what we write about when we write electron blue & 8against8 contest results

[picture = barnaby ward]

[Results of the 8 against 8 contest in a video at the end of the post, for SON recap click HERE.]

So anyhow, back to memememe and my feelings. Much like the Dow Jones Industrial Whatzit, my feelings go up and down. Not that I understand, even abstractly, what the eff the Dow Jones actually IS, but my feelings about feelings are perhaps also quite conceptual -- they've got something to do with chemicals or the imbalance thereof, they fluctuate hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute, and are subject to massive drops and/or gigantic sky-charging leaps at any unexpected juncture.

Some humans choose to regulate these involuntary emotional fluctuations via the drink or the blow but ultimately these things kill you and/or ruin your life [and consequently lead you to Intervention, the best/worst show of all time]. So in lieu of smoking or xanaxing ourselves into rock bottom, we do the next best thing to get us through today which is making BIG plans for tomorrow! And what better time to make big plans for tomorrow than RIGHT NOW, this amazing moment in our nation's history when we've been assured & reassured that today is not gonna rock at all whatsoever.

So I've had a few ideas. I have these ideas all over the place, who knows where ideas come from, they just appear. I jot them down in my notebook. I have about 5-10 notebooks. Tomorrow I will get organized and consolodate my thoughts into less notebooks, obvs. (no I won't! i never will!)


In the interest of sharing with the group, I have transcribed below my collected notes more or less. one item is re-written from one page with variations, you'll see what I mean.

Autowin's Colossal Notes on Life:

- Ppl will return to roots, live in trees, etc., grow vegetables in the garden. will unite humanity, hope = seeds/soil.
humans not intended for such evolved desire, intended to hunt and gather (boring?) (what did artists do?)

- I should do national novel writing month i mean why not.
must totally restructure life, take self seriously
make schedule stick to it
SERIOUSLY

- unified by collective lack-of-wealth
a lot of sales at american eagle

- eventually things will become cheaper, like vacation
books, love

-things that give me hope: The West Wing, raspberries (raspberries are perfect - right? they are the perfect berry. if we can grow raspberries, we can do hope too)

- i totes heart rock bottom, it's where we finally meat each other

- universal problems --> universal understanding --> revolution?

- why do we always have to be the ones to move? why can't the republicans move ? where? they need a country (alaska? if rachel moves to nyc?)

- things that give me hope: The West Wing, raspberries, the cruise, poetry

- 1998: smoking w/krista in motel, reading southern lit out loud, coffee, cigarettes, pancakes, fudge, listening to ani like we meant it.
-2008: guitars seem too earnest

- the past keeps getting farther away, chronologically,
but closer and closer, emotionally, maybe i should've paid attention at the time

-things that give me hope: The West Wing, raspberries, the cruise, poetry, the fact that after all these years i still think ani difranco probs said it best, dancing, toast

-eyebrow wax has been on my todo list like every day

-why do i have so many friends who think that i have too many thoughts per day? they should try to keep up! we can have a race like odyssey of the mind.

-ladies and gentleman, the fabulous stain removers

--things that give me hope: The West Wing, raspberries, the cruise, poetry, the fact that after all these years i still think ani difranco probs said it best, dancing, toast, obama, perfect pens

-writers should go on strike -- no more writing for free
then what will everyone read?
perez?
i mean REAL WORDS

-goal: make new room represent a more organized, streamlined mentality

-find projects to pursue & use the pieces as blog posts -- see my drafts, give feedback. and "professional" feedback?

-i just need to write a novel next month. that will make everything better.

--things that give me hope: The West Wing, raspberries, the cruise, poetry, the fact that after all these years i still think ani difranco probs said it best, dancing, toast, obama, perfect pens, perfect books, purposeful pointlessness, alliteration.

++
It's hard to focus on more than what's in front of you
Electron Blue
Tomorrow's gaining speed on you
It's all you want to do, you,
You know where to run
You run Electron Blue

(R.E.M., Electron Blue)
++

Who won that 8against8 contest? Well, everyone who sent a photo or forwarded me proof of their donation to Equality California was entered in a drawing, which was held this afternoon at approximately 3:45 P.M., in my apartment [a.k.a. Haviland's apartment that I'm staying in for one more day] while A;ex should've been working, but needed to swing by to get this bright blue headband I'd borrowed. Very important. Then I made her do this.

Prizes:
1. Best of "Good Dyke Porn" DVD, courtesy of Bren, who donated it to the cause! There's a hot photo to the left of my window now 'cause I opened her window in a new window. That's the magic of Firefox and eyesight.
2. (2) copies of The L Word Season Five DVD Set. [I'll be giving away more copies soon, with a full promotion/contest thing]
3. (2) copies of Auto-Insomnia 'Zine #1.

Here we are, let's see who the big winners are. Unfortunately no stuffed animals or small children won prizes, then I could've gift-wrapped. Email me with your address if you've won and I will mail it to you sometime in the near future probably.

auto-fun is so yesterday. if not, it's so 9-3-2008

[juliana neufeld]insomnia poem #12:

somewhere between box five and last year
someone asked me what i wanted
i said "nothing," she didn't believe me.
"my brain's ambitious, my soul's the emcee,
you scream, i scream, we all up and leave,
i don't know much but i know no fall is free"

'cause the thing about living nowhere
is i could live anywhere
like guam, or vermont, or your futon
no one ever says "what a comfortable futon."
no one ever calls the futon
and if someone did
they wouldn't leave a message

the art of losing is
impossible to master

so many possibilities, water water everywhere
and not a drop to think
the choice is act or drink

when i was 18 i drank amaretto sours.
now: more vodka, gasping liquid power
i call futon, i call futile, i call future,
and yesterday is a bright red cherry
that shimmers like backlighting, that

delicious

berry

---

quote: "That had been in Agnes's mishmash decade, after college. She had lived improvisationaly then, getting this job or that, in restaurants or offices, taking a class or two, not thinking too far ahead, negotiating the precariousness and subway flux and scrimping for an occasional manicure or a play. Such a life required much exaggerated self-esteem. It engaged gross quantities of hope and despair and set them wildly side by side, like a Third World country of the heart." (Lorrie Moore, Agnes of Iowa)

---

links:
0. all about the most annoying people in the city: you can't escape the canvasser's pitch. One "dialoguer" notes that though they are annoying, "I think Martin Luther King was probably a bit annoying."(@village voice)
1. obama and the closing of the american dream. (@n+1)
2. william faulkner reviews season one of Gossip Girl (@mcsweeny's)
3. Sarah Benincasa does the Sarah Palin Vlog (@paper mag) -- more Sarah Palin vlogs at her YouTube Channel. "I'm just tryin' to keep you current!"
4. You're Rich, You Still Have Time To Read! (@adage)
5. Micheal Jackson at 50: A 50-Photo Retrospective (@rollingstone)
6. William Faulkner Reviews Season One of Gossip Girl (@mcsweeny's)
7. Digital Memories Can Be Fleeting: "No transgression goes undocumented, no inebriation goes unpublicized and no child goes un-camcorded." (@globe & mail canada)
8. Kay Ryan: Crocodile Tears (@poetry magazine)
9. Untitled Artist Feature #2: Me! Green interviews memememee about the 'zine, art, tinkerbell, the meaning of life, the story behind that gold paper, etc. So brill it needs a whole new word for brill. (@sloganx)
10. Hot Blogger Calendar Contest: clearly I had to really start from the ground up to win this thing, 'cause all the other contestants except AV have at least one baby. You know what that means -- one baby goes to school or the sandbox or wherever it is that parents keep their babies these days, and then the baby says to all the other babies, "Hey, vote for my Mom or I'll throw a lego ship at your head," and then basically you've got all of K-5 plugging for you. My advantage? Well, my readers know something they don't teach you in kindergarten: how to "use" computers. And that, my dear friends and ex-lovers, is why I won second place! I'm good at second place. I'm not sure what happens next, all I know is that I want September so I can do a Britney Spears inspired "back to school" shoot. (@hot-blogger calendar contest)
11. Stef's Cartoon Recap of Moving Riese out of her apartment. Like most of Stef's cartoon recaps, I come across as slightly insane, although this time I'm more Elizabeth Wurtzel than Homicidal Maniac, which's, you know, sweet. (@big-exit)
12. Fiction: Face by Alice Munro (@the new yorker)
13. "To us, breaking up over IM made a certain amount of sense — as two people with desk jobs that required long hours, a good chunk of our couplehood had resided in the realm of instant messaging": With IM, I turned my boyfriend into an on-call therapist (@nerve.com)
14. Born in '82, the writer notes what we've all been learning the hard way: "Girl Power in School, but Not in the Office": The realization that the knowledge and skills acquired in school don’t always translate at the office is something that all college graduates, men and women, must face. But for women, I have found, the adjustment tends to be much harder. It was certainly hard for me — I lasted only nine months in my first job out of college. (@the nytimes)

Sunday Top Ten: Way Back in the 90's, PART ONE

Prior to 2003, my little brother (Year Of Birth: 1984) was the youngest person alive. In '03, my boyfriend (YOB: 1983 -- alarmingly young, and the only youngster I'd ever dated) cheated on me with an '87-born girl who sported the AIM handle "AllyBoo," making HER the youngest person alive. Now, thanks to the internets, I know many young people, and it is a truth universally acknowledged that A;ex/Semicolon (YOB:1985555) is now the youngest person alive. I'd like to cite Stef, who recently addressed a young commenter (who didn't know about 'zines) with this: "Your profile says you were born in 1987, making you even younger than semicolon, so maybe you missed out on the golden age of the 'zine."

It's mind-boggling; all these young people who missed so many important things by only a few years. Change moves quickly these days, and Hav & I (high school class of '99) find even our Class of '01 friends don't know much about Angela Chase. Heartbreaking. Unfortunately, VH1's premature nostalgia ejaculations have covered our exclusive 90's nostalgia territory before we could -- not that I've seen 'em, but you know how I love reading about teevee.

See, I'm [really thinking about] packing [for moving] right now, which makes this week a prime-time for time travel, as I'm [sure I'll be] stumbling upon massive amounts of shit from the 90's that I've still got around. Why do I keep these things? I don't know. I mean! 'Cause I'll need this stuff when I write my book! And 'cause one day this photo of Claire Danes from Seventeen will be worth millions on the 'bay! I'm gonna do this in two parts. The second part is also exciting.

Sunday Top Ten PART ONE of TWO: Things From the 90's You Should Know About

10. Sassy Magazine

Last month I read How Sassy Changed my Life, it was a delightful trip down memory lane to the little teen dream magazine that couldn't. Sassy, designed to emulate the more subversive tone employed by Australian teen magazines, launched in 1989 and was a godsend to alternateen girls all over the nation. Drawing on an audience who felt alienated by the aggressive heterosexuality and blatant appearance-based commercialism exuded by women's magazines like Seventeen, Teen, YM and Mademoiselle, Sassy was ripped mercilessly from our tender teenaged hands in 1996, therefore creating the alienation that lead us all to do drugs, become gay and recycle. There's been nothing quite like it since -- though props to JANE (founded in '97, folded in '07) and ElleGirl (founded in '01, folded in '06) for trying.

---

9. The Aerosmith Alicia Silverstone Music Video Trifecta

Ostensibly, these videos were about a very hot heterosexual girl (Alicia Silverstone) driven to desperate measures (usually involving desert landscapes, babydoll dresses, boots and convertibles) by bad bad bad bad boys. Secretly, all these videos were about the intense burning lesbian love affair between Alicia Silverstone (Clueless) and Liv Tyler (Empire Records ... also, she's Steven Tyler's daughter). Alicia's first boyfriend (Cryin') drives her to fake her own suicide attempt, her second (Amazin') prematurely ejaculates and plays too many video games.

Which brings me to "Crazy." Can I call Alicia "Leesh"? Okay, I will. I can best explain the plot of "Crazy" to you IN RHYME/poem form. Or you can watch the video itself.

Crazy:
Leesh & Liv are too cool for school
little bitty plaid skirt shimmy out the window,
baby you can sleep while I ditch the sweater
'cause two girls with the top down is better.

Worldwide seduction tour, the wide world's free
shades at our fingers, pump up the car, look at me
if you can't beat 'em, you'll undress while I take their money.

Aerosmith likes its men perpetually thirteen & on bended knee
all wanting and objectifying every shiny-haired woman they see
I spy a young supple maiden in a short skirt & wisp of tiny tee
public display of patriarchal longing, I got a sinker if you've got a hook
[or a breathy screaming line] but who cares!? I mean, just look
at the way they look
at each other.

Leesh is in drag; suit tie & hat
Liv's stripping in white shiny pants
they win the contest, ditch the boys, hop on the bed,
drive through endless fields, sky kisses heads
sun-streaked skin and sex, money laughs, hair dashes,
baby you can rock while I roll.

---

7. 'Zines

'Zines, obvs: I've said enough about 'zines this week (in honour of our first auto-win zine). Howevs, the Auto-Insomnia 'zine is way better than my first attempt at 'zining in 1997. The contents of Lunette included an investigation of the word "fake," a story called "How Drinking Ruined our Clique," a My So-Called Life drinking game, my brother's column about life in middle school, suggestions of "What to Do When You're Bored" (e.g., go putt putt golfing, drive way out of town and find a restaurant you've never been to and eat there, go to the top of the parking structure & spit on people), photos from our trip Mexico, The Boy Hall of Fame (two friends and Gabriel Dameon from Newsies), and my favorite part -- "Our Research Project": "Since Marie has aol (America Online) and can type really fast, we went online and asked a gazillion people what they thought about teenagers. Only a few people were willing to talk to us though. If you want to email any of these people, don't tell them where you got their names from, it's confidential." Questions included, "did you live a childhood of innocence?" and "what do you think of The Spice Girls?"

**

---

6. My So-Called Life

It's really hard to communicate with people who've not seen this show. They cannot understand the depth & importance of statements like: "I just love the way he leans," and "you're so beautiful, it hurts to look at you." Luckily fourfour breaks it all down for you in this video. Howevs, if we're going to be friends in any meaningful way, just rent the DVDs, they only had one season, it's not gonna take forever. The cancellation of MSCL was our generation's Vietnam.

---

5. So, Back to UsUsUs

I believe the world can be divided into three kinds of people:
1. People who didn't get braces 'cause they didn't need 'em.
2. People who had braces for 2.5 or more years. (me)
2a. and headgear, rubber bands, etc.
3. People who had braces for less than 2.5 years.

Do kids still get braces? Are they clear? I don't know what's going on in the world anymore.

Anyhow, whether you did or didn't get braces -- if you're a blogger or a reader and you've got a photo of yourself modeling through any of the days between '94 and '97, e-mail it to me, tell me your commenter name (if you have one) or blog name and you just may appear in Segment Two of the Sunday Top Ten: Way Back in the 90's.
For Installment One of "Back in the 90's" I present THE AUTO-CREW!
sans Haviland, who claims she has no photos of herself taken
between her early youth and 2005.
Suspiciously, neither did The Girl on the Milk Carton.
No but really I'd like to bring this back around to why it's a good thing I cart everything with me everywhere, 'cause you never know when your BFF is gonna request an old photo of you from the 90's.

+

Send your 1994, 1995, 1996 or 1997 photos to marielyn176@gmail.com.

autoerotic asphyxifunction negative 9 days from september 1st

Tinkerbell says: "Hi. This is Tinkerbell. This is the best 'zine I've ever read." ++Firstly, I'd like to share something very important with y'all. Someone inquired about our employment of the word "excitant." This word will become very important to you in approximately 1-3 months. I can't tell you why. But! Grasshopper, let me tell you where it comes from. In order to do this, we must "time travel" (if you will) to January 11th. 'Twas a younger time of cold snow-showers, multiple birthday parties, extensive L Word recaps, and many feelings. You remember. You were there, unless you're Bernie Mac or something ... well, I guess he was there, he's just not HERE to remember it. Anyhow, it wasn't that long ago. Okey dokey. ONWARD!

---

Jan. 11th, 2008 From: Isabella To: Marielyn176

Hi, Marielyn

first of all compliment for the realization of this wonderful site.

I have discovered only 2 days ago and i have already read all about it.

The L world is amazing, well done, for me it rappresents freedom,love and friendship.

On the other side, the Lworld treats very important and realistic themes like homosexuality and adoption, but

otherwise it became at the same time funny, crazy and excitant.

I want to thank you for all news about the locations, the shooting, and news about Jennifer Beals I already found in.

I love her and the way she acts is fantastic and also all the cast of Lworld.

Thank you for your time...

I hope to receive some yours

Have a good 2008 and good luck for all....

---

From: Marielyn176 To: Caitlin, Alex, Carly Fw: Congratulation!!!... I love freedom, love and friendship too!!!!

---

From: Carly To: Riese, Caitlin, Alex Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... You seriously get the bessst emailsss. This is so great. Just curious, though ... what news about the locations, the shooting, and the Jennifer Beals are you giving out on your wonderful site, and where can I discover it too? I hope to receive some yours xoxo gossip girl

---

From: Caitlin To: Carly, Riese, Alex Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... excitant? is that a new word or like exciting and excellent morphed. clearly she has a lot of feelings.

---

From: Riese To: Caitlin, Carly, Alex Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... carly - i think i keep this information in the same place where I store my records of kate moening's comings-and-goings. cait- I like "rappresent." It's like a combination of rapping and representing, and I don't think I can do it because I'm white. alex- hi the way you all act is fantastic, xoxo gossip girl

---

From: Alex To: Carly, Caitlin, Riese Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... I can't believe you never told me where Jennifer Beals was. Isabella knows and I don't?!? Why don't you ask one of your other girlfriends!? ...and also the cast of the Lworld. Marielyn... hi

---

From: Caitlin To: Carly, Riese, Alex Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... i think actually the last line is the best. i hope to get some yours? really what does that even mean? clearly i am starting an l world blog immediately i need more emails like this in my life. maybe she's not even watching the same show as us, i mean she calls it the l world and says it's amazing, obvs she's confused on many levels.

---

From: Carly To: Caitlin, Riese, Alex Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... obvs confused, fully. maybe she was watching flashdance?

---

From: Riese To: Carly, Caitlin, Alex Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... Personally, I'm worried about the shooting. Is it going to be like the finale of Season Two of South of Nowhere? Also homosexuality is a lot of things, but it is definitely not realistic. Maybe she's talking about "The Anniversary Party"? Did you see that? Where everyone does acid or E or something and runs around in the bushes by the pool? J-Beals and Alan Cummings are in it. I'd like to bring this back around to next week, where we'll all be high on something and dancing around the pool (sorta) (theoretically) I financed the hell out of this realization of this site!!!?!?!?!?!?! xoxo marielyn

---

from: Carly to: Caitln, Alex, Riese Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Congratulation!!!... financed the hell = easily one of my favorite things ever. i own the anniversary party and will bring it. i heart that film. - c.

---

So there you have it. Isabella is our national hero. Back to the 'zine. Alex Vega, Number One Critter, has crafted my late-night randomness into an actual work of art. Clearly the poems are jokes and no one "gets" them, but regardless it's a really sweet and well done personal object. We've enjoyed putting it together and we'd like to share that enjoyment with you. The 'zine is offered on a sliding scale in the Auto-Store. I know all about sliding scales from when I used to go to Planned Parenthood all the time before I turned 18. But that's another story for another day. If you're a late borner unaware of the 'zine "thing," I truly do implore you to check out the world of 'zining. I feel the zineiverse, and its involvement with the Riot Grrl movement, is one of the most important, revolutionary and genuinely earnest kickass networks/initiatives ever to come out of this heartless bankrupt world where Cherie Jaffee won't run off and live in a rank love nest with an assistant hairdresser who's barely got her foot in the door. You know?++ tinkerbell loves auto-zine ++ ++ gonzo = also loves auto-zine wonders when lozo is gonna come pick him up because he is a gift for lozo from disneyworld ++ these are GOLDEN. literally. ++ Want a 'zine? They're so hot! ++ Alex wants me to tell you it took her 1.5 hours to make four of these. It's like the bespoke suits I read about in Esquire. Also Big Time Out: You guys. If you want a 'zine and can't afford it, just go the $5 route ("for anyone who's ever purchased auto-gear ever" -- I'm not fact-checking here), which almost covers shipping and paper. If you need to pay by snail mail, that's fine, get in touch. If you can't afford $5, just like - talk to me. Clearly I'm not in the business of blogging, or bad teevee recapping, or really life in general, to make money. If you've been reading this for any length of time, you're aware that I'd rather be in massive debt, barely employed and san-savings account than ever for one moment be stingy, selfish or greedy. I think generosity is the most attractive quality a human being can have. I prefer the first amendment to a 401K and I'm fully aware that I'm first worldian and I could be living in a hut in any number of African countries inhabited by poor people forced to kill each other over t-shirts. Instead, I live in Harlem, where people shoot each other over sneakers and iPods.

Anyway, enough about me. Any writer can tell you that writing is not a capitalist sport. There's no money in this game. That's why I'm going to join the Belarus rhythmic gymnastic team. It's gonna be AWESOME. Also, Alex is moaning at me right now about how much work went into the 'zines and that I'm selling our product short by offering it to anyone on a sliding scale. Also she's probably realizing that I will never have a savings account 'cause as soon as I get money I want to somehow give it away, and this is probably a depressing prospect. Good point. If you can afford full cost, I promise you it's worth it. Really, I just want everyone to be happy. Really, that's all I want. I want peanut butter, the ability to pay my bills, and for everyone to be happy. Except Ann Coulter, I hope she gets hit by a bus. Also, it would be cool if everyone bought a 'zine so that I could have more money in the bank and therefore more time to do this for free. I have weird dreams all the time, my people tell me I am silly and hit me on the head. Then I'm like, "Ouch!"

---

quote: "I think the whole root of the matter lies in the fact that when a writer is young he feels somehow that what he is going to say is rather silly or obvious or commonplace, and then he tries to hide it under baroque ornament, under words taken from the seventeenth century writers; or, if not, and he sets out to be modern, then he does the contrary: he's inventing words all the time, or alluding to airplanes, railway trains, or the telegraph and telephone 'cause he's doing his best to be modern. Then as time goes on, one feels that one's ideas, good or bad, should be plainly expressed, because if you have an idea you must try to get that idea or feeling or that mood into the mind of the reader." (Jorge Luis Borges, Paris Review Interview)

---

links: 1. One of my favorite writers Rachel Shukert asks: Are Jews to Aquatics what African-Americans are to Basketball? (@jewcy) 2. n+1 ventures into new waters with an article acknowleding the existence of the working class: Take It to the Street (@n+1) 3. Um, so. AfterEllen, in their dogged pursuit of hiring brand -new people other than me, have a fashion blogger!: Styled Out: A Boy in Girls' Clothing (@afterellen) 4. Still stoked for the Cho Show! A Comic Seeks Herself and Finds a New Series (@nytimes) AND My favorite blogger fourfour interviewed her for vh1! Yay! (@fourfour). 5. Will the recession suck for artists too? Can the economy possibly suck any more than it already does for artists? YES! YES IT CAN!: The Future of Banks and Art Giving (@portfolio) 6. Two from the guardian book blogs: If 'lesbian author' gets me publicity, than so be it and How Bestsellers chart the state of nations (@the guardian uk) 7. This is the kind of thing I find ridiculously interesting: Skirting the Issues: What do September's fashion magazines tell us about the economy? (@slate) 8. Sex and the Olympic City:I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point. (@the guardian uk) 9. Sorry I can't seem to not care about this and reaalllly especailly this!. 10. Look it's me and Caitlin's new apartment (@gizmodo)

Semi-automatic DIY Mechanics : 'Zine Issue #1 is (almost) more fun than day-dreaming on 8-20-08

Look what all the cool kids are doing when they can't sleep?
++
WE MADE A 'ZINE AND YOU CAN OWN IT!

Last night The Mighty Rockford Peaches played & lost another basketball game. I wasn't there, I was at home, popping codeine for my aching back and doing arts & crafts 'cause I wanted to have something to show for myself when semicolon returned from the Tough Game. "Look!" I told Twitter: "I made an insomnia poetry book!" And Twitter said it was good.

As y'all know, if a tree falls in a forest and no-one hears it, who cares? Similarly, if I make a 'zine for tinkerbell but not for the blogopshere, then no-one can comment on it, and then it doesn't count. So, semicolon took my hodge-podge slapshot creation away from my feeble hands and transformed it into SLAPSHOT MAGIC. It's packed with 10 insomnia poems, including one you can't find on the internets! Special BOOK EXCLUSIVE. Want one?

Of course you do! It's super cheap, free shipping for everyone, even for the sleeping children of Narnia. You'll also get free Auto-Straddle stickers! Also I did the cover art, just saying. (Babypop did the lettering, I drew a pickshur of myself) I'm very multi-talented. Even if you've not read it, if you think you know how good it's gonna be, please share in the comments. We'll be collecting blurbs for the back cover today.

Check out some sample pages:

++
++BTW, I've had a long love affair with the 'zine, having hit adolescence at the zenith of the riot grrl/zine-ing explosion. I had one, I've got many, and I could talk about 'zines all day. Perhaps theres 2-3 girls in the audience tonight who know what I'm talking about. Can I get a witness? Maybe I'll take a field trip to the Barnard Zine Libraray to get back into the craft. 'Cause that's what I need. Another non-profit hobby. Also, FYI Blogs are not zines..

++

[croadcore /cristy c.road]

Since I was on a roll with the arts&crafts I applied a similar can-do spirit to figuring out the store HTML & consequently did auto-store inventory. If you visit the store page, you may notice that I'm slashing prices like Wal-Mart. Why? 'Cause I'm moving and I'm trying to get rid of 50% of my stuff ... and 'cause I wanna get crackin' on the next round of auto-gear STAT using colors like grey and black 'cause this time we picked some SERIOUS colors and Crystal only wears black. I think my design team didn't realize that many people (especially men & lesbians) aren't neon sprites of rock 'n roll and pop-pleasure like my lovely friends are, and these darker souls want something subtle. Also I learned a lot about you people doing inventory, like that none of y'all are skinny like Shane 'cause XS boy-briefs are still fully stocked! They don't fit me either, but I have an ethnic ass. Chase the remains of auto-gear stock at the store (we're out of Papi-tees in Medium, FYI, so grab the last Large NOW!) here.

If you ever at any point purchased auto-gear or are purchasing it now, you have the option of clicking the "with auto-gear" button next to the 'zine and you can get a copy UNDER COST -- yes, just $5 sweet bucks. For the former -- you're fully welcome to pay full price if you want, but I totally get it if you want to get a bargain 'cause the auto-gear was full price. Also don't underestimate the power of where your money went: The Super-Important Foundation for Riese's Brill Ideas/Recaps and The Layla Love Angel Fund. Seriously, you're all very special and I love you all as friends. Except for the meanies.

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Last year I blogged about Dream-Whip, my favorite 'zine of all time, and the good folks at Microcosm Publishing sent me all this awesome stuff, like Cristy C. Road's zine Indestructible (initially intended to be the final issue of GREENZINE). All the art in this post is Cristy' s. Also, she's in that Live Through This: On Creativity and Self Destruction book I threw out there for Book Club #1 and read anyway.

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[cristy c. road ]
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quote: "Sometimes as I'm drifting towards sleep, in the beginnings of that dissolution, I wonder where I am, when this is, and realize that at these moments I could be anywhere, anytime, for all I know: eight and napping in the trailer, my broken arm in a cast, or thirteen at night clutching a pillow to my neck, or twenty in the arms of my boyfriend, or twenty-seven in the arms of my husband or thirty-three next to my imaginary daughter; at every place in the whole spinning shape that is my life, when I am falling asleep, I am the same person, the identical awareness, the same fuzzball of mind, the same muck of nerves, all along the line. I forage through my life and everywhere -- there, there, and there -- it is only me in it, the very same me, the same harmless lump, the same soggy weirdo, the same sleeping, breathing bun." (Lorrie Moore, "Angarams")

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links:
1) Perez Hilton Burned Up the Blogosphere, Cosmetics, Fashion -- and Music (@wired)
2) I wanted to link to this article but it's just for Harper's subscribers so I extended my privileges to y'all and downloaded it for you to download from me: Elegy for a Rubber Stamp by Lewis H. Lapham, on the memorializing of Tim Russert: "I don't doubt that Russert was as good at the game as anybody in Washington, but why the five-star goodybe? ... why a requiem mass for a pet canary? (@harpers)
3) Why Zines Won't Die (@good magazine - 2007)
4) What kind of person Blogs ? (@bps research digest) and Who Blogs? (@science direct). E.g., neurotic females = likely to blog.
5) I Meet the Business End of Citibank's Anti-Adult Business Policy (@waking vixen)
6) It's a Maddow Maddow Maddow World: "Huzzah huzzah and glory be! Today is a day of great jubilation and celebration here at Broadsheet!" (@salon)
7) "What's the Buzz?": the search for the perfect caffeine-infused snack, (@slate.com)
8) 14 Ways to Use Twitter Politely (@the morning news)
9) How "the man" kept Playgirl down: Believe it or not, there was a time when women read Playgirl for the articles. (@maclean's CA)
10) Baring their souls: From Carole King to Tori Amos, confessional artists have sung with searing honesty about everything from divorce to menstruation. As Liz Phair's classic album Exile in Guyville is re-released, Laura Barton celebrates the women who shared their dreams and demons. (@the guardian uk)
11) Awake by Tobias Wolff (@the new yorker)

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