Thursday, December 04, 2008

Automatic Fun House of the Day: 12.4.2008

When I stand on the windowsill and lower the windowpane I can see into other people's windows, right across the alley. I could do this all day. In Williamsburg, there was a couple we used to watch. While watching, I'd think; we could just as easily be the couple in the other window, if only we wanted totally different things than the things that we actually want.

I think I should've gone to school for web design programming or whatevs it's called. I want to be the person who can type in the special codes to make things look right on the interwebs. How many times have you been willing to die for a person like that? So many times. I've been trying to teach myself HTML, a quest that began in 1996. I've got italics down now, but tinkering with basic templates can be tough.

Also, I deleted my Google Reader feed on this blog 'cause I wanted to change it, but instead of changing it, Google Reader invited my entire address book to read my shared items in a deceptively personal-looking email. If you are one of those people, I'm sorry. And no, I don't really want to share any items with you, but thanks for checking in. JK I love everyone, please link me pot psychology.

No really, I have a weirdness with Google Reader, I use it very specifically. Most sites I read every day I won't have on my feed, I'll just check in -- Jezebel, Gawker, HuffPo, The New York Times, Arts & Letters. Etc.

Quote: “The same week of high school that I quit track, I missed a math test. I never missed math tests but woke up that morning and something about the sun through the curtains, rolling out in its smooth ivory rays, made me unable to move. The world can ask you to participate, but it's a day by day decision if you want to agree to that proposal.” (aimee bender, an invisible sign of my own)
1. Aggressive capitalism has come to an end: "our future has never been brighter." (@ode magazine)
2. Paul Carr challenges Evening Standard film critic Nick Curtis to try Twitter for a week (@guardian uk) -- after Curtis wrote, after using twitter for two hours, that Twitter was "endless prattle from people with too much time and too little imagination" and "facebook statuses on crack," Carr makes Curtis try it for a week 'cause he used to think so too, and after a friend made him the same one-week deal, he's come to think that "Twitter, unlike Facebook, has the power to change the world." (@the guardian uk)
3. The Days of Their Lives - Lesbians Star in the funny pages of Alison Bechdel's "Essential Dykes to Watch Out For" (@nytimes)
4. Norton's Writers Recommend - includes Diane Ackerman, Andre Dubus III and Nicole Krauss. (@writers recommend)
5. Best Book Designs of the Year 2008 (@nytimes) and A Year in Reading 2008 (@the millions)
6. Princess Leia's wild, bipolar adventures (
7. Maureen Dowd's What Tiny Fey Wants (@vanity fair) and Emily Gould's take on it: "if this is the best magazines can do, then they deserve to die." (@emily magazine)
8. If you haven't already seen it: Prop 8 the Musical ! Sarah Chalke (LOZO!), Jack Black, John C. Reily, Margaret Cho, Maya Rudolph, Neil Patrick Harris and MORE! (@funny or die)
9. The "Mad Men" dilemna: why you might be suffering from Quality Show Fatigue. (@nymag)
10. In Which it Happened That Night: after canceling her 10-day membership to the NYC Republicans Club (the first person to ever do so) -- "my brief stint as a Republican was purely an all access pass into their election night event (“Victory 2008!”), which I attended, more or less, for my own amusement." (@this recording)
11. Check out Olympia Zagnoli, the illustrator who made that over there [15 Ways to Sleep on a Train]

Last time, I brought you insomnia poetry of randomly assembled lines from my 2000 diaryland account. This time, I wanted to do the same thing -- but realized it's not the same with paper diaries that were written to be private. So I bring you livejournal randomly assembled poetry. This has three stanzas or whathaveyou.


I just want to drive in the sunshine,
listen to sugarcult too loud.
Maybe if Britney Spears
was my girlfriend then it would be o.k.
If I knew what was wrong, I could fix it. But I don't.
(march 2002)

This week begins Operation: Enduring Relationship.
Plan: you must love Stephen Dunn, strange food,
fantasies of trips to South America, art you don't understand,
theater, stories, books. My stories.
I want you to know me.
(october 2002)

this is our dog, oscar, eating his dinner
tonight i had salmon, baked potato and a spinach-feta-driedcherries-olive-oil salad.
I made it myself.
tonight, oscar had dog food.
that is one of many differences between oscar and i.
(december 2002)



Mercury said...

the middle part of the magnetic poetry is awesomeful.


I've never been willing to die for someone who can do code, but I don't have very high code demands. My dad wanted me to learn python which I guess is a programming language? a long time ago, and I did learn a few things.

unrephia is my word ver. again with the word verifications that could be real words. I feel like this one also is some kind of condition one would suffer with. they suffer from a lack of reph, obvs.

Anonymous said...

I, too, was really irritated by the Maureen Dowd article. I mean, I want to see Tina Fey naked as much as the next girl, but seriously? I'm pretty sure I could spend the rest of my life listening to Tina Fey talk - she's so smart, so funny, and that's all Maureen Dowd can offer me? That Tina Fey dropped some weight? Got a better haircut? Jesus. Hand back the UVA degree, Tina, you clearly don't need it anymore.

Bren said...

For two weeks in 2002 a mysterious couple met in the parking lot outside my office window to have relations on their lunch break. The entire office turned into voyeurs spending their lunch time at my window sill. Someone in another office eventually called the cops and ruined it all.

That was the best two weeks ever.

a;ex said...

It's kind of really adorable when you spell things wrong.

JD said...

Thanks for the Dowd and Gould links. I feel the same way as Gould- I think the article had the potential to induce a lot of feelings, but unfortunately there was only disappointment.
Gould implied, and a little more explicitly I agree, that this tabloid-y style of reporting/editorializing is what Dowd does. Sometimes I find her column funny, but overall just find it sad, and again, disappointing, that her job description at NYT has become "contributes to the soap-opera-dramatization of each election season and in the off-season, continues thinly-veiled high school bitchy attacking of the Bushes and Clintons."
I disagree with Gould though that the article doesn't take the slant that Fey achieved her 15 minutes due to her intelligence and work ethic. I think that those two parts still come through all the vanity (sorry for bad pun).

stef said...

MAN, are you lucky to know me.
what do you want fixed, weirdo?

riese said...

Mercury: First!

Much like Project Enduring Freedom, Project Enduring Relatoinship sort of fell flat on its face. He wasn't good at reading books it turned out. I think I just didn't want to have to find a new apartment.

Python, yeah? What is it with computer people and wild animals, they want everything to be a jungle cat or fierce snake.

burningsteady: When our allegedly most powerful female journalists have nothing else to say besides weight loss info, we are really hurting. Like as a country.

Bren: I wonder if they knew you were watching, I feel like sometimes people want people to look, like that's the idea, or part of the thrill. why call the cops?

a;ex: afjsajgkajkajgkjg.

JD:Here's the part where I wish I knew more about Maureen Dowd than I do. I feel like I read about Maureen Dowd more than I actually read Maureen Dowd, and also think a lot about how she was dating aaron sorkin when he was writing the West Wing. I suppose there's plenty of men already doing the same thing -- seeking the sensationalism and soap opera over the truth and heart of a story (*cough*Hitchens)-- I just wish we had as many women NOT doing that thing to balance it out as men have. I don't know if that makes sense.

stef: No you're lucky to know me, 'cause I gots it on LOCKDOWN, thus no sweat for stef.

JD said...

Riese, I think that makes a lot of sense. I read a lot of Hitchens, and yet your point hadn't occurred to me while I was writing my comment about Dowd. So, good point. And, I agree with you about wishing there were more balance. There aren't even close to enough women on Op-Ed pages to begin with (just using that forum as an example) to even have a chance of others balancing Dowd.

Crystal said...

I love that in 2002 you thought maybe you'd want Britney to be your girlfriend. That's kind of amazing. In 2002 I wanted Mel Gibson to be my boyfriend. Things have changed a lot since then.

Al said...

Oh how I enjoy people watching. Especially on a college campus. The nut cases and overly PDA-lovin couples are endless.

autumn m said...

so who's the hottie in the picture.......oh wait its riese!!!!! duh.
so.... DID YOU GET IT!!! Cause it left the Bronx this morning at 8. now, i don’t really know where that is in relation to you, but it seems close-ish. but i could be wrong. Which is probably really likely.
and i love Margaret Cho!! she cracks me up. prop 8 the musical is by far my fav musical ever.

Torrie said...

Your blog caused the library computer to freeze. Thought this might make you proud. Tata

laura said...

"facebook statuses on crack" makes me want to try it.

eric mathew said...

i like this autumn. she seems sweet. I feel like I was the only one who wasn't blown away by Prop 8 the musical. Don't get me wrong, i thought it was so creative and Marc Shaiman is very talented... I just wish it was a little longer. I;m just bursting with ideas... if we wasn't in a recession I would do a small reading of it at Joe's Pub you know a little gathering some alcohol. I would let you read stage directions as well as put in whitty commentary some could call you the narrator. Semi could play drums (obvs). Havstill she would sing. I would direct and choreograph (obvs, duh). I am still working on fun jobs for Carly, Robin (who I really like) and Caitlin. It would be HUGE. Cheyenne has already expressed interest as did some other great peeps.

but alas we are in a recession and this has to be put on the back burner.

i am stressed out because i have to be at the fucking beverly hills four seasons at 10 am which means i don't know what time to leave the studio... i mean la traffic... who knows anymore? i just hope kate hudson and anne hathaway are nice or i won't be able to enjoy devil wears prada or almost fanous ever again.

j/k i can.

i bought an ecco friendly water bottle. i'm like fucking kimora. she was ecco friendly in one episode of her show.

i read this great article on janet nopalitano. she is a fire ball. her and hillary... i see lots of fun. but like working fun. like going overseas... idk. i'm listening to shoshana's cd. it's great. i think you would like it. you could listen to it when you walk down the street. i don't walk. i glide. like carrie bradshaw.

omg wtf. why do i keep typing. i will stop for tonight. i think it's cause i look at my clock and its already like late in nyc and its not here and im like guh if only i was tired.

DJL5K said...

Hi Marie Lyn Bernard!

Leah said...

I got this link from my gf this morning. Can we discuss sometime soon? I need to know what to do/believe/wear to the burial. SPOILER ALERT, LADIES AND GENTS. L WORD STYLE.

riese said...

JD: Yeah I think we definitely need a balance. I think people approach male journalists as neutral voices, allowing them to be so ridic as to fawn over Sarah Palin etc. And then women are the gendered voice -- so if we could only just balance! Then we could read so many articles by women that we stop noticing who wrote it.

Crystal: I can't believe I wanted Britney to be my girlfriend. I remember I had a black and white photo of her over my desk that I'd gaze at a lot. I also never actually thought I'd date a girl ever, so maybe I wasn't all that far ahead.

Al: I'm trying to remember if I ever saw anything from my room at college. I feel like I didn't.

autumn m: Oh we got it!!! It came in last night at like 9pm. Apparently there are serious instructions involving garden soil to keep the tree alive, and we have no soil because this is Manhattan. I think Natlaie is going to the gardening store right now to get a pot and soil, currently it is inside an ice bucket with lots of wet towels around it, like the instructions said. Natalie has already sung songs to it and told it that she loved it a few times.

Torrie: It did? Probs 'cause of the liberal media elite.

laura: I know, who doesn't love crack?

eric mathew: Well I don't think it was meant to be a musical, it was just meant to be a cute little thing, the joke being that it was a musical.

There's a few amazing language choices in this comment. One of them is "whitty." The other is "Havstill" as an abbrev for Havi, I know she'll llove it. Um, I hope you did good with the traffic. I feel like if I was going to the four seasons, I'd probs go the night before and see if I could snag a bed.

DJLFK: oh hiii!

Leah: Oh, I did that already this morning!

autumn m said...

i really feel like you should take a picture of your tree. i would like to see if it sucks or not. and why was it delivered at 9? wtf UPS. sorry about the whole, you need soil to keep it alive, thing. if i would have known it didnt come with that crap, i would have bought you some.
so.......i totally got a raise today. yay

riese said...

ooo congrats on the raise. I put the tree in the soil by the window and when natalie and i are both home we will for sure take a photo. i'd like to do a video of her singing to the tree because that is really classic natalie. it came with lemons! one of them fell right off the tree. so before long we will basically have a tropical paradise in our living room!!

autumn m said...

i made sure i got one that had lemons already on it. you know i didnt want you to have to wait for lemons. that would just be rude.

LaLaLaLaLozo said...

Could Sarah Chalke have been LESS involved in that? Jesus. There is no one more underrated in terms of hotness and talent than Sarah Chalke.