Also: It's getting really hot, and we still have bars in our windows, thus preventing the insertion of mammoth cheap air conditioner, which'll keep me frigid as I avoid the world all summer, per usual.
which might be contested were we playing Scattergories, but which I'm quite positive are Correct Answers.
I talk about this every summer, such is the depth of my loathing for this season. In summary, I despise: temperatures over 70°, sticky melted frozen deserts on fingers, insects, steaming hot subway stations, scantily clad pedestrians, The Puerto Rican Day Parade, The Fourth of July, water-parks, public pools, street fairs involving selling food outdoors and death-trap "rides," unsupervised children that ought to be in school, Arctic-quality air conditioning on airplanes, the smell of rotting meat emanating from the corner deli, flip flops, hot rotting garbage on the street, the beach, tourists, shorts, men who whistle at girls in skirts, sunburns, sunscreen, razor-burn.
Oh and! I interned at US Weekly for about two days, but they grossed me out so I quit. That was during the winter, though.
This is called "Twice Baked Lasanga with Meatballs." It's good for people who enjoy cardiac arrest and multiple trips to the company restroom. Originally introduced as a special, guests enjoyed this disgusting dish so much it's now on the regular menu.
Camp Ranana, the local Jewish day camp, totes defeated me; another opportunity to be reminded I wasn't as pretty/cool/"advanced in cup-size" as the other girls, though said girls befriended me always 'cause I told funny jokes.
At Zionist overnight camp, we slept in platform tents and had chores before breakfast, like "No oatmeal 'til you clean the bathrooms, kibbutzim!" I had an affair with the weirdest kid at camp, 'cause he intrigued me; his brother was a transvestite and he'd lost his virginity to his babysitter at 13 [in retrospect: True or False?]. He's probably bi now. Like, legitimately bi. Or else married and on a lot of psychotropics. That was the camp where we re-enacted the holocaust at 3 A.M. ["The Germans are coming! Get dressed and escape!"] and, after traipsing through the woods, playing a series of team-building games before exodus-ing to "The Land of Milk and Honey" at daybreak to cook potatoes over an open fire for breakfast and then I got sent to prison [the tennis courts] for forgetting to carry my passport. L'Chaim!
[Okay, back now. I had both hands raised, and could not type.]
Oh ... it still feels like yesterday ... I can almost taste the pita bread n' hummus and hear the Sarah McLachlan and smell the marijuana and the womyn-on-womyn lovin' ... sweet memories of Magali and I crankin' up the Indigo Girls "Shamin' of the Sun'" in her beat-up non-air-conditioned stick-shift Volvo on 1-94 to Suburban Detroit to sit in the grass in our faux-hippie-gear with our faux-hippie friends, having the realest time we could've ever had at 15 ... youth ... innocence ... summertime ... that was alright. Yeah ... that was alright.
ME: Hey--did you ever go to the lilith fair?
HAVILAND: obvs. twice, amazing concerts.
HAVILAND: once with shannon and once with sherri
ME: if there was a lilith fair tomorrow, i'd go
HAVILAND: me too
HAVILAND: it was SO incredible
ME: i'd be like "I LOVE YOU TRACY CHAPMAN!!!:
HAVILAND: did u go?
ME: obvs, both years.
HAVILAND: i can't believe it stopped happening
ME: i know!
ME: totally a tease
ME: i guess that's lilith.
The Haviland, the Cruise, Williamsburg Wonder Twins, The Reading, Starting This Little Blog, Savannah, Pride, Nyack, Tasti-D, Official Summer Jam "S.O.S"
It's getting chilly now. I f'in love it.