Tuesday, April 18, 2006

You're Working on Building a Mystery: The Week "Weird/Of Course" Was Born

So, I'm usually not into things like nature and the solar system, unless it involves making out under the stars, or something. Just kidding. I'm one of those people who would start laughing and ruin the moment. ["Marie, you really have a way of ruining a moment." --Matty, during a beautiful moment that I ruined.], but something is in the fucking stars, people.

You come out at night, that's when the energy comes

Um, but first of all? This's Lo's photo of the sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth, and that's Adam's thumb up Brit's ass. I think this's why I live in Williamsburg, to get a phone call from around the corner: "You've gotta come check this out!"



She told him later: Don't call me and ask me to look out the window. That's a little freaky, you know.

But it was the full moon. That does weird things to everyone.

This is It's a Small World, multiplied by Google Plex, complimented by a bit of Crazy.

But I don't have a hold on what is real

I've never googled Ryan before. I'm fairly certain that the skin of his palms composes a significant portion of the surface area preventing my heart from bursting into air, so the idea that he existed in "cyberspace" never really seemed proper. But, at 3 A.M. on Friday, following several hours of google searching for things I actually needed, I was somehow compelled to google him and, surprisingly, found a photo, and then, even odder: five hours later, he emails me.

You strip away the ugliness that surrounds me ...

And then, John, a high school boyf.....

[Who I thought of often recently because I have a new friend Haviland who also acts and also lived in Atlanta and also did theater there......

who, coincidentally, was NYU and post-NYU roommates with another Interlochen grad,
and grew up in the same area as this girl Lucy, who also attended Interlochen,
and last year I ran into Lucy twice within 24 hours ... never before, never again ... which was weird in and of itself, especially since one of those times I was in Sarabeth's, and Natalie and I were hungover and in baseball caps and she was engaged and groomed and wearing pastels.....]

... calls later this same night, after not calling for 6 months.

memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

Another friend from Atlanta who I haven't spoken to in probably a year IMs me out of the blue while I'm talking to Haviland on IM.

On the subway, Lo and I end up sitting right behind the ass of the most appreciated and worshiped girl at my high school. Kim. She was a senior when we were juniors. We all would've gone gay for her, and some of us did. She often returned the favor.

She was brilliant; writer, artist, singer/songwriter/thing.
I couldn't move really.

and you were so beautiful, with an edge and a charm ...

The day before this, I saw Callie dash into the train, going in the opposite direction--
I see her sit down with her Bluestockings bag.
and the train rolls away before she sees me.

When all we wanted was the dream
to have and to hold that precious little thing
Two days ago, Lo did a tap-dance for me to a Sarah McLachlan song, "Witness," and we talked afterwards about how I never really realized that McLachlan intentionally used religious imagery [I remember now though that Ryan and I had discussed it once, on Easter, which I've only really celebrated once, with Ryan.]

Then on AIM today Haviland mentions SarahMcL and how much she likes her, as do I,
after I've spent the whole post-dance day getting back into SaMcL,
and then the iTunes radio station I listen to (which's classic rock mostly),
suddenly busts out into a SaMcL SONG,
after playing two straight hours of nothing but man-anchored classic rock.

Will the change come while we're waiting
or are we still waiting ...

Speaking of songs, and of Lo, she started singing this song that we [my father, Lewis and I] used to sing at basketball games, but that my Dad used to sing all the time around the house: "Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey Goodbye," [I don't know where it's from or anything, it is what it is], while I'm on the phone...

with my mother.....

who I only talk to like, once a week at most, so it's not that common,
and Lo has no clue how the song came into her head or why she started singing it.

I told my Mom it was a ghost and she made fun of me and then said: Do you think he is with you?

Yeah, I said. I think he might be here.

i miss the little things
i miss everything
about you

But wait. It gets better.

Last night, Haviland and I are walking back from her friend's place in the East Village. I see assorted junk on the ground and I comment: "Haviland, you've gotta stop leaving all your stuff on the street ..." but then we approach the pile and we see ...


"A Night So Long." It's just sitting there on the street. On the street corner. Dionne Warwick, in a fur coat, beckoning us with a night so so soooo long. Really, really, really. In quite mint condition, too.

Yeah, really.

Seriously, like, what?!!

This is especially funny because we'd talked about her in one of our first conversations ever. At which point, I died laughing. LMLO. [laughed my life off]

I believe this is heaven for no one else but me ...


Lizzie said...

hey, it's Lizzie...I love

marie lyn bernard said...

LIZZIEEEEEE...you love what? Oh, so glad you are following me here, dear!

Mercury said...
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