothes. Tell us what article of clothing you're going to feature next and I'll get on that.

Vikki said...

That last pic kinda freaked me out because it looks like they are standing in front of my old dorm building at Grinnell. I was like, "Hmmmm...I don't remember them". And yes, I might be that old.

carlytron said...

those photos made me happy. yay boyish girls on a friday morning.

VOTE AUTOWIN.

a;ex said...

oh hellooooo Patricia Melone. I don't know who this is, but thank you.

Who are the weirdo old ladies in the last picture? Would you like a castle like them too? (and when I say "castle" I mean "CAAA-sle" like the British.)

Nice graphic!! LOL

Bren said...

I too was surprised at the listing of Kate Moennig and Ellen Page.

Pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless.

I'm gonna go vote now.

sherri said...

Sometimes I forget why everyone loves Kate so much and then I see a picture like THAT. Drooling over The Outsiders and Leisha as well. I really need to learn how to tie a tie. Voting now!

Danielle said...

that isn't ellen page in drag, that's an imitation of the cover art for Patti Smith's 1975 album "horses." ellen page and i share a love for patti smith. :)

http://www.google.com/musicl?lid=KySQXO15yqP&aid=zmi9DXX4F3N&ei=RrqVSYaSJYLqNI-rlIMM&sa=X&oi=music&ct=image

autumn m said...

i have a weird feeling that vashti and i have the same "system" going. which i pretty awesome. and would someone please explain to me why most those people were wearing ties. the only tie i own has Rudolph on it, and it sings jingle bells. that's hot right???

Vashti said...

Autumn, I wouldn't be at all surprised if we have the same system. All I'm gonna say is that I have a LOT of internet identities. You + me = Team Super Vote.

Elizabeth said...

Autumn, ties are hot. Can't quite explain it except when I see a hot girl in a tie... I want to grab her by that tie and pull her too me. Maybe that's the appeal? ;) I own like 20 ties but don't wear them much anymore.

MoonKiller said...

I,also, love hoodies and girls who look like boys. Girls who look like boys in hoodies even more so.

and i'm votings, obvs.

and a;ex - in wales we say 'Caah-sal' or if we're being really welsh we say 'cast-elth' cause it's castell in welsh. that was your yearly lesson in welsh-isms.

Anonymous said...

Member in Halifax when we were looking for ellen page and rolling down hills? That was fun. I dreamt about black lesbians last night, I'm blaming you. I've voted like whoa. Obvs.

Rachel said...

It's not that I wish your content were more like Dorothy's (I have never heard her talk about vodka tonics once) but this was wonderful. Like, I was fanning my face with both hands. I wanna bang/hang out with Amanda Palmer so bad. Tegan and Sara should be there too.

eric mathew said...

did you see the lesbian wedding on all my children? i don't know if I buy it... just something about Eden anyway their dresses were pretty.

also rachel was on martha this week (no it was last) and they are like total bff's you know they like chat on ichat.

anyway. shit. i really had a point to make and the lesbian wedding took over my mind.

Emy. said...

i'm totally lovin the pics. Confused about the Ellen Page thing though, but that's what google was created for!

autumn m said...

i just felt you should know that i finished voting for the day. i feel very internet schizophrenic

riese said...

Vashti: Well, at least now you'll have the freedom to progress and now you are theo only thing in your way instead of someone else being in your way? maybe?

Mercury See how you do that, you make it funny and poetic, talking about being so drunkity drunk drunk, it reminds me of me, and consequently i think i hope you are okay. aso i put a little hook on my wall where i always put my keys when i get home. the women's magazines have been telling me to do this for years and i just now got it so.

Anonymous: Boyshorts! Boyshorts! Boyshorts!

Vikki It probs is. Not 'cause you're that old, but 'cause I got that picture from what I'm guessing is an academic press edition of a book about vsw and vw.

carlytron Next time I will need a photo of you for the boyish girls party. VOTE AUTOWIN OR DIE HOLLER.

a;ex: www.patriciamelone.com. don't say i never treat you right.
as for the question in your comment i um, am gonna pretend like you didn't say that.

Bren: Keep in mind when you're voting that that's the power of the little people. i can out whoever i want and no one will notice and i won't get in trouble. also though, certainly kate is publicly out by now, right?

sherri: I never forget why everyone loves Kate so much. I do know how to tie a tie. It has served me well, really it has.

danielle: right, i know, but doesn't it still count as ellen page in drag? also cass bird did this hot photoshoot with kate doing patti smith. i can't find it though.

autumn m: I don't know how to explain the tie thing. Carly & A;ex can pull it off but rarely do I see anyone pulling it off who's not a famous person on the teeveee. (Now i'm hearing carly's special voice saying "whaaaat are you sayin i'm not famous"?) I have a lot of weird ties from my long careers in Italian restaurants. even holiday themed ties. "everyone has to wear a chritsmas tie except marie 'cause she's jewish" - my manager. unfortunately hannukah ties are hard to come by.

Vashti: No cheating! But you should definitely vote every day.

elizabeth: i agrees. i don't know what purpose they serve for men though, i feel like it's always gettin' into their pasta sauces.

moonkiller: I am glad that we share the same taste in photographs of women, this will be very beneficial to my future as the number one blogger in the universe.

jersey: yes yes i do. and we never found her which was depressing.could you let me know the names of these women you dreamt of, as you know i find the lack of multiculturalism available in the places where i find these photos to be unacceptable!

Rachel: I wanna bang/hang out with Amanda Palmer too. I feel like I might feel too amazonian ultimately w/t&s.

eric mathew: you can usually bargain that if the question is "did you see the ___ on the [teevee show]?" that the answer is no. you're a very special person eric mathew just so you know. i didn't know about martha & rachel but now i do.

Emy: I have this weird perspective on the world where sometimes I know more about what the public doesn't know than I know about what the public does know, if that makes sense. But you know, who knows really. Maybe you know, with google.

autumn m: Good job soilder! Yay for voting!

helenapanoulias said...

Dear Riese:

How are you so awesome?

Sincerely,
Helena.

B. said...

I like Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West as writers and lovebirds.

AK said...

I did that picture of Patti Smith too, way back when, but it still counts. Try flickr groups for picture sources.

Adam said...

If only more girls who look like boys liked boys who like girls, my world would be a more lovely place.

Yeah, that's right, my re-de-lurk is a comment about girls in ties.

There's more to me than books and smartypants things! Why don't you see me for the shallow creature I am? I won't live in your boundaries! rawr!

p.s. Boyshorts indeed.

Jezzica said...

Oh, how heartwarming it was to see a picture of Vita and Virginia on a day like today! Except every time I see Vita I channel some of Virginia's possessiveness and crankiness.
I'm voting a straight-up Riese and Friends of Riese ticket.

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