Thursday, September 07, 2006
I Have Spent Nights with Matches and Knives
I told Haviland she had to listen to my voice mail--Brian, a friend-of-a-friend who saw me read at "In the Flesh"--was running the tag sale for the recently deceased legendary dominatrix Eva Norvind/Ava Taurel and wanted me to come to Eva's dungeon that very night to compose a "fun" invite for the tag sale of her remaining possessions-- I believe his exact words involved: "We've got whips, we've got chains, we've got nipple clamps, strap-ons, handcuffs, shoes, magazines, videos, corsets, a flogging table, an hydraulic lift and DILDOS, DILDOS, DILDOS!!"
Haviland shot me a serious stare: "We're obviously going, right?"
Although I knew I should be packing (this was 1.5 weeks ago), I also knew that I should not turn down an opportunity to score some free handcuffs.
Haviland, because she's a Broadway actress, snagged me an invite to a cruise for gay families, during which she wore a pink Glenda gown and sang a song from "Wicked" for the delighted audience of tots and their doting parents.
Me, because I'm an aspiring freelance writer, took Haviland to a dungeon on 57th street and attempted to slap her unsuspecting ass with a leather whip, a bamboo cane and a flogging paddle.
Today, Susie Bright praises my snappy little invite.
I make exceptions to my Slacker-Blogging-Pace for shameless self promotion, obviously.
In other news, i think I just drank a whole cup of coffee with half-and-half that has totally gone sour.