Friday, March 13, 2009

and if you call, i will answer

ETA: New H&R Advice Column Vlog on Autostraddle!

Q: What are you doing? Why haven't you updated since Friday?

A: I've been working on Autostraddle ("girl-on-girl culture for weirdos") all day/weeks. It's a new website, probs eventually will be the best website of all time. I'm doing it with my team in preparation for the revolution/the factory/the dream. Right now it looks like an L Word shrine 'cause that show just ended and that's all the old autostraddle content. Pretty soon it'll look like an Awesome Shrine, and we'll do a dance around it, like they did in early 90's movies with lesbian & witchery undertones.

Driver: Watch out for the weirdos, girls.
Nancy: We are the weirdos, mister.
Anyhow I have lots more to say about that to y'all and recruitment to do, but I have to get it all on lockdown first. meemememememememe!

Q: When will you go back to being the most reliable blogger ever besides Lozo who doesn't even read his comments and often quits?
I'll be better at updating autowin starting next week, sorry I've neglected you just like your first wife and maybe even your mom. If your Mom neglected you, you should write a book. Some things will change like this blog will be more emo whereas vlogs will go on new Autostraddle but I'll tell you about it so you can read that too.

Q: What about Stuff I've Been Reading?

Soon! I'm gonna scare away all my readers except brooklyn boy. JK srsly hello I was not awarded best lesbian personal blogger for nothing. I mean I'm not even a lesbian.

Q: Do you ever think about things you're pretty positive you'll NEVER do?

A: Omg, all the time. Like I can't really ever imagine being seriously overweight, or becoming a Baptist, I guess. Do you ever think about that?

Q: Yeah. What are you really thinking about?
A: I've been trying to think differently.

Q: Is it weird?

A: Yeah it is weird, everything's weird. Sometimes it's weird how even though I am writing for everyone/no-one, I find I'm often really only writing to one or two people and just hoping it's interesting or compelling enough for other people to feel it could also be about them or interesting to them or I don't know, I guess everyone just wants to be something to someone. Then people disappear and I don't know who I'm writing letters to anymore.

I think what happened is the balance tipped into a spot where I missed all these "yous" so much, so intensely, so all-over-my-body like, that when just one more person I would have to miss like that was shot into that spot it just overflowed, and the power of that has made me too sad to be anything but totally alert and happy all the time. It's something, I mean, it works.

Q: Remember when you used to shut down your blog sometimes?
A: Ha, yeah, maybe like ten people know what I'm talking about. It would usually be for like 12-24 hours or something. My relationship to my MacBook Pro isn't as intimate as my relationship to my MacBook. MacBooks look like cute pets so I think you feel closer to them. This machine is a MACHINE. It kicks ass, like witchery.

This has happened before -- these little lapses. When Pekor and I had a three-day silent fight, when I lost B. When I lost "Olive." And again. When I lost track of time. When I lost my footing and changed my location, ultimately, from "Warlem" to "couch-hopping" and then back again. When I've been on the Rosie cruise, when I was in Malibu and right before I went to Malibu, maybe even when I was in Texas, I can't remember. When I was working 60 hours a week for a few days I lapsed.

Anyhow I just wanted to say this isn't like, the part where I slowly taper out and just vanish, that's something I've never wanted to do, and never will. So yeah, I'm just working on this website and super focused and we will be back to regularly scheduled programming more or less I hope next week. Okay? Okay! Yay! Hi! What's your favorite song right now?


Crystal said...

I remember when your blog used to shut down momentarily. It stopped me from taking it for granted.

My favourite song right now is The Less I Know by Raine Maida. You should listen.

I'm glad you've updated. I haven't been on blogger for so long that I can't remember my password. Um.

Meghan said...

In Spite of All the Damage by The Be Good Tanyas, which btw I got from a friend a while ago without even knowing they were from Vancouver OR that this song was on THE L WORD SEASON ONE SOUNDTRACK (remember when there was this show that didn't suck?).

Meghan said...

p.s. yay autostraddle

Vashti said...

Riese. I'm avoiding a 5 page paper that's due in less than 12 hours that I've yet to start writing [I have most of the planning done though. Small victories]. Umm, I don't know what to comment about right now. I've been spreadin' the word about autostraddle. Sometimes I leave post-its on the desks telling people to go there. Reppin' the Autostraddle Street Team.

Forget Stuff I've Been Reading. What about Autowin Book Club? Not that I've read the book but I mean, just sayin.

None of this makes sense. I want to shoot myself in the face. I hate writing papers. I'm all about 'The Just' by Camus right now. It's just. so. good.

N.J. said...


white winter hymnal by fleet foxes!


sleepyhead by passion pit.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Haha. Are you saying I'm only here for the emo? Pshaw. I like Book Club too! And Auto-Fun! And Auto-Win!

Favorite song right now = "Grass is Greener" by Lelia Broussard, who I'm going to see tonight at The Bitter End in the West Village.

(Yes, that was a wildly shameless plug. Whoever wants to should come play. I promise a good time. Or at least a beer. Unless all of you show up. Then we'll have to do shots.)

The Brooklyn Boy said...

I meant to add "And exclamation points!!!" to that series.

Jo said...

any song off of Amanda Palmer's album Who Killed Amanda Palmer

new autostraddle is awesome!

Haviland Stillwell said...

love the interview...totally going to do it on the new strad.

Vashti said...

I missed the favorite song question at the end there. I want to participate!

Ummm, right now I'd have to say it's Succexy by Metric.

e. said...

Right now, I am once again in love with Springsteen's "New York City Serenade". I think a lot of his fans don't care for it because it's not really rock, and it's been called "self-indulgent" because the intro is long and instrumental. But it's epic and intimate and the violins are to break your heart.

Also, just about any song by Jenn Grant will do in a pinch. Everyone should listen to her album, ps. Really really.

mindy said...

Autostraddle is fantastic. I work in web development and really - it's great. Go team!

Elizabeth said...

New post! I get ridiculously happy at new posts on the blogs/sites I read.

Favorite song right now... all I've been listening to (besides T&S and Amanda Palmer, of course) is... Lily Allen and the Ting Tings.

carlytron said...

I always have a lot of feelings about songs:

Crystal - Raine Maida has a solo album?! Shriek!! I was his #1 fan in high school.

N.J. - that passion pit song is awesome.

as for me, these have been on repeat all week:

The new kelly clarkson album is AWESOME.
Kleerup feat. Lykke Li - Until We Bleed
Anything by La Roux.
N.A.S.A. - Gifted
Shiny Toy Guns - Ghost Town

Word ver: redacato, obvs "redacted" in Spanish or something

Leah said...

Right now it's "Sunday Afternoon" which I probably already tried to plug here. Or "Elephants". They're both by Rachael Yamagata, the whole "Elephants-Teeth Sinking Into Heart" is fantastic. I will be seeing her at the reopening of the famous Crocodile Cafe in Seattle at the end of this month. If she visits New York you should see her...adorable and AMAZING.

autumn m said...

i thought you and your blog were never going to make up.

fav. song at this moment....Secret by Missy Higgins

sherri said...

The new Autostraddle looks so exciting!

My favorite song right now might be "Paris" by Friendly Fires, though I've also been ridiculously and dorkily obsessed with the entire Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode (speaking of lesbian and witchery undertones. Well, overtones actually).

Squid said...

We Are All Made of Stone by: Dance Yourself To Death. Cheers. Great blog.

Abby said...

"so all-over-my-body like"
I really like that.
Auto-Straddle is amazing, gracias mucho. Exciting.
My favorite song when it was warm was "Water Curses" by Animal Collective, but now that it's back to cold, "Seoul" by Amiina is real nice.

saint modesto said...

hmm.. "A King and a Queen" by Okkervil River.

JD said...

Congrats on the new AS- really (really) looking forward to all of the new content.

The Killers - Forget about what I said

eric mathew said...

whats up?

i keep seeing your buddy ross from the cruise at work. we talk in the elevator.

i should tell him you say hi.

anyway my feet hurt. and allergies. oh brother.

how lucky is carly for having that muppet?
im jeal.

anyway... miss you. ronnie is moving to bklyn. she said her apt is like rent. the musical, not the relator term. idk... maybe a drag queen drums.

Rachel said...

this blog is psychedelic when you're drunk!

Anonymous said...

I like you Riese! OMG I was going to say Untill We Bleed too. It's sooo gooood!

.elida. said...

i CANNOT stop listening to "the reckoner" by radiohead. i feel like i could live inside that song for hours at a time. "fake plastic trees" has also been on heavy rotation.

and for whatever reason, this gd christian rock song has been stuck in my head while i brush my teeth. i heard the song a week ago b/c a guy who played right before us sang jesus songs, which, i mean, that's cool, dude. he's super talented, just not my cup o tea, per say w/r/t songs about religion. and that is probably why i have his song stuck in my head.

three times a day.

ps: autostraddle is my number one feeling today.

Anonymous said...

dreamboat -- mirah

B. said...

This is my favorite blog.

My song for today is "Joy" by John McLaughlin on the Shakti album.

Word verif: "imperdre" sounds like something Sancho would say. "Imperdre(te), Don Quijote, imperdre(te)!"

Bokolis said...

I ain't mad atcha.

I gave up on chasing the lobsters out of my home computer. I also realized that, because I'm the only non-capo-level-and-above-mafioso human not on facebook, I don't need my computer all that much.

It takes too much work to digest you at work...and I'm firewalled from viewing all those pictures of what I presume to be poom-poom shorts. It's killing me.

Your friend from The Craft is in the remake of Bad Lieutenant. If she reprises her role as Nanacy, it will make the whole thing slightly less criminal.

No favorite song...always been Warning by Notorious B.I.G...that's how I roll.

a;ex said...

Love Don't Live Here Anymore -Ladyhawke
Hurt You -the Sounds
Stepping Stone -Duffy

Needless to say: I'm still obsessed with Lady Gaga

Anonymous said...

VooDoo- Godsmack
Wait Another Day- Uh Huh Her
My Life Would Suck Without You- Kelly Clarkson
Lightning Crashes- Live

I couldn't pick just one so I listed four. You're awesome so please don't leave us!

Mercury said...

love the site.
trying to change how you think is hard. like an ant trying to direct traffic.

I'm kind of obsessed with "Hanging by a Moment" by lifehouse right now. it's good counterpoint to how fucked up my life is and makes me reminiscent of when I felt that way.

also untouched by the veronicas just for the opening, really, and pink's sober.

word veri: bleddisb, which is like "Bleddish", that's what I thought it was, I wanted it to be a real word related to the past tense of "bleed"

riese said...

i am making a list of all your songs to listen to i have them in a list. i don't even know what my favorite song is right now, zomg, i don't even know.

crystal - i remember when your blog used to shut down all the time like completely and then you'd forget your password for it too and it would never come back i like raine maida but i don't have that track so i will remedy that

meghan - that song i used to listen to all the time after s1 of the l word, i'd listen to that and leonard cohen and joan armatrading all the time and think about this good show i loved

meghan - p.s. thanks

vashti: I hope you got your paper done woman but i am thinking you did. stuff i've been reading & book club info will come at once like an avalanche. you are a supreme procrastinator and i admire your street teamdom and tenacity.

N.J.: HI! i have not heard of any of those bands exciting!

Brookyln Boy: No I'm saying you're the only one who I know for sure will read the book club book. Actually maybe autumn will too, I shouldn't sell everyone else short. I feel no-one is here for the emo, sometimes. I just say things, I'm too illusive lately. If I was the kind of person who showed up to things I'd show up and let you get me a shot. :-)

Jo: ooo i have that one, i autowin! my bff juan at achtung baby sent me the album. yay new autostraddle!

haviland stillwell: i love that you have new abrevs.

vashti: You're still procrastinating.

e.: you know how i feel about self-indulgence, it's my number one feeling. i also like things that are epic and intimate. and the violin is my favorite instrument.

mindy: I just got lost on your tumblr blog for like ten minutes and i promised myself not to get distracted and just bang out these comments. i want you to know that if your friend ryan ever wants someone to do a jewel lyrics-off with him i am armed and ready.

Elizabeth: i also get ridiculously excited about new posts on my own site 'cause it means i am not a waste of space. so everyone autowins clearly.

carlytron: dj carlytron, the musical oracle! i feel like your word verif was a real word and would never get past spanish spammers.

Leah: Oh I love the Rachel Yamagata. It's so sad, but so perfect, and her oice is so lovely.

autumn m: Oh yes it was tough but we were able to put our issues aside. I heart Missy Higgins, she has a lot of feelings like me.

sherri: The new autostraddle IS so exciting and we are so excitant about it. If I tell you I've never seen buffy, I feel like I'll get yelled at about it again.

Squid: There's a song called "we are all made of stars" by moby. I saw it on the teevee at the gymnasium once. just saying.

Abby: Thanks I made it up. I am so excitant for autostraddle bellisimiososquana.

saint modesto: hmmm okay!

JD: I love the killers it makes me wanna dance

eric mathew: i don't think he would know who i was if you told him i said hi but maybe it would be a funny conversation. love carly's muppet too. i'm interested in how an apartment can be like a musical, is there lots of singing and dancing and street crime?

rachel: I'm quoting you on that.

anonymous: OMG thanks like you so much! Until We Bleed got it totaly.

.elida: Oh fake plastic trees; totally on the clueless soundtrack i think? or the empire records soundtrack? your number one feeling is my number one feeling too. i don't think i could listen to a jesus song. except hey jesus by the indigo girls.

anonymous: mm i like mirah too. think i heard of them via a blog reader too.

B.: this is your favorite blog? funny, i'd always pegged you as more of an L Word recap fan than a books-and-feelings supporter. Interesting ...

[you will] prevail, Don Quijote, [I will] prevail.

Bokolis: There's massive poom-poom shorts action happening from a few weeks ago when I was trying to win tha contest. Then I won the contest and since then I have been a bad blogger. Next I'm going to introduce an unpopular stimulus package. Your favorite song is awesome.


lezbestrong2gether: I won't ever leave, then I'd have no friends since all my friends are on the internet. Live lighting crashes reminds me of middle school, like the early 90's, I remember I think I went to one of their concerts, or wanted to, and there was some issue with a fetus in their album art.

Mercury: or like google trying to direct traffic which apparently it does not want to do w/r/t autostraddle.

i'm so into "sober" right now. it's one of those songs where the words get in your head because they make sense. i want a sequel song where she explains if she ever got an answers.

Brynne said...

So, will there be more posting soon, for those of us who missed your overnight post-and-delete routine?