Friday, September 11, 2009

Here's The Post Where I Finish Answering Your 192 Questions

Forever ago I asked you to ask me questions and you did and I answered a whole bunch of them but not all of them. The comments are open this time in case you have any feelings you want to share. We feel our feelings, you know? True story. Feel the warm. Share your feelings.

I have been working on an actual blog post, about last year. It's annoying b/c I have to figure out how to stop being so preemptively defensive of myself when I write my stories. I'm banging this shell.

With most problems (e.g., being too judgey of myself) I can recognize the problem and then consequently begin to fix it through awareness or at least be aware that I am not fixing it, but this retrospective self-doubt I feel while writing is hard to fix! Probs doesn't help that somehow everyone I've dated has been super judgey about my Lives Before Them. Not my ex-boyfriend Christopher. He was more present-tense critical, but also didn't really ever know who I was. We lived together in an apartment and he liked his socks folded together in pairs instead of wrapped or tied together b/c he said that made them last longer even if it took up too much space in our dresser. Also his Mom did crack while he was in the womb. So he barely remembered his own past, let alone mine, though he had an incredible recall for sports statistics. I always felt sad for him imagining that his Mom probably named him Christopher 'cause she was too cracked out to think of a more original name. She had other kids with names like that, like John.

Now, dating girls, there's the part of my past where I dated boys. Apparently this is very frightening to everyone, and will probably cause global warming, which doesn't exist.

Anyhow onto the rest of the questions!!!

autumn asked: Is it weird that I am actually considering investing in autostraddle? In a big way? Like I actually thought about it a few months ago. Thoughts?

It's perfectly natural! Do it.

Imogen asked: Do have have any advice on dealing with straight guys who are turned on by lesbianism? I came out two months ago and the level of attention I get when I'm with my girlfriend (not even making out or any kind of PDA) is really incredible, both from my guy friends and from randomers. I don't really know what to do about it and it's making me really uncomfortable.

I don't know what to do besides act totally uninterested ... it's a problem, I know. With your friends you should call them out, say, why do you think our relationship is for your entertainment, I don't think your relationships are for my entertainment. The first girl I ever really was out with in public acting girlfriend-ish (tho we weren't girlfriends, just dating) was tall & blonde like me -- obvs way hotter than me, too, and when we were out the heckling felt flattering at first b/c I was young and not mean yet, but eventually I came to feel it was aggressive and unwelcome and made me feel rage-y. I don't know if she cared or noticed. It was like that with the next few girls I dated too who were all very girly. It pissed me off, but I didn't know what to do.

My first girlfriend was super masculine, and we rarely got harassed in that way. I've found that to be generally true w/more boyish girls. So my advice would be to get a butch girlfriend.

Ignore them. I used to talk back to strangers, don't do that.

Anonymous asked: What's your favorite gum?

Trident Splash Kiwi-Strawberry.

Cat asked: I wish I'd come to your blog in the early days when only a couple of people commented. I feel like you couldn't have more people commenting and queueing for a shot at befriending you- it's like American Idol auditions in here. Regardless, I think your writing is beautiful and nerve-raw painful, your writing reminds me of 'swimming pool' by freezepop, which tears my heart apart. I hope that you finish your novel, the world needs it.

A: "Swimming Pool" by Freezepop is the song I listen to when I can't write and need help. It gives me lots of feelings. The first time I listened to it on repeat on my headphones while drinking wine I wrote this and I have been trying to recreate that moment every day since.

Thank you. I hope I do too. It's hard to focus now while we're in the start-up period of Autostraddle. I think once things are in order financially and my life is more structured, it will be easy to complete. Every time I look at it I keep writing and writing. But then there's so much else to do!

a? asked: In general, do you think some people are evil or that we just have different views on right and wrong? Do you think a person could act a certain way without justifying it to themselves at some level?

No, I don't, but the methods by which people justify acts to themselves are often unspeakable. I don't think people are inherently evil, I think some people are inherently mentally ill beyond help. But if that makes them act evil, then what do we call that, you know?

Like George W. Bush, he's as close to evil as I've seen in action. But I think he's actually just really stupid, and therefore easily manipulated by people who just want money & power. So I think money & power are evil. I want money & power though, because if it's out there then some good people should get some.

Have you read Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro?

Do you draw/write on your hands/other body parts?
I used to write everything on my hands. I do now sometimes. I used to draw all over myself in pen, and on my shoes too, but mostly on my ankles and my hands and my inner arm and other people's hands. I used to always have something on my hand but then stopped when I had to look more professional than that. Sometimes I will lightly pen 'TP' on my hand to remind myself about picking up toilet paper on the way home.

Anonymous asked: Which is your favorite judy blume novel?
Just as Long As We're Together (was my favorite Judy Blume novel, I imagine in retrospect I might chose otherwise?)

Please do more vlogs. they rock my world slightly.
I used to respond to this question with "i'd love to, but I cannot afford to get to LA where my partner in vlogger lives!" but guess what, my friends listened and they got me a ticket to LA for my birthday. so your wish will come true!

a?: would you rather have ridiculous sized boob and butt implants and plastic stripper style hair extensions and wear a ho outfit for the rest of your life, or be required to give a weekly lapdance to a mystery person from your past every 3 months?

Weekly lapdance for sure. Honey, the things I've done

What are the traits you admire most in other people?
Generosity, Intelligence, humility, social skills, ambition, forgiveness, open-mindedness, confidence.

How long will it be now?
five miles

Aimee asked: What do you think about the whole idea of 'gaydar'?
well, i believe in "open to homosexual experience-dar"

Why do you think that lesbians are so drawn to tattoos and that lots of us get them? Like even super femmey girls?

the super femmey girls get super femmey tattoos tho I find, which's funny.

I think some younger boys can be super judgey and girls sometimes make choices they think boys will like.

I think we're less likely to be still close to parents or a church that would object.

I think we're more likely to affiliate with alternative culture and its markings.

I think we're more prepared to continually be faced by people who dont like what they see, so what's a tattoo?

The Passenger asked:

1. What do you think of the new Tiƫsto featuring Tegan and Sara track "Feel It In My Bones"?
i love everything they do

2. What's your opinion of today's American education system?
it's a disgrace, it's segregation, we should be ashamed of ourselves.
I think we need to respect teachers as a profession more than we do.
it's one of many problems festering in a country where some people think they are just better than other people and deserve more than other people, which is fundamentally false. i have sooooo many opinions on this, i can't even begin! Savage Inequalities, read it!

3. What size shoe do you wear?


Emily said...

So excited about the new vlogs! When are you going to LA? Don’t feel bad about neglecting your blog, people get that autostraddle is a very big undertaking, and I doubt you’ll lose readers if you don’t update as frequently.

I loved ‘Just As Long as We’re Together’ and ‘Here’s to You, Rachel Robinson’. Judy Blume intended to write a 3rd book in that series from Alison’s perspective, but never got round to it. I never liked Alison with her ‘talking dog’, celebrity parents and friendship wrecking ways. I empathised with Rachel, who problem-solved by sawing away on her violin and folding her socks. Otherwise Known as Shelia the Great was very funny too.

Carol said...

"Apparently this is very frightening to everyone, and will probably cause global warming, which doesn't exist."


Quite possibly two of the best things I've ever seen.

damiana said...


my fave judy blume book is summer sisters

love reading your and on autostraddle :D

Bokolis said...

Who answers all your questions?

Along those lines, does this function as some sort of astroturf introspection?

dewey said...

I would like to add that after all this time reading this, I still get excited when i come on here and see a new post :D :D :D

And really i just wanted to comment because i feel its been too long..... way too long!!!

Mercury said...

I wear size 10 too.

I also like it when this blog still exists.