Still Waiting for My Big Debut: I Ain't Gonna Work on Maggie's Farm No More

I know when magazines come out. I don't know a lot of things, like calculus (or how to spell calcualaus) or how to spell the word for the fourth day of the week that starts with "W," or how to make a plain box with HTML, or anything about that TV show "Lost," or how to read minds. But I know that Marie Claire has never come out after Glamour, Lucky, Vanity Fair, Cosmo, jesus christ. The Year-End issue of Life magazine with all the best photos of 2007 is obviously going to come out first. Then I saw this:

According to the New York Times, this is the first issue with the new editor, which means perhaps they are switching things up a bit. As in taking longer for it to come out. It's like I just want the dentist to pull my teeth already. The irony of all of this is that I am on the cover!!

"You should just tell people that you're gonna be on the cover."
-Haviland

Before I went blonde again, I got a lot of comments about lookin' like Maggie G, which I sometimes suspected was because we are both lanky and "quirky" and willing to carry heavy objects on our bony backs for James Spader. I mean, other than that, we really don't have that much in common, looks-wise.

That being said, I am putting a hex on Courtney Cox. Every time I see her face staring back at me from the August issue, a little piece of me dies inside.

I think John left me a message that he might come out to New York so we can yell at each other. That might not be what he said. But if it was, that's kinda funny.