Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Auto-Fun of Nov. 11th 2008: Like a Kite That Floats So Effortlessly

Intro, The Week to Come: There's this Azure Ray song "November." Every November I listen to it and feel really emo: so we're speeding towards that time of year, to the day that marks that you're not here. This week leaves little time for emo, there's so much going on! ... Rising Star Haviland Stillwell is coming to town, it's Stef's birthday on Wednesday, The Sex Blogger Calendar Release Party is on Friday, and then there's this Saturday's NO ON 8 Rally at NYC's city hall (wanna read my opinion on it again okay here, wanna watch it okay here ). I might even recap South of Nowhere ! Or set up my room! Or put up curtains in the living room!

Also. Also. Also. It's Lozo's birthday today!

Where's Papi?: The L Word Season Six Promo is out! So far Shane's hair seems to be on a good track. Someone's gonna get killed apparently. My money's on Jodi, she'll be like "I never even heard them coming!" Hey-o!

Where's Hedwig? You know who else has a teaser out? The New York Sex Blogger Calendar! We were in Em&Lo's Daily Bedpost, for which I continued my erratic support for this project with a two-line bio I don't remember writing. Holler! 6:30 - 9:30 pm at the White Rabbit on 145 E. Houston between Forsyth and Eldridge. There will be Burlesque performers, free foods, crazy raffles and the first 100 to arrive will get a FREE gift bag from Babeland!! Plus, Semicolon and Haviland are going! The costume of the day is edgy black tie (for us), you can wear what you wish.

Ideas for signs for NO ON 8 Rally:
-Really 52% of Californians? Really?
-Ellen and Portia are HOT
-Hands Down Totes NO
-Give EZGirl the right to marry!
-Don't Leave Carmen De La Pica Morales alone at the altar!

OMG, I'm so clever, I should just be a sign-maker. This holiday season instead of doing t-shirts we will be selling signs.

Advice Column/Riese & Hav Vlog: So Hav and I obviously need to do another advice column vlog while she's in town. Some of you asked questions in August that I'm sure you still want answers to, if you haven't lost faith in us altogether. Askautowin@yahoo.com. Or just comment, but then everyone will know what a fuck-up you are. For the first time in advice column history I am offering you the chance to ask a question and get your answer within about two weeks, which's essentially record time, possibly even an acceptable turnaround time for taking action. Also you can ask us questions that have nothing to do with homosexuality or bisexuality, I promise. Like if you wanna know how to ride your husband's hobby horse, you know, give us a shot. You might be surprised what we know. If I was in the band "an horse," I would feel weird about saying that all the time. "An Horse." I mean it doesn't roll off the tongue. It's certainly no "Bruce Springsteen."

Auto-Fun:

Quote: "How attractive trouble feels in paradise. The place next door where pain is an option begins to whisper ... a wish to stir the stilled air with a serrated knife ... woo a stranger so you'll not be mutinous alone, to lie down knowingly among the nettles and the thorns." (stephen dunn, "paradise")

Links:
1. Obamaism: "It's a kind of religion. But one rooted in a deep faith in rationality. Last week, New York rejoiced in its promise. And sang the National Anthem in the streets." (@nymag)
2. When to Work for Free: "No one ever filled a gas tank or bought groceries with exposure." (@nytimes)
3. Foes, a new story by Lorrie Moore! (@the guardian uk)
4. Top Ten Most Irritating Phrases. (@the telegraph)
5. A Rough Night for Gay Obama Supporters: "Around us, the ecstatic volunteers updated the chant. "Yes! We! Did! Yes! We! Did!" When we got home from the celebration, we got the news about Proposition 8. (@salon)
6. Will the White House website work as a social network? (@slate)
7. With Lozo, Sloganx and EV Idiot all recently closing up shop I'm inclined to agree that to some extent ... the blog is dying. (@roughtype) My theory? We're either getting paid for it, or sick of doing it for free. I'm not getting paid for it, I am sick of doing it for free, but there's something else that keeps me here. Maybe it's just all I know at this point. I used to say it was leading into paying gigs, but are there any paying gigs anymore? I dunno. I think I'm determined to get paid by Google AdSense eventually. The Economist says blogging is no longer what it was. (@the economist, obvs)
Only two percent of bloggers can make a living from it. (@mediabistro). Excellent!
8. Socially conscious book buying (@good)
9. My Four Weddings: How Getting Gay Married Became an Olympic Sport for me or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mormons." (@the daily beast)
10. poem. prayers. by rae armantrout (@the new yorker)
11. Lindsay Lohan might be an actual bisexual, not a unicorn. (@afterellen)
12. Little Edie Beale: The Ultimate Recessionista (@jezebel)

insomnia poem #19

thinking now of a job i could believe in
a job to go to,
even
dress/stand for,
a uniform with a collar & logo
a shirt that smells like wok oil and afterwork
you wear it out 'cause
if it was between you and betty ford
on a desereted one drink island
you'd punch her paunch like red party punch
drunken licky lips and hi-ho all the way home

i'd like to job at edible arrangements.
i believe in pineapple flowers.
btw my heart is half apple, half blood,
bite me i can make a flower from a pineapple.

insomnia poem #20

no use fighting it.
these are my favorite hours of the day
fists full of cookie jar
should be sleeping
feeling out of it
yet still
impossibly, and for no reason at all,
able to write shit down and make poeple look at it.
even if it's just a few people.
like, hey, what's up. it's daytime
in australia.
it's nighttime on the west coast
here we are.
it's no time here in my bed here we are.

21 comments:

stef said...

SPOILER ALERT: GUYS THEY'RE GONNA KILL DANA. guess who's not gonna have showtime anymore after this month? party at your place! is this your lucky day or WHAT? i cannot make the friday thing cos of work. i took a screen cap of my word verification because i don't believe it's real.

also HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOZO! remember last year when we went to the psychic and lozo wouldn't get his fortune read and i told him if he did i'd make out with him? good, cos he doesn't either. he also didn't get his fortune told. everybody wins.

burningsteady said...

I mean, I was kind of hoping for a unicorn, but it's whatever.

autumn m said...

I was going to type a comment that used all ten of the most Irritating Phrases, but it took to much brain power. and i would probably end up sounding like a douche.
And as for the prop 8 b.s., I never knew something that didn’t effect me, would affect me so much.

Did you ever get a couch??

DJ2K8 said...

I was going to wear edgy black tie. Now I'd feel foolish doing so.

And, Stef, I really don't remember that. You probably should've offered oral. Who says no to oral?

riese said...

stef: I will be really pissed if Dana dies again. I have a feeling it's gonna involve Angelica.

I remember that psychic. I didn't get a reading 'cause I didn't want to know, which means i had to find out for myself if a mysterious man named Jose was going to come into my life at a point of change.

burningsteady: weren't we all.

autumn m: I feel like there are way more annoying phrases than the ones on that list, though I'm also not a fan of "at the end of the day." I prefer "ultimately," obvs, as I use that all the time.

I know, I feel like Keith Olberman feels the same way.

We did get a couch! Apparently it went in real easy peesy, it was from Alex's grandfather. We still have an un-put-together table, though.

dj2k8: I saw that you'd RSVP'ed. Are you REALLY going? That would be so funny. There's going to be a lot of people there who like to roll around naked.

Haviland Stillwell said...

your protest sign ideas are AMAZING, and I want one of each. Also, w/r/t the portia and ellen are HOT one, i think this would be a good time to roll out your "I'd go gay for..." beater. Full on.

Also, everyone should know the array of vloggetry coming their way. Perhaps we should ask for some advise column queries?

Mercury said...

I <3 insomnia poetry.
especially your edible pineapple/blood heart, and your time-zoneless bed.

I think my bed is in the same time zone as your bed.

word ver is almost a real word but not quite "Pediu"it reminds me of tedium or podium or pedicure

DJL2K8 said...

Who DOESN'T like to roll around naked? I'm attempting to bring you a housewarming gift, but it's not there anymore. I've seen it every day, and once you moved, it was like it disappeared. So maybe you bought it for yourself already, and that's why it's gone.

But yeah, I'm planning on dropping by. I don't know if I can take the full three hours surrounded by that much gayness. Maybe 2:45.

AK said...

Yeahha. "Hands Down Totes No" is hands down totes the one.

Blogging may be passe, but I can't live without flickr. Professionals are hardly ever going to get a good picture of a cat, especially an abyssinian.

riese said...

haviland: see, it used to be just our little secret that you never actually read my blog, but now everyone knows.

mercury: is "i think my bed is in the same time zone as your bed" a pick-up line? 'cause if it's not, it should be.

DJL2K8: Animals like rolling around naked more than humans I think. I still have your Gonzo doll from February. I'll bring it just in case. Who am I kidding. I'll forget it.

Most of the people there will be straight FYI.

AK: Maybe flickr blogging is the new hands down totes the thing. We all know how I feel about cats, but I take a mean picture of a stuffed dog.

autumn m said...

didnt one time you say you wanted a lemon tree? i wanna buy you a house warming tree, but im afraid you would let it die. =(

autumn m said...

tell me you heard about Connecticut!!!!!!!!!!! yes? no? thoughts?

Leah said...

Going to the protest in Seattle Saturday. Might send pics, hoping it doesn't rain. Except, if it does, it will be way more passionate.

Everyone should send pics, like you did for the No on Prop 8 collage you made. I liked that.

My sign is gonna read:
"52% Yes on Prop H8te.
52% Divorce rate..."

There's a wonderful video you should see if you haven't already. It'll help make sense of my sign. Not as witty as your fab signs, but relevant just the same.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cca5e8a78a/protect-marriage-protect-children-prohibit-divorce-from-jonathan-smith

Leah said...

Sorry that didn't come up as a link. I'm not good with those things. Everyone: Please take the time to copy/paste. It's good...

riese said...

autumn m: Natalie would totally water the lemon tree. But she's in South Africa right now. So when she gets back then we will need a lemon tree. Connecticut! Yeah! That's good! That's a little tiny state. Do people live there?

Leah: I hope it doesn't rain 'cause Alex is gonna have a faux-hawk and that'd suck if it got ruined. I didn't know the divorce rate went up, omg! Oh, I watched the video. also in my email it did come up as a good link, so I got to link it and I liked it yay!

emilymiller said...

will there be dancing at the white rabbit?

Jul said...

Okay, my site is totally different than yours. But I have to say that I love the vlogs. You're both funny, quick-witted, and interesting enough to actually hold my attention...a rare thing in this world unless you're angelina jolie doing anything, or gisele in stilettos.

Lexi said...

I am protesting prop 8 this weekend on the lovely streets of youngstown!

autumn m said...

so it's settled!!! when natalie gets back, i am totally sending you a lemon tree!!! i just have to figure out how to get one there without it dying......
Anyways, there is totally a prop 8 sucks rally in springfield, mo(like 40 min. away) and i was totally going to go. but...sadly i have to work =(. i was kind of excited about it to. stupid job.

Meghan said...

I so want a bouquet of pineapple flowers.

Vashti said...

I'm protesting in Eugene not just on Saturday but also tonight. I don't know what my sign's going to say for Saturday though.. =/