Monday, May 07, 2007

Sunday Top Ten: Really Papi, REALLY?!!!!!

Just penned the whole Sunday Top Ten on Zoho Writer (online word processing program). Then I closed Firefox, re-opened Firefox, went to Zoho writer ... and the entire blog I wrote (which's really long) is completely gone. Totally disappeared. It was like, hyperlinked, image-laden, quote-heavy and, honestly, pretty LOL-worthy.

In fact, I'd spent so much time on researching this post that, at it's end, I'd resolved never to spend so much time on one blog entry again.

Apparently, this erasure is a Zoho "BUG." Bug? Really? A Bug??!!! This is not a bug, this is a full scale catastrophe. This is like Egyptian Plague-Style bugs. Locusts.

[Side note: This comparison I'm making is not only insensitive but unfair.]
[Just like Zoho writer.]

And now--two days of work--gone! Totes gone! I'm going to go stick my head in the oven.

UPDATE IDEA: Okay. Even if you NEVER EVER comment on this blog, which is about 4,000 of you, today's the day. Seriously. I want like, ten gazillion comments, and I'm going to make them into the best Sunday Top Ten Ever: Having Nothing to Do With the Original Top Ten, Which I'll Re-Do Following an Intense Period of Mourning for the Original.


Tell me your computer-crash nightmare, or tell me that I'm a brat 'cause it's much worse in Darfur than it is on Tell me what's worse than this, which is most things: you've just been diagnosed with SARS, you've just discovered your boyfriend's been cheating on you with a 16-year-old synchronized swimmer, you're in prison for stealing a loaf of bread, you live in Afghanistan, you're the only gay in the Village, you're my friend right now, you just chopped your leg off in a lawnmower, etc. Or tell me a quick n' easy Top Ten you think I could do.



Anonymous said...

ok, usually i NEVER EVER comment on blogs. and since i'm not from the us but from austria, my english is really poor, so there's not much i could write to you without offending your writing skills.
but i really do feel sorry for you, cause i know how horrible it is to actually lose things (like a text) in a place that somehow doesn't even exist. i mean, it's only some sort of VIRTUAL space, no? so how can i help you? - i can't. what can i tell you? - probably nothing. nonetheless: i love your blog.
greetings from europe, joni.

MoonKiller said...

I hate it when that happens. I've taken to saving things every five minutes because this bullshit PC (yes PC! lol) hates me because I burnt it in a fire. Thats one thing thats worse - fires, not only do you lose things that you'll never get back but your left with a horrible smoke smell for weeks, I like the smell of smoke when it's made using matches but electricle smoke stinks bad...but on the plus side you get a group of guys come in a bright yellow van with a rainbow on the side and make it smell nice again. Other bad things -

>When you get an eye infection and always seem to miss your eye with the drops then get really depressed/annoyed because it hurts even worse AND you've used up most of your eye drops.

>When you leave a really long MySpace comment and then it says 'This user is not your friend' when they blatantly are.

Quite a few things really. = ].

But a great thing - my word verification is 'yoige' ha I'm going to add it to my dictionary. Meaning: When you write a really long blog then lose it to a virtual reality.

Crystal said...

My Best Computer Crash, ever.

The band I'm tour-managing for is about to begin a big USA stadium tour. We're in LA for first show.

Arrived at venue 3 days prior for set-up. Walking down fire-stairs; carrying a laptop that is responsible for EVERY single lighting and sound FX needed for all 28 concerts. Also holds the complete tour itinerary, budget, as well as everything else I need in life.

Laptop bag breaks, laptop falls down one flight of concrete stairs, then free-falls five storeys in a straight drop down to the ground floor. It combusts, electronics don't survive. Career didn't either. 3 days of no sleep, running around LA at all hours, begging to borrow equipment. Someone came through for me 20 mins of band taking stage. Never hired by band again.

... said...

fuck. i hate when that happens. usually when you're spending so much time while doing a post and you're thinking: it better be worth it. it magically disappears, won't upload or it shows some error. ugh.
i use to copy the whole post before clicking publish.
hmmm, i don't comment a lot, but, if it makes you feel better, i really enjoy reading you :]

have a nice week, hope the sunday top ten won't be unexpectedly eaten by the virtual reality :)

p.s.: like right now, the word verification thing won't let me upload the comment...i better copy it.

Laurrrrita said...

seeing as you've selflessly provided me with endless hours of laughter and glee, i suppose i could leave a comment on your blog. unfortunately, i don't have any interesting stories, so instead i'll just let you know that you've convinced me to get a mac (er, maybe this isn't the best time to espouse apple with you having lost all your work and such), whilst i sit here listening to music (turned up LOUD to drown out the ridiculous bible study that my parents are having in the other room), generally avoiding homework, and reading your blog, i send my undying love and admiration for your comedic talents and overall hilariosity.

Anonymous said...

So I never post comments on blogs. Ever. But... I am in procrastination hell right now, and having 1,000 words, six hours, and a hell of a lot of referencing to do, commenting here is doing a nice job of distracting me from the-essay-that-feels-like-it-won't-ever-be-finshed.

I'm sorry to hear about your Zoho disaster. I'm even sorrier that reading your blog is in no way beneficial to my degree.

Lots of love from the UK x x x

AK said...

You have my complete sympathy, even more so than when that (redacted) magazine killed your piece. Oh how we do hang by a virtual thread. My troubles are merely with hardware. My laptop is so hot right now that I'm propping it up on an ice pack, so it doesn't burn a hole in my desk. And I'm going to have to take it in because if I press too hard on left side of the keyboard it will go into sleep mode. But taking it in will mean not having internet access for two days. Still it's pretty scary when the screen goes completely black so suddenly....Sending love, kisses and chocolate. Wishing you a speedy recovery. You cracked an interbloggactic schism through my own staid writing style. And the Henris, they remain clueless.

viennagirl said...

dear riese,
worse than blogcrash: finding out, that no person is more special than any other person. every day example#1: i just found out, that i'm not the only austrian commenting and reading your hypercallifragilistic blog...conclusio: i'm not special. example #2: i'm never gonna be a rockstar, einstein, (insert country)'s next topmodel,...conclusio: i'm not special.
greetings viennagirl (aka still-waiting-for-my-prize-girl)

M said...

True story:

So my friend is kickin’ it around the city, looking for a way to make a few bucks (cute new Louis bag on sale – she had to have it). Low and behold, by some gleam of undeserving charity, some friends of the family agree to let her house sit for them while they’re in Europe for the month. Easy gig. Easy cash. Easy to look good with a cute new Louis on your shoulder. You get the idea.

In exchange for a pretty substantial compensation, her meager responsibilities include watering the plants, feeding the dog, getting the mail and some pretty superficial cleaning efforts that she wasn’t doing. So after about a week of coasting through this dubious employment, she arrives at the house just like any other day.

Except on this day, the dog happens to now be dead.

Panic sets in. Naturally, she feels horrible and guilty, assuming that through some course of her actions she has killed the dog. On top of this, she has no idea what to do, so she basically begins calling every number on the contact list the family had left with her.

Finally, she gets a hold of some lucid relative, who thankfully informs her that the dog was already on its way to St. Peter’s, at that she will in no way be held responsible for its demise. The family didn’t even like it that much anyway. Relief is an understatement. However, the catch (because what would be the point if there wasn’t a catch?) is that the relative also informs her that she has to take the (now dead) dog to this special place to get it cremated. You can’t just like bury a dog in New York City.

My friend is little. The dog is big, heavy and as mentioned before, dead. Thus we have a problem. Failure, however, is not an option. So my friend, knowing that she will be endlessly ridiculed by anyone she calls for help, decides to take matters into her own hands. In what would later be described as a stroke of genius, she manages to stuff the dead dog into a big gym bag and haul it out of the apartment.

She makes it around the block and half way down the subway steps before the weight starts to become a significant and obvious problem.

Enter the good Samaritan. So as my friend is having quite the struggle with this huge bag, a perfectly nice-seeming gentleman steps in and offers his help. She thanks him profusely and unloads the bag into his care. Even he, a full grown man, is impressed by the weight. He asks her what’s in the bag.

So here you see the problem. Of course she can’t tell him that there’s a dead dog in the bag. That would most likely terminate his charity. So she tells him that it’s just a bunch of really old computer equipment. Seems believable, right?

The guy PUNCHES her in the face and tears off with the bag, never to be seen or heard from again.

So I guess the moral is that sometimes you lose things that you were really attached to, and that sucks a lot. But sometimes it was just like, a dead dog that you were trying to get rid of anyway. And in losing it you get the satisfaction of knowing that, at some point, that guy opened the bag hoping to find computer equipment, and found a dead dog. And then you have something to blog about.

You really shouldn’t have linked your L Word blog back to here. Now you’re stuck with me.

Jessica said...

M: Thank you for that. I am presently sitting in a room with four law students, all of whom are within twenty-four hours of final course completion deadlines (meaning, all writing take-home exams about such fascinating topics as patent prosecution and constitutional law). Perhaps needless to say, the atmosphere here is a little intense. However, as i started reading your story, i erupted into something resembling maniacal laughter. To convince everyone that this was not actually a last-minute nervous breakdown, i had to share the source material. Turns out the laughter was contangious (and i don't think it's just because we're all bordering on delusional at this point). You're awesome.

Riese: Hello. I am amongst the non-commenters. Though only relatively recently introduced, i love your blog. And sometime after about 2:00 tomorrow, i promise to become better with the commenting.

The Spaz said...

My girlfriend dumped me yesterday, what do I win besides my freedom?

More importantly, since she reunited with her ex-boyfriend do I have to give my toaster oven back? ;)

Anonymous said...

hey Riese,

well, i am one of those who does comment on your posts on a regular basis:) in fact, sometimes you are the ears that listen at the appropriate place and the appropriate time.

i love your blog, so i am very disappointed of what happened (i was waiting for your sunday top ten)...damned technology!

i lost my older laptop after dropping my latte over the keyboard, on a cold morning of december, when i was chatting with an old friend (I was feeling very lonely in a new city!). it was sad, and i promised myself i would never put liquids close to my puter ever again. i can't said i have never broke the promise...

now my "new" laptop is 2 years old and it is starting to crash from time to time. i am sort of waiting for its death...i feel that it's sad that it won't live forever.

take care,


ps. i hope you are feeling better now that so many readers are' commenting! i am happy they outed from their closets";)

ps. when i was to post this comment the wireless connection failed and i was to lose all of it...aarrrggghhh!!!

Anonymous said...

see this:


Anonymous said...

My boyfriend has more girl friends than I do.

And I've definitely had more near mental breakdowns than you.

You're not alone, my friend. You're definitely not alone.

j$ said...

this probably won't make your top ten but you should download the 'session manager' extension for firefox... it saves your session in case you crash or close a tab by mistake.

Laurrrrita said...

dear m: we have a serious problem here: see, the thing is, when i was trying to think of an interesting story to tell, i thought of that exact same story-i'm not you see, either we both know the same person or that story is a lie lie lie (which i absolutely refuse to believe). anyhow, we need to get this sorted immediately.

Peter said...

M: happy to be stuck with you. that is hilarious. I'm sure I will wake up tomorrow and laugh first thing in the morning, and maybe, later in the day, while walking down the street.

Speaking of old computer equipment: my piece-of-shit laptop makes me so mad I'd swap it for a dead dog any day!
Riese, it's wrong but I know you'll understand---one of the reasons I can't wait for Nat to get back to London is her macbook.

Anonymous said...

my printer only communicates with me in spanish.

blox-tox aka waterbottle said...

Hey i'm feelin ya riese...

Once, i've been workin on my assignment that was due the next morning and i've been working all week and all of that freakin night to make the best-kickass-High Distinction Worth-Other students will kill me- assignment and it was 35 pages long!!! (i've never written so much shit... and it was on one fuckin film!) and after i've completed it all... saved it to my USB... went to school and wanted to printed it off there, shoved the usb in the pc scattered everywhere... open the usb folder... and it wasnt THERE!!! at that very moment... i was ready to meet the devil and begged him to bring me down with him... i couldnt do anything, i've been telling my teacher that he's gonna get it first thing in the morning and now it wasnt there!!... so... i ran my ass back home and begged my mum to call the skool and pull a sickie... also when i turned on my PC (that i wanted to abuse so badly...) ... half of the assignment was GONE.. god, writing this tragic event pains me... i dont know what exactly happened... but nearly half of the assignment was gone... i could only stare at my monitor and let the tears stream down my face...

sigh... i hope u feel better...

Anonymous said...

Get your head out of the oven and start writing the BEST EVER Tuesday Top 3. I need my fix! We, your devoted (slightly stalkerish - that's just me) readers, need you!

You can do it!
Really, Riese! Really!!!!!

natalie said...

i lost my master's thesis. of course, i was totally procrastinating and finished like 3 minutes before it was due...and then, much like blox-tox aka waterbottle , it was a USB stick nightmare...when i went to the USB stick i KNOW i saved it on (like 80 times), it was gone. GONE. gone gone gone.

also, after staying up all night at college and writing a paper, and then continuing to write it in the spirit line at the detroit airport with marie, my computer crashed.

peter: i knew you only liked me for my laptop!

Laura said...

I was half way through my dissertation, and I decided to give myself a well earned break. So I left the house and went out for a couple of drinks with friends. When I got back, my computer had turned off, which I thought was strange. I then realised with horror when I reopened my dissertation that much of my hard work was no longer there.

Although my housemate never admitted to it, I worked out that he had wanted to use my scanner, but I had put a password on my computer when it fell asleep so people couldn't use it when I was out of the house. Cunningly he managed to restart my iMac only to find that I had also passworded the initial entry to my computer.

If he had asked to borrow my scanner I would've said yes. But he was a sneaky fuck. He was such a wanker.

It happens to the best of us. I found that writing it all out again resulted in a better dissertation, so it was a blessing in disguise.

Razia said...

Although mine wasn't a system crash, this does remind me of an incident that had me wanting to kill myself. It was first year uni and an assignment for Accounting, Reports and Decisions (Yeah. I know what you're thinking. I should've killed myself when I read the unit title) and we had to do a years worth of financial statements for a small business and then provide some lame analysis ie. ur profit margin is so skinny bc u spend too much petty cash on donuts etc etc Anyway so we were required to use MYOB, the accounting program. So here I am procrastinating in grand Raz style, starting to plug in all the transaction details the day before the assignment is due. It turns out that this is quite tedious and it ends up taking me 4 hours to reach the 12th of January's transactions, everything is going good when all of sudden it won't let me type in the date anymore... 13/01/2004 and I'm all the WTF is going on here?! Then it hits me that in America the date is written MM/DD/YYYY as opposed to DD/MM/YYYY here in Australia. I had to start entering all the transations from scratch, rewriting the dates the American way. It's safe to assume that I didn't get any sleep that night and also that MYOB is an American program.

Katie Graham said...

Your work saves when it is bad and crashes when it is good. My senior design paper was on the school network and the network crashed. Also computer related is forgetting to erase internet history after looking at prn or stalking exboyfriends or researching a birthday present.

Ingrid said...

From my reading today, I would guess that being an African woman forced to strip down naked for photographs to be published in 19th century Anthro-porno-gynecological medical books, books that would be perused (and probably jerked of to) by Picasso as source material for paintings that have come to symbolize modernity, would have been worse than software breakdowns. But this isn't meant to take away from your pain; it's all relative! Love you!

amanda said...

Top ten things you'd rather be doing than rewriting this top ten?

Anonymous said...

okay i never comment on anyone's shite. but i will for you. i've actually had several proper mental breakdowns in the past year. more fun than sars and aids combined. like you wouldn't believe. i was having a pretty damn good sleep this morning too and the jerk-off neighbours always fuck that up for me. it's always something, because they're renovating. today it's dragging their one million tonne shipping container (i know, wtf) onto the back of a fucking truck, and yelling about it the whole time. not just 'yeah, good mate' but 'YEAH THAT SHOULD BE RIGHT MATE YEAH ORRIGHT GOOD ON YA YEAH SWEET'. I'm from Australia, obviously. It's 7 in the morning. I WANT AT LEAST ONE MORE FUCKING HOUR. I'm drinking decaf coffee because I'm such a neurotic that I can't drink proper stuff. Anyway, I'm bored with typing now so I'm going to catch up on the rest of your entries. HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD SLEEP IN, SOME GREAT COFFEE, AND .. STUFF.

Pike-a-dilly said...


I've never had a cataclysmic computer catastrophe. ever. But i use PC's. 2 mouse buttons=the win. But you want to hear some sort of sob storie of any nature you say, so i'll think of something non-computer related.


Injury: When i was a lil kid learnin to ride a ike, i didt have a bike to be learnin' on. So i was-a-learnin' how to ride on some other kids bike i knew. His bike was pretty beat up and the handle bar was pushing out through the handle-grip. The handle bars are basicaly fucking steel pipes with sharp round edges. while learning, the handle bars turned on me, and i fell onto the exposed one and basically was impaled. It went into my side making a nice round gaping cut.

II. Retarded:
In something like eighth grade i decided i wanted a big white streak in the back of my hair. I asked a girl how id do that, she said "bleach it". I ran home all excited that day, grabbed a cup and filled it with bleach. My hair was pretty long then, and i stuck the cup on a chair, leaned with my back to the chair in a way that allowed me to place a nice chunk of hair in the cup, then started playing nintendo. every minute or so id reach back and it seemed the hair was slipping out of the cup. so id grab some more and put it in. after something like a half hour of replacing hair into this bleach i decided to go to the bathroom and scope out my kickass whitestreak in my hair. but, "oh no! where the fuck is the hair where there should be a streak!?" The hair wasnt slipping out, it was dissolving in the bleach and iknow had a big ass spot with no hair.

uh, 3 would be a girlfriend thing, but i dont feel like it. so, thats it. have a good day,.

Book Cannibal said...

I have a thyroid disease. The doctors say I will steadily gain weight until September, when I have to wear a tight white dress and get married.

This is one of the worse things that I've ever heard.

Mercury said...

You are so loved. Lots of aussies! Yay. Aussies are cool except, that shampoo with the purple bottles and kangaroos that says put some aussie volume in your hair or whatever? That scares me.

Anyway, head in oven is really bad. It seems like an awkward way to go.

When's the last time a computer fucked me over? I think the band tour story wins most tragic of everything so far, like, that computer was probably unrecognizable, and that loss probably cost the most money/pain/inconvenience. I couldn't compete with that.

But someone's been stealing my products, (ie hair spray & leave in conditioner) and I'm pissed about that? And someone stole Angelo's $260 shears, he was pissed about that. Annnnnnnnnd........ I totally fucked up this haircut the other day, but I've told that story like twice already and I don't feel like typing it out a third time. It's on my blog.

Anyway, if you did kill yourself? Totally go for like, hyperventilation, that seems like a fun way to go, or jumping, a la that computer, and do it with the knowledge that many of your readers would be induced to follow you should you do such a thing, because you are our reason for living, etc. You know, like all the ladies on the l word say when they break up, "I can't live without you!"

Obvs it's totes understood if you don't wanna rewrite this week's top 10.

Love & sympathy & etc

Mariana Marques said...

My heart is with you. Or my pain is with you. there's an expression for this and i just can't remember it. well you get the point.
and is 7am so i deserve a break.
greetings from portugal (i know you didn't ask where i was from but what the heck, i wanted to tell you)