Friday, September 15, 2006

Some Prep School Punk's Plan to Perpetuate Retribution

Today I want to talk about threats to the American people.

E.G., right now I WANT TO WATCH THE VIEW



But instead I have to watch this douchebag talk about NOTHING:



I wish Chuckie Cheese was president. Instead of money, we could have tickets. And instead of health insurance plans, we could have plastic mugs with broken handles and candy necklaces. And gumballs.



Did he really just say "No follow-up questions?" a.k.a., "Don't talk again, you'll call me out on not answering your question in the first place because I don't answer questions, I just like, say stuff."

Wow. "Dignity? What does that mean?"

I've got a follow-up question: "CAN I TAKE SOME TIME TO ENJOY THE VIEW?!!!"

Gawd. I hate that shrug-smirk thing he does, it makes me feel dirty. Literally. Like, dirty as if I was Valerie Malone in 90210 dropping off a paper bag of diapers at the house of the older man I was fucking.

6 comments:

Haviland said...

NOTHING infuriates me more than that smirk. It's SOOOO revolting. Is the country really still a drunk girl at a bar who is falling for that crap?

EW. And then he gets between me and Ro? As they say in the Bway musical THE COLOR PURPLE, (which I'm SURE is on W's "must see" list), "HELL NO!!"

marie lyn bernard said...

Or as they say in the hit Broadway musical "Mama Mia" (which it is likely GW probably did see, because he has No Taste and is the voice of Stupid People Everywhere): "I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end!"

It just sucks how that one drunk girl left at the bar is so loud and obnoxious that she's ruining it for the rest of us!

Jane said...

If Chuckie Cheese was President, I'd want to be first lady.

marie lyn bernard said...

word.

Slinky Redfoot said...

great last line. I'll have to borrow that. Also, cutting in line at Duane Reade wouldn't do shit bc it's slow as hell regardless.

K said...

Hahahaha. I'm rolling on the floor after this.