Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Tuesday Top 25 MeMeMeMeMe

I've got this blog where I've been talking pretty consistently about myself since April of 2006. There's very little I haven't said. So when everyone and their mother and a bag of chips tags me with this "25 Random Facts About Mememememe" meme on Facebook [which, at this point, has already gone from new to neat! to "played out" to publicly despised/spat at to RETRO ... and I dig retro] I think to myself, wtf has Mary Marie Reise Riese Lyn Bernard not already said?

This is IMPOSSIBLE. It took me 25 hours to come up with this stuff. Sorry I've been such a bad blogger, I've seriously been kinda out of my mind trying to do a million web-things at once, do the L Word stuff, and still attempt to pay rent every month somehow, sleep, and yell at my friends. The L Word Recap Episode 603 is HERE though!

I've written so many g-dforsaken words here! It's insane! I should just print it out, collate a coursepack ("Introduction to Generation IDK/WTF 101") and run away to the hinterlands to live off the fruit of the land & sea.

So, as I ponder these 25 unsaid things, Newsflash! Nominations for The Lezzies open today (Feb 2nd --> Feb 9th) and this year they've expanded into 8 categories and adopted a new voting system. Last year you may remember I came in second place for Best Lesbian Blog of 2007 and Dorothy Snarker beat my ass for first.

I promised you I wouldn't yell at you to vote for me for anything ever again, I'm just giving you this information and you can do with it whatever you like ... To nominate and vote please visit http://thelesbianlifestyle.com.

Best Lesbian Blogs in the Following Categories: Culture/Entertainment (autostraddle?), Humor, Parenting/Wedding, Feminism/Political, Personal (cough*me*), 50 and Over, Gender Bender, Sex/Erotica Blog, Overall Lesbian Blog of the Year.

Things I leave out are usually: 1. secrets, 2.mundane, boring details, 3. things I haven't figured out/thought yet, or 4.arbitrarily private. So. This leaves a lot of room for detail -- like picking random days and figuring out what I did that day.

25 Fun Little Random Things I Haven't Already Mentioned on this Blog

update 2:02 AM.
25. my roommate/BFF/"live-in partner" Natalie says: "Bernie [that's what she calls me] has the softest skin of anyone in the world. I've never felt anything like it on human flesh. I mean I think some fabrics might be that soft, but not on human flesh."

24. On my bed right now: Tinkerbell, Ryan (he's a stuffed dog), a gray scarf, TV remote control, my Blackberry, a Pilot very fine point clickie pen, Caitlin's book, BUST magazine, a water bottle, a paper towel, an envelope of stickers and construction paper, a pair of scissors, double-sided tape, a photocopy of a Stephen Dunn essay, my computer and a Pinkberry lid.

23. When a friend or significant other gets me coffee and puts sugar in it, I completely freak out and turn into a raving lunatic. The logic behind this is that if they don't know by now not to put sugar in my coffee then THEY! WILL! NEVER! KNOW ME! And it actually happens all the time, so you can easily deduce that I hate almost everyone.

update 10:39 A.M.
Back in '02, I'd beg all my MacGrill coworkers to give me their Friday night shift (I didn't have the seniority yet to get scheduled Friday nights) week after week -- sometimes even calling everyone to ask if they'd like the night off -- saying that I desperately needed the money. I did, but not desperately. But I knew, desperately, that if I was on campus on Friday night, everyone would see what a loser I was with no-place to go & no friends. But! If I was WORKING then I wouldn't feel totally socially awkward & self-loathing.

21. It was April, I think, 2006, when two cops were at the door with badges. After a lot of back-and-forth, I told them I'd seen a lot of Law & Order and they couldn't search the place without a warrant and that is how I did not lose any part of my life that day.

The John Mayer song "Comfortable" still makes me cry.

19. A year ago on February 1st I (according to my gmail archives): was writing my first "Stuff I've Been Reading," Tara spent the night, Krista was emailing me lots of stuff about Obama, Haviland sent me an email saying any time I wanted to talk she would talk and I didn't write her back, Stef emailed us the SXSW lineup, Crystal was returning to Sydney from vaycay, Caitlin & I were making plans for brunch w/Tara and computer-purchasing and Caitlin/Haviland/Alex and I were all reply-alling about watching the next episode of The L Word, which turned out, surprisingly enough, to suck.

update: 11:05 am

All shoes give me blisters. Yup, all of 'em. Even after wearing the same Doc marten boots for three years, I must wrap my feet in moleskin first.

I get really offended when I gift someone a Stephen Dunn book and they don't read it straight away/ever. It's poems, how hard is it to just read the poems?

I wear eyeliner because when I'm not wearing eyeliner I look in the mirror and see my Dad.

15. I love America's Most Wanted (the teevee show).

update - 3:21 pm

14. If I could do only one thing for the rest of my life, it would be "play trivia games."

update- 4:38 pm

13. Inspired by the teevee show Friends (this is 1995 I'm talking about) my friend Kristyna and I started frequenting a short-lived coffee shop called "Not Another Cafe" (on South U in Ann Arbor), declaring it our "official hangout," and went there after school 3-4 days a week determined to train ourselves to like the taste of coffee. I started with mochas, then vanilla lattes, and by high school I was a full-fledged coffee addict. I started also taking Vivran (caffiene pills) in '98, overdosed and freaked out that December, and swore off caffeine for the next eight months.

Since going back to coffee in September of '99, I have not gone even one day without it.

update. 4:45 pm
12. My longest iChat of all time was about twelve consecutive hours with Carlytron in June '07, before we started really even writing Living it Out. Obvs Team Rebound was also Team Super-Cool and Super-Unemployed.

11. Never before and never since have I been as happy as I was during my senior year of high school. Those were the best days of my life. Except! On the Rosie Cruise. I'm generally that happy on the Rosie Cruise. Clearly I need to be ostracized from society to be happy.

10. Though I tend to think of myself as categorically too insecure to ever go for it, evidence would suggest that when it all comes down to it -- physically, I do make the first move. I think this is more reflective of impulsive curiosity & impatience than it is of bravery. It's that moment when I think "why not?" and "let's just see what happens."

5:11 pm

9. This is the first thing I ever published online and there's a grammatical error in the TITLE! ach! "Goin' to Work: Why Detroit Loves it's championship Pistons and still won't take Jimmy Kimmel's 'joke.'" I think that site is defunct now.

5:57 pm

8. Unless you're actually legitimately poor/broke [like literally & actually, not just in your head or "considering the big picture], I find stinginess to be a big turn-off, no matter how practical it may be. I realize this is a bad attitude but it's just how I feel ... furthermore I could never fall in love with a bad tipper, furthermore I always overtip, furthermore I am poor.

7. In vlogs, the reason I'm always looking at myself/the screen and avoid turning towards Haviland or whomevs even when they're talking to me is because I hate the way my face looks in profile. I prefer the way my face looks with sunglasses!

My Mom promised me $800 upon high school graduation if I managed to make it through without ever drinking or doing drugs. So I didn't, even though all my friends started abandoning DARE principles in 8th grade ... then one night mid-sophomore year I was sleeping over at my friend Lorn's house I had a really bad allergic reaction to her cats, therefore came home the next morning a total mess & passed out on the couch, and my Mom was convinced I had a hangover, was lying about the cats, and I'd broken the pact. But I didn't! So the next week when Lorn was like, "Marie, it's just money, is money more important than having a good high school experience?" I was like, "you are right. Give me some gin rightnow." And so it goes.

update 9:15 pm

5. Natalie suggested I mention that I won't talk about anything involving p**p and freak out when other people want to talk about it. I can't put in the letters there 'cause I don't like to talk about that stuff. I think Lozo has mentioned this about me before though. Right?

4. When I make lists like the "best of" sidebar on autowin I also have a list in my head of my favorite posts I wrote sober [no on 8, dear dad, this girl called automatic weirdo ] my favorite posts I wrote entirely or mostly drunk [tuesday top nothing, if i gave you my number] , and my favorite posts I wrote entirely or mostly on drugs of some kind [we don't want to sleep tonight, live through this, i can't forget what you've forgotten, I Get So City Girl on You] and my favorite post that I wrote drunk and celebrate not for its goodness but for how seriously drunk I was when I wrote it - I Could NEVER Live Here.

3. I'm not telling you "4" to share a random fact about myself for the 25 facts about me meme. I am writing it to disappoint you.

Multiple intimate sources have suggested that for someone who allegedly hates to talk on the phone, I'm pretty good at talking on the phone.

Spiral-bound, Strathmore Drawing pads, size medium.


Vashti said...

I don't have anything to comment about right now. I just want to say "OMG HAI LOOK YOU GUYS! I'M TOTALLY FIRST!!!"

Oh and I'd also like to say some other nonsense things like:

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

If police police police police, then who polices police police?

James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher.

This is what happens when you start using StumbleUpon with Wikipedia and you have "linguistics" as one of your interests.

I'll comment later when the full 25 is up.

Rachel said...

oh man do I hear you on the coffee thing. how can they have no idea? i mean, we have been together for a year and a half and i have never liked altoids for any of it, this is not hard

Haviland Stillwell said...

I have been "tagged" in so many of these, too, and I have resisted it thus far, bc I think, "what do people really care to know about me that I am comfortable sharing? Why do people care?"

So, just throwing it out there...if i were to do one, and i'm not saying i will ;) , what do people want to know? (and keep it clean, gutter minds!)

there really needs to be a template for the 25 things, rather than just 25 randoms...idk/wtf.


autumn m said...

i love how it says 25 random things, and you only posted 3 so far. no? not funny??? and i have refused to participate in these things. its just another way for amazing people (such as myself) to get stalkers. im just sayin......

Anonymous said...

i have gotten you coffee many many times and never once put sugar in it and i read my stephen dunn book right away, i feel that should count for something. i love this you autowinner.

a;ex said...

Remember that time I accidentally got sugar in your latte? I'll never ever forget your reaction. It was seriously one of the best things ever.

So far I like your 25 list the best. Though my opinion is probably biased.

Crystal said...

I got tagged a lot as well but I couldn't work out what I was meant to do with it. Now I know. Also, I hope I went somewhere nice last Feburary.

I've been thinking of random Marie facts and the only thing I can think of is how Skype-savvy you are. Okay, see you at the meeting.

MoonKiller said...

i have the same sort of coffee problem thing except with milk. people just don't understand that the only thing i want milk in is tea and nothing else. i get seriously annoyed when people put milk in my cereal aswell.

riese said...

vashti: Congratulations on being first! That actually relates sort of to the topic of The Lezzies, an awards ceremony from which I hope to come out in first place.

Rachel: AND! and! There's even a flog where I yell I SAID NO SUGAR at the camera and talk about poking out the eyes of the man at Dunkin' Donuts who gives me sugar.

Haviland Stillwell: Boxers or briefs.

autumn: Well I was still tryng to come up with 22 additional things. It's hard. I've said everything.

jersey: I think you've probs brought me coffee more than anyone else in the world and that you've never put sugar in it and you did read your book right away and all the books i tell you to read which's why you are an autowinner 4evs.

a;ex: YES I DO REMEMBER THAT. I'll never forget how not guilty I felt making you go back out into the cold winter morning to fetch me a new one.

Crystal: I feel like you went to some island or something, someplace quiet with limited internets. Or maybe that was another time. So excitant for the menage/meeting, obviously.

MoonKiller: I also get annoyed when people put lemon or anything spicy on my food too. What do you eat your cereal with?

Ingrid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ingrid said...

No. 11: totally fucking true for me, too, in the way that hours of misery and heartbreak was frequently followed by the soaringest high on life and friends and curiosity, repeat repeat to the nth degree, and my mind and body just fell in love with that cycle and nothing has lived up to it since.

MoonKiller said...

I eat cereal either straight from the box or with yogurt. I have bad memories of being forced to drink milk before I went to bed when I was little. Emotionally scarred.

I prefer the way my face looks with sunglasses too. But my favourite pair of sunglasses are slightly wonky.

Vashti said...

I hatehatehate my profile. It's just so.. UGH. That being said I think I look best in glasses/sunglasses which is why I wish I had poor vision.. Just so I could wear glasses. I think my eyes look weird.

carlytron said...

re: #12, we are awesome.

a. said...

Yes! The sugar in coffee thing! Sugar doesn't go in coffee, milk or cream goes in coffee. If you're putting sugar in warm beverages, it's a tiny bit of sugar in tea. If we've gone for coffee at least three times, and you don't know this, we are not friends.

(I also would have sent A;ex back out into the cold to get a new latte.)

Vashti said...

4 didn't disappoint me.. It just made me look back at the posts you wrote while intoxicated and think "well duh."

20/20 hindsight.

asher said...

i love 15.

I love America's Most Wanted (the teevee show).

not because i share the sentiment or whatever, but purely because you felt the need to indicate that you love the show, NOT the entire list of uncaught criminals.

or at least that's how i read it.

riese said...

Ingrid: What scares me the most is it's been ten years nearly. And though I feel dramatically divorced from the person I was at say 19, 20, 21, 22 ... I still understand the person I was there, and relate to her, and feel that was like my purest bestest self. I sometimes would think about teaching there in the future, but I like to imagine it hasn't gone on without me, and doesn't still exist.

Moonkiller: Oh tht's yogurt bowl, we make yogurt bowl with yogurt, cereal and dried or fresh berries and it's delicious.

Vashti: You can buy fake glasses at Claire's, I used to do that and i'd wear them to make me feel smart. I always steal other people's glasses in videos, 'cause I'm crafty.

carlytron: Team Awesome.

a. I do put sugar in tea actually as well -- I feel like it enhances or changes the flavor slightly but I feel like sugar in coffee is an attempt to completey reguate & negate the flavor of coffee and is sacreligious. Don't even get me started on Splenda.

Vashti: Ha, well that's good. Nata and I were discussing how we've reached a point where there isn't anything we can't do drunk now. except i can't work out drunk. holler.

asher: Ha, I didn't even think of that. I put (the teevee show) for people like a;ex and natalie who never know what I'm talking about but it's so much better the way you read it.

Leah said...

#5...ME TOO! I just started getting ok with it, only because my gf and I live together now. But even when the convos do arise, there are still limitations, and I never use the whole word.

It's p**

autumn m said...

ahhh..... Thank you for finishing this. I wish I shared your sentiment about coffee. But, i hate coffee. So I’ll just pretend... I hate sugar in my coffee too!!! How was that?? Believable? And I too thought you put (the teevee show) after America's Most Wanted, so you could clarify that you don’t love the actual criminals. And I was all, well that makes sense.

DJL said...

I think what we all want to know is what is really going at Wellesley College.

Elizabeth said...

I used to wear fake glasses all the time because I've alway wanted glasses. I really like the way I look in glasses. I *love* glasses. Esp girls in glasses. Glasses, yay! I'm done.

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