Lozo had finger surgery and can't type long sentences, let alone live-blog men's tennis tournaments. [Number of potentially un-funny How-Lozo-Broke-His-Finger jokes I've written and deleted so far in the writing of this post = 7.] For some mysterious reason, he thought I'd be the one with the answer to life's eternal question: "What's stronger than Vicodin?" I suggested two Vicodin -- but the point is; obvs his pain is deep, like a very deep hole in the ground or a well from the olden days. In order to satiate the ravenous athletic appetites of Lozo's audience, Haviland and I donated our services to his blog via VLOG. Perhaps you've seen it, as, in my awesomeness, I gave him a 48-hour exclusive on Part One of "Haviland and Riese's Awesome Video Blog For Lozo" and a permanent exclusive on Part Two, which he'll be posting later tonight, at which point that text will light up with the bright promise of Hyperlink [UPDATE: And it has]. Part One is also down below for y'all, if you haven't already seen it. It's very compelling: we talk to each other, talk to the camera, talk about ourselves, talk about the knot in my back which's actually getting worse, and apply lip gloss.
Also, near the end, you will hear me say "Obvs depends on the girl," and Hav say "Probs blonde," therefore answering the eternal question of: "How do those words sound spoken out loud?"
Actual blog entry to come sometime within the next 36 hours or so.
21 comments:
this comment is a random one (randomness perpetuated by the fact that i live in dc) but i saw an interlochen bumper sticker today on the car in front of me. small world. i was also in new york this weekend visiting a friend and i insisted that we go to a duane reade and it did in fact take at least 15 minutes waiting in line just to buy my vitamin water. the cashier also confessed to "zoning out" and just stood there, doing nothing, with about 10 people in her line. i've had a very riese-y couple of days. thought you might like to know
dagny
Whoa, totes Riese-y weekend, absolutely. I love it when visitors to the city have unbearable Duane Reade experiences, therefore validating my own and enhancing my superiority complex. It'd be even weirder if I had a car, and that was me in the car in front of you with that bumper sticker. Totes.
the "b" in obvs is silent, i KNEW it!
Hearing "obvs" and "probs" out loud was quite the experience. If there is another vlog made in the future, I'd like to request "JK". I know I've already heard it, but it was that good.
I am very excited that I can now add "obvs" and "probs" to my spoken conversations, along with "totes."
basia: But the best part is we totes feel like we are saying the "b."
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crystal: i've got great oral communication skills.
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lmc: at that rate, you'll be just as annoying as we are in no time at all! wheeeeeee!
i've heard it in person. the "b" is in there. yet it's not. it's like an alien word. i've tried to say it, but i get yelled at. i probs'll have to work on it.
next video blog should be a trailer for the new broadway musical starring haviland stillwell, les miserOBVS. i wish i could take credit for that. hm, lozo's all drugged up.. maybe he won't notice.
this vlog is totes ridic/hilar-LOL. i was going to comment on lozo's page but i didn't want to get hit on...jk, lozo is very funny. and the strip club recap was amazing.
any abbreves talk makes my heart warm so i'm happy you're spreading some of the staples: probs, obvs, totes, mabes. i'm now under the abbreves guidance of comedian jessica golden. her word, "jean?" (from "do you know what i mean?") has made my life better. i mean she took six words and made it one....jean? i know...it's a bit extreme. there are just so many.... i looove converting tion to ashe...like informashe (obvs pronounced "a +sh".) when u move out here, we'll totes abbreves the shit out of shit!!!!! haaaaa!
This is so funny on so many levels. Readers, this is ONLY THE BEGINNING...like, fo real reals...i am so into this...
And soon, and SOON...we'll be vlogging from thr Haviland Salon, which actually appears to be something that's actually happening..which, again, is amazing.
More to come, OBVS. ;)
Riese, we should play like Ro does, and answer commenters questions on the vlog, you know?
OK...so readers...fire away your queries and we'll answer them. Like truth or dare!
The white-chalk-on-blacktop DRUGS font was so street! Excellent move with the video component. The cut after "I don't think I've ever really read Lozo's blog" = priceless.
Definitely do this more often. I was actually thinking the other day that you and Haviland should do a podcast, but this is even better.
"haviland styles my hair - haviland for wax"
amazing. i enjoyed thisss
I come back, and the waiting time has increased, im sure it was 24 hours last time i read it! lol.
I said totes in conversation today and was asked what i'd just said, i was like "totes!" My frined was like, "no one says totes!" My reply: "YES THEY DO!!!!..... you just dont know it!"
awesome. you know, fourfour did a vlog this week, too, only because his computer crashed which is bad news. im glad that your vlog, even though precipitated by bad news (lozo's finger-woes) was precipitated by SOMEONE ELSE's bad news, and not your own. so thats kind of a like good news, right?
im trying to think of a question, but my co-workers are trying to get me to go out for a drink now, so ill think on it and get back to you.
Lozo: Realizing that it's in there is the first step towards getting it right. Also, I think you like being yelled at.
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stef: "Do you hear the people sing? Obvs! Singing the song of angry men, totes the music of the people who probs'll won't be slaves again ... "
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m: Mabes is a new one. "Do you know what I mean" into "Jean' is super intense. I almost feel like I'd have to footnote it. But also, it's funny, because in high school we had a phrase that was actually printed on our Writers Tour t-shirts (aka geek-tour) : "Nomesane?" Which was the way our teacher pronounced "know what I'm saying?"
Yeah, defo comment here instead of on Lozo's blog. He'd totes hit on you via comment, while meanwhile, I'd totes never do that, like ever.
[...]
I think I need an abbreviation for "And by that I mean the opposite of that." Or something.
We will abbreves the shit out of shit in the sunshine. I want that on a t-shirt.
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haviland: Sooo into it, all over it, etc etc, Haviland for Wax. Totes gonna incorporate this Q&A concept into that next blog I'm writing (re: our vlogging ambitions), obvs. I just hope someone asks me how i feel about Hassleback.
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Annie: Sooooo street. It's all about the cuts. the strategic cuts.
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Bridget: Yeah, I'd like podcasts better because I wouldn't have to be like "dude, my hair is fucked up in this video," but Haviland's hair always looks nice, so vlogs it totes is.
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Lynnie: Thank you for noticing the reference. I went on to say she also sold skateboards and dildos, but that ended up on the cutting room floor.
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dewey I know, I always do that, I'm awful. I'm writing a blog entry tonight, fo'reals. Tell your friend to read my blog, your friend's head will totally explode. That's right, I said "totally."
ME[talking about david bowie(in the labyrinth, obvs)]: ahh, no he is BRILL
MY FRIEND: brill...you would, HAHAHA so i was reading an article in something and this guy was like "yea we hate it when girls shorten EVERYTHING they say. like it's ok to say something like def once in a while. but when you start saying things like "totes" all the time, that's where we draw the line"
also...concerning Haviland for WAX... shes an obvious candidate for a skateboard & dildo saleswoman(the new peanut butter & jelly?!)/hair stylist/fab singer/hip volgger. makes sense to me.
how do you feel about hasselback?
i'm bringing hasselbeck...yeah!
i don't know what hassleback is... so i'll ask: how do you feel about hasselhoff?
sorry. this would've helped.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1coUvS9Oc44
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