Thursday, December 11, 2008

Automatic Funday! 12.11.2008

Firstly, Mystery Auto- Store Special Surprise Ad Campaign #1: I present an animated gif[t] ... What is it? A bird? A plane? A stocking stuffer? Something fabulous? Something cheap, fast, and good? Something that might be available for sale in the Auto-Store next week? I dunno ...


The good thing about having a backlist of blog posts to write/make is that I'm not having to consciously brainstorm all the time. The downside is all these ideas in my head rubbing up against each other before I have time to get them out! My head is full, most of it is just packing peanuts, and I wish I could swap things out onto an external hard drive. I bet I could learn this at Welding School. I need to get serious about life right now you guys. I've been really into coloring lately. I colored a picture for Alexi's Vlog and then I just colored a picture to mail to Krista with The L Word. She gets a free DVD set for texting me to say her Shane dreams had returned "with a vengeance" and for listening to me cry a lot in 1998 and 2004.

Asher just invented and/or told me about this thing, it's called blogstar. She says: *apparently, a blogstar is made when two blogs i read completely separate from one another become united in the lovely little world of the interwebs." This happened today for her when she saw me on Achtung Baby!, a blog that I don't know how to describe, because the way it feels to me is like my oldest friend is sitting next to me in the park like "hey, read this," "hey, listen to this," and I'm like "ok," 'cause it's something I already know I'll like, or already do like, and if not, it's something I will like really soon. Or if I'm not at the park, he'll just like mail me a mix tape or whatever. That's what it's like for me. You know? Anyhow you should read it, or whatever it is you kids do these days.

I'm trying to think of any blogstar moments I've experienced with blogger co-breeding. Many claimed blogstarred when Lozo and I first appeared on one another's blogs.

Probs when I realized that Emily Gould was the girl that wrote heartbreak soup with her friend Ruth, but that's not a blogstar 'cause it's just realizing one person you know in two contexts is not two different contexted people but just one person. Do you follow? I certainly don't. Also, when I realized Amish in the City was written by my friend Amish from college, not some Amish guy. I guess I just described the same not blogstar-ish situation again. I'm gonna go back to watching Funny Face until I fall asleep. G-d, I'm so fucking cool.

Let's proceed. Spread your legs.
Quote: "I was writing in a spiral notebook, I thought, why can't I be famous right now. Why can't I just act that way. Why can't I record everything down like my life counts, like I'm the Queen of England or Bobby Vee, and that way I can be safe and not have to wait to die to be important. Why can't I live right now. Because I am not rich, I am not a saint. But I do know this; not all of us were sent here to work." (Eileen Myles, Cool for You)

1. Alex Beam calls out Lauren Slater who wrote our Book Club Book #2 Lying! Thank you for oversharing.(
2. I loathe this article -- Gender Bender: Should gender equality extend to drinking? on so many levels. Primarily, I have no idea why it had to be addressed as a men vs. women thing. Can women be analyzed as indpendent creatures -- if you're that insistent on making the distinction of two genders to begin with -- and not just compared to men as if whatever factoid you shared would make its own point? I think articles like this are a greater threat to feminism and my intestines than a vodka tonic. Interesting statistics do not a story make. They CAN, but you still need a story, and this writer doesn't have one, apparently. (@nyfuckingmagazine)
3. Luckily Tracie already wrote a kick-as rebuttal. (@one d at a time)
4. I wish I'd been the first one to think of this joke, it's a perfect perfect joke. The People Closet Issue. (@gawker)
5. Nobelist Leo Clezio to Publishers: "The Book Is the Ideal Tool" (@critical mass)
6. Gay Marraige - Our Mutual Joy. What the Bible Really Says About Gay marraige. (@newsweek) (thx to haviland)
7. This reminds me of the stagehands union thing - the $73-an-hour autoworker in detroit salary total garbage lie thing: Adding it Up. (@nytimes)
8. Bizarre sad day in publishing ... NPR shutters news & notes, day to day and major book coverage, and james frey interns at Gawker.
9. Meet Elisabeth Frisinger: She lost her virginity and accidentally texted her dad. (@inquisitr) (thx caitlinmae)
10.The stubbornly seductive perils of justice porn like Judge Judy Thank You Your Honor May I Have Another? (@reason magazine)


sameera said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Al said...

You're lucky you already have ideas.
I'm CONSTANTLY trying to come up with things. And whenever I think about things it's while I'm falling asleep so once I wake up I've forgotten what it was.
I learned in psych that those "brilliant" thoughts you think while you're falling asleep are only because you're "out of it from being so tired" that you just think they're brilliant.

I still choose to believe that they are in fact brilliant, even when I'm not half unconscious.

Anyway. I am a very big fan of Jananweirmo because with finals I haven't written at all. Let's just keep pushin that deadline back!

asher said...

wow. not until you regurgitated my words verbatim did i realize how completely idiotic i sound. woo, yeah.

so i chose 'blogstar' to be like 'rock star of the blogosphere' - and the achtung site linking to you just reinforced your ownership of that label. i'm gonna stop trying to explain what goes on in my head. it just doesn't translate to anything logical most of the time.

the other mindfuck about that post '7 blogs', is that i went to art school with the man behind goldenfiddlr or so i'll liken it to the weird thing that happens when your friends from one world (ie, college) are in the same room as your friends from another (ie, high school). only this was a good, not incredibly awkward, gonna go hide in a corner kind of coincidence.

i should take my own advice about not talking more. or as Amy/Mary Louise Parker of the West Wing would suggest 'maybe not so much for you with the talking.'

Anonymous said...

I was so excited about your appearance on Achtung Baby!! Then Asher beat me to the punch. Waa waa. I want to be friends with him and talk about our feelings. Happy Friday fun. Yay auto apparel.

a;ex said...

Maybe its just me, but the last photo for the mystery ad campaign doesn't show.
And if it's what I think it is, this is driving me crazy.

stef said...

when the pj harvey album 'uh huh her' came out, i bought some button pack with three individual 1" buttons that said "uh," "huh" and "her." they lived on my purse. then one (i think "huh") fell off, and then i had to get rid of the other two cos they didn't make any sense. that is all.

asher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crystal said...

Hot buttons.
I enjoy anything that's cheap, fast and good, can't wait.

mira said...

are those buttons!! because they look like buttons. i like buttons.

Vashti said...

Buttons. I want them.

I have an essay due in a little less than three hours and I'm only about a third of the way through it. Clearly I am playing the role of model student right now by surfing the world wide web instead of writing.

riese said...

sameera: hogwarts reminded me a lot of my boarding school except that we learned art instead of magic. That sounds like something Natalie or any of my friends would say. My Natalie doesn't understand how beautiful she is either.

Al: I wish i had less ideas though. That's why my destiny in life is to be a magazine editor, except no one wants to hire me without any experience, and I have too much indignation towards authority to work my way up.

It's probably also true that the brilliant thoughts I have while I'm high are drunk aren't actually that brilliant, but I've passed them off many 'a time on this blog successfully, so they can't be that retarded.

asher: I regurgitated your words because they sounded brilliant to me at 1 AM, and that's not for nothing. Also I totally know what you mean that happens to me actually a lot on facebook when I see that people I know one way are somehow connected to people I know from a totally different way and I am like what we do not have that friend in common what's going on. anyhow keep talking, i like it.

Anonymous: I want to be friends with everyone and talk to everyone about my feelings. It's Thursday right, maybe you live in Australia.

a;ex: It's not just you and it's also driving me crazy.

stef: luckily you will be able to fix that problem realy soon.

Crystal: i know, you're my best consumer. This time you have to actually let me mail you the buttons though.

mira: i like buttons too! i'm also just happy that the animated gif works on your computer.

Vashti: Yeah when I was your age, we didn't have the internet at school we had to read books and it was way easier to study. Actually i'm only halfway kidding. It wasn't 'til my last two years of college that I had steady internet access in my room. It was kind of a blessing that I didn't have it before that time, but I mostly used it for email and AIM anyhow.

[AchtungBaby!] said...

Dear Anonymous, We can be friends. Write me.

A big "HI!, hullo, hola" to asher.

Riese, thanks for the kind words and a precise and inspiring non-description of my little blog.

[ J ]

autumn m said...

Ok so maybe its just me...and im willing to bet that it is. But the buttons were so distracting to me. Like i couldn’t read cause something was flashing. i just stared at it for like ten minutes. i feel dumb.
i must say that article about what the bible says about gay marriage was good. as in, hey that totally makes sense. and tell me you saw John Stewart interview Mike Huckabee!!! it was awesome!!!
ok and thank god for late night news!!!! last night they did a story on the chick who texted her dad about losing her virginity. they were all, "now we don’t want to say her name, for privacy concerns, but lets show you a picture of her." cause you know, that isn’t obvious or anything.
so last night i had a hard time sleeping cause i had a really crappy day. Anyways, i couldn’t fall asleep. But finally around 8am i managed to drift off. Well i don’t know what i was dreaming, but all i remember was laughing so hard that i snorted. Like something sooooooo funny happened and i just couldn’t stop laughing. Anyways, i snorted so loud that i woke myself up and fell off my bed. Like, i kind of startled myself. i felt like a complete moron. And i thought i might share it with you.

Anonymous said...

ok it's me anonymous again. i had a brain fart and thought funday said friday! also now i can see the buttons and they look awesome. i want them all!! look at tink, uh huh her?

achtung i am a huge fan, i love your music choices and talk of video games. i will write you and we can talk about these things.

Jo said...

Buttons look awesome. I especially love the rock bottom one.

Also, saw your twitter feed, and just thought I'd leave a little PSA from the chemistry student- absinthe won't actually make you hallucinate. the amount of the chemical said to cause hallucinations is actually very small, and you are more likely to die of alcohol poisoning (absinthe is generally very high proof) than to actually hallucinate.

I'm such a freaking nerd.

Anonymous said...

Buttons, buttons everywhere. When I was a kid we all wore buttons on our jackets of our favorite bands. Now is the trend to wear buttons of our favorite (vlogger, blogger or podcaster)? Elka & KC over my right boob, Riese over my left & over my vag (j/k)

Congrats on spreading yourself across the internet! You deserve it


Mike Huckabee was on NPR - talking Pro life ( I screamed at my radio for a half hour) I love my NPR he just polluted it. They gave him his say so and not many people challenged him. I am glad that John took him down a notch.


Vashti said...

So I finished my paper 20 mins before I had to turn it in. The internet is going to kill me one day.

Oh and I was going to say this earlier but my mind was all over the place so I didn't BUT I totally went through an animated .gif phase/obsession about 3-4 years ago. I was making those suckas like nobody's business. Of course this was during the summer when I had disgusting amounts of free time and no license/friends. I spent my days watching reruns of Saved By The Bell and SNL [circa 1980s] while eating ramen and learning everything I could about Photoshop & Adobe Illustrator. That being said: Nice work on the .gif, a;ex. [I may or may not have felt a little more compelled to actually write out this comment instead of forgetting about it after seeing a;ex's twitterfeed..]


I just stapled my thumb.

I hope you're enjoying absinthe. I decided about two weeks ago that I wasn't going to drink til I got home for break. But I don't leave til Saturday. I just want my vodka. =[

Allie said...

It's been an absurdly long time since I've commented. Grad school is providing me with a slow, painful, introspective death. During my 6AM spinning class when the instructor was screaming at us to keep pushing up the hill, all I could think about was running over a woman in my research group.

Anyway, inspite of my severely lacking comments lately, I still love you. Also, I'm a little sad my L Word DVDs did not come with a colored picture. But, since there were stickers, I'll remain satisfied.

I am a big fan of the buttons. the rock bottom button is clearly my favorite. I'm going to have to place an order. This critter's been holding out for a hoodie, but a button might suffice...

a;ex said...

Yes! so glad the buttons are getting good feedback (so far.)
A little fun fact: The 'rockbottom' button is actually printed on metallic silver paper. Which I'm really excited about.

We're getting our shit together in the next couple days and will hopefully have these ready to send out asap.

Obviously my number feeling is buttons right now. No worries - I have feelings about the gay marriage Newsweek article too (so awesome.) Did you see Jon Stewart defend gay marriage on the Daily Show the other night against Mike Huckabee?
also awesome.

e. said...

The sight of that Jack Kerouac cover in Spanish fills me with glee.