tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257041132024-03-10T05:05:47.001-04:00this girl called automatic winA 26-year old Warlem almost-hipster navigates the rocky roads of her smokin' hot life. This includes post-college ennui, the tipping balance between emotional withdrawal and frightening investment, the 1 train, 10-dollar bottles of "drinkable" Pinot Grigio and the gaping holes in her Chuck Taylors. She'd like to lie more often than she does, because honesty is a real bitch.riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comBlogger490125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-978873609395034492011-09-23T20:48:00.000-04:002011-09-24T05:48:50.536-04:00Look At You, You're Growing Old So Young
"I feel like moving to California would be admitting to myself that somewhere, deep down inside, I actually might want to be happy. I’ve wanted many things in my life; happiness has never been one of them."
- May 6, 2008
I'm happy.
*
Today I turn 30 and today I am going to write a post on this blog.
But it's been ages since I've properly cut open a limb for you, dear blogriesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com59tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-70462503108905211742011-06-30T23:32:00.007-04:002011-06-30T23:59:05.701-04:00I Bet You Wish This Was Actually a New Blog PostIt probably seems like I've completely abandoned this blog which is actually not true! People abandon blogs a lot, I realize, and a 6-7 month absence from one's blog (save one night a few months ago when I put up a blog post, went to sleep, woke up and saw that nobody had commented, had a crisis of confidence, and took it down immediately) would suggest that one has abandoned one's blog forever riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-61512442031567249742010-12-29T01:15:00.034-05:002010-12-30T20:35:33.329-05:00The First Question Will Be: What Were You Thinking?Dear [You],Last week I was walking back from The Y, it was getting colder like it was about to rain and I was listening to depressing music because happy music is so you know, fundamentally dishonest. I was thinking about how it was looking like I’d probably end up spending Christmas alone this year (I did) and how last year I’d planned to spend it alone but Alex made me spend it with her riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-90304468865838802542010-10-12T06:10:00.041-04:002010-10-15T04:53:14.567-04:00that time i took photos, often outside, far away from computersFirst Alex drove me to the airport from New York City after everything got packed all in a hurry.Then I flew to Detroit and my Mom picked me up in the airport and took me back to her apartment which felt familiar and nice even though I'd never been there before.On October 1st Interlochen, my boarding school, was hosting its class of '99 reunion and so my Mom drove me to Kalamazoo and then Ingrid riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-9369550941589265772010-09-24T00:01:00.027-04:002021-05-12T23:36:24.275-04:00What Did You Do Out There. What Did You Decide.[i wrote this on my birthday as a stream of consciousness with whiskey, forgive the occasional incoherence]
The night before I left Michigan for New York City in 2004 I’d rented a room at The Courtyard Inn out by the highway so I could sit on white sheets alone and decide who to be next. Blake* came by and we laid on the bed and looked at each other and I took photos of him with my new riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-378456320783195172010-09-08T03:28:00.018-04:002010-09-10T01:19:51.654-04:00this blog post is 2,836 words long, all the words are true[I think I accidentally wrote this because of Freedom, where Jonathan Franzen manages to make every single detail of every character's life seem necessary just because it was lived and therefore has meaning, but I'm not Jonathan Franzen, so maybe it'll be terrible. But I wrote it, so you know. HERE] I am moving to San Francisco at the end of the month, for abstract and possibly impulsive/riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-76149142014137194822010-08-14T03:11:00.002-04:002010-08-14T17:53:42.120-04:00i wrote this blog post on april 26, 2010 but never published it. i forgot it existed. it seems like such a long time agoSometimes at night I get really scared. Panic angles for space between my lungs. My lungs are pissed off and so the panic sticks out like a shoebox. I bang my head on my desk. Nothing works. I misplaced my tweezers and now my eyebrow is bleeding.I think, I'm scared. I think, there's so much going on. My cheek is on the surface of the desk, like a lot of things: a roll of toilet paper, a lighter, riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-35224379092957600082010-05-26T00:26:00.007-04:002010-05-26T00:41:07.133-04:00things i told livejournal a long time ago: a tumblr you should readi used to keep a livejournal from 2001 until 2006. most of it is private and also impossible to find on the internet. two days ago me and laneia decided it would be a good idea to republish excerpts from my livejournal onto a tumblr blog called "things i told livejournal a long time ago." if you want to read it. i will probably be done with it within the next day or so. we just felt like it was ariesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-65044103052851682212010-05-03T00:01:00.007-04:002010-05-03T01:59:42.796-04:00and the heart says write a fucking post in autowin, like now!I've spent most of the weekend reading. Not books or anything important like that really. Well, I did read an essay from Zadie Smith's book Changing my Mind called "The New Direction of the Novel" and I did re-read Emily Gould's And the Heart Says Whatever; or at least my favorite pieces of it.It comes out May 4th but she sent me a galley in January (I think) so I ate it in January. Since the riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-65373768299512925322010-02-22T22:38:00.008-05:002010-02-26T02:21:30.143-05:00Flowers in My HairI want to have a room that looks like this, in Berkeley:Dear blog, I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten you. Quite the contrary! I have a post for you already written in my head. It has stories about this story!!! I told the whole thing to my therapist, and I said, I just can't believe that was me, like who was I, but she was still laughing, and she said, you were eighteenDon't talkriesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-16658811253165310982010-01-01T21:14:00.004-05:002015-03-15T13:15:34.734-04:00Are You #10Years Ago?this is still a rough draft
THE TOPIC IS #10YEARSAGO. I will be adding year by year throughout New Year's Day, working up 'til today.
1999: Ann Arbor, Michigan
Ten years ago: On New Years Eve 1999 I was in Michigan, staying at my Mom's house. I'd just completed my first semester at Sarah Lawrence and was preparing to move to Manhattan in January because I knew if I didn't do that I would maybe riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-75062931162879419282009-11-26T22:47:00.012-05:002009-11-27T02:22:45.685-05:00I Fill Those Spaces With My LiesOn the Sweet Cruise during the first week of November I slept. I slept a lot, I slept on a hammock in Cozumel in the shade for ten minutes and in our bed at four pm or maybe later, or maybe earlier, and I slept on the pool deck at all hours, internationally. I slept sandwiched between two and I slept with limbs sprawled; alone. I slept while you spoke, I slept while I spoke. I slept on the riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-8628620754334494862009-10-16T18:59:00.002-04:002009-10-16T19:07:18.696-04:00We Went to the National Equality March and Brought You a VideoHi! I do this website Autostraddle? And we had a pretty amazing redesign, it went up a few weeks ago and though we're still ironing it out, you should go check it out! I AM SHOWING YOU MY SOUL GO LOOK AT IT!Also I come bearing video! Haviland & I did a vlog which I haven't had time to edit yet, but we also made a National Equality March Video and a National Equality March PRE-Video. So you riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-74037934398388882832009-09-29T06:09:00.018-04:002024-02-03T17:03:19.601-05:00What Happened Last September (and so I say to you, this is what I have to do)On Christmas of 2008, Olive picked me up from the airport and drove the both of us to my apartment. My roommates were out of town. I'd just written this on the airplane from Ohio to New York, which I'd finish later that night after Olive went home. She brought me champagne even though she said she couldn't drink any because of her medication. She wasn't taking any medication. We sat on riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-7255958837076478492009-09-11T22:49:00.009-04:002009-09-12T12:54:03.547-04:00Here's The Post Where I Finish Answering Your 192 QuestionsForever ago I asked you to ask me questions and you did and I answered a whole bunch of them but not all of them. The comments are open this time in case you have any feelings you want to share. We feel our feelings, you know? True story. Feel the warm. Share your feelings.I have been working on an actual blog post, about last year. It's annoying b/c I have to figure out how to stop being so riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-49190538774160090042009-08-21T23:48:00.001-04:002009-08-22T00:43:41.772-04:00this blog post has been created to answer questions from the comments of my last blog postI wrote a blog post and said to ask questions in The Comments and now I have created this blog post where I will answer every question that you asked me in The Comments/Commons from the 'other blog post.' This blog post has its comments 'turned off' to encourage you to go to the other blog post if you want to 'comment' or 'ask a question.' Also I will be honest.1. from cycnet: What weakness riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-51782078440405140222009-07-30T14:39:00.006-04:002009-07-30T19:35:47.836-04:00Haviland Answers Your Questions Too!hello inquisitors! i will continue to answer all of your questions that you asked me (and are continuing to ask me) here on this blog post here! I think I have like 50 more to go? I tend to make progress the most late at night/while intoxicated. Anyhow in the meantime, Haviland accepted your questions and here they are, with her lovely lovely answers!---Thank you so much for writing in, baby riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-1367496412963480132009-07-27T19:08:00.006-04:002009-07-27T23:35:17.126-04:00I Want Directions, Helpful HInts and Also. Also. Also I have a Tumblr now.What should I write a blog post about? Write a comment and ask me a question. Then I will answer your questions in 'another blog post.' I realize by 'asking you to ask me questions' I am acting like 'someone who thinks they are important' or 'someone who has 'answers.'' I'm not, I'm just 'someone who isn't sure about stuff' but 'doesn't want to feel bad for' 'never blogging.'Hopefully someone riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com192tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-80925750237365954082009-07-02T00:00:00.005-04:002015-03-15T13:17:41.392-04:00Relief Next to Me or "Sorry I’m just revisiting this now."
I am not sure if all of these sentences have periods at the end of them or if the words are correct but maybe an intern could copyedit it for me jk no but srsly.
I just had a really incredible weekend. And I was excited for it. I'm still excited & charmed by the web of cyber-intern-love we've woven. The context was ideal because the point -- really, truly the point -- of autowin -- was to riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-84737250209325383182009-06-16T09:45:00.000-04:002009-06-16T10:46:02.345-04:00Time to Auto-Win Some -- Happy Birthday Lewis!Hi blog! How are you? It's my brother Lewis's birthday. It's also Bloomsday, a holiday for smart people who can read a lot of words at once. I can't believe it's been a whole year since the last time it was Lewis's birthday. I'm not 100% sure how old he is, but I'd guess he's not a day over 13. I mean ... he's um, must be about 25. He's growing into quite a man, he is very tall, much taller than riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-12287020207515521442009-05-31T02:19:00.010-04:002015-03-15T13:19:05.571-04:00New Years Revolutions: Time Can Never Kill the True HeartOn December 30th, 2008, I wrote a post that I was going to post on New Year's Day, but I never did because I decided it was too personal in parts, or that I wasn't sure it was stuff I wanted to really say. I think I had a lot of weird situations I was navigating then. Well, I've always had weird situations to navigate, at least since starting autowin and until about a few months ago. I'm not riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-90931273107419178102009-05-14T12:42:00.013-04:002015-03-15T13:21:01.621-04:00Are You There Blog? It's Me, Autowin!
+ We had a team meeting tonight. Like a real one where real things happened!
+ For most of last year I'd wake up and for the first hour of every morning it'd be this game of detective trying to figure out what I'd done the last hour of the night before. What I'd written (the typos! what a laugh! how silly I was!) and to whom. Glasses and ashes and lots of open tabs.
It was like the opposite ofriesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-64015815373448952722009-05-06T02:19:00.005-04:002015-03-15T13:28:09.884-04:00Autofun 5.6 - But This is How the Revolution BeginsWow, so. Life! Geez! What a trip! I mean it! Every minute is so much! Well, in any event, I wanted to touch base. I used to hate that phrase and I told my Mom she wasn't allowed to use it. I also hated it when she referred to my female friends as my "girlfriends." In retrospect, tht may've been partially due to my secret yearnings to make these ladies into my girlfriends, but actually no, it riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-56418103324494548952009-04-27T16:33:00.003-04:002015-03-15T13:38:12.322-04:00Stuff I've Been Reading: All The Time Between Then and Now
I haven't done a Stuff I've Been Reading since December, when I covered what I'd read in August-->October. I'm no Nick Hornby, that's for sure! So this time it'll be:
November
December
January
February
March
Some of April
Oh boy!
If you've ever felt jealous of how much I read, this six-month period will quell your envy.
Howevs, it's occurred to me that since I read a ton of stuff online riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25704113.post-52908528704856421062009-04-17T22:10:00.011-04:002009-04-17T23:50:28.709-04:00This Girl is 12, She Called Automatic Rhyme, I'm Emo, Maybe 12 or 13 and I'm FineInsomnia Poem #500There's no-one to [redact]It was just an actNot mine -- I'm finewe missed all the signs,always pushing my loveunder your Borderline'Cause I thought I knew the distancebetween reason and rhymebut really you were lyingall that timeSo I'm angry, but I'm fineNo gun, I'm stunned, no crime.Sometimes I wonder who you really areSometimes I wonder why you never fixed your carWhile you riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com23