I'd planned on jumping right back into the Year in Review today, but June '07 seemed like a really depressing way to start out January '08, so I'll post it later this week and then ... onwards & upwards with that "Year in Review" thing. For now ... 'cause it's Wednesday, it's clearly time for the Sunday Top Ten.
10. I'm Entering a New Stage of Hairstyle Development:
If you paid close attention to the YIR vlog, you'd've noticed that my hair is growing, like a tree reaching for the sky or a baby worm becoming an adult worm. Presently, my Haviland-for-Cream cut is evolving into the "behind-the-ear-tuckage potential" stage. This presents a plethora of all-new Style and Fashion possibilities.
9. National Lampoon's Lesbian Vacation:
So many exciting vacations are in the works, including the much-anticipated March journey to Hipster Festival "South by Southwest" in Austin, Texas. They show super-rad movies and have panels about Web 2.0 and there's rock 'n roll bands for kids with feelings and visions. Like me! Since I'm a stellar advance planner who probs won't really think about the fact that I'm going to SXSW until Crystal shows up in New York to remind me, I've yet to purchase tickets to anything (probs sold out now?) because I'm totes convinced that somehow, between now and then, I'll become terribly successful and famous and obvs The New Yorker will be paying me to cover SXSW for them and'll get me press passes. They were all over Lez Girls by Jenny Schecter, and clearly I've got one-up on her, as I've never killed a dog to get a girl before. Anyhoo.
8. New Year's Resolutions
Being the rebellious damn-the-man hiptard that I am, I rarely take New Year's Resolutions seriously. I mean: isn't every day another chance to turn it all around (or not)? Howevs, this year, I've got about 100. I need to write them down, I should put that on my '08 To-Do List. Also, I don't need to lose ten pounds or quit smoking, so that's covered. I should resolve to go to the gym regularly, because I already do that, so I could be like "Congrats, self!" Anyhow, let's take a look at my 21st century History of Resolutions:
2000 - Celebrate every national holiday to the fullest, including President's Day, and "have as much fun as possible."
2001 - "GET IT FUCKING TOGETHER"
2002 - Stop knocking over that glass of water by my bed. (I slept on a tiny dorm-bed sized mattress on the floor and always had a glass of water by my bed and then in the morning I'd always knock it over and then my floor would always be wet.)
2003 - Break up with my boyfriend Chris. (I did that immediately, at about 12:20 A.M. on January 1st in the basement of Phi Sig, while preparing a grilled cheese for his "brother" Walter using Walter's brand new sandwich-maker. I'd like a sandwich maker, actually, that thing was awesome. I quoted this Stephen Dunn in my journal: "How attractive trouble feels/in paradise. The place next door/where pain is an option/begins to whisper.")
2004 - "I want to be strong, I want to laugh along, I want to belong to the living." (-Joni Mitchell) (Yeah. I know.)
2005- Apparently I had consumed far too much alcohol to make a resolution. My diary from the 31st includes insights like "I am writing IN PENCIL! WHO WRITES in PENCIL? Where is KRISTA? I'm ready to GO OUT!"
2006- DREAM LIFE 2006: this was Lo and I's plan to make our lives into everything we'd ever wanted/dreamed of by getting an apartment together in Williamsburg and executing as much fabulosity as possible. It was a mostly abstract idea and seemed great in theory -- in practice, it involved a lot of yelling, which wasn't really what I had in mind when I said 'Dream Life 2006,' but that's just me, to each his own, obvs.
2007- Write the book proposal, like, now.
2008 - Preliminary possibilities include waking up at the same time every morning, setting aside at least an hour a day to jut read (books), being more organised, writing a daily schedule for myself and celebrating every National Holiday to the fullest, including President's Day.
7. I'm Going to Write my Book!
"You're gonna write the best book ever." -Cait.
No seriously, last year around this time I started pushing ahead w/full strength -- and miraculously I did follow through on my self-imposed deadlines. And, well, that seems like a lifetime ago. Now that I've reoriented both the book plan and my brain ... it's gonna rock. Totes.
6. Season Five of The L Word [recaps ]!
My roommate Zoey's girlfriend asked me to name a teevee show I actually do enjoy and think is a good show, 'cause maybe it's not that I don't like The L Word, it's that I don't like television. Good point, and probably true.
But anyhow. I thought of these (some then, some since) shows -- limited to shows I've actually seen -- and I'd stand behind 'em: Six Feet Under, The West Wing, Queer as Folk, Reno 911, My So-Called Life, The Office, The Daily Show, Will & Grace, Arrested Development, Sex and the City, Ellen (her sitcom), Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, The Simpsons, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Daria, Law and Order: SVU, Twin Peaks, Quantum Leap, Family Guy, The Chapelle Show. Ta-da! No, obvs I love The L Word. Best show ever, totes.
5. Les Mis is closing on January 6th!
As you may recall, earlier this year the members of the Stagehands' Union Hooha had a lot of feelings and therefore went on strike. Consequently, Haviland didn't have to go to to work anymore and was actually able to hang out at night! So! Soon it's gonna be like permanent strike, unless she gets hired to go be a movie star in China or wherever they make movies these days. I just know they make a lot of stuff in China. The only movie I saw this year was Juno, it took place in L.A. I think, or Vancouver, I dunno, I just know where they make The L Word (Vancouver). Oh yeah, go see it before it closes. Super fun for the whole family.
4. New President!
I'm not exactly your go-to girl for up-to-the-minute political news, but, having been raised in a super-political household (My Dad literally went as imaginary superhero "Super-Democrat" to the Halloween party thrown by his Harvard Business School colleagues) and being a person who's pretty fucking passionate about a lot of issues seriously not just how bad the l word is, I'll probs have a lot of opinions about this election thing. Right now I'm thinking I'll probs go with the same strategy I used at U of M when voting for student assembly which was to vote for people I knew and people with ethnic-sounding names, which I think means I'm voting for Barack Obama. Actually, I don't know, honestly. We'll see. Right now Haviland is thinking Hillary and I like to stand with Haviland. But whatevs -- obvs I cannot wait for 2009, when George W. Bush will no longer be president. I can't fucking believe it's lasted this long. It's humiliating.
Maybe this year I'll go the movies like a good little robot. Srsly though; I think movies are a valuable art form, I should spend more time exposing myself to their possibilities 'cause I think that's how creative people get better at what they do is by experiencing other artworks out of their chosen field. Everyone knows this, I could've just told you that I think reading is good for you or that peanut butter is boss. Anyhow, they're turning a lot of books I've enjoyed into movies this year: Peter Jackson's doing The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold) and there's also How To Lose Friends & Alienate People (Toby Young) and Choke (Chuck Pahlinuk). The book's always better than the movie, though, we all know that.
But you know what's gonna be really super awesome for real? Dave Eggers has adapted Where the Wild Things Are for the screen and it's being directed by Spike Jonze with Catherine O'Hare, Jen from Dawson's Creek and Catherine Keener. Automatic brill.
Hey, remember when Angelina Jolie actually did interesting movies? WTF? I used to like her, but now every movie she's in just makes me want to yawn so hard my head falls off.
2. Fun with Automechanics
I feel like the Auto-Empire (I mean that ironically. You know that, right? Like trust me, I'm still feeling like this whole thing is a massive conspiracy and I'll turn out to be a fraud, which's insane because I know I'm not, but also, think (yes, sure, certain) that I am.) is gonna get more funner to the mostest this year. For one, there's the Auto-Merch, which's hot and will become hotter. There's gonna be contests and riese's next top model. Um, also, it'll be really fun when Carly and I get our show on teevee. Also, I plan on increasing my efficiency and therefore I'm seeking for an illegal immigrant interested in working for me for $2/hour or less, plus unlimited ramen noodles and backrubs. If you have a blog, I'll link to you and you'll get 2-3 additional hits a day. JK. I'd never exploit anyone except memememememe.
Anyway where was I? Oh yes: the future. Right-o, looks like it's gonna be a sunshine day. Yeah -- auto-straddle's gonna have more interactive content, we're rollin' with the vlogs and I'll ideally figure out a way to get it done faster sans exploitation. And here, obvs, I will keep writing words here, publishing them on the interweb, and then being like blablabla to everyone about mememememe. Unfortunately, I'm no longer taking ambien, so there won't be as much "w===iS I===o I will have to type tommorw to fic his blog becauer it his very bad norw." Until I can get my hands on some ambien. JK, that one was for you, Mr. Redacted. Also I just got a kickass email from Layla Love, the beautiful & talented woman responsible for the photo that was turned into a graphic for the Auto-Apparel (see photo, right) about future 2008 awesomenessness.
Also, speaking of Alex Vega who designed the auto-apparel, my website's gonna look cooler too. This is one of those things that only matters to me and Haviland so I should stop talking. This is like sitting in on someone writing their to-do list, which's a real snooze.
1. Additional Attention
Some upcoming publications: my R-Family Cruise article in Curve magazine (nearish future) & the "Fucking Around" story in the Dirty Girls anthology (April). Also, still you know, accepting ideas for another Guestbian column, like maybe I could ask myself "What is love?" or "What's love got to do with it?" or "How long 'til my soul gets it right?"
Also, I think just that things are gonna kinda hit an upward trajectory into Awesome super-soon. And if it doesn't, then I guess, you know, I'll just wait for the next joke. I'm ending the June/pre-cruise July recap with the last paragraph of a post I did in June, but maybe I'll just use it here instead. Yes, I'm quoting myself. But I don't think of it as quoting so much as "cut and pasting."
"Sometimes it takes a while for the point to emerge from the madness, but I'm pretty satisfied right now with the possibility at my fingertips, a million unfinished lines shooting out of my nails like Wolverine's claws -- but gentle, hesitant, non-violent and reaching towards attention. I'm blindly groping for what it is we're waiting for, but kinda pretty sure, every now and then, that I can ... and will ... get it?"
Never mind, let's end with David Bowie:
"You're too old to lose it, too young to choose it and the clocks waits so patiently on your song, you walk past a cafe but you don't eat when you've lived too long ... No matter what or who you've been, no matter when or where you've seen all the knives seem to lacerate your brain, I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain, you're not alone." (Rock 'n Roll Suicide)
"Starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us
But he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a Starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it
Cause he knows it's all worthwhile."
(David Bowie, Starman)