Wednesday, October 22, 2008

8 Against 8 Day #3! I Married in the Sun! Reason 7 & Reason 6

When I started the 8 Against 8 posts, I had a lot of important things to talk about, like gay adoption and freedom (both the concept and the George Michael song). I wasn't even sure I could fit all my points into just 8 points. But I feel that I've come up with a much better reason to "vote no on 8" than anything I could ever say about civil rights, overpopulation or my gay Moms, and I'm going to make this point at the expense of having a chance to make some of the other points. Oh but first ...

... if you haven't given me your photo with a "No on 8" sign yet, I have only one question for you: why not, asshat? Get your shit together!: You can see all the total hotties who've already given me their snapshot in the most recently published post.
#7: Rachel Getting Married

Because I do not want to live in a world where it would be illegal for "Susan" to marry Rachel Maddow, omg. I know Maddow lives in Massachusetts, but this isn't about who lives where (more on this in a second). Don't you want to marry Rachel Maddow? Everyone wants to marry Rachel Maddow. If I could get Rachel Maddow on lockdown for rest of my life, I would move to the middle of nowhere faster than Palin agreed to be in charge of the Senate. I'd give up television and also apparently trash removal services AND I would even wake up at dawn and take the dogs out to look at the sheep. Firstly, Tinkerbell loves other dogs and it would be very fun for her. Secondly, I feel I could have a break into blossom moment.

Oh right! OK! It isn't about who lives where 'cause what we can do in California is set an example for everyone else, and also you can get married there and then it'll be recognized in NYC. Arizona's fighting Proposition 102 and Florida's fighting Ammendment 2. Give them your money too.
Today the NY Times reports (in its most popular story) that Rachel Maddow has doubled the audience for MSNBC's 9 p.m. slot in a matter of days, which's apparently unheard of. But speaking of things that are unheard of, you know what I've heard alot about? That NYTimes Magazine article about Rachel Maddow. Everyone is OBSESSED. What's your favorite part? I like imagining her taking ten minutes to hook up the speakers to the laptop.

Anyhow I think it's a good thing -- Rachel Maddow. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel ... Did you know Rachel has a twitter? Listen to Rachel on gay marriage in May. Here's her Air America show, where she made a name for herself before everyone became obsessed.
#6: 'Cause gay people can't make more people unless they really want to

In 2007, over 65,500 adopted children and 14,100 foster children were living with gay and lesbian parent. Half a million children live in foster care in the United States and more than 100,000 foster children await adoption.

I've been close to (read: dated, obvs I've got issues w/r/t saving people) three guys that were at some point put in foster care. They had horror stories -- abuse, neglect, parents who did it for the money. Even the guy who ended up, eventually, with a great family, was a total alcoholic. That's probs another story, anyhow.

It's insane to prefer placing kids with randomized asshats over placing them with the gays. Gays can't reproduce, so they generally adopt 'cause they want a kid real bad, not for the money.

On average, same-sex couples raising adopted children are older, more (formally) educated, and have more economic resources than other adoptive parents: The average household income for same-sex couples raising adopted children is $102,474, versus $81,900 for different-sex married couples, $43,746 for different-sex unmarried couples, and $36,312 for single parents. Same-sex couples hold graduate degrees at 34%, versus different-sex married couples at 13%, different-sex unmarried couples at 2% and single parents at 9%.

-Family Pride

Yeah, it's hard to have gay parents, but certainly gays are better than asshats. Also speaking from experience -- having a gay Mom did not make me want to be gay. In fact, precisely the opposite. Come on, who wants to be like their parents besides like, Rachel Maddow's future children? If Rachel Maddow was my Mom, I'd probs become gay. Anyway who cares, everyone should be gay. The earth is overpopulated, we do not need any more people, there's no food & no energy. After my agent and my therapist have their babies, that's it, it's over. No more babies. I might want one some day so I'll make an Amendment then. Also if you're reading this and you're preggers, that's fine, I support you. I hope my therapist has her baby soon so she can come back to work, I already have a lot of feelings I want to talk about.

We should clearly focus on recirculating the people we already have rather than making more. Quality not quantity. The Rosie Cruise, which I've gone on for three lovely years, is like an adopted child party, and they're all way better behaved than birthed children. You should go if you have any money left over after giving it all away to political campaigns. I don't, but that's why G-d invented credit cards.

Give me your picture or a picture of your baby. I bet your baby is against proposition 8, give your baby a sign. Once I thought I was preggers so I carried around a gourd with me, painted a face on it, named it "dumbass" and said it was my practice baby. My boyfriend and I would throw it to each other in the hall, it was funny, we even have photos with it. Clearly I can't be trusted, it's a good thing I don't sleep with dudes anymore.

I can't believe I've blogged three days in a row. Are you sick of me yet? I am. Donate. Photograph. I love you all, let's make babies.


Anonymous said...

i have written ms. maddow a love letter (via her email) everyday fro the past 2 weeks. errrgh. she has not written back--but it's okay. i still love her!

if i had money, i would give it all! i can give you another o so sassy pic of me, though!

and i love you!


nicole antoinette said...

I'm not at ALL sick of you!

Haviland said...

i love that you all love rachel.

also, what cute faces of all these commenters i have grown to love over the internets. and now i get to see your pretty porcelains!

riese. rockstar. done.

riese said...

nar: first! your comment makes me lol for real. i hope she didn't take away from the time you could've been emailing shane or zach braff. hello, rachel. this is natalie. i like your show.

nicoleantioinette: YES! PERFECT. I ROCK!

haviland: hi i love you for loving rachel before everyone else even knew about her. also, yes! on all the lovely faces. i'd like to see about 500 more. maybe a famous person. oh wait i already have one, it's you!

everyone send me photos of your pretty face!

Vashti said...

I love Rachel Maddow. I also like the shoes she's wearing in that picture [that picture that I've seen approx. 2039482 today. I'm not complaining though].

I wish I was a second person so that I could take a second picture. Cuz I really just like photo collages/CYBERQUILTS. Can I just send in a pic of my bff/ewok Toby? Obvs he's against Prop 8.

asher said...

"Everyone is OBSESSED. What's your favorite part? I like imagining her taking ten minutes to hook up the speakers to the laptop."

I liked that bit a lot. Something about it seemed very Sorkin to me.

I also enjoy seeing the pretty faces. After this you need to profile one a week and play matchmaker.

Mercury said...

I totally saw her on that Countdown show months ago and I was like, "Why is this cute dykey woman not the regular host? I was so much more interested when she was talking." I laughed my ass off watching that, because she's fucking hilarious. And then I kept hearing about Rachel Maddow and I was like who IS THAT? and then I just now made the connection because I bothered to exert the effort to click on a link and find out.

Go team Rachel!! I'm so proud to share this woman's name <3. She's a rockstar.

autumn m said...

i guess i just dont get the weird freaky obsession with rachel maddow. *regretful sigh* guess im just not as cool as everyone else. it kinda feels like an inside joke that the dumb retarded girl doesnt get. but, whatevs. i think i am going to go around to random people and violently force them to take a picture with my no on prop 8sign. ¿¿how do you feel about that?? oh, and my one lesbian friend that i was so proud to say i had, has decided not ot be one anymore. she is all house wifey now and such. that totally ruined my street cred.

Anonymous said...

Rachel Maddow is officially THE gay.
And I love her for it.

Some of the readers in your 8against8 quilt look SO familiar. Do I know any of you people in real life?
If I do, you don't have to tell me.
Except you should tell me cause its making my head explode.

Anonymous said...

Rachel had me at "it seems wrong to get rid of lawnmowers". sigh..

autumn m said...

oh and you are totally right about the readers being total hotties!! Especially that totally completely hot hottie autumn. holla!!!!

riese said...

vashti: Is Toby really an ewok? Do you think he would look as good as tink and poncho? The whole world has Maddow fever.

asher: you know what's funny is all this time I've always for some reason thought that photo i your icon was a photo of ellie from degrassi the new generation. Now I realize it is a photo of you. I get smarter as time goes on, because I live in America. Very Sorkin. Best thing ever.

mercury: I love that you didn't know who she was, I honestly didn't know who she was until a few weeks ago. But apparently Haviland's known all this time. Another Rachel to add to the great list of fabulous Rachels, per the study of Rachelology.

autumn m: No it's cool someone has to buck the trend. the lesbian friend has decided not to be a lesbian anymore, or she's decided not to be your friend anymore? either way i bet she says no on 8.

a;ex: Yes, you know Carly, Haviland, Riese, Natalie, Stef, Tink, Ms. Jackson, Poncho ... I think that's it.

anonymous: I know, and I'd never even thought of it before, but like, it definitely is. I'm never getting rid of another lawnmower again.

autumn m: hands down totes fosho forevs.

asher said...

ha. that's funny. nope that's always been my devastatingly handsome mug looking out at you from my little thumbnail.

ps - i totally had to google 'ellie, degrassi'; but after doing my research, i'll take that as a compliment.

Vashti said...

Toby is indeed an ewok. I think he can look as good as tinkerbell and poncho but I'm kind of biased.

stef said...

what a foxy bunch you all turn out to be.. who knew? i was kinda hoping you'd all turn out to be creepy old men.

stef said...

ALSO OMG MY WORD VERI WAS REDRUC. almost redrum. ok i know we promised not to do that anymore but i got excited.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

"hands down totes fosho forevs" might be the most permanent affirmation in the auto-history of this blog.

Also, once my pic goes up there will be one creepy old man. Depending on how liberally you feel like defining old. Ha. Want some candy?

Bill said...

I very good point - gays adopt because they want children not for profit! (Although, to be fair a lot of good hetro's adopt for good reasons as well)Don't just love the facists religious right homophobes who love us but not our actions!! Defeatng "8" is so important - important enough to put up your money for the cause.
Bill living in exile with his British mate. We don't need a government or a church to tell us were married but it would be nice.

autumn m said...

so, i love the fact that you completely fed into my self-absorbed issue. very nice. and, my one lesbian friend is still my friend, just not a lesbian anymore. and you were very wrong, she said she would vote yes on 8. she is now all over being a right wing republican. and, she thinks sarah palin is the coolest person. see how this could ruin my street cred (like i had any to begin with). i need to find some lesbian friends. Right-O!!!!

Anonymous said...

Great work!

I would love to donate a DVD of "The Best of" to give for a high donation or however you'd like to use it to raise money.


asher said...

ps - has anyone called the 'vote yes' movement on their hypocrisy? i mean, the MORMON church is defending the institute of marriage? really palin, really?

riese said...

asher: totes compliment! ellie was always filming stuff too, like in that picture it looks like.

vashti: i feel like toby is going to want best dyke porn.

stef: that's totally a good word verif and therefore valid. for example; when i had oil tv. that was good too. I wish they were creepy old men too, then i wouldn't have to develop new cybercrushes.

the brooklyn boy: oh it is, it's basically like marriage itself. see what i did there i brought it back around.

bill: oh yeah, heteroes totes adopt for good reasons. it's just that gay couples 100% of the time really want a kid, as opposed to heteroes who have one on accident. you know reprouction and birth. i need the government to tell me i'm married when i get married 'cause i have a feeling i'll lose a lot of money otherwise. that seems to happen to me a lot.

autumn m: that was really quick with your friend i almost feel like maybe she was brainwashed like stepford wives, you know?

bren ryder: done and Doooneeee.

asher: I have this feeling that the vote yes movement is pretty intimate with hypocrisy.