Monday, January 28, 2008

Don't Know The Reason, VLOGged Here All Season

Well, we're back in New York City, and it sure is cold (also, boy are my arms tired!). I'm still in denial that we're no longer in Key Bisquane, which's one of many reasons I've yet to unpack. The other reasons include being very busy.

I hope you're ready to set aside approximately six minutes and thirty seconds to have your world rocked to the core by the first installment of the video blog we made in our hotel room at about 2 A.M. last week sometime. If you've ever dated a 16-year-old boy, you're probs familiar with that kind of experience. That's the kind of sentence that someone may suggest I delete if I ever want to be a successful human being.

There'll be a Tuesday Top Eight/Sunday Top Ten/Wednesday Top Wow dropping in your universe shortly. Also, I got a tattoo on my wrist, more on that later.

This video includes the following topics: leaving myspace (again), vacation/Miami, the Allegory of the Cave, the nineties, and this really funny thing that happened when we went to the elevator. If you look at the reflections in the sliding glass door, you can see Semicolon/Alex and Cait vibrating with laughter and amusement.

A soundtrack listing can be found here at Auto-Universe,. along with the soundtracks for Vlogs 13, 14, 15 and 16!


Bridget said...

jig it out! --- that is totally what i'm calling my new gay irish dance troop (gay women obvs all the lads in irish dance are already out and proud!)

first comment ya'll!

brilliant and hysterical as per always.

eric mathew said...

you ladies...loving it. the trip looked hella fun.

i'm saying we should all get a sitcom. you and hav can play roomates ala phoebe and monica. i can be the overly flamboyant and sometimes bitter neighbor down the hall. you know we can meet at a central perk-esq type place. im saying logo will eat this shit up.

all i'm saying.

chrissy said...

I'm glad the first thing that popped into my head when the party of one thing came up was "party of five" before Haviland even said it.

I'm no longer allowed to consume food or beverages while watching these vlogs, they make me laugh and then I choke, like I just did on my pink cupcake.

I love saying "Jig it out!" now.

Lozo said...

so many thoughts.

i once saw a video called jig it up. it was on

if i was haviland, i'd google myself all day.

i'm so sick of all your feelings, mainly because i spend 74 percent of my day on facebook.

stop projecting onto myspace.

i like keith olbermann, too.

i enjoyed how hilarious haviland thought her party of five joke was.


i really hope i get to vlog soon, because between my Brock Lovemuscle script and working on my impressions of riese, haviland, semicolon and stef, i think i'm really going to dominate.

jenn said...

hay im not going to woffle this time,
just guna say what a piss funny blog i loved it ladies!
by the were u not being polite about my lingo? im hurt...ish i think????
gay irish dancing troop yayyay
loving the autobeaters n thanks for the close up honey?!

Jaime said...

I don't know how these things are so entertaining! But they are! Welcome back to the cold.

My word verification says "Visual verification." I have a feeling that's not gonna work...

jen said...

see when i dont woffle i forget things...........
10oz of what????
second thoght giggles are the bestest!!
and because i was worrying about woffling i missed lots of random fecking words out??
still a FUNNY vlog end of.

Jo said...

Welcome back to the arctic circle!

Wicked excited to see the tattoo. I've thought about getting a wrist tattoo, but I have so many feelings, and I'm afraid someday those feelings will go away, and I'll have feelings of regret.

Those parenthesis in the first paragraph have a beginning but no end. fyi.

Crystal said...

Elevators give me a lot of feelings too. Just like your myspace deletion gave me feelings. On one hand, I totally get it. On the other, I'll miss that warm and fuzzy feeling of being one of your Top-whatever Friends.

I too am excited re: your new wrist tattoo. I dig them, particularly meaningful ones.

stef said...

hiii, i'm drunk, although not as drunk as alex vega, and i've only watched half of this vlog. whatever. hiiiii!

ok i watched it all now, and you made me want to winehouse forever. your soundtracks are getting a lot better. the party gets more crazy as the night gets darker and i'm out with my girls like sarah jessica parker, summer never ends, etc etc.

i have problems thinking in anything that isn't lyrics.
god help the mister, yeah god help the mister that comes between me and my sisters.
pete doherty

caittttttt said...

ohhhh everyone is so tan. the music in this one is kind of amazing, you may have a future in editing fo reals. also the lead up to this vlog was awesomeeee and i so wish you had that footage.


Adam said...

Hav, it's over.

I'm sorry...I know I'm a real jerk for breaking up with you on the internet in public like this...but I just can't be with someone who hates the allegory of the cave.

Thanks for the memories.



a;ex said...

Yes!! You used the Le Tigre song!
You're officially hip, and I'm officially sober.

Also, this vlog is hands down totes the best.

and the story about the woman in the elevator still tops the charts.
Speaking of topping...

stef said...

addendum: i don't know what kind of cocaine you've been doing, but yeah, it's supposed to make you feel really good about the world.
myspace is more like... i have no idea, like pharmaceuticals you steal from your grandma's medicine cabinet. you don't really feel good about it, but there it is.

Liz said...

yes it was brilliant.
yes i laughed.
why am i even watching your vlog?! I must
a) be terribly bored. so bored that not even making chocolate cream pie could unbore me
b)have no life. a very likely suggestion.
c)trying to forget the hard working life i am leading and return to my happy place.

facebook is overrated. i dont want to know my stripper name and i dont want to sell my friends.

riese said...

bridget - I'm honoured to participate in the naming of your new gay Irish dance troop.

eric matthew - that sitcom idea is perfect, it's like friends meets will and grace, obvs I'll be phoebe.

chrissy- i hope you didn't lose the cupcake altogether and were able to enjoy some of it.

lozo - what were you doing on

jenn - i was being polite, i think, or at least genuine and kind. it's just a funny word for people to describe me with. What does "woffle" mean? I feel I could learn a lot of new words from you.

Jaime - they're entertaining because we are supreme beings.

jen - 10 oz of coca-cola, obvs.

Jo - I LOL'ed at your correction of my parenthetical mishap, and fixed it immediately. I found drinking helped me to share my feelings on my wrist.

Crystal - Next time you need that fuzzy feeling, try facebook! I'm pretty sure my tattoo is only slightly more confusing than your mathematical foruma.

stef - i just want to state for the record that i'm auto-endeared to anyone signing their comments as someone else. xoxo gossip girl.

caitttt - i wish i had that footage of the woman walking out of the elevator, i feel like no one is really aware what they are missing.

Adam - you're writing to Haviland, not me, but I'd feel bad if I skipped over a comment. Clearly there's nothing for me to say on this topic as I'm a fan of all Allegories, particularly the allegory of the cave. Also, fyi, we were talking about it because I was talking about this esquire essay (The Ticking is the Bomb_ I'd linked to, I feel it's possible I could convince you to read it, which'd make you the third person I've convinced to read it that I know of (all and all, not particularly impressive.)

a;ex - See, now you and Stef have both learned that the best way to get hipster music onto the vlogs is to make me mix CDs, obvs. (also, way to bring it back around, semicolon!)

stef - The kind I'm familiar with makes you feel really good for about 20 minutes and then lets you down hard unless you get more, and more and more. But your analogy is better, obvs. Last time I checked out my grandma's medicine cabinet, I was disappointed, as they seem to have acquired ailments less fun than anxiety or pain (emotional or physical) that require treatments.

liz - you are watching this vlog because you are awesome, it is awesome, and it is hilarious. I'm selling Haviland, if anyone's interested.

jenn said...

id like to place a bid on haviland please il give u £50 erm thats $1.000.000 american??????????
il just pop to the cash machine i think they do dollas?! if not will 1p coins do? iv been saving??
woffle means what i just did... all i wanted to do was bid on ur lady friend but i kind of went off on a tangent and had to add all the other crap(like im doing now oh god sombody stop me now)
u know when someone is telling u a story that they think is piss flap funny but they see that u aint finding it that funny so they just keep on woffleing in the vain hope they get a slight giggle?! god riese i asked u to stop me....look what u have done now!
do u see what i did there? did ya? i only went n bloody woffled.

erm ye it just means chatting crap!
any other new bighty twang u want i promise u i will not woffle it?!
well i'l try
tera jenna

jenn said...

wow wow wow what the shit? how come sometimes theres a pic of me when i post n then others im a sodding leggo head man?
this post thing is pic-ist or leggo-ist? booooo

Goldstardyke said...

I totally wrote letters with my blood in the nineties!!!

djenn16 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JD said...

Hey Riese your blog is rad. Lets hear about your tatt. Did you go to Miami Ink?? I have always wanted a star tattoo on my wrist.

2log said...

Furious props for the Jimmy Buffett reference!