Thursday, September 07, 2006

I Have Spent Nights with Matches and Knives

I told Haviland she had to listen to my voice mail--Brian, a friend-of-a-friend who saw me read at "In the Flesh"--was running the tag sale for the recently deceased legendary dominatrix Eva Norvind/Ava Taurel and wanted me to come to Eva's dungeon that very night to compose a "fun" invite for the tag sale of her remaining possessions-- I believe his exact words involved: "We've got whips, we've got chains, we've got nipple clamps, strap-ons, handcuffs, shoes, magazines, videos, corsets, a flogging table, an hydraulic lift and DILDOS, DILDOS, DILDOS!!"

Haviland shot me a serious stare: "We're obviously going, right?"

Although I knew I should be packing (this was 1.5 weeks ago), I also knew that I should not turn down an opportunity to score some free handcuffs.

Haviland, because she's a Broadway actress, snagged me an invite to a cruise for gay families, during which she wore a pink Glenda gown and sang a song from "Wicked" for the delighted audience of tots and their doting parents.

Me, because I'm an aspiring freelance writer, took Haviland to a dungeon on 57th street and attempted to slap her unsuspecting ass with a leather whip, a bamboo cane and a flogging paddle.

Today, Susie Bright praises my snappy little invite.

I make exceptions to my Slacker-Blogging-Pace for shameless self promotion, obviously.

In other news, i think I just drank a whole cup of coffee with half-and-half that has totally gone sour.


Lily Burana said...

Your invite was marvelous--I heard you made an interesting acquisition at the sale. ;)

When you posted "I knew I should be packing," I thought, Man, that girl is *bringing her own dildo to the sale!* Urrrrrr...then I got what you were talking about: Packing a SUITCASE. Haha.

I got an ancient studded leather bracelet and a needlepoint throw pillow with a doggie on it that says, "If all else fails, BEG." I like to think some loyal puppy-play client made it, tho it was probably purchased ready-made at a Michael's craft shop.

marie lyn bernard said...

Yes indeed...I found a lovely copy of this book that looked really fabulous called "Strip City" and I'd recommend it to anyone--especially people who would go to a store and buy it rather than snatch it from the shelves of the tag sale before it's open to the public.

Your misinterpreation of the packing comment is amazing, especially considering the one pre-packed box I photographed for the "top ten reasons i didn't do a sunday top ten" blog entry...oh, the irony!

Glad to hear you made such a smashing find!