Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Sunday Funday Tuesday Top Ten: Top 10 Weirdos of 2008

When did "weirdo" become the go-to noun for personal greetings? See, all my language is stolen from other thieves, or from an ex, or a BFF. Language is funny like that. I'm going back to school, I'm studying Linguistics. (Other subjects I've claimed I will soon pursue a Master's Degree in, due to recent falling-of-sky, etc.: Education, Welding, Computer Programming, Nursing, Opera.) Because most people I know and/or read about and/or watch on various screens are at least slightly insane, it's always a challenge to select the Top Ten Weirdest Weirdos of 2008. There are so many weirdos. There's obvious choices I'm not allowed to write about, and then other worthy contestants I just didn't include, like Tegan & Sara and eric mathew.

This year we have three repeats from last year's list: Jenny Schecter, Haviland, and me. I will always be number one. Trust me, if last year's number two couldn't beat me out for top spot, then no one can.

Actually I had a hard time writing this, it took forever. I think it's been a really long time since I've actually talked directly about my friends or other living, breathing people who will read this -- like who they really are. I don't know how long it's been, maybe just a few weeks, but possibly that's been a long time for me, relatively?

And now I'm like "what's up, this is me."
Sunday Top Ten: Top Ten Weirdos of 2008
10. Rachel Maddow

"I have a little stockpile of lawn mowers, some of which it has been years since they worked.
But it seems wrong to get rid of lawn mowers, so I keep them."

(Rachel Maddow)
I've enumerated her many virtues many a'time on this here blog because I love Rachel not only for her political acumen & homosexual hair, but also for her weirdo dorkdom. She's the geek the popular girls are too endeared towards to talk shit about. She's bright, earnest, humble, knowledgeable, well-informed. And Rachel crushes aren't really about sexified passion as they are about being sort of warm and settled, intensely satisfied by the quality of life enabled by this supreme physical and intellectual union.

9. Stef

"I really want to express first and foremost that my hair in this photo [on my blog]
is inspired probably 99% by alanis morissette,
the only person in the whole world who really GETS me."
(Stef, on an adolescent photograph)

Stef is Weirdo Pride, one day she will write a book like John Waters yet-unwritten Role Models ("a self-portrait where I write profiles of other people and how much I love them and how much they changed my life and influenced me—famous people, criminals, people you’ve never heard of"). Stef faces every day with a Sharpie on a rope looped around her belt-loop, black eyeliner and sunscreen. Stef, fastest texter in the West, is an obsessive conisseour of all things terrible/AWESOME and their bretheren: JT Leroy, Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson, fedoras, The Spice Girls, Amy Winehouse, Courtney Love, Alison from Intervention, etc. and is "a totally shameless nerd about theme parks, water parks and zoos." She's not just moderately interested in things she is interested in. She's also totally ironic about most of those interests, and ironic about the irony of me using "ironic" to mean whatever I want it to.

I've come to realize life's got a lot to do with who knows what you're referencing when you reference something. If it's something weird, I know Stef will get it.

8. Jenny Schecter

"Well you know what, Kevin? I don't really care what you and your
think about my whereabouts, okay? What the fuck do you think this is, 1952?"

(Jenny, The L Word)

Initially, including Jenny on this list for the second consecutive year brought me joy. Now, I approach this task solemnly 'cause now I know that Jenny's gonna kick the bucket in Season Six. But y'know. What better time to honor her memory? Right-o. In Season Five, Jenny built upon Season Four's steamrolling glory with all new levels of megalomania, but this time her initial divaliciousness changed as the season went on -- ultimately we saw it morph, like a butterfly, into something laced with humility and sadness and a sort of muted humanity that evolved and then self-combusted.

Though I described Jenny as a "manipulative weirdo amazing ball of psychotic joy" early in the season, things changed by season's end. After losing Niki and her film to All About Adele, I described Jenny as a "dark angel from dark angel heaven" and declared "We love you too Jenny! Even though you've combined a doilies with your garbage bag dress for an all-around disaster, it's fine, at least your tights don't have holes, you've grown up so much."

Although often insufferable, she had some really vulnerable/self-important moments in Season One. What I mean is she was only a weirdo insofar as I, also, am a weirdo, and all of us, who think too much about ourselves, are indicted in this too.

7. Natalie

" I just feel I'm not human, more of the animal world. I wish I was an animal & I could have puppies."
(Natalie, on how "moo" became a part of her vocabulary)

Natalie is a very special person who I've been besties with since the year 2001 and now we live together. Sometimes when she knows I can hear, she'll burst into the opening chords of "Circle of Life" or "Jingle Bells" or "Where I Stood" and then I'll sing back, from my room, the next line or two. Natalie's pick-up-the-phone greeting: "Moo moo moo?" Natalie believes there are 24 usable hours in every day and each of these hours is equally adequate for any given activity -- the gym, sleeping, working, phone convos, a long walk in the freezing cold, dinner, breakfast, coffee, etc. Natalie talks to strangers. Strangers on planes, in lines, on the street, apparently in the gynecologist's office, at the car rental place, everywhere. Natalie wants her gynecologist to be her friend and just came into my room to announce that she's pretty sure she could seduce Shane, given the chance.

Natalie is also legitimately brilliant and actively contributes to the betterment of the world via a Women's Rights in Development (whatever that means) NGO.

Natalie watches Office Space every night while she (tries to) sleep. When Natalie comes home, she goes: "Bernie?" and then I go "Rabie?" (variations on our last names) or sometimes we'll switch. Natalie wants to walk to Pinkberry right now, and it's about 23 below zero, windy like apocalypse.

There's this part in My So-Called Life where Angela emotes: "there are so many different ways to be connected to people. There's people you feel an unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for it. There's the people who you've known forever who know you in this way that other people can't because they've seen you change. They've let you change." That's how I feel about Natalie.

6. Andy Warhol

"I wanted to paint nothing.
I was looking for something that was the essence of nothing,
and the soup can was it."
-Andy Warhol
This year I became obsessed with Andy Warhol (coincidentally, it would've been his 75th birthday this year, thus inspiring millions of media tributes) and secondarily, Little Edie, who was my party-fashion icon far before I took the time to learn who she was. I feel like I get him. I don't feel like we could've been friends, but if the dead lived among us, I feel like his ghost and my real self could be friends. You know? "Meeting creative new people -- especially young kids -- was always important to him; he thrived on it. But he knew that people only come to you if they think you have something to offer them."

I want to make the Factory, you know, still I do. I mean that's still the point, I guess, if there is one. We can get Rite-Aid brand tin-foil, print our magazine on all the unused credit card applications that still come every day in the mail as if we've got anything left to owe. I'm 27, for Chrissake!

5. Michael Scott on The Office

"Yes. Money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No.
I'm going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums.
I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money wise."
(Michael Scott, The Office)

If you haven't really watched a sitcom, besides occasionally Arrested Development on DVD, in several years, and if everyone's been telling you to watch The Office and you've thought to yourself; thanks, thanks really but no thanks, when you do, you love it, and watch hours & hours back to back while cleaning .... you eventually begin embodying the spirit of Michael Scott. He's not even my favorite character. After several hours he annoys me. But in some way, sometimes, I get this man.

Though his character is sympathetic but still quite unlikeable, one often desires to inappropriately interrupt people diligently doing work because work is what one does with pointless, poorly executed hijinks and other totally non-productive activities in the name of "having fun." You can see this effect directly in our NewNowNext movie.

4. Autumn
"ok so i read, re-read, and re-re-read this post. sadly i am at a loss.
maybe i would understand if i would have read the book. that might have helped.
just a little. but the one thing i understood was that hitler sucks."

(one of autumn's first comments ever, on the Oscar Wao book club post )

Starting now the Weirdo Commenter of the Year will be an official designation with a voting process. However I received a lemon tree last week in the mail, therefore cinching Autumn's auto-win. The tree's currently living in our living room. Natalie's singing to it.

Here's the thing: back when we made the 'zine, Autumn declared: "not that your poems arent great and stuff, but i think i can pass on buying stuff, especially when i dont get it." We clearly took action mailed Autumn a 'zine immediately, therefore extending an olive branch to the red stated plains of Kansas, where Autumn lives. But obviously she was already turning around even before receiving the 'zine and becoming the best commenter ever. She even took a photo of her 'zine with Lieutenant Teddy and emailed me a photo of her toilet-paper-hosted list of Cool people, and I was totally on it! Rock!

As I write to you today, Autumn has sent us a lemon tree, no longer lists Jesus as top interest on facebook, and voted for Obama. That means I [kinda indirectly in this sitch, but whatevs] influenced 5 people to vote for Obama this year. That's pretty much my biggest accomplishment of the year. Srsly.

I mean, seriously, actually. It does mean a lot to me to engage someone in a dialogue about political issues that's not possible in their 3-D lives. I think it's really cool.

"If I told u where I was and what I'm doing right now, u might wanna kill yourself.
Alternative universe faux reals."

-Haviland, BBM, yesterday.

Haviland is a weirdo still just like last year. Actually, she's even weirder, 'cause I think we are all getting super weird with age.


2. Caitlin
"A hoodie does not a critter make."

A quick confession: I listen in, you should know this. I pick up voices, phrases, words, expressions, we swap and cut and paste and incorporate and then develop an intricate and multi-sourced linguistic web. After Cait & I landed in L.A. in February, Haviland declared "you guys are totally talking the same." Some melding of cadence, volume, vocab ... later we determined it probs made it really irritating to hang out with [all of] us. But still, we go on; i have a lot of feelings right now, time for sleepy sloos, this makes me itchy, okay i have a lot of feelings about this first of all, team meeting, i have a lot of questions for [person], hot panic, my head's gonna explode, mouthing off, talking crazy, crazytown, and really an endlessly bountiful bevy of phrases and words we've picked up this year. Like I said in the intro, I'm sort of interested in linguistics these days. When I say "these days" I mean it, 'cause I usually keep an obsession for about 3-4 days.

Caitlin prefers to be the one sitting or lying on the floor and is grossed out by the thought of hot soup.

Caitlin is frequently mistaken for the elevator guy, a situation that [in order to be true] would require serious time travel (which luckily I love), I mean who still uses elevator operators? Paddington Bear or something? By "Caitlin is frequently mistaken for the elevator guy" I mean that when other people enter the elevator and Caitlin is in it, they are inclined to announce, loudly, their intended floor: "TWELVE!" "FOUR!" "THIRTY-TWO" expecting her to press the button.

Anyhow: who among us have not wanted someone else to make that final action, anyhow, the action directed by your choice, let someone else conduct as to how far up you'll be going, how high you can get. Who among us haven't dared to lean against the mirrored walls of that tiny industrial transportation machine with the confidence and surrender and complacency of a person traveling but not conducting, traveling sweetly and laughing, not a care in the world besides to, once you get off into the world; to save it. The thing is, she does do it. She does press the button for them, and it happens all the time. Usually in the time it takes for someone to yell "TEN!", for her to press the button and for us to arrive at our floor, we can hold the laughter and laughter-inducing looks in. More often we can't, and so we laugh and smile as we go up into the air. And so on.

1. Riese

Because I still write this blog. Wouldn't it be funny if this was like when Time made "YOU" the person of the year with a reflective cover? I remember thinking it was "YOU-tube," I just couldn't see the "tube" from the street when the cover flashed by. That'd be funny if I could do that here. They'll invent that soon I bet. Then ... who will be Number One? Huh? Joe? Joe Who? Joe Mama, totes.

In conclusion, one may ask oneself -- "how does one become a prestigious weirdo?" You may notice that this year's list does not include idiots from OurChart or soulless bisexual dating show contestants, like last year's. That's 'cause I've grown & changed and feel it's more important to honour only weirdos with good hearts rather than wasting one's time on the scourge of the earth.

One becomes a weirdo by harboring strange obsessions, maintaining inconvenient neuroses, greeting prescribed situations with unexpected behaviors, being someone that I love, etc. Any sort of functional yet serious psychological disorder enhances one's weirdo-hood, though it is not necessary for your success. One becomes a weirdo by paying attention, and, consequentially, totally freaking out about it. This freakout is the most beautiful thing forevs and evs, I promise. Don't trust me, but I promise for real!


eric mathew said...

It's an honor just to be nominated.

I will write more... as of now I have just skimmed the surface. Anyhoo I have to say that photo montage of havstill is so great. Kinda turns me on. She is so hot. Anyway.. i made my network tv debut tonight. redic. check my profile pic on the fbook. dlist moment #2.

and in the words of phil collins...

"So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space. And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face. Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space."

but i promise to write more (obvs.)

out like a gay boy,
eric mathew

Razia said...

I've come to realize life's got a lot to do with who knows what you're referencing when you reference something.


Word verif is "undiz" which is Australian for underwear.

Elizabeth said...

'Scourge of the earth' is one of my most favorite phrases ever.

I just realized that I have nothing really interesting or witty to say about your list and that saddens me. And my writing degree. Hrmph.

Vashti said...

Remember that one time when you were wondering what your blog is about? Obvs it's about weirdos. It's a blog written for weirdos about weirdos by weirdos. And I love it. Just sayin'.

Moving on.. I have a few things to say:

- This post made me realize just how many words/phrases I've picked up from reading this blog. Now I know who else I have to thank for my expanded vocab. That being said: Thank you Caitlin for saying awesome things! =]

- You say Stef knows a thing or two about zoos. Then I must know! Stef: Say you're watching Jeopardy and there's a question about Brookfield Zoo asking where it is or something, WOULD YOU KNOW?! I'm just sayin'.. Cuz a few years ago this very situation came up and I remember being really upset when the guy had no idea what or where Brookfield Zoo was while I was there yelling obscenities at the teevee about how obvs it's in Chicago. HELLO! How do people not know these things?

- I love/hate Michael Scott.

- My word verif is prize. I find it fitting for a Sunday Top Ten post. See?

Razia said...

Remember that one time you tagged me with one of those lame tag things? And I was nice about it? And I totes did it? Well,


Vashti said...

Oh, btw, totally off topic BUT I feel like I've been pimpin' out your blog a lot lately. Srsly, I've been linking people left and right. I don't know what exactly it is that keeps making me tell everyone..

Probs the giving season.

Crystal said...

Nice pick of weirdos. I think it's the first time ever that you've written a Top Ten list and I've actually understood every single reference/list item. I guess it's easier when the majority are real people and not something or someone to do with American culture/pop culture that I missed because I live far far away. Although I think if there were a Top Ten weirdo that could actually become an American pop culture icon, it would be Stef. I don't think this makes sense, I forgot my point.

stef said...

vashti, i've never been to a zoo in chicago but i bet i'd love it. i love anything with a waterslide or a monorail or anything that reminds me to save the rainforest, which i think i'm doing properly but i can't really be sure. last time i went to the zoo i learned about giant mongooses (mongeese?) with big yellow eyes who eat lemurs. watch out.

this year we celebrate here, but next year we hope to celebrate at six flags in israel. i'm still mad i never got to go on kingda ka.

ok so i am not sure how i ended up behind jenny shecter, but the only person i have beat is this rachel maddow woman, so that's something. i'm touched. also i find no irony in my ironic obsessions, i think i'm just a scorpio who's periodically excited about really terrible things. it's ironic like mr play it safe who was afraid to fly, or whatever.

that haviland sure is pretty.

Vashti said...

Chicago actually has TWO zoos. Brookfield Zoo [for those on the west&south sides] and Lincoln Park Zoo [for those on the north side]
The more you know!

Anonymous said...

Well, if you learn nothing else from Flashdance, welding will get you nowhere unless you're a stripper on the side. If, however, you begin a master's program for stripping, there's a substantial chance I'll join.

a;ex said...

I agree completely, word for word, with what Crystal said. I wanted to copy and paste it here 'cause I'm original like that.
But instead if you simply substitute "because I live far far away" with "because I'm an oblivious oaf," then it applies to me.

Yep, Caitlin says the most amazing things ever and her phrases continue to be the way I choose to express myself... Feelings, head explosions, etc.

I think I have serious affections for everyone on this list. Great use of "Joe mama" by the way.

What a collection of ridiculous human beings.

Bokolis said...

So, basically, weirdos are just people being themselves. I suspect that non-weirdos don't read this blog.

I can't see the pics on The Man's network, but I gather there isn't a set of poom-poom shorts in the bunch. I'm pretty sure that wearing poom-poom shorts for no aparent reason is one of the weirdo prerequisites.

Hence, the word verif: waylo

carlytron said...

I would still like to maintain that I am the weirdest person I know, but this list is pretty good too.

JD said...

Agreed with everyone, love the list. Listening to Rachel Maddow's podcast the other day I heard her say that one of her nerdy obsessions is infrastructure, and I almost toppled over into the Philly subway tracks (which probs wouldn't have been good, but considering that SEPTA is just barely more efficient than horse'n'buggy, it may have turned out ok) bc it's also one of my favorite obsessions. And I guess the fact that I'm openly admitting that here just cements my weirdo-ness.

Bren said...

I’m 147% in support of the Factory.

caitlin said...

the elevator thing happened the other day, it's so out of control now that it's not even funny anymore. it was also an up/down only option, like oh really you want to go up? i thought we'd just stay here foreves. the little girl i babysit for loves to lay on the floor, we're soulmates in a nonromantical sense. excellent list i am in full agreement. there was definitely a time from mid feb to late april that we must have been completely insufferable for other people to be around, hands down totes for sure. also-- thank you.

caitlin said...

oh also, love that natalie moos, yet wants to have puppies. there is something animal like about her for sure though, i feel like i have definitely petted her head and it felt totally normal. eh, i'm a weirdo.

Haviland Stillwell said...

I love that I've moved up in the world of weirdos! This is better than the annual Vanity Fair Hollywood power list, obvs! I think my favorite thing about me on this list is that it required no words. Only my text from this weekend, which definitely would have made all of your heads explode to know what was happening ("what's happening? what's happening???"- susan powter) ...just pictures rappresenting my weirdo-dom. I'll take it. And also, thanks for the compliments, my fellow weirdos. We all have a lot to aspire to here in Auto-Land.

MoonKiller said...

I love weirdos, they're my favourite type of people. 'There is nothing worse in life than being ordinary' - name that film!

When my friend James and I talk no one really understands us. So many stupid things we've said have become part of our everyday vocab and have actual meanings now. Like all week we've been saying 'there's always crumbs' which pretty much means everything's not lost. And we always say 'it's all gone tits arse' instead of 'tits up'.

riese said...

eric mathew: As you know, Eric was in the running for the initial list. I feel compelled to include him on this ammended list because Eric commented on the initial list with a series of letters/"words" covering such topics as his tv debut and phil collins.

Razia: I feel like Australians sometimes add "Rs" into random words so I feel like Australian for underwear is maybe "undirz."

Elizabeth: Writing degrees are super useful these days, aren't they?

Vashti: You're right, my blog is totally about weirdos. "It's a blog written for weirdos about weirdos by weirdos." = perfect.

Yes there's even more words involved than I could possibly say. It's kinda funny cause a large percentage of last year's vocab was, I admit, taken from my ex who was the first one to even call me "autowin" or coin "hands down totes" (i used it, she re-used it)

Razia: Oh man, now who am I gonna tag? Rachel and Crystal and you would be my go-tos. I'm gonna tag Gawker and Ariana Huffington.

Vashti: You are doing a fantastic service to everyone in the world. They will thank you for it, like Autumn has thanked me.

Crystal: I think your point is that this is a blog that is understood by a small elite group in which you are a member. I think Stef will one day reach iconic status really it is only a matter of time.

stef: Your point about irony is the same point as my point I think, or at least they are married points.

Did you ever eat that stuff called Rainforest Crunch or whatever? It was in the 90's, I feel like it was crackerjacks. Maybe I'm confusing it with a ben&jerry's flavor but I feel like it existed, and benefited the rainforest somehow.

Also I'm glad you could incorporate the Talmud into your comment.

Haviland is pretty. I've never noticed that before, but I think you have a point.

The ranking was somewhat arbitrary, I confess. I felt no-one belonged in the top five who hadn't been pre-warned.

Vashti: I hate zoos, but I'm sure Stef will take this into account.

burningsteady: I think a master's program for stripping is probs an MFA in any artistic field that will be totally unprofitable for the duration of a young student's life. On Intervention there were a bunch of welders on meth, so I'm thinking I should maybe stay away after all.

a;ex: I wouldn't say oblivious oaf, more like oblivious small mammal, you know, something very cute but also totally out of it at all times.

Thank you for commending my use of Joe Mama. Everyone I know is ridiculous. You too. Oaf.

Bokolis: Yes, weirdos are people being themselves when themselves is a weirdo. Also wearing poom-poom shorts, or using the term "poom-poom shorts" is another requirement.

carlytron: I don't know, I feel like Saffron is kind of weird too, but you are more complicated than Saffron so. I do say 'Carly you're such a weirdo' quite a bit. I might have to make a second list.

JD: I didn't realize infratstructure had a specific meaning and not just a general meaning. the fact that you and rachel both know its specific meaning makes you both total weirdos, obviously.

Bren: If I could just get my hands on 147% more funding, we'll be good to go .

caitlin: One of my favorite things about the elevator situation is that i have never, ever, not once, not ever, seen you wear anything remotely "formal." When you wear jeans and a button-up shirt, I feel like you are getting very fancy. And elevator operators I always thought wore fancy-pants. Maybe you just look like you've got it on lockdown. Which is another phrase I got from you.

Natalie has never seen actual farm animals, maybe, unlike me, I grew up on a farm. Or rather my Dad did, that's not actually me, but it's in my genes. I know all about calfs. That seems wrong now that I've typed it out. I always pet Natalie 'cause hen she makes cat-being-petted noises, which makes me feel like it's the right thing to do.

Haviland Stillwell: It totally is. Because what are people gonna do with power, you know? you can't sell power on ebay, you can't just trade power in for a cow on the street, or any old girl off the block or chip off the block. What the world needs now is more weirdos. What's even going on right now? So many feelings!

Moonkiller: American Beauty obvs, right? The Mena Suavari character says it, I think. Yes? Yes? We have things like that too, phrases no one else gets. Like Really Papi would be a primary example. Actually i can think of a lot. some of them from other people's drunk comments. Etc.

Bren said...

Re: The Factory

Out of curiosity, how much funding would it take? I have no realistic concept of the resources required to launch something like that.

DJL said...

I am hurt. How dare you call me normal!

autumn m said...

im honored. This made my day. I have a lot of things I want to say but for the sake of time, wont. But, I do want to say, thanks. (Getting all sentimental now) I am not the same person I was before I started reading this. For real. I have learned oh so much stuff that I would have never ever heard of if it wasn’t for this blog and these people. I know it sounds all cheesy and such...but really I feel like this blog and everyone here has had a hand in helping me change the kind of person I was. You don’t even know. Blah blah blah (more nice this being said). So thanks. A lot.
All that being said, I had a really weird dream about lip gloss. As in I bought like a dump truck full of lip gloss like it was going out of style. I woke up and was all…"WTF was that."

Al said...

I'm so glad Michael Scott is on this list.
Finals week, so my brain is incapable of coming up with anything else "comment worthy."
Once finals are done with I will be kicking ass and tacking names regarding NaNoWriMo... now better known as Decimberimo.

Oo Lynnie oO said...

"I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms" Michael Scott.


Oo Lynnie oO said...

btw I totally always read Autumn's comments because they are so entertaining

my word veri is 'mishap' ...thats a real word i don't even have to try to associate it to something else

supr said...

i cant comment on this post, too much of it speaks to me without me being able to speak back. which speaks to the fact that i dont think i read your warhol post originally, possibly because the first few paragraphs just scared me, but it was beautiful. defensive, on point, real and beautiful. i am specifically and purposefully NOT an "over-sharer", but i admire the crap out of anyone capable of it. the last picture you used of haviland in the pyramid is gorgeous (shocked face). i constantly use other peoples words as my own and then look around the group to see who recognizes that im a sham, and those that do know me (and pop culture) the best. see? i dont make sense, but i do when im reading you, and that may not always translate well with my own written word but it means a lot here in my cave. (yes, referencing you).

Elizabeth said...

My writing degree is very useful. I use it to... write silly blogs and notes and to correct grammar and spelling on my sisters' facebook pages. And right now I'm using it to... take art classes? For another very useful degree- an MFA in some sort of design. Not sure what I'll end up doing, but when I grow up I want to be just like you. Or Amanda Palmer.

Tati Karoli said...

MooooooooOOOOOOO. really, that's all there is to say.

love you, bernie--and loved the post. such great people on the top ten.

i just want to throw out there that my father-george-is also a huge weirdo. not unlike rachel maddow, he collects clowns. one might say he has a stockpile. he feels it is wrong to throw them away.

thank you for this-and for being you. also, cait, speaking about elevators, remember when we were stuck in the elevator and i pulled the doors open out of sheer terror? hmmmm. that was fun.

loooove, natalie

sameera said...

so, um, i was perusing blogger, minding my own business (well not really), and then BAM. i end up at your blog and it kicks me in the face. (yes, i totally stole that from you.) needless to say, i proceeded to read a bunch of your writings, watch your vids, and basically turn into a big fat stalker. lol don't worry, i'm not crazy and don't live anywhere near you, so there's no cause for alarm. just wanted to say that your writing is pretty amazing (obvs) and that the nytimes should totally consider making a special weirdo section just for you. :)

MoonKiller said...

Yes, obvs.

riese said...

Bren: Probably about $5,000 to start what we want to start -- it was an actual plan we were formatting before the sky fell. One of our main objectives was to be a place where writers got paid for their work and I think my refusal to let go of that requires an aspired-to level of excellence that is probs gonna be super expensive, maybe even more. I dunno. I've never understood money., I just have a lot of ideas.

DJL: I did not call you normal.

autumn m: aw, you warm my heart. we like you, we really like you!

That dumptruck sounds like my kind of heaven.

Al:How does everyone feel about Jananweirmo? I think my ambition has been curbed slightly by the knowledge that if all the publishing houses cease new acquisitions, I can no longer motivate myself by thinking of the joy on my agent's face when I give it to her.

Oo Lynnie oO "Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be. "

supr: everything that you say warms my heart like my heart was a pop tart and your comment was a new toaster! maybe even a toaster OVEN.

Elizabeth: I use it to yell at people who don't get my literary references like they are neandrathal monkey morons and I am big smart book girl. So far that hasn't done much for me socially.

Tati Karolli: TAttaaaa? Taaaabieeeee? I am really scared about George's clown room. If I was afraid of clowns I might have a clown nightmare! I'm sure you'll still be awake when that happens. moooo!

sameera: Yay i love it when that happens! thanks! Don't worry, no one actually stalks me and I'm sure you're very thin.

MoonKiller: Obvs.

asher said...

oh hey weirdo... by the way, you're officially a blogstar.*


*apparently, a blogstar is made when two blogs i read completely separate from one another become united in the lovely little world of the interwebs.

Bren said...

A) Would it be cheaper if it was online only, like Velvetpark is now? Only better than Velvetpark, ‘cause it kind of sucks and is inaccurate.

B) Also you could try to delay compensation. Maybe pay writers a portion of the proceeds after publication instead of up front.

C) I’m sure you’ve already thought about this, but what about advertising? Pinkberry alone owes you 5 grand.

Just throwing that out there.

riese said...


We are definitely looking to do online only, and absolutely want to use advertising. The problem is that advertising doesn't pay that much at first (especially now, everyone is hesitant) and most places have had trouble figuring out how to make websites profitable through advertising.

Doing a print startup would require massive funds and that's not really my idea at the moment.

Ideally we'd find a sponsor who would take on a big bulk of the funding, like how companies own sports arenas and shit. But we only want to use advertisers who sell products we like and/or believe in -- the theme is honesty, as in -- we will push products, but it won't be sneaky, and we will mean it. Like I really do think pinkberry is delicious and Puma bags are cute, but I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that Revlon mascara is gonna change your life or you should go see Role Models in theaters.


Bren said...

Wait! You mean you are not willing to sell your soul and your principles for the almighty dollar?! That is so incredibly noble and unheard of. I want you to succeed even more now. And if there is such a thing as karma you will.

Jocelyn said...

Hello there! I just discovered you today and I am not even sure through who or from what path I just happened upon you and I adore you! I am very excited to see what else you have to share with the world!