i need to write a blog post
because people will read it if i do
and usually i write more blog posts than this
because i am not spending all that time
writing about a really terrible teevee show
and starting my own rocketshow on the internet for cyber-performance art
and other death defying acts
to be honest i always hated the circus
because it always seemed dirty
like the other kids especially
and i prefer clean entertainment
i want my entertainment to smell like windex
i was trying to think of something to write about so i took out this old diary from 1989, it's a "Beezus and Ramona Diary" and it has prompts in it because kids can't think of a whole book of diary stuff on their own because not that much happens before the insomnia kicks in. instead of answering one of these questions i'm going to just transcribe an already-filled in section 'cause my answer in 1989 is better than any answer I could have now. I guess I was 8. spelling and grammar is truthful to the original.
i think most of what people have to say when they are kids is boring and the same, but i think this might actually be funny (?)
If I ever have a son or daughter I will always: Hug and kiss them, take well care of them, like, pretend they were part of me.Also there's a part that asks what do you do to "let off steam" and in addition to screaming, singing, jumping, dancing and running, I wrote in "talk to my stuffed animals."
And I will never: Spank, Shove food down their throt, hurt them for fun, kill them, give them drugs, teach them bad ways, shove a cigar or cigarette in their mouth, Treat them like trash, hate them, Let them do something dangerous, not get them any presents, ignore them, eat them, give them posin, make them do something that they don't consider fun, make them do some dangerous stunt, let them take drugs and not let them dy their hair green, purple, orange etc.
two nights ago there was a fire
mostly i was proud of myself for correctly identifying the smell
before reaching the scene.
i'd gone out to get food, i forgot to get food and instead just stood in front of china place
and looked at the fire
then went home & ordered food from china place for delivery.
the problem with writing down every thought that comes into my head is that most of my thoughts aren't interesting
i would like to trade brains with an iguana and then with my future children, that way i can change my mind about what i want to do with them
also i didn't like the zoo for the same reason
i thought it smelled weird
i have completely neglected email after email
i owe like 100 emails to people
probably i have lost readers and everyone thinks i'm a jerk
I think from now on this blog is going to be just for weirdos
and when i want to be normal or "good" or "appealing to readers"
i will write on new autostraddle which is this online magazine/blog thing i am going to start and it will start on sunday at a different url and i
don't know what url stands for
underwear revolts lusciously
up rocket launch!
so that is why i have been so busy and
i haven't written a blog post.
sooner this will work better for everyone
like a relationship that gets fixed
my hair looks like andy warhol
no andy warhol looks like my hair
if it was legal to deal drugs i think i might like to be a drug dealer
it would be nice to always arrive with something people want
or edible arrangements
i am running out of people to talk about that won't read this
it used to just be haviland that i couldn't talk about
now it's everyone
i was lying, i've tried to watch 30 rock before
i just never got into it
yesterday i started reading you are a little bit happier than i am
by tao lin who will read this because he googles himself
and then i'll feel weird and tell myself it's okay 'cause he's a little bit weirder than i am
and he's Famous
anyhow i really liked it and finished it today and now am going to start&finish another one of his books
he mailed it to me you should buy one and read it for fun
if you've read his books you probably can tell that i just read his book
i'll talk about this in my next "stuff i've been reading" which i almost am done writing
those are all the thoughts i just had
i'm sorry it's not a real blog post
the reason for that is that those are the thoughts i just had
if you just started reading this blog last week you might wonder what the fuck is going on
and when i'm gonna talk about underwear and the Breakfast Club again
i think a lot of writers write because they want to talk to people just like everyone wants to talk to people
but they don't really know how.
i like reading things on the internet to exercise my brain, i'm gonna do that now and tell you what i like
some things that would be fun for you to auto-read too
- i think my own font would be embarassing but i want to see it and be embarassed
- i can't fucking believe i live in a world that thinks titles like this are acceptable
- artists are losing jobs fastly and furiously more than anyone else, obvs
- david foster wallace: wiggle room (fiction). i just remembered how we weren't really talking this one time and then you texted me to say david foster wallace killed himself and i felt really sad and i was in cvs which made me even sadder.
- in new york magazine sam anderson writes about the "mini-biography" of david foster wallace published in the new yorker
- the next few links have to be more optimistic than those ones but you should really read those ones too okay
- i can't believe i just noticed this but susie bright was on pot psychology !
- and rachel maddow is on the view! i didn't know she was 5'11, that's taller than me.
- haviland's gonna do a concert in l.a go watch her sing songs!
- the recession is AWESOME !
- the secret lives of new yorkers !
- i like this mcfaul studio design blog !
how are you? everything good? what did you have for breakfast? was it good? i had a hot pocket and a nespresso.