Thursday, October 16, 2008

auto-alternatively fueled fun of these days 10-16-2008

This is a group shot by stacie joy from the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar, which you should buy. I am the trannie in the back, channeling Tinkerbell in my Dolly Parton wig. Also! There's Sugarbutch, who's only photographed from behind on her blog as y'all know from when I was lightly flogging her in the lesbian blog contest and possibly also [talking about how i was gonna] make her take me on a date so I could see her from the front. Other ladies in the shoot who I actually knew before I got there include RKB, who edits every erotica anthology ever written, the fabulous Jayme Waxman, Lux Appletreedream from the famous sex panel which was for the book that Dacia wrote. Ta-da!

We're having a launch party on November 14th, which coincidentally is also the 13th anniversary of the worst day of my whole life. Clearly I will be getting very intoxicated. Show up to watch me make an ass of myself. I just wanna show up in someone's recap in words like "someone got really .... jolly! last night! and was dancing on the bar ..."
Hello autowinners this is tinkerbell. Riese promised to stop talking about the election following her giant election information party yesterday, but then she wanted to write McCain a poem and I do not know what to say for this. If you've not read her election post, you or someone in your family can expect a kiwi in the face within 5-6 business days.

I know you are wondering what me, Tinkerbell, thinks about all this. As the Dog Whisperer can tell you, dogs are very attuned to body language and can read your mind. Therefore I can safely say that John McCain is a bad idea. Onto the Auto-Fun.

"Let both sides seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors. Together let us explore the stars, conquer the deserts, eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths, and encourage the arts and commerce.

Let both sides unite to heed in all corners of the earth, the command of Isaiah -- to "undo the heavy burdens, and [to] let the oppressed go free."

And, if a beachhead of cooperation may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new endeavor -- not a new balance of power, but a new world of law -- where the strong are just, and the weak secure, and the peace preserved.

All this will no be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days; nor in the life of this Administration; nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin."

-John F. Kennedy
Inaugural Address
January 20, 1961
debate roundup:
salon: McCain loses the last debate
huffington post: final debate - mccain brings up ayers, ACORN
sam stein: say it to each others' faces
robert shrum: put mccain out of his misery
phillip elliot: joe the plumber speaks
ari melber: obama t.k.o.s mccain in last debate
nytimes: live blog - the last tangle presidential debate live-blogging
wonkette: liveblogging the end of everything, part v

1. The science of gossip: why we can't help ourselves (@scientific american) (thanks to a.bartelby)
2. Compared to brits, new yorkers are apparently sober mcsobersons. let's put down the drink and just talk. (@the times online)
3. Indie heartthrob interviews cristy c. road, who i've loved and displayed visual love for on this very blog. (@bookslut)

Her answer to "if you were asked to write and illustrate a Sarah Palin biogrpahy, how would it look and where would you start?":
I would start by making sure it's written through a truthful and objective lens as opposed to those of her tyrannical allies. Then, I would make sure I have the freedom to illustrate her agenda through my own lens; thus exposing the inhuman effects her politics would have on society. The lighting in such drawings would be dark and grim. The story will conclude with a classy full color piece showing her severed head inside of a giant condom, encircled by a montage. This montage will illustrate the outcomes (STD's, pregnancies by way of abuse, dead polar bears) of some of her proposed VP policies. Basically, before engaging in such a project, I will ensure the author ties her TRADITIONAL VALUES to such unfortunate circumstances such as GENOCIDE, BLINDNESS, and complete and utter POWERLESSNESS; specifically among the minds/bodies of American women.

I will also make sure to remove that over the top contour from the illustrations of her face. Homegirl needs some assistance at the MAC counter at the mall, dear god.
4. The "Wall Street/Main Street" Bug: Curing Symptoms of Synechdoche - "Lately we've heard so much about "Wall Street" and "Main Street" that foreigners might think America comes divided not into states or counties, or red and blue, but boulevards, highways, and the like. Yet lots of very different people have lived at both addresses. Part of figuring out where one stands intellectually amid the financial meltdown of the moment requires absorbing the disparate images and associations we identify with both phrases." (@the chronicle of higher ed)
5. Top Nine Shameless Celebrity Election Videos (@the daily beast)
6. Patient Voices: "How does an eating disorder take over someone’s life? Is it a matter of losing control or trying to seize it? Eight men, women and children tell of their struggles with anorexia, bulimia and other forms of eating disorders." (@nytimes health)
7. Defamer Australia talks to Sia about Tila Tequila, Lindsay Lohan, and Writing Songs with a Certain Pop Star (@defamer)
8. If you want me and Carly to recap South of Nowhere you should know that we like attention and praise. Well, I do. Just saying. The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach and/or the intenret. (@autostraddle)
9. For some reason the emo-cave is not involved in the 10 Historic Secret Rooms and Hidden Passages (@weburbanist) (thanks to big-exit)
10. Why Jews Make More Money and Win More Nobel Prizes (@jewcy)
11. debate preview: batman vs. the penguin (@truthdig)

[i am rita]

insomnia poem #16
[inspired by john mccain's performance at the third debate]

people are strange fruit
smoke & shoot
on the inside people are usually
like oranges
fleshy and sweet
and me: allergic to all of it
but here's the marrow

people are like oranges
except for the people
who are like dates
[hard and chewey]
which i've never eaten really
'cause they are scary to me
like john mccain
the rain in spain
falls mainly on the plain
i don't think
anyone as rich as you are
can feel


it came from

you say potato, i say potato,
you say palin, i say pain

hey you on the tv
here's a fresh slice
of our sweet
dream, like
hope right before
it happens,
and most of us
die still yearning
but yearning sweetly
i mean that it's so sweet
it would make you kiss

like a smile when you mean it
like a feeling when you feel it

and we'll go eyes closed
fuck your pose

i hope you lose.


eric mathew said...

oh tink please don't go crazy. it;s not like when you could take a shot everytime piper's mom said maverick.

did you read my top 10 britney music videos. i know how much you loved crossroads.

Anonymous said...


Haviland Stillwell said...

i LOVE the poem!

autumn m said...

i never knew the brits drank so much. thats crazy!!!!

a;ex said...

You, that wig, and wonder woman in that photo are a few of my favorite things.

Hi Tink! Littlefoot says he misses you.

Atherton Bartelby said...

There are so many amazing things about this post that I don't even know where to begin the OMGs! I stumbled across that calendar shot yesterday morning via a link to RKB's Flickr, I think, and immediately was like, "!!!!1!" Everyone looks fabulous, of course, but YOU look AWESOME!

The insomnia poetry was amazing, as was the Kennedy, and THAT OBAMA SHOT! It is SO beautiful! Where on earth did you find it?!

Anyway, what a fabulous way to start the day!

Crystal said...

Linking Defamer Australia made my day.

riese said...

eric mathew: hi eric mathew this is tinkerbell, i did read your top ten music videos but i couldn't comment if i could i would have said oh my this is lovely much like britney herself.

anonymous: thank you!

haviland: I LOVE you!

autumn m: I know, I feel very sober compared to them.

a;ex: Wonder Woman in that photo is my favorite thing for sure.
Tink says hi littlefoot i miss your little feet!

atherton: i know! re; obama shot. and the crappy thing is i don't even remember, but when i saw it i was like omg, how amazing, how touching, how candid, how honest, how perfect, i must put it on my blog, and i was just waiting for the right moment. it might have been on the blog of this guy who i saw on msnbc that i thought was cute, he was the editor of some magazine or another. clearly i have a problem with msnbc.

also in my individual shot i look a little bit like a hot trannie mess, but I'm trying to become at peace with that. hollerrrr.

crystal: i would've thanked you for that, but usually when i link to your blog, you react by deleting your blog. so you know, i'll settle for making your day.

Crystal said...

I think my blog has been deleted for about 6 months now, no fear. But that's okay, obvs I share Defamer Australia for the passion and not the credit.

Also, I forgot to say that I love the photo.

Coffee Stained said...

Dear Tinkerbell,

I know that Riese isn't talking about the election anymore, so when I saw this I thought maybe you would like to see it.
It scared me.
Even though the Canadian election didn't exactly turn out so well either--it could have been much worse. I was pretty nervous about it actually, probably like how you're nervous about your election.
I think this is probably why:

Anonymous said...

BOMBED! I o ly comment when I'm crunk. it's a sahme. i love the blog. i love you. i think you hte when i comment, but i can't help it. muah.
PS it took me foreber to do the letter/number thing

cookies said...

RIESE you look sexy!
hmm.. palin's head in a giant condom... now that I'd like to see.

Anonymous said...

omg, i love the wig! love it! big hair, yay! you look beaaautiful.