Saturday, December 06, 2008

Milk. About What. Hot Bloggers. Diaryland. Fear. Hope. Love. Justice. Peace. Heartcore.

i. Annnouncements.
Firstly -- all my feelings about the DOJ in a new autostraddle: She's Done it Again, She's Managed It, Like the Cat, The L Word has Nine Times to Die. Secondly, I got my Hot Blogger Calendar in the mail and it's AWESOME, for reals, and I'm Miss October. If you don't buy one (a bargain at $12, and $2 goes to the autowin fund), you'll probs never know what day it is and then you'll be late for work. If you still have a job.

ii. I gave up my neck for Harvey Milk, and I liked it
We saw MILK last night, you should too. Look at me, I've already seen three movies this year, I've come a long way since 2007, The Year of No Movies (which you may recall was foiled by my evil mother and brother who forced me to see Juno with them, which I could've easily seen in January, but noooo whatevs Marie's Arbitrary Rules for Yourself, this is family time bladiblabla), this year I've already seen Sex and the City: The Movie, Rachel Getting Married and MILK! That's three whole movies!

Despite being on time with tickets in-hand, we were at the back of the line filing in (oh, the Urban gays!), and the only seats left together were front-row seats. I've seen A LOT of movies from the front row since moving here. SATC, Short Bus, The DaVinci Code (not my idea obvs blame Haviland). It's intense up there. Every pore in high-definition.

MILK was, as expected, triumphant and inspiring, depsite the sad ending. It's remarkable, really, the legacy of hatred and fear that plagues the history of humankind absolutely everywhere. I wonder if we're becoming better people, worldwide, or if it's just the same cycle over and over, with bigotry and evil popping up in different contexts in different countries but still, population-wise ... oh, I dunno. I wish this had come out in August, maybe it could've helped us avoid the Same-Sex Setback.

Also! Big man crushes happening right now:

Emile Hirsch as Cleve Jones

James Franco as Scott Smith
++
iii. What is this blog about, anyway?

I'm trying to write an "about me" page. All the other bloggers have 'em, and it's the first place I look when I hit a new spot, and I want to make my blog as new-user-friendly as I possibly can. Howevs, I'm a little stuck. Wtf is my blog about? I mean -- clearly it's about memememememe -- but what else? If you have any thoughts on this topic, please do let me know, I need an objective opinion.

iv. Working On

I'm working on the Top Ten Weirdos of 2008 and a new Stuff I've Been Reading. Just you know, FYI. I've read a lot of stuff!
v. Diaryland
In 2002, my friend Jake told me that Diaryland (the original online journaling site, which didn't offer the interactivity of later applications like livejournal, blogger and wordpress, and therefore remains kind of quaint and perfect) had erased all its inactive journals, e.g., mine. I checked -- indeed, they had. I'd printed out my first two months of diarylanding but the rest was lost.

Sometimes these things happen and I tell myself it's probs better that way, 'cause I need to learn to part with written words. Moving from idea to idea with the baggage of thousands upon thousands of already-written and well-archived words is daunting/haunting. Every blank page is crowded by the feeling I've said this before, already, and the possibility of proof just amps up that suspicion.

Then Krista will point out I've used the phrase "shoulderblades like angel wings" in ten different short stories and I'll realize, yes, my capacity for metaphor is ridiculously finite, I should probs get into Plastics or Nursing.

Anyhow! Last week I learned you can ask Diaryland to recover your diary! So I did, and they did, and it's really interesting to memememe, 'cause though I've got my whole life in journals, I didn't journal much this particular year. When I did, it was mostly about my body and the pain, 'cause that was the year I was first diagnosed with fibro. I don't remember much from this year. It's in my brain like a long dull dorm hallway. It was a strange year. Maybe because it was the most benign year I've ever had.

January 20th, 2001.

I am ruled by fear. In order to deal with these fears, I will list them here:

Fear of never having a boyfriend, fear of the telephone, fear of gaining weight, fear of losing friends across the country, fear of losing my journal, fear of my room catching on fire, fear of complete loneliness, fear of people finding out i'm a bad person, fear of anyone dying (especially if we're on bad terms), fear of being called ugly, fear of Ryan cutting me out of his life, fear of finding out i'm a terrible writer, fear of disability/physical impairment, fear of permanent depression, fear of never seeing my father again, fear of most social situations like parties, really strange crippling fear that when i ask for a "non fat cappuchino" they will accidentally put in whole milk instead of skim, fear of avoiding phone calls/applications/job searches enough that i never do what i want to do, fear of not having money to do anything, fear of being called out for everything i am afraid of.

23 comments:

Al said...

Ooh, I want to see Milk. I think I'll do that over winter break.
Hmmm... describing what your blog is about would be like trying to describe what a mall sells. The mall doesn't sell anything, the stores do. So your blog isn't about a general topic per se, but each post has something different. It's got a little bit of everything. So I'm at a loss.
It's always interesting to go back and read stuff I wrote a long time ago. That's why it takes me forever to clean my room because I'll find old journals and just spend hours reading them. It's a fault.

stef said...

you can also use the wayback machine on archive.org to look at anything you ever did on the internet. that is how i read my scribble and my old websites.

your blog is about tegan and sara, stephen dunn, duane reade, various roofs (rooves?) throughout history and tinkerbell. primarily tinkerbell. maybe tinkerbell should get an about me page instead.

eric mathew said...

James Franco was SO hot in the movie. It was kind of redic how hot he was.

I would write more, but I worry I may appear on the top 10 weirdos of '08. wah wah.

eric mathew said...

omg the preview for "a double shot at love" just came on. it looks awful. i'll probably still watch.

Anonymous said...

1. What happened to your format? It is very hard to read

2. love your blog.

3. I can;t wait to see milk. I am glad it was good.

4. After Ellen should hire you - they need a good bi writer on their

limes

Bren said...

We wanted to go see Milk today. As it turns out not a single movie theater in the county is playing this movie. 14 screens of Madagascar 2, but no Milk. I hate the south.

Also, my girlfriend told me that one of the girls from A Double Shot at Love was killed in a car accident shortly after she left the show and that they are dedicating the first episode to her. I hope this a rumor and NOT true. That is the worst way to honor someone's memory ever.

A. said...

So I just got back from a week long vacation in New York. It was all very exciting. Dead homeless guy wheeled out of Grand Central, asian guy hit by cab, Rockettes... you know the deal...

Anyway, as this blog promotes Pinkberry like crack, I gave it a shot. I wish I hadn't. You might have to start smuggling it into Canada.

Your blog is about girls, food, Jordan Catalano, thinking too much and dancing. Right?

-lower case a.

Vashti said...

I've been waiting forevs to see Milk but the closest theater showing it is in Portland. And well, that's two hours and $55 away. I don't understand, there are theaters back home in my little red county playing Milk, but not in super liberal Eugene where hippies and gays run rampant? Oh well. WHATEVER.

Every time you wrote Diaryland I read it as Dairyland. Aka this entire blogpost made me really thirsty.

I'm listening to Christmas music my mother sent me. Where's my eggnog?

Oo Lynnie oO said...

I'm def. tryin to see Milk over break.

I think A. has a pretty good call about what your blog is about. Also, weirdos.

But really this is YOUR blog, so it's okay for it to be about you. So what are you about?

Haviland Stillwell said...

I've been obsessed with Harvey Milk since I was about 16. An amazing man. Even though I knew the story and what the ending was, and had read the script and blah blah blah, I found it to be so moving, so well done in every way. This will probably win Best Picture. What timing for those PUSHING DAISIES boys!

I hope all of you get to see the film, as it is SO important. I was lucky enough to take gay and lesbian history in high school, so was taught about this man and the movement he lead. It should be taught in regular history class. What a man.

Thanks for writing about it, Riese.

LODL said...

Just curious. Have you ever seen a piece of cinema or a TV show that was about being gay or gay people that you DIDN'T like? I get the feeling that if it's gay, gay people automatically like it. I am basing this on months of reading status updates of gay Facebook friends, and really, that sort of research is foolproof.

Because be honest -- what other possible reason is there for liking Rosie O'Donnell? Did you talk about how awesome she was BEFORE she came out? I doubt it.

Also, I'll write your "about me" section tomorrow.

riese said...

Al: I know, I realize I missed out on the potential joy of taking my grandparents to see MIlk or something like that over winter break. I do that too with the cleaning rooms and the journals sigh.

I like being compared to the mall. I hope I have an Orange Julius!

stef: Wayback machine doesn't register my existence, for reals. you're 100% correct about tinkerbell. i mean really.

eric mathew: a double shot of love is going to be terrible I think, like the most terrible thing of all time. it's twins! bisexual incest something something.

anonymous: On my screen it looks good ... what's happening on yours?
I'm waiting for AfterEllen's call. It's okay, I'm good at waiting. I was once a waitress!

Bren: What you just said about a double shot of love I actually tried to fit into a tweet but i couldn't. anyhow, i don't even know what madagascar 2 is. is that a cartoon?

A.: I just had pinkberry today! It's too bad you missed the coffee flavor, which no one liked but me, because they replaced it just recently with pomograntae.

My blog is defo about Jordan Catalno. I actually honestly did have that topic on my list. Sigh. I saw him on the teevee today flipping through. Hope you had fun in the Big Apple!!!

Vashti: That is really really weird about Eugene, I'd totally think they would have it for sure. Maybe it just hasn't gotten there yet but it will. If I was thinking about Dairyland, I think I would think about ice cream, not being thirsty. or cheese. i love cheese too. i also love eggnog.

Ooo Lynnie oooO: I am going to say that it is about weirdos and I cater to the weirdo demographic. I don't know what I'm about. I guess I'm about reading and writing, arts&crafts, oh man. I don't know. I don't know what I'm about. I'm in trouble.

Haviland Stillwell: You're welcome, Haviland. I don't think he is tought in regular history classes, which is especially strange realizing what he'd done for the educational system w/r/t homosexuality legislation. I had no idea that was who he was going to get shot by at all. I really didn't, I was really surprised! probs will win best picture 'cause the gays run hollywood. oh i mean the jews. i dunno. yeah probs will.

LODL: Um, yes, almost every piece of cinema or gay TV show that I've seen I haven't liked. I hate the l word and south of nowhere, which you'd know if you read the recaps. The only lesbian movie I've really loved was But I'm a Cheerleader. I liked Gia, I don't know if that counts as a gay movie.

I've been a fan of Rosie O'Donnell since i was a little kid -- I even went to go see her in GREASE when it came to town -- I was maybe 8 or 9? -- and I remember getting so excited about being in the same room and breathing the same air as Rosie O'Donnell. I loved her show and watched it every day and her show was on before she came out and I had no idea she was gay at all. I loved her in A League of their Own and Sleepless in Seattle. I was a big, big, big fan. So yeah, then when she came out and later on I actually got to hang out with her I was like, this is so totally weird.

The only gay teevee show I've ever liked --- and tv shows with gay people in them (aka the view, when rosie was on it) don't count, just tv shows about being gay or gay people -- is Queer as Folk. Oh and there's this British show called Sugar Rush that I like a little bit. That's it though.

Boo-yah

Vashti said...

Well, I mean, milk is dairy [and often the first dairy product I think of]. See how that works? Also, I think eggnog counts as dairy.

I'm thirsty again.

But yeah, Milk will probs be here eventually. I'll end up watching it when I'm home next week though. Along with [maybe] Were the World Mine.

Anonymous said...

i want to see milk again to see if james franco looks less bulky from a few rows back. i kept thinking every time they mentioned proposition 6 that if it had come out earlier, people would have equated it with proposition 8. oh some day, some day. i think it's interesting that you can sum other people up so well, but struggle with doing it for yourself. actually, i feel like most people are the same way. i dunno.

Dave Lozo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LODL said...

oh, snap! pwned!

That's fair enough, but you're full of crap when you say you hate The L Word. No one recaps shows in insane detail like that without liking it a little. You saying you hate The L Word is the same as me saying I hate Entourage. We watch them for a reason, sweetie.

Also, what about all those other coming-of-age movies about lesbians you've talked about? There's that one in the boarding school, and the one that takes place in NYC where the bf is crazy, etc. I bet you like more movies about the gay than I like movies about the sport.

riese said...

vashti: I feel like you just brought it back around with two mentions of Milk ... didja notice that?

jersey: Yeah I feel like i have no perspective on myself, is the main problem. I wanna see it again so I don't have to cover my eyes during the sexy scenes because if it's not right in front of my face, it's less scary and intimidating. also the preview scared me like the tower of terror style.

LODL: I see what you're saying, but the point is that if you're talking about movies or shows I would endorse or give a good review to, I wouldn't endorse The L word. I have a love/hate relationship with it, but I don't think it's good.

The boarding school movie is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. It's called Lost & Delerious and it's terrible, terrible, terrible.

The one that takes place in NYC where the boyfriend is crazy? I dont know which one that is ...

Howevs, I do love a good sport movie. For example; White Men Can't Jump, Rudy, Hoop Dreams, He Got Game, The Hank Gathers Story, Field of Dreams, Jerry Maguire, School Ties, Varsity Blues, The Sandlot, Mighty Ducks, Hoosiers, Rocky, Bend it Like Beckham, etc.

I think the moral is it's easier to enjoy thngs you aren't emotionally invested n for other reasons. Like if you can call out the movie on being bullshit; you'll probs not like it very much.

Vashti said...

I def noticed it. That's why I got so thirsty. All this talk of Milk and Dairyland. Man oh man.

Al said...

You would be an incredibly lame mall if you didn't have an Orange Julius. That's just a given.

Bokolis said...

Errrrrr...doesn't what it reads up top cover what the blog is about?

As for the "about me," you once wrote to me that finding out was sort of the endgame.

By sheer coincidence, I recently read up on Milk...man had guts.

You are right about hate finding a different context.

autumn m said...

ok a few things. a) The new layout is hard to read. could just be me, but everything is all overlapping and such. b) it kind of makes me dizzy. And would someone please explain to me what Milk is. I have a feeling it isn’t just the dairy product that ya'll are talkin about. im scared and so confused....

eric mathew said...

see riese-y on my mac the layout is fine. i actually very much enjoy it. because it has the post in the middle and then your other stuff on both sides.

A. said...

New layout is working fine for me.

I'm really just back here because I stumbled on something ridiculous and kind of awesome, and figured, if there's any group that will appreciate it, it's this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkPh8As-y6E

- lower case a.