Wednesday, July 02, 2008

auto fun. (!!!) seven-two-two thousand and eight.

Remember that one time that contest ended a day early, right when I was just about to have a last-minute comeback? I wouldn't wanna do that to y'all. To be fair, you've got 'til midnight on July 2nd to get to page 165 of Oscar Wao. I finished it last week, obvs, 'cause Diaz's prose has serious velocity and I had no choice but to ride it to the finish line. Okay, really ... I'm still ironing out my discussion questions/finding out what a book club is and then at 12:01 on July 3rd (give or take 12 hours), I'm gonna start attacking you with spoilers so BE READY. Read, grasshoppers, READ!

Speaking of attacks, tonight our Urban Professionals Basketball Team, The Rockford Peaches, took on "The Stars." Guess what kind of stars? I'll give you a hint: I accidentally foreshadowed this in the post about our last game.

Luckily, the Peaches had already exchanged emails about our relative skills (mine included typing and trash-talk), which really helped today -- like we all learned that one of our players is secretly a Nike all-star. And this time we DID NOT get crushed! It was super-close, we were close, it was a tight game! We scored a lot of points! (Not me. I'm defo not an asset, but I did get a little skinned knee! BATTLE WOUND!) We scored the first basket!

Our skills were possibly on par with the other team, but how do you beat seven girls who've probs been in Yeshiva together since 1985 [& their gigantic blonde friend who I believe was imported from the Swedish hinterlands to offer some height and some thigh-reveal]? You can't. We did good. Dayenu.

Obviously if I knew more about basketball, which I actually thought I did until I tried to play it again, I'd talk more about the game and less about the cultural background and outfits of the opposing team. I'd have better "game plans" than "throw a bunch of meat and milk out there -- TOGETHER!" You wouldn't think a girl in a below-the-knee skirt and below-the-elbows shirt would have such a killer shot, but that particular girl was particularly good. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that the only way to win a basketball game is to be good at basketball. I'm Jewish too, but Hashem was not listening to my prayers, although I believe G-d heard me when a girl threw a basketball at Carly's face and I yelled "YOU GUYS ARE REALLY MEAN!"

As you can see in that photo of our pre-pre-pre game huddle, I was already over it.

We had lots of fans though! E.g., Haviland! and Brooklyn Boy! [see Lozo, if you don't come and coach us, someone else will. Ha - HA!]

GO (kosher) PEACHES!

quote: "Come back to me sometimes. I wander now too, / am a shadow with you here in this other life." (from "Keepsake" by Phillip White)

1. The Most Anticipated Books of 2008. (@the millions)
2. How an Independent Bookstore Can Survive. (@the guardian uk books)
3. Minister Explores the Spiritual Side of Bruce Springsteen. (@la times via truthdig)
4. The Secret, Pro-Life Message of The Secret Life of the American Teenager (@jezebel)
5. NPR is actually expanding its book coverage! Go Bobos! (@publisher's weekly)
6. Proof of what I've been saying all along: flip-flops are bad for you. (@live science)
7. Liz Phair on "Guyville" (@culture vulture)
8. Apparently, it's time for facebook addicts to "face the music." (@the times online)
9. You Can't Take it With You: Rauschenberg's fascination with the objects of the world (@the smart set)
10. Where Has all the Passion Gone? (what happened to campus radicalism?) (@the times higher ed)


eric mathew said...

wow that picture is all sorts of hottness and for serious y'all there is all sorts of beautiful judaism going on in your report from the game. especially how you put Dayenu into it, because I feel like Dayenu can be equated to a gold record. Like you can play Genie in a Bottle so many times and it never gets old, just like Dayenu. I'm not going to lie, I would have been scared of the ladies on the other team. I'm just saying the ultra jews don't like me... and maybe it's because in hebrew school i used to walk out of bar mitzvah lessons when the cantor gave me attitude. but like i'm sorry, we pay to much in bills for the temple, he can't give me attitude.... does he know who i am?

wait... this does not even make sense.

anyway. your uniforms are cute, they are yellow, rosie would be happy. and does carly have a clip board. wow. that is like real intense. cait looks very into the convo, did you know we have semi mutual friends.

okay. wow. anyway... umm.. let is shine.

kath said...

i just shed a tear from the sheer hilarity of that story. you should crush a peach before every game in clear view for the opposing team as a scare tactic. then feed it to them after they lose. or just play music by peaches for your warm-up. that could be pretty terrifying in itself. just a little. in a good way.

NEP said...

i had a game tonight and lost too, except we play kickball not basketball ... and also rock the yellow t-shirts.

approximately 99% of the league hates us because we are sore losers, talk alot of trash and have a fairly offensive team name.

howevs, we are the best at drinking at the league sponsored bar (like how in little league you would all go to establishment on the back of your shirts) which is where all the glory and respect is really earned.

you need something like that so even if you lose the game, you can make up for it elsewhere and still feel like winners.

also, a fun thing to do is get wasted and write dirty, inappropriate things in sharpie on your team jerseys which is both distracting and offensive to future opponents.

Dave Lozo said...

i bet knowing the schedule and the location of the game aided him in his showing up. f off.

caitlin said...

i can't believe we lost to a bitch in a skirt. also, carly literally looked up after getting nailed in the face with the ball and said "is my eye still in my socket" which was one of the most amazing things that anyone has ever said to me.

also, i love flip flops and refuse to read that article, although my mother also forwarded me that article.

riese said...

eric mathew - It was our favorite game to play "dayenu' with the Michigan Fab Five basketball team at Passover -- "If they'd recruited Chris Webber -- dayenu. If they'd recruited Chris Webber and Jalen Rose -- dayenu. If they'd made it to the sweet sixteen -- dayenu" and so on to the part where we lost the championship. Really this is just to say that I love I can count on you to get my Jewish references. Also they didn't like me at hebrew school either 'cause I was a dork.

kath - That's a good idea. We need to get a giant peach and if anyone throws a basketball at anyone's eye socket, we can just throw it at their face, since apparently that's allowed. i'm gonna get a peaches song with a lot of swear words in it.

NEP - I didnt' even know kickball was a team sport, I feel like I'd be better at that, 'cause you probs take turns dong stuff without people all up in your grill.
After the game we didn't drink any alcohol, but we totally went to pinkberry and I had green tea with three toppings; raspberries, bananas and cookie crumbles. It was delicious!

Dave Lozo - are you a member of the rockford peaches facebook group? Yes, yes I believe you are. Did Brooklyn Boy have special information? No, no he did not. Did we even know he was coming? No. I assume he just looked at the facebook group schedule with his eyes in his sockets, just like you could've done.

caitlin: I know, baruch hashem that can never happen again. I think our best hope for next week is a match-up against the women from the polygamist ranch in Texas.

Anonymous said...

OMG. I am so loving reading about your escapades with The Peaches. All shades of awesome. It totally reminds me of when I lived there and my gay BFF begged me to join the New York City Gay Hockey Association. (I declined, of course, on account of my overactive imagination imagining myself falling and someone slicing my face open with his blade, etc., so I can totally identify with Carly and the whole eye / socket question / trauma.)

Oh. And I WILL be ready for the book club! I'm not right this second, but I will be! I blogged it, so it must be! (Just, um, try to make it "GIVE" twelve hours, as opposed to "TAKE"? Hmmm?)

Bokolis said...

Regarding an earlier exchange:

Poom-poom shorts >> Latina version of short-shorts / Daisy Dukes, etc.

PSA for more poom-poom shorts. I can't see the pictures at work. Are y'all wearing poom-pooms?

Will pinkberry make me more pleasant? I shudder at the thought...of having to march down to 2nd Ave.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

For the record, Cait gave me a heads up about the game when I texted her to tell you that I read "Oscar Wao" nearly straight through on the bus down to DC.

Also, that blonde girl was huuuge. Too bad for her team she sucked.

Y'all played a helluva game, from Carly's buzzer-beater to tie it at the half (How did you not mention this?!) to the lockdown D and everything-except-the-bucket offensive efficiency in the second half.

Three things to keep working on for next time:

1) If y'all stick with that 2-3 zone, play your spot on the floor, not the person. Keep an eye on them, and close out if the ball swings their way. Trust yer teammates to do the same, and the D will be tighter than ... well, I'll let you auto-winners fill in the blank with something creative.

2) Use more pick-and-rolls to initiate the offense. Ask Carly about this. Also, move after making passes and if someone picks up their dribble, help them out by moving around to give them a target.

3) Stay level-headed and get back on D right quick, whether y'all turned it over or made a bucket *cough*Semicolon*cough* (With love, kid. Good shot.) Yer team's D is def good enough for you to win some games without playing particularly well on offense.

a;ex said...

Thanks BB! Listen, obvs defense is important to me... but you know whats even more important? Celebrating after a shot. That's right.
Thanks for the sideline coaching.

Lozo, your turn.

Thanks for the Rauschenberg link, I had no idea that he passed away! Let's make collages in his honor, k? Great!

Lewnard said...

I'm having trouble keeping up a good pace on Oscar Wao b/c it seems every few pages I have to call my cuban-american friend for a translation. As this practice has proliferated they have become less responsive, stymieing my progress.

I wish Diaz included a glossary of terms or that I payed more attention/cared about Spanish class.

Glad to see you're still playing b-ball. We Bernards are a lanky breed so stick that monkey arm all up in some poor girls grill.

NEP said...

yes, yes kickball is fairly non-contact but i actually think i'd fare better on a bball court than a kickball field. per brooklyn boy's suggestion at a zone defense, you could maybe try a 2-1-2 with your tallest person in the middle (monkey arms are especially effective in this spot) trash talking with wild arm thrashing to provide maximum on-court mayhem.

i'm a pinkberry addict, but sadly they only have designer imposter sour fro-yo here with awful rip-off names like tangysweet and sweet green. they all suck, but now i am wishing my post-game celebration included frozen yogurt and not my weight in alcohol.

sidenote: my pinkberry fav is original with blackberries, mango and strawberries.

riese said...

atherton: I bet if basketball involved blades, I would've opted out for fear of injury and permanent disfiguration. Luckily the only blades are the elbows of other girls, but let's be honest, I don't "go in" much anyway. Yay book club!

bokolis: OOO, poom-poom shorts sound delicious, like Vega's gold shorts from Halloween. We're not wearing poom-pooms, I was wearing Nike workout shorts. I can't speak for my teammates. Also, pinkberry makes ME more pleasant, but I don't know about y'all.

brooklyn boy: see lozo you could've just read Wao and then you'd know when the game was.
I think you paid much better attention to the game than I did, though I enjoyed Carly's buzzer-beating shot too. I hope everyone reads your advice for sure, 'cause obvs I did, but I think one minute of me-play per game is about the maximum we can afford without me ruining everything.
How's "tighter than a twelve-year-old" to finish that sentence? I heard it in the bathroom at our playing venue.

a;ex: OOO, like when I went "Good shot baby!" from the score-keeping table? That was good celebration. We should make collages and sell them as a Factory Project Fundraiser. Slash Rauschenberg memorial fund.

lewnard:Also, I think you can just either garner from context or figure that if it was that important to the plot, he would've footnoted it? That's what I did.
I tried sticking my arms in other people's faces, but that's about the only talent I've got. No coordination or anything.
Hey! Call Mom, she thought you'd disappeared last week and called me in a hot panic.

nep: Hm, good idea, Carly and Cait should take note of that tall-girl-in-the-middle plan, I'll be on the bench providing moral and support.
Tangysweet sounds like a discontinued flavoured condom. I wonder what not-sweet green tastes like.
On all other nights, I drink my weight in alcohol, FYI.

carlytron said...

Umm you guys the ball-to-the-face thing is absolutely nothing compared to what happened to my ankle. It's still swollen, turning purple, and I am going to the doctor tomorrow. Everyone, fingers crossed that the season isn't over for this little peach! Srsly though, we all kicked ass last night. I have yet to review the game footage but if it's good I'll Youtube it.

Our next game is against the Shamrocks. You can start the jokes now...

Mad shout out to our cheering section and Brooklyn Boy for coaching, y'alls are the best.

Also: all the photos of us portray our shirts as a pleasant pale yellow, and they are actually a golden color. WTF gym lights?

Bridget said...

It's 11am here and my book just came into the library. By my calculations, I have three hours to read up to p160. I can totes do this. I will just have to use what I like to call my Harry Potter Speed Reading Skills.

(No longer prefixing my name with "Australian") Bridget

e. said...

First of all: excellent game, yay! I agree with your brother about throwing arms in people's grills, especially in light of said people throwing a basketball at Carly. (Also, don't know if this is a plus or a minus for you, but in fair warning: sometimes on the way to the grill, boobs get in the way. Just sayin'.) Way to not let the giant Scandinavian intimidate you. Also, crush the Shamrocks, yeah? Woo, go Peaches!

I like brooklynboy's advice, you should get him a team jacket personalized with embroidery.

Aside: Nice use of 'hinterlands', I love it, it seriously entertained me to no end.

Regarding O. Wao (oh, wow!), I think you're right about the context/Spanish, it's very slangy. I am looking forward to book club, my feelings about Wao are rather mixed right now. (Maybe I didn't get it well enough?)

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Semi - Celebrating after shots IS important ... as long as you pick your spots, ha. After hitting tying jumper at half, yes; after hitting a shot while being fouled, yes; after a random layup when the other team's already running past midcourt ... maybe not so much. ;) Yer a champ.

lew and e. - RE: Wao ... With zero Spanish in my background, I heeded advice I was given for writing journalism on deadline: Don't get hung up on one word or phrase; blow past it and come back later if you really need to. You'd be surprised at how often you don't.

nep - 2-1-2 is a good suggestion. I mentioned the 2-3 b/c that was their already-decided-upon MO. Though with the spacing issues, the 2-1-2 might be tricky til they play together more.

riese - Tighter than a 12 y/o works quite well. Was trying to avoid going there. Oh, playing venue bathrooms.

carly - I'd bet heavy on your season not being over. Remember RISE. Rest, Ice, S... omething and Elevation. Ice 20 mins on, 20 mins off for an hour if you have the time to lounge. Hope it's nothing too bad.

PS Glad to be of (wrangled into) service, and yeah, gym lights = wack. Also, gym AC = non-existent. Good golly it was hot in there.

e. - Ha. I would totally wear that at future games in order to spare everyone the nipplage in the next round of photos.