When this masterpiece of graphic design arrived in my inbox, I LOLed till I actually exploded and died: the pseudo-firestarter shadow girls, the edginess photoshopped into Hav's typically guileless appearance, the language of the contest itself, the endgame-aesthetics. I mean: !!!! Look at that thing! That's the most amazing invitation to anything, ever.
Obvs Hav is fit. She climbs the barricades to sing the song of every men because is the music of the people who will not be slaves again, which is much harder on one's back than the Stairmaster. She's likely the fittest broad on Broadway. Secretly she's not that hip because she won't let me get skinny jeans. She says it's for my own benefit, but I wanna be cool too, like the kats in W'burg, where I no longer live, because I'm old now, and prefer to eat ice cream with my girlfriend in an uptown villa. [villa=teeny tiny apartment]
Re: Hip....well, speaking of neighborhoods, Hav's is not hip. Like Lower Midtown or something? Things you can't buy in Hav's hood past 11 p.m include: a vodka-tonic, a cappucino, groceries, a book. [Really anything but McDonalds and Adult DVDs] But the locale's perfect for her super-hip actressing job. Hav herself is quite hip, but; this being NYC and all....on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give her a "5" which means "not exactly Dash Snow, but not your Mom, either."
Regardless, she's hipper and fitter than all those other bitches, whoever they are.
(that's Hav, Karen and Christine, in Nyack: respite from the MTA)
HAVILAND STILLWELL THE HIPPEST AND FITTEST LESBIAN becuz she IS
HAVILAND STILLWELL THE HIPPEST AND FITTEST LESBIAN becuz she surrounds
herself with the hottest lesbians in the world
HAVILAND STILLWELL THE HIPPEST AND FITTEST LESBIAN becuz she is
friends with the hottest lesbians in the world
HAVILAND STILLWELL THE HIPPEST AND FITTEST LESBIAN becuz she she can
melt a glacier with one look with her emerald eyes with one glance from
emerald eyes thru mink eyelashes
HAVILAND STILLWELL THE HIPPEST AND FITTEST LESBIAN becuz she fits into
any crowd and makes smiles
THIS coming from an UNhip and UNfit old dyke
"I knew Haviland in High School, and even then, she was the hippest girl in school, never one to compromise herself for others. I hope she wins!!" (Rachel)
(True dat, Rachel. I was like "Haviland, just get me some crack rock from the corner," and she was like "No, Riese, I will not compromise myself for others." I was so pissed! Also, though, totes impressed. So I got my own crack, and then she wouldn't smoke it with me, and I was like "compromise THIS, bitch!" and lit her hair on fire, took a photo of it, and tripled it on photoshop and transformed it into a bizarre promotional postcard. That's why it looks "cracked out.")
well, i speak for the majority of men and women across the seven continents when i say that HPS is CLEARLY hotter than the gates of hell ... end of story ...
BUT .... more importantly -- if you wanna discuss an AUTOMATIC WIN for this hip and fit hottie, the contest should obvs be re-named "THE HIPPEST AND FITTEST AND MOST EDUCATED, POLITICALLY AWARE, AND RIDICULOUSLY TALENTED LESBIAN IN NYC".
I obviously don't need to say more. We all know. Yah. We know."
Then I drink more.
tb: "Are you one of those girls that only dances when she's drunk?"
me: "Um ... really?"
tb: "Are you?"
me: "I mean, do you mean that proverbially? Because like...yeah. Totes. I seriously only dance when I'm drunk. Or alone. In my room. Or in the shower. I dance alone probably like, 2 hours a day. But in public: only when drunk."
That being said, rumor has it that sober dancers have superior coordination talents. This'll work to her advantage.
k first of all, Haviland is hott.
for many reasons. the most important being that her love for Helena evenly matches mine. and wait, she started the GSA??? i have this great idea where Havi runs for president and i'm her "political advisor" hint hint nudge nudge k ill stop now...and umm... there is no 'second' part to this. sorry. haha.
Because she might be the only contestant who rocks the irony. I mean, she's totes doing Lucky Star, you know?