Monday, December 10, 2007

Sunday Top Ten: The Most Hollalicious Entertainments of 2007

As you probs know, I'm a highly esteemed list-writer, thus your weekly "Sunday" Top Ten and, subsequently, my LA-LA-LA-LOVE for the month of December a.k.a. International List-Writing Month. Every December, writers turn their misty eyes away from the present and towards the immediate past, eager to Review the Year, rank and file passing events and assess the bestiness of various entertainments. For example: The Top 25 Entertainers of the Year (Entertainment Weekly), The Year in Ideas (New York Times Magazine), Best Magazine Covers of 2007 (ASME), The 10 Best Books of the Year (NY Times Sunday Book Review), Best Products of the Year (Stereofile), Best Book Covers of the Year (The Book Design Review), 100 Best Films of the Year (London Times), Best Reviewed Albums of the Year (Metacritic), Best Books of the Year (Publishers Weekly), Voice Writers Pick Their 20 Favorite Books of the Year (The Village Voice), Highlights of 2007: Design (frieze), Music Bloggers Best of 2007 (stereogum), Year in Review: Hookups&Breakups, Video, Year in Photos, In Memoriam, Gossip, Etc. (MSN), The ADD Year in Review in Comics (Comic Book Galaxy), The Year in Art (ArtForum), Best Films & Best Games & Best Music & Best Books (PASTE Magazine), Top DVD Box Sets of 2007 (The New Yorker), The Ten Best Dressed of 2007 (People), The 2007 Esquire 100 (Esquire), Top 25 Censored News Stories of 2007 (project censored) and The Year's Most Notable Renegades (Radar). See, I love lists. December is to Riese what um, October is to people who like baseball (right?), or um, July for people who love the sweltering heat.

I think someone is grilling cheeseburgers outside my window. Apparently I live next door to a former methadone clinic (How do I know these things? Well, 2007 has been a very educational year, perhaps I'll be Reviewing it soon!), maybe they have cookouts now instead of methadone, 'cause I feel like it often smells like cheeseburgers around here. Good cheeseburgers though, not like, crap ones. Maybe only Sundays, maybe it's got something to do with Church and therefore with Jesus, I should join the Church. I just need a colorful hat like the black ladies wear.

So anyhow, today's Sunday Top Ten begins my long look back at '07, otherwise known as "The Worst Year EVER," which means looking back is a lot like poking a spork into my eyeballs. JK, obvs I love re-living trauma, it's my hobby basically. I'm not even kidding, CLEARLY IT IS, hello, I have a blog. Anyhow, it wasn't the worst year ever, I've grown and changed so much this year, I love everyone and everything. There are so many more of you than there were then: this can not be dismissed, this is not everything but it is a lot of things.

So, December is a time for you to ask: Riese, what's on YOUR mind? What are YOU thinking? Let's talk about YOU. You know? Except I'm saying it to myself so it's like: meememememememe. That's the secret code word I use to let you know that I'm aware I talk about myself all the time. Like, I've already talked about myself once, so why don't I talk about myself talking about myself, that's like, post-hipster-blogstar-metatastic.

Last year I did this: The Top 10 Best of 2006 (general), Top 10 Best Quotes of 2006, The Out-Loud Spoken Kind, Top 10 Best Quotes of 2006: Some Highlights from the Written Quotes, and the Top 10 Best Books of 2006: Some of Which I Have Actually Read.

Let's address that last one right now. I said it then, and I'll say it again because I want to: I read a lot, but hardcovers are expensive and heavy, therefore I rarely read them and thus rarely have an opinion on the Best Books of the Year though people expect me to. I never read new releases. If I'm gonna read a new book, it's gotta be either in first-edition paperback or acquired for free (publisher's proofs, etc.) or at a used bookstore. Therefore I'm remarkably unqualified to rank and order books. Like; last year my list included two books I'd actually read, the rest just looked good.

So I thought, well, I'll just expand the category to include all forms of entertainment released this year (except music, I'll leave that to the experts, besides, y'all know it's Tegan & Sara, obvs. And Uh Huh Her), unfortunately, I haven't been to a single movie in all of 2007 and I rarely watch teevee. Seriously, every time I watch teevee, I write about it. It's a 1:1 ratio. If I've watched a show, you've been the first to know.

It's been pointed out to me that my life this year has been a bit cinematic. I mean, who needs movies or a hardcover when you've got your own live-action film playing out right before your eyes? That's right: you don't. So I present what was supposed to be the Top Ten Entertainments of 2007 and ended up being a list of pretty much every single item of actual "entertainment" I've engaged in all year.

DUE TO MY BARELY PARTIAL PARTICIPATION
IN THE NEW RELEASES OF THE YEAR OF 2007,

I PRESENT
THE ONLY 10 ENTERTAINMENTS OF 2007
WHICH WERE ALSO PUBLISHED/RELEASED IN 2007

Magazines:
10.The Atlantic Monthly's 150th Anniversary Issue: Not only did this inspire me to give up multitasking for about a minute -- seriously, multitasking as I speak -- but its little blurbs about "The American Idea" warmed me all the way through my thick skin and straight to my gut. I transcribed my favorite in Auto-Universe.

9. Almost every single issue of New York Magazine, Esquire, Radar, Bust, Bitch, Women's Health & Fitness, Missbehave, Nylon, Good, The Advocate, Paper, Elle, Curve, Teen Vogue HOLLA, Poets & Writers, Jane (til it went under) and Glamour. Also obvs there was this really good article in the August issue of Marie Claire written by MEEEEE about my sweating disorder. Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I buy that magazine every month.

8. Hey! Speaking of magazines. A;ex and I went to the GO-NYC Magazine 5th Anniversary Party (their photos here), which was essentially a series of lines: to get in, to check your coat, to get a drink, to get another drink, to get another drink (eventually obvs just got a double), to get your coat back (that was the worst line of all the lines). The Lesbian to Bartender ratio was about 500:1. I told Stef it was a good thing she didn't go, as her rockstar-event-coordination experience would've likely led to a head explosion at this particular party, and she noted that "lesbians can't organize themselves a glass of WATER," quickly followed by "i just wanted an excuse to use that expression."
Anyhow, I still heart Leisha Hailey even though I didn't get a chance to tell her I'm sorry about Dana. Dani looks exactly in person how she does on teevee except more endearing. I feel like she's single and the world is her lesbian oyster, go get her ladies. Everyone, including us miraculously (see line-waiting paragraph, above), was drunkity drunk drunk or tripping on something, esp. Guinevere Turner. Rose Troche and Guinevere reminded me of how Haviland and I are gonna be in ten years. I'll be the one telling a drunk story about getting dumped for Leisha Hailey, and Haviland'll be going "Riese, Riese," like trying to make me shut up 'cause we're in public and I'll be quoted. Also, there's something strangely sexy about Rose Troche, I can't put my finger on it (or CAN I?), I think it's 'cause she's so talented and prolific. They said they're talking about a sequel to Go Fish, that more or less sounds like the worst movie ever. They should call it Go Fish 2: Back in Group Therapy. Maybe they were just kidding. I couldn't tell. You know how women are.

You guys, also, Dani is defo not currently involved with Tila Tequila. Howevs, I still think she might win on Tuesday. I still heart everyone and we had a good time. Goooooo GO! Oh also, "It's a Small World" Story Number 500; A;ex ran into some friends of hers who were there with their friend who is a commenter on my blog/now person-I-know-through-my-blog. Crazy, yeah? We all hung out, go GO! Oh, I said that already. Moving on.
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Movies:
7. Wanna know something brill? I figured I could think of a good DVD at least, something I got on demand ... but 2007 was Totes THE YEAR OF NO MOVIES ANYWHERE -- no movies in the theater, and no movies at home either! I have no clue how this happened, I probs have watched an average of 50-100 movies a year in every single year but this one. I used to watch at least a movie a day. Seriously. I guess I was sort of living my own version of Girl, Interrupted/A Beautiful Mind/Man of La Mancha for a good chunk of the summer, so whatevs. Fuck! What a weird-ass year, seriously, the only narrative films I saw this year were Art School Confidential ('cause Shane was in it) and this 9-11 movie that was on teevee when I was sick with food poisoning. I did watch a few docs: An Inconvenient Truth, Jesus Camp, The Devil's Playground, Gay Republicans, This Film is Not Yet Rated, When the Levees Broke.

Sicko looked good, I'd recommend it, I should see it. Thanks for the recommendation, Riese. Um, what movies came out this year? That movie about the girl from Grey's Anatomy getting preggers? Any gay movies? Are you my mother? Where's your head at? I wonder what it's like in there, that big cavernous theater. Movie magic. Hoo-ha. If you're just turning in, here's an update: the last movie I saw was Dreamgirls, it was the best movie ever so I knew I never had to go back to the movies again.

Theater:
7a. HOWEVER I've been to the theater, more than once even! I saw Spring Awakening (twice)! And Les Miserobvs ('cause Hav was doing Fantine)! Also Heather conned me into Naked Boys Singing!, which made Natalie and Annie and me drink heavily and giggle uncontrollably. The same thing happened at Les Mis actually. I saw some bad plays too. Won't go into that.

That photo is Haviland in her Factory Girl costume. Hard core, totes.

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The World Wide Webbernet:
6. Regularly Updated (at least 2-3 times/week most of the year) Blogs That Made me LOL consistently: Why Don't We Get Drunk and Blog? and FourFour
It's rare that writing (aside from my friends' emails) makes me literally LOL. Like every time it happens I note it to myself: "Riese, you just LOL'ed!" So yeah, one gay and one straight man inspired me to think, over and over again, consistently, all year long with triweekly posts are more and think "holy shit, that is hilarious, and I never would've thought of that": Lozo and FourFour. And for that I am grateful. Mazel Tov. (Sidenote: Totes aware there's plenty of funny blogs I'd probs LMAO or even ROFL to, but I've only got so much time, already maxed out, thus the short number on this list. Sometimes I'm scared like I can't find another good blog, I've got so much reading to do already!)

5. The following websites have endeared themselves to me over the course of this year, in which I became 75% human, 25% cyborg: Arts & Letters Daily, bartleby, Google Reader OBVS, facebook, poets.org, new pages, bookslut, mediabistro, feministing, and the endlessly fascinating Sitemeter. All the items I've ever tried to make you read on Google Reader are here: My Shared Items Blog. Then also there's the Auto-Universe Archive of all the things I've tried to force you to read via link. I think I spend way more time reading stuff on the internet than I realised until just this moment. I guess it's that there's still so much left I haven't read. It never ends, like, your perfect blog could be out there still.

Google Reader offers trends. They've just offered me supreme wisdom, and this is it: I'm apparently super-good at reading my friends' blogs, and I read way more blogs on Tuesdays and Fridays than any other day of the week.
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TeeVee:
4. Sugar Rush: It took me about four months to take up the suggestion that I watch Sugar Rush, and I've still only seen about half the episodes, and by "episodes" I mean the lesbian storyline, perfectly edited for my viewing pleasure by this girl on YouTube who's account is now suspended, dammit. At this pace, I'll be checking out Quarterlife by March '08, never fear Elizabeth. Watch Sugar Rush (WARNING: that link goes to a later episode, I just can't find any links now that the girl's lost her account, but that'll give you an idea I guess), you just may want to pinch Kim's cute little cheeks. She's a total critter. And it doesn't take itself too seriously, I think. Plus, Sugar goes to prison, because apparently that's what women do in the UK, maybe it is illegal to be a lesbian there.

3. The L Word obvs! Best show ever, clearly. So dynamic, so well-written. The characters just crawl inside you and take up residence. No honestly; I think the online community's enhanced this show, for me and for everyone, and it has its moments, like the basketball scene and the episode where everyone fucked. I've never watched it alone since Season One, and I don't think I ever could: to me, it's inherently part of a larger narrative, the one about the way we actually live, which apparently, for me at least, involves meticulously tracking sexual encounters and making fun of deaf people. Also, South of Nowhere, great show. Spencer: such a critter.

2. Like With Most Entertainments, I do 95% of my teevee watching at the gym, where the best channels are MTV and Bravo, then there's basic network channels ... which means I see a lot of America's Next Top Model, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, and The View before Rosie quit. At home, I've also enjoyed, from time to time, The Office, Degrassi: The Next Generation and the best show ever A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila. Actually, even Tila I've watched all of at the gym in re-runs the next day. Oh! And Carly lent me the entire series of Arrested Development on DVD, which is funny, two thumbs up. 2007 is almost over and I'm nearly done with Season Three.

I watched Gossip Girl with semi-obsessive interest until they introduced "Vanessa." I accepted many things about this show that bore no resemblance to the books I so dearly loved, but Vanessa was supposed to be a quasi-lesbian with Doc Martens and a shaved head. WTF?! This new Vanessa looks like a Saved by the Bell extra from 1992, and has none of the original Vanessa's quirkiness or overall cool. The real Vanessa is like the girl who dated Macauly Culkin in Saved! Sigh.
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Books:
1. OK, so, Books I Did Read This Year, In Chronological Order: The Revolution Will Be Accessorized: BlackBook Presents Dispatches from the New Counterculture (various), 20Something Essays by Twentysomething Writers (various), The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold), Everything Else in the World (Stephen Dunn), Bitchfest (various), Name All The Animals (Ali Smith), Area Code 212 (Tama Janowitz), Indestructible (Cristy Road), The Book of Genesis, Exodus, John, Daniel, Revelations (by G-d or his minions or whatevs), Girlbomb (Janice Earlbaum), The Mistresses' Daughter (A.M. Homes), The Glass Castle (Jeanette Walls), The Collected Poems of Rilke (Rilke, obvs), Naked on the Internet (Audacia Ray), The Bigger The Better the Tighter the Sweater (ed. by Samantha Schoech & Lisa Taggart), So Much to Tell You (John Marsden), Nobody Belongs Here More Than You (Miranda July), Lucky (Alice Sebold), The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath), I Love You More Than You Know (Jonathan Ames), Microthrills (Wendy Spiro), The Whole Story and Other Stories (Ali Smith), Enormous Changes at the Last Minute, (Grace Paley), Running With Scissors (Augusten Burroughs), Come to Me (Amy Bloom) and will probs finish The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Short Stories (ed. by Tobias Wolff) by the end of the year.

And also, formidable efforts were made into the following: Don Quijote (Miguel De Cervantes) (222/773), The Art of Love (Ovid) (117/206), Empire of the Senseless (Kathy Acker, library has it now) and 1984 (about 75%).

In that photo, I'm saying: "Reading is fun, y'all!"

Of those, the only ones that were released this year are the book I was in and the book I spoke on a panel about. I have come to the conclusion that the internet has provided me with the illusion that I'm fairly caught up on the happenings of the year when in fact the only thing I'm actually caught up on is what people talk about on the internet. I'm skipping life and going straight to commentary on it. This year has been hands down totes the weirdest thing ever. I can barely even believe it, and I've seen some shit.

Do you guys read books? I think most of you do. But I'm not sure, maybe when I talk about books, y'all are like snoooozeeee when's she gonna talk about Haviland naked again? Here, I'm going to find out, please take this poll, thank you:
PollPub.com VoteDo You Read Books?
Yes No Just For School

View Results

Poll powered by PollPub.com Free Polls











I hope you like books. I'm writing a book, seriously. That's become my running gag, like the chicken dance on Arrested Development, except unlike G.O.B., I can actually write a book. I just like, haven't put it all together yet. But I totally could. And like, will. If you wanna know what books I think you should read, you can go to my a-store. There, no excuses! Also Lozo, still want you to read that Jonathan Ames book, I hope you got it. Hm. Guess what? I just burned a hole in my dresser. But I put out the fire, don't worry. Remember that saying "love is friendship set on fire" or something? I always thought that was sort of stupid. It seems like, whatever you want to feel, someone's got a quote to validate you. A proverb, or something. Anyone know how dpis and ppis work? Like, if a magazine wanted a 300 dpi photo from me, do they really mean ppi? I need to figure this out.

34 comments:

Jo said...

Shit, Dani is so fucking adorable.

Oo Lynnie oO said...

now that the semester is over, I'll have slightly more room in my brain for books...so to your list i shall go, you have my confidence!

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila was clearly the best thing about 2007. hands down. Hey girl hey.

stef said...

i want to go on record stating that i completely hated sugar rush after the first season.. it's like they brought in an entirely new crew of writers who had never seen the original show, and all they had to go on was this one nouvelle vague album that was sitting all alone on the conference room table. it made me really sad. also, you met me this year, that is number one on some list somewhere.

also, one of my best friends is the person who made kathy griffin's assistant a temporary lesbian. it's a good story, i will tell it to you sometime. she made it into k-g's act apparently. i don't know, you mentioned my life on the d list, and jessica is on that show. whatever.

this comment (which is mostly about lesbians) is really random and scattered and has no purpose. it's not my best work. if you need me, i am going to go organise myself a glass of water, or perhaps some grape juice.

a;ex said...

Rose Troche. Really Riese?
How about the first emcee-girl-person talking about exploding vadges? So hot.

I'd really like a glass of water right now, but I don't think I can handle it...

Crystal said...

I barely recognised anything mentioned on this list, sometimes I feel like I live in a cave. Except So Much To Tell You, knew that one. You should read his other books in 2008. I can suggest about six of them, off the top of my head.

LMC said...

I read books! A lot of the time it seems like I don't do anything else...

My best book published in 2007 was hands down totes A Concise Chinese English Dictionary For Lovers by Xiaolu Guo. It was amazing. It has a lot of insights about language, culture, life, etc. and the way it's written (the narrator starts out knowing very little English and as the book goes on gets stronger and stronger) is really different and interesting. You should put it on your reading list.

Speaking of reading lists, I just finished reading Veronica by Mary Gaitskill after you quoted it on Auto Fun and I absolutely loved it. Thank you!

Lozo said...

i think i'm going to spell vag as vadge from now on. thanks, semi.

anyway, no, i haven't gotten that book yet. slipped my mind. i was in a bookstore last week, and it didn't occur to me. sorry. at least i'm not as judgemental with you about not seeing a single movie this year.

that'd be a great tv show. Judge Mental. it would be like judge judy, only the judge on Judge Mental would decree crazy things, like ruling the defendant was guilty and had to paint her toenails as punishment.

i miss being able to watch the chicken dances on youtube when i pleased. portia's was always my favorite. "chee chaw, chee chaw."

hmmm, what else? i'm trying to make this comment as good as possible so the sex gets better. hmmmm, what cute, clever, pithy thing can i add here?

damn. i have nothing. i'm glad you like my blog. i like your blog too. i mean LIKE IT LIKE IT. i'd totally do it. i think it's the yellow background, because as you know, i love asians.

it's the jeans said...

your first line reminds me so much of alice's "i don't know if you know this, but I write a lot of best of pieces."

aw you are both adorable

-jordan.

it's the jeans said...

also, i have to tell you that i looked to you about a month ago when i was on a mini book buying spree. thank you for pseudo recommending Lorrie Moore...reading Like Life [also picked up Self Help and Birds of America] and AM Homes [halfway through with This Book Will Save Your Life [because it was the only one that the Barnes and Nobles I work at had in stock...] suggestions? which is your favorite... no no no most influential life alter AM Homes book? :-)

I too often feel like there is just so much too read. It's more than these two eyes could ever hope to handle. I feel the same way about good music. Too much for me. I guess that's a good thing though.

-Jorda

Peach said...

I loved it when you said in a previous post that you felt down, "not in a bell jar way", I doubt a lot of my friends would have got that, only the best coolest and most well read...

kazzie said...

i looove reading. i don't think there has been a day this year where i haven't picked up book at some point and read. i take a book with me everywhere, just like rory gilmore.

another thing i love is the linkage that you provide. i'm too lazy to find things to read on the internet, so thanks to you, i don't have to bother looking!

Irish and Jew said...

Just starting to get into Uh Huh Her but I feel like my heart still belongs to The Murmurs.

Do you remember when Leisha was on Boy Meets World!?! Ha.

~Irish

Allie said...

"G-d or his minions." Still giggling to myself over that.

Also, Leisha was on Boy Meets World? I think I need to see that. The first time my gf and I had sex, it was after a Harry Potter movie had aired, and Boy Meets World was on. We both paid more attention to it than either of us would probably ever admit to the other. It's a bad habit. Listening to tv during sex, not not admitting things to each other.

My word verif is tvoimy. I don't even think I need to make up a way that it applies to this blog.

riese said...

jo: I know,right?
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Ooo Lynnie OOO OOO Lynnie OOO Hey Girl Hey it's like sayings that are anagrams.
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stef: Yes, speaking of namedropping, we met KG and Jessica on the cruise. I didn't know Jessica was only a temporary lesbian. I think watching the seasons in weird segments can be a bit disorienting. How did you see the first season? Is it on DVD? What have I missed? That's how they wrote The L Word for reals.
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a;ex: Really semicolon, really! I know. It's weird! You know what's funny? I can't organise myself a glass of water, as you know. I just realised this.
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crystal: You may be the only person on this comment board who actually can say they did spent a night in a cave fo'reals in 2007, oddly enough. Obvs So Much To Tell You = from you.
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lmc: I LOVE Mary Gaitskill, her and Lorrie moore are right up there together in the Ladies Who Rock My World category. I will put that book you mentioned on my list. I'm happy any time I rec (sorta) MG and people like her, because most people either love her right off or just cant' get into it. I love it better when people love her right off.

Wow! you're the most prolific reader ever. I got The Know-it-All for my brother.

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lozo: How could it slip your mind? If you saw a movie you thought I might like, I'd take that recommendation. In 2008. I think Judge Mental would be a great show for ppl trying to find out if their loved ones were insane. Like, they could present a list of symptoms and the judge would say "sane, just an asshole" or "insane, (diagnosis)' and then you could figure out where to go from here.
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jordan: Lorrie Moore is the bestest of all time. Someone told me I write like her, and then I picked her up and thought, that's true, I kinda do, but she's better, obvs, she's just everything. I just love her. I've heard mixed reviews about This Book Will Save Your Life ... I feel AM Homes' true forte is short stories. I'd recommend "The Safety of Objects" and "Things You Should Know." I feel there's too many books to read too, but I worry there isn't enough good music.
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peach: Only the coolest, that's for sure.
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kazzie: The first post I ever read of Lozo's was about Rory GIlmore. See that? See what I did there? I brought it back around. I like guiding people to highlights of the internets, it makes me feel like Moses of the internet, or the Pied Piper.
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Irish and Jew: I do not, so you must tell me everything about this alleged guest appearance. Sounds magical in that perfect world colliding way, like Juliana Hatfield being on My So Called Life.
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allie: The first time I gave a blow job, pop-up video was on. It was disarming. You know that show? How it's like pop-pop-pop- bubble-bubble-bubble. OMG. This is making my stomach hurt just to think about it. Oh ew.

cait said...

my friend who went to uhh, referenced the fact that some woman kept saying that everyone's vadge was going to explode and she said it made her think of me. that was upsetting. i am not going to talk about anything exploding from here out.

i don't really know what this is all about, i got confused at about #6, but you could probs write about anything and i'd read it. excellent use of critter grasshopper.

Ms. Jackson said...

I was never really much of a reader. But now that I have a long commute to work, I have oodles of time to read and I do enjoy it. Right now I'm reading 'The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing' by Melissa Bank and it is wonderful.

I take a train by the way. Don't want you to think that I read while driving. That would be dangerous.

Razia said...

You haven't really missed much in terms of movies this year. Although Knocked Up is pretty damn funny. Also, yes I do read, thanks to you. I kind of feel like those "hooked on phonics" kids who are all like "thanks to phonics I love to read!!!". Thanks Riese!

LMC said...

Yeah, I LOVE Mary Gaitskill so far. Also, MG--- she totes has the same real life initials as me! Which means, inevitably, when I become a Famous Author, we will be shelfed somewhat near each other at adorable little book stores with bean bag chairs in their corners. I've never seen a book store with a bean bag chair in it, but I like to believe that they exist somewhere.

The Know-It-All was okay. Lots of interesting stuff but I didn't retain much of it. The author came across as kind of a douche. I didn't keep the book, gave it away on Bookmooch, which is the best site ever. That's where I get most of my new releases/hardcovers from, there or if my library happens to tap in on the pulse of the times for once and pick them up.

I've never read anything by Lorrie Moore yet, but I do have a copy of Birds of America that I picked up at the library bag sale, so I will def add it to my to be read list.

Oh, and you should give Gossip Girl another chance! Vanessa's kinda faded away, and supposedly Blair and Serena are gonna kiss soon!

Lozo said...

hey, i'm a label. i haven't gotten one of those in a while. i knew you enjoyed that counter-clockwise swirl.

the following is a list of movies, released in 2007 or otherwise, that you must watch:

Superbad
Major League
The Legend of 1900
Blood Diamond
Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead
Judge Mental: The Movie

riese said...

cait: I think that could be the percocet getting lost by number 6. Also, if your head explodes, I don't want you to feel like you can't confide in me.

ms.jackson: I read that! It was a delight, I remember there was a cute line about Oberlin that reminded me of SLC. I do read while driving. It is dangerous, but traffic jams make my badge explode.

razia: My goal in life is to be as influencial, if not moreso, than the hooked on phonics people.

LMC: I think that means I'm going to be shelved next to um, Major League Baseball. I dunno. Who has my initials? No one. Someone does. mark Brown. mary Brown. someone burrows, brown, um, burgess, bishop, uhmm. I feel like Blair and Serena aren't going to kiss. I think it's hype. If they do howevs, obvs I will watch.

lozo: I've already seen Major League, obvs. Who do you think I am? I mean ... was ... in the 90's? Superbad I kinda wanted to see, I can do that. I like the last one, it sounds better than Judge Dread which I also didn't see. OMG, the rest sound like treachory. I do so much for this relationship, I deserve a backrub.

Ms. Jackson said...

Funny that you mention SLC. My friend that recommended that book went there.
Traffic jams do not have the same effect on my vadge. High speed car chases on the other hand...
And I think that 'Hollalicious' might be one of my top ten favorite words.

Laia said...

i just want to let you know i really liked this post. you're becoming funnier and funnier. thank you!

ps. i don't get it, who is Dani? (Leisha?)

cait said...

still I'm unsure as to what this is about, but I love the auto-fun of the day, the way portia says michael is serious for me. also there was something else, but now I've forgotten, oh yes, you look like a xmas tree in ur facebook pic... Too much typing to tell you there, holla!

Lozo said...

you know the arrangement we have. backrubs for frontrubs. call me!

Haviland Stillwell said...

I used to have a crush on Guin Turner. We will so not be like that in 10 yrs, dude. :)

it's the jeans said...

so i must have been reading this last night shortly before i fell asleep because i totally had a dream that i was Guinevere Turner and was married to Rose Troche with 3 kids. Thanks for that, btw.

Also, movies of 2007: Has anyone seen Juno yet? I thought it looked worth the $45 is costs to actually go to the movies [Is this just a Chicago thing? Seriously, last time I took someone on a movie date it cost nearly $45 and I am hardly exaggerating!]

Has anyone watched the new Rose Rollins video on OurChart? She's a little bit adorable, in that "let's play football and then maybe make out a lot" kind of way." No?

-Jordan
it's the jeans

Daria said...

PPI refers to the size of the image, as DPI refers to how well the printer will print it (quality wise).
I can't believe you hang out with A;ex and don't know this...

shame.

-D

riese said...

Ms. Jackson: top ten favorite words, might use that some day.

Laia: Dani! Dani is the girl on "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila' this new terrible reality show that is probably the first knight of the apocalypse.

cait: This post is about christmas trees and hoodies and critters.

Lozo: I love you more than you know.

Haviland: Don't lie, you will totes have a crush on me in 10 years.

it's the jeans: I don't even know what Juno is. I have no idea what it costs to go to the movies, probs $100 or two chicks at once. I think Rose Rollins is always adorable and I'd watch that video if I wasn't afraid of OurChart.

Daria: Alex never talks to me about dpis. She's too busy talking about where we're going to score our next hit of smack.

AK said...

My narcoleptic computer finally gave up the ghost which is why I haven't commented in forever. While it was hanging on by a thread, I was using it to sell stuff (because that's what you do when times are slow). Also I couldn't keep up with the blogs because my headphone jack didn't work either and speakers are pretty useless, but when I was at a friends begging for time online I saw your response to the L-word teaser and that was a gem and so is Haviland, naked or not. The naked force of her starpower is sorely in need of a vehicle. I know, I know you're trying to provide one.

Now I'm at my mother's trying to catch up with my online life until the arrival of my next computer (which the freakin' ebayer didn't ship until 16 days after I bought-it-now in a frantic impulse to get it yesterday). Not having a working computer has given me a chance to examine how crazed is my addiction to this content providing social club. It's almost as demented as my addiction to the L Word. The two are connected I'm sure.

I am not at all surprised that 98% of your readers read books. This is a very erudite crowd. And we still watch bad teevee. Thus are brilliant minds so easily subdued. Writing books, however, is a potent antidote to both reading and bad teevee. Being in the act of writing a book can redeem one's sins for the better part of a life.

Fragolina said...

I have this horrible habit of starting books and never finishing them. But, of the books I actually managed to finish this year, I really loved The Master by Colm Toibin (spelling?), Free Culture by Lawrence Lessig, Radio On by Sarah Vowell, and Out of the Girls' Room and Into The Night by Thisbe Nissen. (I think I actually heard about that one here -- thanks!) And right now I"m halfway through The Metaphysical Club by Louis Menand, which is an awesome book if you're a history nerd like me.

The only "new" book I read this year was Marisha Pessl's Special Topics in Calamity Physics, and I kinda hated it.

Oh, and for any Kathy Griffin fans, I recommend Screening Party by her main gay Dennis Hensley. It's hilarious.

Fragolina said...

Sorry, I just realized Special Topics in Calamity Physics came out in 2006. So I read nothing that came out this year. Sigh.

riese said...

AK: You have returned just in time for the Season Five L Word premiere, thank G-ddess. I mean, fo'reals. As an experienced ebayer, I can say that what the ebayer is doing to you is nothing short of criminal, I'd never deprive someone of their Free City hoodie for that long, let alone a computer Although your comments often come in a day or two after the thread has died down, their complete absence has been alarming to say the least. This is the best addiction ever.

Wanna know a secret? 99% of my readers read books. I voted "no" for myself just to make sure that if anyone wanted to, they wouldn't feel alone. That's exactly the kind of weirdo I am. As for the rest, you have been quoted in my next post, obvs.

Fragolina: I think many of us have this habit. The best though is when I finish something I like, and then I am like "what now?" and I pick up something I never finished and decide to finish it, and it goes by real fast. That's what happened with the Grace Paley short stories book I finished this year. Easy breezy.

I la-la-la-love "Out of the Girls Room" so you probs did hear about it here -- I wrote a review about her for my college paper once, I am sure 0 people read it, I like blogs so much better than college papers.

A lot of ppl reccomended "special topics .." to me and it graced many a best-of list last year, but about 3-4 people told me it was terrible and they hated it. Now that's 4-5, I'm not reading it.

Huh? said...

Wait, where did the '07 recap go? I could swear I saw it last night, but I was too tired to read all of it. Was I dreaming???

it's the jeans said...

where did your other post go?