Monday, December 31, 2007

VLOG-Year in Review: Don't You Worry There's Still Time

Hey weirdos! Happy New Year! I thought I'd finish six months of the YIR pre-2008, but now it's the 31st, and I'd rather end the year with a post containing less apocalyptic undertones. So, I made a little Year in Review video. You're probs out on the town, causing ruckus and mayhem, and therefore unable to view this fine feature immediately on your sidekicks -- actually I feel like everyone I know is throwing a party. Like, who's gonna be left over to go to the parties if everyone is throwing their own party? Also, what about the band 'The Party'? They were really good. Hey, speaking of parties, you're gonna have a party in your pants when you see the new Autostraddle post about Episode One of Season Five, "LGB Tease," Lamest Godforsaken Bunk Title ever. I may or may not have seen this particular episode (not on ourchart, because I was at Carly's Big Effin Holiday Dinner last night with a bunch of homosexuals on their iphones playing Manhunt), and by that I mean "I may."

So, 2007: yeah, that happened. On a scale of one to ten, though it kept kicking our formidable asses, 2007 did not entirely blow. Bad shit happened, but I think everything's gonna be okay you guys, totally, no worries. So-- thank you. All of you. And those of you I found here, of course: Cait, Tara, Kim, Lozo, Carly, Alex/Semicolon, Stef, Crystal, Rachel, Caitlin, and many many many more. Thanks everyone for reading, and everyone who's emailed or talked to me or Hav or any of us, you know, whomevs. Whomevs you found here and whatevs you found here and also. also. also. I know it sounds cheesy as fuck, but it touches the hell out of me when I learn that something you experienced here helped you feel less alone in the world in some way, somehow. Knowing you were listening has helped me immensely, too. Rock on. I live in Planet Harlem, where people yell at each other really loudly at all hours and most of the time there are 6-8 crazy people standing on the block yelling into megaphones about the klan and Power -- I don't live in Brooklyn where everyone hides their feelings behind bangs and sunglasses that they purchased precisely for the purpose of showing their real feelings, so I'm allowed to say ridiculous gross sentimental things sometimes. 'Cause it could be worse, I could have a flier about it. Bla bla bla. Me. Me. Me. blablatypetypememmeblabalmemeememem. ... and then we emerged, to see the stars again. (thanks)


The Brooklyn Boy said...

On a scale of 1-10, I would do her.

That line, like it's speaker, remains auto-adorable.

Chrissy said...

I know it sounds cheesy as fuck, but it touches the hell out of me when I learn that something you experienced here helped you feel less alone in the world in some way.

Get ready to be touched then.

Seriously, if I hadn't found out about this blog/you/Haviland/her blog, I probably would've done something ridiculous and horrible. Reading the blogs, watching the vlogs(!!!), and talking to Haviland pretty much saved my life. Sound overly dramatic? Oh well. You ladies are slowly but surely helping me figure out who I am, and for that I am eternally fucking grateful. Rock on, and stay safe in '08! Peace out.

it's the jeans said...

rise and haviland i just wanted you to know u'm glad you guys opsted a new vlog. yay for the last one of the year. i'm gonna meiss 2007 a little maybe but oi';m excited for 2008 and i hope you gwoill be too. i'm also excited to nbe in new yor k soon. happy new year to both of year. i hope you get all you wanted. did you make any resolutions/. i'm going me be less wastedful this year and also i want to organzie a comdom driveto send contraceptive to africa. you are beautulful . love this holiday.

Anonymous said...

In before Riese...

^ Above post totes last nominee for comment of 2007.

Chrissy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
caitlinmae said...

I think tonight is prime for reaping of fantastic drunk comments. I offer a pair of Auto-Win underpants to what is decidedly the most incoherent, heartwarming drunk comment of the night, to be determined by a panel of celebrity judges.

Chrissy said...

so i juss relized its odfficially 2008 riht now. happt new yera; riedse! And haviladn and evetyone elses who reads thisd. thhe videeo recapp bvlog was reslly cute. im totslly looking forsward to more videos and piosts from yuo ladies in 08. ans hopefuy the l wo5d too. keep on auito-winng! <3

AK said...

Sorry not a drunken entry. I worked on this all day in my head so I'm delivering it sober because I'm boring.

My Auto-highlights of '07

I find Autostraddle after episode three of season four airs.

Riese wins me over by summoning her diverse international readership to provide a translation of Bette's second signed sentence.

Season four ends and Riese's life takes up the slack.

I attempt to master the nuances of the word totes, whatevs and obs.

Crystal, I think it was, writes dialogue for an imagined cell phone conversation between Vita Sackville West and Virginia Wolfe that has me in stitches all day.

I spend inordinate amounts of time editing the comments I write on Autowin in an effort to appear witty and intelligent.

I wonder if I should talk to a therapist because the gang at Autowin are more interesting than my actual friends.

I start telling Autowin stories to my actual friends and ponder the phenomena of Web 2.0. I ask my childless friends if they know anybody under the age of 30. Most don't. I interview the youngest business colleague I can find (26 yrs old) and ask her how she discovers old movie classics now that all the revival houses are closed. I open an account with Netflix.

The taming of Lozo teaches me something I wouldn't have bothered to learn. I grow inordinately fond of my own male commentators especially on flickr.

I spend quite a lot of time thinking about the financial troubles of the Autowin empire while refusing to solve my own.

Reise lives my worse nightmare of being fired because of her blogging. I try not to wonder if my own blogging is keeping me from getting work.

I offer to mentor a 20 something entrepreneur who thinks I'm really cool for coming to our networking meetings on my Xootr scooter. She drives a yellow Mini Cooper and picks me up from the train station. I tell her about The L Word and Autostraddle. She totally gets why this is an important pairing.

Over the holidays I amuse my friends by introducing them to the phrase "totes mad twat-waddle".

Happy New Year Reise. May '08 be a bit less stressful and more fortuitous.

Anonymous said...

So I was gonna watch your vlog... but then I got high...

Lozo said...

i have not been tamed! riese can't control me! ask her! i'm wild!

The Brooklyn Boy said...

I am the Brooklyn Boy and I am wasteyface. Ah, New Years. Marie, you auto-win at life. For the record. In case you didn't know.

asher said...

trying to start bestdrujnk 08 comment off with a bang. just got done nearly falling over in my bathroom. waht do i have to say? 07, though it may have sucked for you, was quite entertaining. shit this is gonna read badly when it's all for real, but i always feel that thee only reason i have to write is when life is beyond comprehension and well, i assume you've had plenty of that in 07, only can wish you the best in 08 and whatever life has to deliver. you've seen the worst, no? so who knows - maybe only the best can confound and confuse you now. hope so anyway. and i hpoe that this is somewhat legible. i'm actually coheretn enough to correct some typos. and i thought htis erarlier (but my atlantan hipster exterior will allow me now to expreess) that should we meet in person, should i end up in ny, i hopw we will become real life, not just internets, friends.

dewey said...

And thanks you, this blog has been a big part of my 2007 and will probs continue to play a role in 2008.


Haviland Stillwell said...

You are all the biggest weirdos - amidst life saving and true earnestness, half of you are drunkity drunk drunk...which is just, I think, what makes the Auto-family so special...happy new year!

it's the jeans said...

i think so too, haviland. i think so too.

Atherton Bartelby said...

Best Vlog ever.

I just woke up after an evening of celebration to see this video that made me laugh into countless tomorrows. Which is a good thing, considering that the act of laughing makes the bruises on my shins and on the arches of my feet hurt even more when I engage in it.

Wait. That's a good thing?!

Ok end random.

Happy 2008, AutoWin and Haviland and friends!

riese said...

everyone: Does anyone else see these like annoying black lines appearing in the video when you watch it? The actual video itself, when I play it on my computer, doesn't do that, but the uploaded-onto-youtube video does do that. also I can't even get any embedded videos at all to show up on my firefox right now, whyyyy?

bb: Aw!

Chrissy: touched. totes touched, through & through.

it's the jeans: my only resolution is to be more wastedful. I just realised you mean "less wasteful" instead of "less wasted," but either of those words would work just as well, and the potential double meaning is ... well ... brill.

anonymous: Totally.

caitlinmae: HUZZAHUZZAHOLLA. You'll have to send a photo when you get yours .. -)

chrissy: happt new yera to you too!!!!

ak: You could've just replaced a few constants with punctuation and said you were drunk and I would've totally believed you.

It was EL N, I think, who made the Vita/Wolff joke ... the "What are you wearing?" "Knickers and a tie ... you?" that one? I loved that.

I love also that I've inspired you to communicate with people under the age of 30 and sans children. I think Web 2.0 has forced me to communicate with people under the age of Me, and I've discovered that when kids grow up w/the internet, it's a whole different kind of thing, and it's fascinating to me.

Your 20something entreprenuer sounds lovely, I hope to bring her LOLs and further enlightenment.

Happy New Year, Amanda. May 2008 be hands down totes incredible.

anonymous: I was gonna get a job, but then I got high ...

lozo: You are wild! You are so wild! You're so wild! Yeah! More! More! Yeah, wild boy! Let's go!

bb: Wasteyface= brill.

asher: I like that you still conjugated your words properly even while drunk and saying thinks like "bestdrujnk" and for that, wasteyface, we can become real life friends.

dewey: probs? Defo. You will be here in 08. Because 08 is Coming Out Year for dewey, mark my words.

number 8 weirdo: We are special, aren't we? We are so very special.

it's the jeans: word.

atherton: I'm not sure if I want to know how you got bruises on your shins, but I'm guessing that it was fun and probs involved trapeeze. Holla. Happy 2008!

Jo said...

No black lines for me, but there are points where the picture kinda flickers. Still awesome though.

Everytime you blog/vlog I feel less alone in the world.

Happy new year, and all that stuff.

Crystal said...

Happy new year champ, I hope you were able to welcome it in a spectacular fashion. I feel like 2008 will be ace, totally unrivaled.

stef said...

thank you for including NO JENNY NO. it still makes me giggle involuntarily. that's all i have for you today.

word veri: ecxkuxlm, which is drunk for 'exclamation.'

Lozo said...

i'm sensing sarcasm. just wait till i show up to guest-vlog. an untamed beast am i!

Fragolina said...

Another riveting retrospective. And I must second the awesomeness of NO JENNY NO, which may just be the best thing ever, vlog-wise, with "I financed the hell out of this unit" running a close second. Love the accents, Haviland.

And, hey, Dante made it in! Sweet.

Happy New Year!

Chrissy Jacobs said...

So remember that time Haviland went on as Fantine for the first time and I recognized you during intermission. I was all "Um excuse me, are you Riese?" and you were like "...Chrissy, right?"

I was just thinking about how awkward it must have been to have some random girl from MySpace come up to you and start talking to you. Now I'm a part of the Auto-Win family! Hah!

carlytron said...

I would like to say that the amount of Carly in all of your year-end posts/vlog is greatly disproportionate to the amount of Carly in 2007. But hey, I'm not complaining. It's quality, not quantity (right? RIGHT!?)

Um, hey, happy new year! 2007 was both good and bad, with lots and lots of good coming out of some really bad stuff, and lots more awesomeness to come. I love you guys!!

(Riese, it's doing the weird black lines on my computer too)

Anonymous said...

This blog and your recaps have given me sanity at times when I thought there wasn't any to be found. And you have the best teeth of anyone I've ever known... and I'm not even drunk much anymore.

Also, I do not see any black lines... if you see black lines, you're either straight, bisexual... or in denial :)

Katie from Cincinnati

amlisdabomb said...

haviland? riese? beatboxing? thongs? drunkness? alcohol? gold pants? slamming into walls? ...haviland?

does it get much better than that? do you think I can do an entire comment in all questions?

will 2008 top 2007? how many more questions can I randomly come up with? why haven't I commented until now? how do you get your hair so awesome, riese? what's your favorite kelly clarkson album and song?

(okay, obvs that went on for too long. love it. love you. peace, love, and eliza dushku.)


riese said...

Jo: Awesome/awesome. Maybe the screen-flicker is the same thing I'm describing when i say "black lines."

Crystal: The best part of 2008 is that I'll be using words like "ace" straight away, 'cause I already know them, like last year I hadn't yet incorporated it into my lexicon.

stef: No clips vlog is ever complete without NO JENNY NO which I feel, quite solidly, is our best work yet.

Lozo: Lozo always says he's coming and he never does! JK. Did you like your New Jersey music freeze-frame? Let's get back to the topic at hand. At hand. Get it. Um. It's too early for me to be witty.

Fragolina: I'm glad Haviland's accents get the thumbs-up, I remember there being quite a ruckus over her Welshiness. Go Dante!

Chrissy: Really, if I've managed to leave my apartment at all, I'm already feeling slightly awkward, so anything after that is gravy. Oh wait. I like people recognising me though, that's fun. Also, to be perfectly honest ... I was totally trashed. Like -- by the time Fantine said something about seeing her when she woke or whatevs, we were like "pass the vodka."

carlytron: TOTES quality. But that being said, just wait til June, July and all the months following, during which I actually knew you.

Waa! It seems to happen during the scenes that I got from clips imported via the quicktime version of the completed film, but not during the scenes using clips that were still in raw clip format (aka the more recent ones that I hadn't already erased all the original material for). Hm.

So much awesomeness to come. We love you too yay 08 finally awesomeness!

katie: OMG really? My teeth look good on the videos? That's amazing, because in real life my teeth are gross and I talk about wanting new ones all the time. If I (insane) can provide sanity in addition to providing the illusion of good teeth, then I think 2008 might be the year that I learn how to fly! Yippers!

Also; hot hot hot that you don't see black lines. Maybe the video plays better in the midwest? Yeah, totes!

amlisdabomb: You know what I think? All those things together? Doesn't that make the best vlog ever? Will 2008 top 2007? Well, to that question all I have to say is, didn't 2007 suck? Gold pants? You know what I think about Kelly Clarkson? I think her newest album rocks all around, but nothing gets me going quite like the Jason Nevins remix of Because of You, holla, this isn't a question, so I need to find a way to make this sentence into a question real fast, let's see, maybe I can say whatever I want and then put a question mark at the end of it? And? Thanks!

Jess said...

Happy New Year, Riese! I'm so glad 2007 ended with me finding your blog. Going back through the entries completely makes my day. It amazes me that someone can basically make any mundane event sound completely hysterical. You make me feel like it's okay to act like a complete idiot sometimes, and to make mistakes :) I can't wait to see what 2008 brings!

Also, Haviland, since you read these, I'm so sad that I missed your last time being Fantine. I'm sure you'll be a lead in something amazing soon and I'll definitely stop by! Happy new year!

Eileen Taylor said...

吸吮 他妈的 他妈的 吮吸 阴道 他妈的女孩 阴道 吮吸 他妈的