Showing posts with label sex blogger calendar party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex blogger calendar party. Show all posts

Monday, November 17, 2008

Obvs I Cannot Leave the Apartment Again Until December at the earliest

So many things happening! Firstly, Carly's interview with Tinkerbell's favorite band Uh Huh Her is on Logo's NewNowNextMusic, watch it! Secondly, anyone who read Autowin back in the day may remember Rambo, my go-to het before [I stopped working at the lit agency and became an underperforming client of the agency instead and] Lozo came into my life. Rambo -- "Stephen" if you're nasty -- does Publishers Weekly's Soapbox this week and he mentions the Query Letter Drinking Game that Cameron and I wrote, and that makes me happy. Read it!

Thirdly, BIG weekend for me w/r/t leaving the apartment.

1) The Sex Blogger Calendar Release Party ! [photo of A;ex and I at the party, left, from calendar photographer Stacie Joy ]

I hear a lot of fun things happened at this party. Photographs suggest strippers, snacks, signings, and general revelry. I remember having a conversation with the good ppl from njoy.com -- they sponsored our calendar and sell a variety of delightful sexual toys on their superhot website -- and that they very gamely entertained my attempts at self-deprecation when I told them that although I hadn't yet plugged them and their fabulousness yet, I totally would, but that they shouldn't stress 'cause all my readers are poor and don't like sex. See, I thought that was funny at the time.

As I've mentioned about 500 times, I'm not exactly "outgoing," so when you combine my personality with "very very drunk" and "my BFF from Los Angeles just flew in yesterday and is here!" and even a guest appearance by LOZO and one of the random Jewish boys he carts around with him -- I apparently managed to ensconse myself into my own little world so thoroughly that the only person who asked me to sign their calendar is also in the calendar.

Maybe I was not recognized sans wig. Maybe I radiate hostility. You never know! When she asked me, I think I said something retarded about myself, like "that's not me," or 'I'm a virgin," or ... really it's all a big blur in my head 'til the part when we were at a diner w/Haviland, A;ex and A;ex's friend Colleen eating grilled cheese and french fries, a meal I probs should've consumed about five hours earlier.

I also recall chatting with my friends Morgan and Diane, seeing Caitlin Mae in a stewardess outfit, calling my Mom (deathiversary day), listening to a voice mail from my Grandma that made me cry and I had to step outside (thank G-d for Haviland obvs), and some woman telling us we couldn't sit at the Raffle table and the eternally kick-ass Jayme Waxman being like "whatevs, I am Wonder Woman, they can sit wherevs they want."

ANYHOW! The party was awesome, ladies got nekkid, the calendar is hot, Buy one! 100% of the proceeds go to Sex Work Awareness.

2) No on Prop 8 Rally!

Over 10,000 people came to this giant gathering of homosexual love at City Hall on november 15th, 2008, to protest the passing of Prop 8, and obvs A;ex, Haviland and I were among them. There's lots of reasons that a person might wish they were a bird. One of those is when you wanna know how big a protest is or where those voices are coming from. We discovered the latter when we chose to leave the masses to get a latte and find Carly, which's also when we realized how HUGE it was. An amazing inspirational mass of people who've come together for this cause and believe in it. We believe in it enough to come together all over the country for California.

This is serious, y'all, the times they are a'changin'. The intolerant people are gonna have to move to deserted islands, apparently there are lots of deserted islands all over the world, according to A;ex, this came up in a conversation about how I think I know everything but I don't. Allegedly.

Although I would've preferred the Dazzle Dancers performing for us as well as some Mormons to yell at directly, I tried to summon all the revolutionary spirit of my ancestors and yell at the choir just the same. Kim Stolz actually rocked the mike and I'm not just saying that 'cause I fancy her, and the signs obvs were amazing as I'm sure you've read. We didn't have a sign because we overslept (see: Sex Bloggers Party) and arrived fully prepared for a rainshower.

I just hope that we can make something happen, obvs, I heart the cause.

I mean everyone should marry who they want to, and anyone who disagrees with me --- well, I hate you. If you voted Yes on Prop 8, I'm sorry, I just hate you!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Auto-Fun of Nov. 11th 2008: Like a Kite That Floats So Effortlessly

Intro, The Week to Come: There's this Azure Ray song "November." Every November I listen to it and feel really emo: so we're speeding towards that time of year, to the day that marks that you're not here. This week leaves little time for emo, there's so much going on! ... Rising Star Haviland Stillwell is coming to town, it's Stef's birthday on Wednesday, The Sex Blogger Calendar Release Party is on Friday, and then there's this Saturday's NO ON 8 Rally at NYC's city hall (wanna read my opinion on it again okay here, wanna watch it okay here ). I might even recap South of Nowhere ! Or set up my room! Or put up curtains in the living room!

Also. Also. Also. It's Lozo's birthday today!

Where's Papi?: The L Word Season Six Promo is out! So far Shane's hair seems to be on a good track. Someone's gonna get killed apparently. My money's on Jodi, she'll be like "I never even heard them coming!" Hey-o!

Where's Hedwig? You know who else has a teaser out? The New York Sex Blogger Calendar! We were in Em&Lo's Daily Bedpost, for which I continued my erratic support for this project with a two-line bio I don't remember writing. Holler! 6:30 - 9:30 pm at the White Rabbit on 145 E. Houston between Forsyth and Eldridge. There will be Burlesque performers, free foods, crazy raffles and the first 100 to arrive will get a FREE gift bag from Babeland!! Plus, Semicolon and Haviland are going! The costume of the day is edgy black tie (for us), you can wear what you wish.

Ideas for signs for NO ON 8 Rally:
-Really 52% of Californians? Really?
-Ellen and Portia are HOT
-Hands Down Totes NO
-Give EZGirl the right to marry!
-Don't Leave Carmen De La Pica Morales alone at the altar!

OMG, I'm so clever, I should just be a sign-maker. This holiday season instead of doing t-shirts we will be selling signs.

Advice Column/Riese & Hav Vlog: So Hav and I obviously need to do another advice column vlog while she's in town. Some of you asked questions in August that I'm sure you still want answers to, if you haven't lost faith in us altogether. Askautowin@yahoo.com. Or just comment, but then everyone will know what a fuck-up you are. For the first time in advice column history I am offering you the chance to ask a question and get your answer within about two weeks, which's essentially record time, possibly even an acceptable turnaround time for taking action. Also you can ask us questions that have nothing to do with homosexuality or bisexuality, I promise. Like if you wanna know how to ride your husband's hobby horse, you know, give us a shot. You might be surprised what we know. If I was in the band "an horse," I would feel weird about saying that all the time. "An Horse." I mean it doesn't roll off the tongue. It's certainly no "Bruce Springsteen."

Auto-Fun:

Quote: "How attractive trouble feels in paradise. The place next door where pain is an option begins to whisper ... a wish to stir the stilled air with a serrated knife ... woo a stranger so you'll not be mutinous alone, to lie down knowingly among the nettles and the thorns." (stephen dunn, "paradise")

Links:
1. Obamaism: "It's a kind of religion. But one rooted in a deep faith in rationality. Last week, New York rejoiced in its promise. And sang the National Anthem in the streets." (@nymag)
2. When to Work for Free: "No one ever filled a gas tank or bought groceries with exposure." (@nytimes)
3. Foes, a new story by Lorrie Moore! (@the guardian uk)
4. Top Ten Most Irritating Phrases. (@the telegraph)
5. A Rough Night for Gay Obama Supporters: "Around us, the ecstatic volunteers updated the chant. "Yes! We! Did! Yes! We! Did!" When we got home from the celebration, we got the news about Proposition 8. (@salon)
6. Will the White House website work as a social network? (@slate)
7. With Lozo, Sloganx and EV Idiot all recently closing up shop I'm inclined to agree that to some extent ... the blog is dying. (@roughtype) My theory? We're either getting paid for it, or sick of doing it for free. I'm not getting paid for it, I am sick of doing it for free, but there's something else that keeps me here. Maybe it's just all I know at this point. I used to say it was leading into paying gigs, but are there any paying gigs anymore? I dunno. I think I'm determined to get paid by Google AdSense eventually. The Economist says blogging is no longer what it was. (@the economist, obvs)
Only two percent of bloggers can make a living from it. (@mediabistro). Excellent!
8. Socially conscious book buying (@good)
9. My Four Weddings: How Getting Gay Married Became an Olympic Sport for me or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mormons." (@the daily beast)
10. poem. prayers. by rae armantrout (@the new yorker)
11. Lindsay Lohan might be an actual bisexual, not a unicorn. (@afterellen)
12. Little Edie Beale: The Ultimate Recessionista (@jezebel)

insomnia poem #19

thinking now of a job i could believe in
a job to go to,
even
dress/stand for,
a uniform with a collar & logo
a shirt that smells like wok oil and afterwork
you wear it out 'cause
if it was between you and betty ford
on a desereted one drink island
you'd punch her paunch like red party punch
drunken licky lips and hi-ho all the way home

i'd like to job at edible arrangements.
i believe in pineapple flowers.
btw my heart is half apple, half blood,
bite me i can make a flower from a pineapple.

insomnia poem #20

no use fighting it.
these are my favorite hours of the day
fists full of cookie jar
should be sleeping
feeling out of it
yet still
impossibly, and for no reason at all,
able to write shit down and make poeple look at it.
even if it's just a few people.
like, hey, what's up. it's daytime
in australia.
it's nighttime on the west coast
here we are.
it's no time here in my bed here we are.