The End of the Week from Hell: I Got Everything That a Girl Could Want, I Got All I Could Ever Ask For

Sunday morning was the beginning of the week-long Spaz-a-Thon. Here is my story, in pictures.

I wake up on Sunday morning and ask myself:

So I decide to go back to the laundromat, where I last saw
my beloved driver's license.

He doesn't have it. Then I realize I will be sailing international waters in a week and I have no ID and not even a passport and then I start to really freak out.

So I hit the web. It turns out Canada is not the Canada it once was. Canada wants my passport, and Canada doesn't care how nice I am. I mean, I clearly am soooo not a terrorist. Look at me! I'm BLONDE! And CUTE!

After realizing I will not receive a driver's license in time for the trip, I begin to
investigate the passport-acquisition process. This is not so easy.

I really start to freak out on Monday night. I continue freaking out for about 24 hours, until I find the nice people at abriggs. They can get me what I need, she says. There's only one little problem:

But I get my papers in order and head over to the "authorizing agent" at the post office, feeling nervous and panicy and I know it's all worth it because:

But--~!!!! I need a witness. Yeah. 'Cause I don't have a license, they want like, someone to testify that they know me and that I'm not like, trying to escape G.W.Bush or like, blow shit up. Which clearly I'm not. I just want to go whale-watching and frolic in the forest lushlands with Haviland!!!

So I wake up at 6:30 AM (totally haven't woken up that early since like, HIGH SCHOOL) and meet Cameron there in the morning.
"I did it because I knew if you didn't get this taken care of, I'd have to listen to you talk about it all day at work. Being your witness was much less painful."
TRUE DAT. But seriously, Cameron saved my ass. She's the best agent EVER.

I shipped it out. Thursday morning I wake up and see that the $120 shipping charge doesn't actually guarantee the actual shipping of your actual goddamn item on the actual time you actually fucking paid for them to fucking bring it there, bitches!!!

But they say they will proccess it on Friday.
I wake up, check the abriggs passport site, and see it is done.

Then, at about 6:30pm, the most patient nice lady in Ohio ever emails me to give me my tracking number. FedEx is bringing my passport tomorrow. And it's gonna be so fucking foxy, y'all will just DIE!