Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Pardon Me, But Wasn't that your VLOG? That I Felt On the Bed In Between the Sheets?

The thing is; I have an air conditioner in my room. But what happens when I leave my room? How long can I survive on only crackers? It's totally "Do the Right Thing" around here, and "around here" extends to both my kitchen and my neighborhood. Anyhow, some of you live in other countries and aren't experiencing what we're experiencing. Want an experience we can all experience together, like a family? Well, I've got one. It's called "a vlog," and if you've got broadband internet access, we can share this moment together, 'cause caring is sharing.

Haviland's coming to visit super-soon, I can't wait! But in the meantime in between time, Carlytron has valiantly stepped up and vlogged her little ass off with her roommate Matthew and her lesbian dog Saffron. Topics include: flying lesbians. Also, Cesar was there but he wouldn't participate and therefore he was punished.

A;ex just told me it's hard to hear in some parts and that she'd probs have to listen to it 7-8 times. Which's fine, that ups the views. I-movie won't let me make the music quieter than 7%, which is actually apparently a lot. What you're going to have to do is listen up. Like in gym class, when the teacher was like: "listen up."

I got nostalgic for Final Cut (which I didn't use, 'cause I film vlogs on imovie, so that seemed counterproductive) while editing this today. I feel like that's a good sign. It's a sign that one day, I'll learn how to use Final Cut. As Adele would say: "cut, print ..."


dani said...

Seems to be hot hotter the hottest in NYC....Tinkerbell is lying NAKED on/in (i don't know..) your lap...too hot for the hot dog's nice pullover.
ridiculous vlog. i love it.

eric mathew said...

As I wait in anticipation for the second half I have to say that you are very good with FCP. You know some people don't know how to use it who are in the industry, but you my friend do. SNAPS.

Carly what can I say? She is just great. From the glasses to the outfits she is a trendsetter and funny.

Matthew you know he resembles David Sedaris a tad, and good looking.

I have to agree with sweating. Although, I always feel really self-conscious in AA tees because I always sweat more in them. It's awful.

If you haven't seen/ heard the big news, I have reached a gay pinacle. A picture of me in the rosie peace tee is on her blog. it's just well... great.

okay... it's hot. go have an icepop. but the good ones where you have juice at the bottom.

carlytron said...

oh my god. the cesar clips are genius. i will have more thoughts once i watch it 7-8 more times.

dani said...

plus: the sunglasses are gold.

A. said...

Booze - awesome.
Tinkerbell passed out - awesome.
Ridiculous real dog - awesome.
Kanye shades that make everyone a little blind - awesome.

In addition, I'd probably go gay for Carly. I think it's the tie.

Dave Lozo said...

if that was an imitation of a gay balki bartakamous, it was awesome.

and seriously. i haven't seen the volume on the vlog this bad since you had that sexy, brawny guy Lozo. that guy could vlog all night long.

caittttt said...

carly is so hot!!!

jk, this was good guys, i love that everyone has that hot summer shine to their faces.. can't wait for the rest, obvss

MoonKiller said...

I have those white glasses but in green and I have those aviators too. (h)

Haviland Stillwell said...

1. oh, we ALL remember that night.

2. carly...those sunglasses are all the rage in this Ed Hardy/80s neon madness infused fashion nightmare called Hollywood. good thing everyone's so pretty and has such fabulous hair.

3. eric mathew, i love that you're on - makes me very happy. :) i will tell her what a cutie patootie you are.

4. this vlog made me LOL several times. excellent work!

asher said...

i threw some internet love carly's way, way back when. on auto straddle i do believe.

glad to see others doing the same.

that wasn't really a year ago that y'all wrote the tv show, was it? i feel like we're old friends. (ya know, the kind that aren't friends at all. interweb friends).

riese said...

Dani - See, we keep undressing Tinkerbell so that we can re-dress her in other things (e.g., swapping the collar for the Uh Huh Her outfit) and then when those things come off (e.g., the american airlines wings are falling off for sure), there she is ... sigh. Naked! But still. GOOD naked.

Dearest Eric Mathew, star of Rosie. com - 1. Semi and I went straight to and checked you out last night, and it was HOT. 2. I didn't use FCP to make this, I used imovie, but you're right in any event and I will take this compliment. 3. Mathew DOES resemble David Sedaris, you are so right. 4. I just had a creamsicle!

carlytron - I can't wait! Whomever made those Cesar clips to begin with, that girl must be a real genius.

dani - yeah they are!

a. - i know, tink was so super tired the whole time.
also - Carly can pull off that tie. It's just what she does.

dave lozo - for real, you need to turn that frown upside down. let's get a little positive energy flowing here. Do you need a rub & tuck? You know I like to read your blog all at once, and comment 6 times in two hours, and you know I'll do it soon. LIke our sex life.

caittt - OMGGGGGGGGG I'm glad you liked my hot vodka shine. Also, Tinkerbell says hayyyyyy let's bbery message.

moonkiller - I had them in pink, and then Semicolon sat on them. I think it was in this vlog. They lasted about two hours.

haviland stillwell - tinkerbell's memory of that night is less than impressive 'cause she was regleated to the little bag below the shelf at the bar, but the rest of us remember that night. wait. except for semicolon, 'cause she was drugged by that guy who was playing pool!

asher - it was, almost! actually i'd started talking to carly online a little over a year ago, but we first met in person during pride '07, and so then I guess started writing the show probs the first week of july '07. maybe. I was really drunk. And really tan. And really skinny! I can't remember anything, I was eating a lot of chicken fingers and french fries. In fact, I'd like to be eating that right now. If McDonald's delivered, my life would be perfect in so many ways, but coronary-inducing in so many other ways.

jenn said...

Bravo on this super vlog, im in agreement that carly is hotter than the boney one out of the L Word!!

super vlog peeps

Razia said...

Something is different. Are you wearing blush? Good different, ps.

Liz said...

carly is hot. Katherine Moennig is not. Loved the vlog. The baby-sitters club and my dad's liquor cabinet made the pre-teen and early teen years quite livable. I heart the babysitters.

Dave Lozo said...

frown? the volume was low. what?

oh, and i take back that Indian in the Cupboard thing. the kid i'm thinking of is someone else. i've spent about 20 minutes this morning trying to figure out the movie. stay tuned.

.elida. said...

I always love the VLOGS. This one made me LOL several times as did your reference to "Do The Right Thing" and The Babysitters Club.

I probably get too excited for the VLOGS, if there is such a thing.

PS: I wanted to comment on the H&R Q&A and say that I literally LMFAO when you said the bit about suggesting that she cover her body in poison. Awesome.

riese said...

jenn: and she's funny!

razia: I think it's the lighting, but I know what you're talking about. I wish I had blush that did what Carly's bed does for my cheeks. Ha! Ha!

Liz: I heart parent's liquor cabinets, kate moennig, carly, and the babysitters. holla!

lozo: Elliot from E.T? That kid from the commercials who always wore a striped shirt and was talking to his grandpa about something (I forget what it was?)

.elida: And I love your LOVE for the VLOGS, and all kinds of LOL'ing. I'd like to add that Semicolon bit my arm (in a non-sexual way, she just did it to be funny/not funny) and it bruised and so I am going to coat my body in poison and it's gonna be AWESOME. Not as awesome as a VLOG, but awesome. There's no such thing as too excited, btw.

jenn said...

Funny makes hotter hotterer...........score!!!!

Also was you'r mum a ringo star fan? (Hair cut in pic?)

caitlin said...

wait, can we just take a timeout to ask why no one has commented on the fact that you said "so this is what people who take it up the butt like" did no one else catch this? did no one else want to bring it up? cause it's a tie between that and how much of a critter carly is when she says something about saffy not barking.. also, all these clips of cesar? no one has anything to say about this? just saying. clearly i have a lot of feelings about this.

kath said...

love this thing, riese you're hilarious. don't know you so its kind of strange to say your first name but not going to call you blonde girl or writer of this here page.

vlog was funny. i think you should actually stage an intervention...or just watch that show intervention on A&E, that shit is golden. i regularly watch that with my sister and add my critical commentary of the old junkies bugging out in a box under a bridge. then i feel like an elitist bitch, but its good while it lasts. basically watch the show.

yeah, so i just wanted to say i think you're the and i did just say that because i can. freedom of speech bitchessss. but in all actuality, i think you're a great writer, and as someone who tries to write and truly admires those that can, i think its pretty sweet that you're willing to put yourself out there. so keep doing what you're doing gurrl and i'll keep reading.

oh and your friends are hilarious. get me the fuck out of tejas!!

green said...

i've been on vacay [read: getting drunk in the desert for 6 days straight], so i missed this little gem. however, i still have thoughts. here is the most prevailing:


second most:

cesar, cesar, and more cesar.

i bet i'll think of more interesting things to say when i get the feeling back in my brain cells. until then, i'm gonna put this vid on a loop and have mini heart attacks every time riese says i'm cute and carly speaks in general.


Slicey said...

I know I've commented on this vid in other places, but everytime I come across it I just have to watch it again. It's hilariously compelling. Or compellingly hilarious. (I think I used too many 'L's)

Anyhoo, I liked this response from Riese: "I heart parent's liquor cabinets, kate moennig, carly, and the babysitters. holla!" I too heart all those things, except I don't know carly, but I heart her vlogs anyway.

Mostly I wanted to say that I don't read your blog often, and that is a shame, because every time I DO take the time to read I end up here for HOURS. I think if I made more of an effort to read blogs on a daily basis I would stay much more informed, entertained, and enlightened and would thus not feel so lazy after being distracted for hours upon hours at a time. Those are my three cents (I always give an extra cent on Thursdays).