Friday, November 14, 2008

automatic fundamentalist movement of the day: 11.14.2008

I've been feeling weird lately. No words, just weird. No lies, just love. No woman, no cry. Listen up.

1. Hey! Are you a computer programmer/web designer person? Remember that day in February when I screamed at Haviland on the phone, tore down a bunch of stuff from my walls and then took down my website? Barely? Yeah me too. I think I also took down my blog for many minutes, but I might be thinking about another day, that's my number one go-to action in a moment of crisis.

So Stef & Alex, my crack team of "website makers" who really take the time to do things right ... are apparently at a crossroads w/the website that they cannot traverse without ... um, well, here's Stef explaining it: "the one thing i cannot figure out how to do is keep the sections highlighted while you're on a particular page. that's something that i think requires flash, but jade thinks it can be done with php. as i never planned on being a web designer in the first place (tiny violins), i never learned these things. i should! but i didn't."

Anyone? Email: big exit.

I personally have developed an almost violent reaction to any & all offers to work (for me work = write) for "exposure" (translation = unpaid). Until I can trade exposure for a colt and/or vodka and/or an amber wave of grain, I got all the free exposure I need. Luckily I'm not offering you any exposure. I don't know if this is something that takes a long time, but clearly you know -- 'zine, t-shirt, stickers, L Word Season Five on DVD, autographed snapshot of Haviland Stillwell -- just say so. You want to. If it becomes a big project and you need to get paid, um, then maybe we can work something out. I'm expecting at least $20 at Christmas, so. No srsly I am.

Quote: "I realized that once people are broken in certain ways they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one." (Douglass Coupland, Life After God)

Link-a-Dink:
1. Ann Arbor my hometown! Voted one of the most gay-friendly places to live. I don't know anything about this nonsense. (@mlive)
2. Yes, yes they are: is the books world short-changing its bright young women ? (@the guardian uk)
3. Southern voters weren't the only whites who didn't vote Obama. (@slate)
4. n+1 on bolano (adam, it's a party just for you) and Sam Anderson on Bolano. Also someone tell me how to make that accent mark. The one that's supposed to be over the "n." (@nymag)
5. Don't Blame the Journalism - on the decli
6. Amazing interview with Dan Savage (@mediabistro)
7. 350... the most important number in the world that nobody's talking about (@good magazine)
8. Internet is mind control. (@nytimes)
9. Can Obama Save the Media Industry ? (Sub question: Can Dramatic Headlines Like That One from Newsweek Save the Media Industry That Happens to Include Nesweek?) (@newsweek)
10. South of Nowhere Recap! Season Three, Episode 12: Love & Kisses.
11. Susan Powter on "The Morning Show":

Mike: "Here's the thing: I didn't know know you were a lesbian."
Susan: "What planet were you living on?" (@afterellen)

pictures from tapedeck.I totally found all the ones I used to use, the 90 minute tapes to make mix tapes. The internet is neat.
2. This is a good post so far, yeah? Anyhow, I've given up on blogrolling ever fixing itself ... so I'm fixing stuff in the sidebars myself as I do other work. If I owe you a link and you don't see it up within the next few days, holler.

3. OMG OMG! I just had a brilliant idea about how to keep the internet media going because all these magazines and stuff are closing but it's not 'cause people aren't reading newspapers, 'cause they ARE, they just aren't paying for it anymore, making it hard for good journalists to go into journalism and live off it. And bloggers are quitting left & right and omg. Okay the idea is that internet service providers tack on a like 20 dollar annual tax or something to everyone's internet, and at the start of every year, everyone who gets internet pays that tax and they are given the choice of distributing it to whatever media source they wish. Like you might give $15 to HuffoPo and $5 to the New York Times or you might give $2 to every good blog you read like mine. Yeah?

Okay, the other idea is that someone should put together a gift certificate site in the same way that Justgive.org or Charity Choice operates, except about 5% as noble. So if you have a friend who's big into blogs, you can give here a justgivetobloggers.org "gift certificate" online that she can then use to donate to the blogs of her choice that she really likes and has always wanted to throw some cash to but never been able to afford it. Yeah?

Except really you should probs forget all this and give your money to real charities. Although here's the thing -- you actually could, because you could give to like a noble news provider e.g., truthdig, or you could give to like the free tibet blog.

4. Wanna see what I look like as my alter ego, Hedwig the Fabulous Tinkerbell? The best part is that, ISO a post about actual sex, they had to find their pullquote from the big strip club trip of '07, exclusively covered on Autowin since Lozo doesn't have his blog up anymore sigh.

18 comments:

Kelly said...

Your are a talented writer. Talented writers need websites that reflect their talent. I wish I had the brains to do it for you. However I can reccomend Ewebscapes.com. They did TLL for me. They can hook you up with your own domain and a design that lives up to your words. At least go get an estemate from them.

a;ex said...

I googled "Marie Lyn Bernard gorgeous" and that picture came up.

I feel weird lately too.
And by 'lately' I mean since I drank 2 glasses of wine at 6pm and then got verbally hate-crimed by my mom for cutting my hair off.
No words either.

I don't know what to say about this website shit. I'm so frustrated. Soon I'm gonna start having second thoughts about the design and then I'll really drive myself crazy.

umm anyway! Basically what we're looking for is the ability to make a mouse-over effect stay highlighted once you actually click it.

I hope this makes sense to someone. Also, I'll shut up now cause I don't know anything... xo!

basia said...

why would you want a colt? the colts suck. i'm drunk.

NEP said...

a;ex: i feel like you would need to use javascript or DHTML for that but i don't think i completely understand your prob. an example would help?

also, if it makes you feel better, at least you didn't stumble into a jean louis david after an all-u-can-drink happy hour and get a mulletesque hackjob. it wasn't one of my finer moments.

a'win: i actually still have a ton of mixtapes from the 90s, but they sound like garbled circus music now because i kept them loose in an old shoebox. i listened to one recently and it had the california dreams theme (taped off the TV) on it. it was a clear memorex with the neon accents. HOT.

stef said...

it's a mouseover that needs to stay highlighted when you click it to open something in a separate iframe! that's what it is. and don't second guess that design because it's beautiful.

too bad nobody else from that strip club adventure was around to blog it, huh?

Mercury said...

I feel weird lately too.
Like since... Friday saturday thursday? the end of last week sometime. and it's not really going away!! and I'm making questionable choices. like even right now as we speak.

my best friend & I were on the phone today and she was like... "I don't know? I just feel weird, like depressed lately," and I was like, "me too."

Oh moods! what are these things? maybe the planets are conspiring against us. Every once in a while I'll be like "there must be a transit."

I wrote some of the weirdest/best journal entries the last few days. including a frightening amount of 3rd person.

If I could write websites I totally would write you a website. I don't even know the correct terminology for these things, so obviously, I'm not your gal. If your website needs highlights or a haircut call me ok? or if it wants its helicopter flown. I actually don't know how to do that yet, but I'm gonna learn.

yay weird moods! that picture of you is adorable, like 'ah-dor-ahhbl" the way the French say it. I love your smile, it is so genuine and sweet and so not I am a sexy model here to seduce you and look angry and like possibly I was abused and have severe emotional problems.

distosma is my word ver, I feel like that would be a condition you could have. like "I'm sorry, I can't, my distosma's been acting up" or whatever. yeah?

Anonymous said...

Nep is correct. You'll need to use a dynamic language for your dynamic links. But perhaps i have misunderstood the problem. You are using frames to the web address in the frame isn't changing when you click a link right? The only possible way i could think to do this in php is using the onclick function to refresh the frame or something. If you have already written most of the code in HTML os PHP then it would be easier to write a section of DHTML. If you've never used DHTML then i can send you some sample code with the functions you'll need.

a;ex said...

those tape decks are so awesome and very pleasing to my eye.

thanks Stef :) re: the design.

You know how we all get weird and moods change when the weather changes? This is my theory for the plague of weird moods taking over.

touché, nep. also, thanks for your code knowledge. apparently you're correct and we do need to use DHTML.

Also, Riese, you make the thing over the "n" by pressing: Option + N and then type the letter "n" again and it should go... hopefully...

autumn m said...

ñ.....thats pretty cool right¿? i find thats the only cool thing i learned in high school during web design class. its an Alt code. hold Alt and type 0241 and....ñ pretso!!! accented letter.
and pretty much, you're now miss June. how does that make you feel?? you can go up to people and be all like, "yeah, i might look familiar, i was miss june." then totally just walk away and let them think about it.
i would pay you. just cause im that kind of person. and if there was a 'give riese money cause she needs it' charity, i would totally donate. maybe you should make one.....just an idea.
alex: i absolutely love your usage of the words verbal hate-crime. that made my day. funny crap. and as for a hair cut, as long as you didnt go all psycho head shaver on us, your good. but if you did, it could be a fashion statement. you could draw a smiley face on your bald head, it would be cool.... no?

Adam said...

alternatively, ñ is alt-164.

I haven't been to the party yet, since I'm fashionably late to everything, but I'll rant once I've been and left early because I got too drunk too fast and am embarrassed to vomit in n+1's bathroom sink, but not embarrassed to vomit in the middle of one of those christmas-tree-selling stands they set up on the streets. Are those up yet?

God, I need to be in New York yesterday. Jobs, where are you?

Adam said...

So...um...

The n+1 article was pretty good. I mean, If the worst I can pin on them for self-indulgence is coining 'Seinfeldian'...

Thanks for the link, and also for the link to our mutual bff Sammy A.

DJLOMG said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm starting to miss my blog too. Sigh.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Oh, what I would do for an autographed snapshot of Haviland Stillwell. Wish I could come out to the par-tay later, but I've got a game to cover.

PS
A;ex is still my favorite even if she's got shorter hair than Tinkerbell.

MoonKiller said...

I think you can do it by using Fireworks and making buttons. I'm not sure what help that is really but we did something like that for my ICT project.

And I think maybe this weird mood we're all feeling is called 'autumn' but maybe that's just me.

caitlinmae said...

dear A;EX, HAV, and RIESE-
my friend desmond and I won like eightyfive tickets to CineKink- which appears to be a porn festival in February. As you are our dearly beloved/our reason for attending the sexbloggers event, we would like to extend an invitation to you to accompany us to a screening or two of your choice.
best,
Caitlin and Desmond
PS= Haviland, if you'll be west at said moment, offer is redeemable upon your return.
xox y'alls looked fantastic tonight xoxc

eric mathew said...

omfg. can i just say how fucjking hot you look in that picture. i literally was straight for a second.

anyhoo, i hate the slacker blog feeling. but i worked 72 hours last week. shit you no time to write.

anyhoo, your uber gorge.

riese said...

kelly: Indeed ... the medium is the message, etc. I already have my own domain and design, I just need help with some of the coding.

a;ex: I googled "alex vega gorgeous" and I got a weird picture of you in a wig and gold hot pants and rollerskates, I dunno. We can't both have second thoughts about our chosen paths at the same time then we'll be a big mess. i feel like this must make sense to someone for chrissake.

>basia: Don't colts grow up to be cowboys? or horses? are you talking about the sport?

nep: ok email stef: big.exit.stef@gmail.com and she can give you an example i bet. if you want to. once i stumbled into jean louis david after a train ride from vassar to manhattan and said i wanted my hair to be red. They turned it sort of purplish. Burgandy, maybe. Then I went to go see my bff and he said "what happened to your hair" and I said I'd been starving all day and needed a yogurt.

I have a ton of mixtapes from the 90's too, I like the cases. I'm gonna give out mixtapes for xmas.

stef: I know, it is too bad that no one else from that strip club adventure was around to blog it. If there was, I'd probs give them a label, and they could've done a pullquote of me with my eyes bugging out during the lapdance instead, 'cause that would be way better than my quote. that last sentence is true.

mercury: i think possibly we've felt weird all our lives, it was just that for a while everyone was so distracted by the election and actual Real Issues for a while so we stopped being so emo. Also the time change and the darkness, though it's always dark in Alaska I hear. Third person is, I agree, always frightening, moreso after Sarah Palin took it up.

I'm glad that my smile has adequently covered my years of tribulations and abuse.

anonymous: I don't know who you are and I know only vaugely what DHTML but I think I love you and you should email Stef! And then everything will be perfect and you can get a t-shirt!

a;ex: I think the mood changing when the weather changing thing that you describe is seasonal affective disorder. as you know i am plagued by that in the summertime.

ñ omg!!!!!!!!

autumñ m: they teach web design classes in high school now? kids these days, omg. I wonder what month i will be in the hot blogger calendar. I think June is a good month to be in this one because mostly people will be on vaycay and not have to sit in their offices looking at my silly face.

There is an auto-win charity for auto-win! it's on the left sidebar where it says "donate!" with a paypal button, and then a little further down where it says "damn the man, save the empire" etc. holler!

adam: so many ways to make an ñ! there should be an easy way to turn this into an "n+1" joke but I don't know what it is yet. as i'm sure you could've guessed i didn't read that n+1 article.

it's mostly my style to rsvp to the party, say i'm really gonna try to make it, get drunk at home while getting ready, and then decide to stay home and eat french fries. after a while i feel guilty about this and maybe shoot someone an apology text message. i think this means i'll read the intro paragraph some time within the next 24 hours.

Jobs are so 90's.

djlomg: I know, I don't know what you're thinking, where are you gonna let out all your pent-up aggression.

the brooklyn boy: Game, shmame, Lozo came! Alex looks like Tegan now. I call her "Tegan."

moonkiller: fireworks? buttons! i want to make firework buttons for sure. I usually love autumn. the person, and the season.

caitlinmae: oooo you DID? At the sex party after we left? Obvs count us in, Alex loves porn! y'all look fantastic last night as well, my memories of the evening are vague, but get better around the part where I had a grilled cheese sandwich.

eric mathew: are you drunk!? I like that you like the picture where i look like a trannie, I think that it doesn't make you straight but still gay, for sure. uber gorge for sure too.

caitlinmae said...

lozo was there last night?! I was thisclose to my lifelong dream of dave lozo in the flesh, and it slipped by?! Auto lose! Grilled cheese is fab and so are you. Hope your protesting was most pleasant/effective.
Word veri is rehead = something naughty or = the burlesque dancer who is my new one true love