Tuesday, August 15, 2006

In the Flesh and Stephen for Hottest Agent: All the Cameras, Come Out, for a Public Affair, All Night, Let's Rock

Outline of Blog Post:
I. Stephen's Blog
a) Early DMLA
b) DMLA now
c) Make fun of Stephen

II. My Reading
a) Delf-deprication
b) Talk about Haviland and make jokes
i. Talk about our costumes
c) Date/time/location/etc

So when I started at DMLA in the spring of '05, my primary duties involved sitting in the kitchen with Rachel and Cameron, eating yogurt bowls, making fun of bad query letters and talking about the various dudes that Rachel went on dates with. Then Rachel left for another agency and Stephen Barbara joined our fine team, injecting the office with a big dose of MAN. He even dressed up for work and showed up on time!
Luckily, Stephen also talked about his dates, like how he thought his ex-girlfriend had a better ass than mine, which is dubious. Also he called it a "bedonk-a-donk." And I was wearing my best-ass-framing jeans (the Juicys, for those of you who who are familiar with my collection) that day. I call Stephen "Rambo" because I think it's funny. Stephen just started a blog. This means that he's added blogging to his daily duties, which previously included "checking soccer scores" and "not reading books."

Stephen doesn't need to read books unless they are written by dead Russian guys or his clients, which is pretty much the opposite of my reading habits.

Unfortunately, because I have no reputation to protect, I'll say just about anything on my blog. Or, you know, put a photo of Stephen on Rambo's body, because that makes me laugh. His blog is called 'Rambo the Agent.' Since i came up with that nickname, I'm gonna get most of the roys on his blog including foreign roys and sub-rights for audio film pay-through options or WHATEVER.

Tomorrow night, you could:
1. Have sex
2. Go watch people read stories about sex.

I know that "1" sounds better, but sometimes it really isn't, you know?

So there's this reading tomorrow night called In the Flesh, and there'll be some people there reading stories. For ten minutes you will get to see Me read, with my friend, Broadway Star Haviland P. Stillwell, reading dialogue for all the characters except me, the narrator. How will I pack that much fun into ten minutes, you may ask? Well, because I talk very fast, just ask my therapist who has to listen to me pack 24 years of mental trauma and it's impact on 7 days of my traumatic life into our weekly 45 minute sessions. Also Haviland and I will be wearing cute outfits, probably. I even got my nails polished and the color is "wicked," then I smudged most of it by digging for my cellphone in my bag, but whatever. That reminds me of how Rachel would paint my fingernails black when we were supposed to be doing work and Don said 'What is this, a slumber party?' (See that, see how I brought that back around? There's more where that came from, playas!!)

So it's at the Happy Endings Lounge. 302 Broome Street. At 8pm. I have a little plug in my sidebar. Bla bla bladi bla bla.

Also, it's sort of like a "meet the stars" event because a lot of people who I talk about in my blog will be at the reading, e.g., Stephen.


Stephen said...

You left em' speechless.

marie lyn bernard said...

hellllls yeah!

Haviland said...

I can't wait to meet the stars! ;)