Thursday, July 30, 2009

Haviland Answers Your Questions Too!

hello inquisitors! i will continue to answer all of your questions that you asked me (and are continuing to ask me) here on this blog post here! I think I have like 50 more to go? I tend to make progress the most late at night/while intoxicated. Anyhow in the meantime, Haviland accepted your questions and here they are, with her lovely lovely answers!
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Thank you so much for writing in, baby birds! For more incredible insight and brilliance, (LOL really), you can check my website (we're still working on the news feed and blog, but it should all be up and at 'em soon) and my facebook and twitter.

1.Was the first job you got out of school Fiddler or did you have to go to a bunch of tedious open-calls before you landed that one?
I have worked as an actor since I was 9 years old, and worked through college, as well. But, as far as after graduating, I did a show in Pittsburgh, THE MIKADO, just before starting FIDDLER.

2.Are you primarily interested in doing film and television now or are you still auditioning theatre?
All of the above!

3. Did you get an agent before or after booking Fiddler?
Before

4. Ever thought of doing a masterclass or private coachings when you are visiting in New York? I bet you would have a bunch of crazed girls clamoring to pay you haha.

I do teach, and I love it, wherever there is time and interest.

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FROM maggie:

1) Superficial timewaster of a question that I also asked Riese -- I was wondering if you would tell me what your skincare regimen is? What products do you use w/r/t makeup/hair? do you have any makeup tips etc. Spare no detail, I want your eye-make up application skills and flawless skin!

Thank you! It's all smoke and mirrors. Everyone's skin is different, and requires a different regimen. If you're having trouble with yours, you should see a dermatologist or an endocrinologist, because you may have a condition that causes hormone imbalance. That said, some of the products I use: oil free facewash, MD Formulations products with benzoyl peroxide and glycolic acid, moisturizer (with SPF for daytime). On the west coast, you have to moisturize more because of the dry climate. The humidity on the east coast is lovely for the skin. I never sleep without removing all make-up. Make-up wise, nothing with oil and I really enjoy lip gloss and eye liner, but that's just for fun.

2) How do you deal with the disbelief/doubt of others regarding your sexuality? I'm told I'm very 'straight-looking' and resent people questioning me. I was wondering how you get people to accept you as a lesbian and a girly girl?
I try not to worry about that. When other gays tell me i'm "straight looking," I feel sad for them, because it reflects a homophobic feeling that they have. And if they are straight saying that, I gently educate them to not say things like that. I don't think people mean to be as offensive as they sound when they say that. It takes a lot of energy, though, on your part. You can make a joke about it, as I often do. As we all know now, there are many "types" of gay girls. What does it all mean anyway, you know? I accept myself, and have fun deciding what I want to look like that day. I guess the #1 thing is to respect yourself, and hope that others do the same.

3) Can you tell your coming out story?
It's a long one! But the jist is it was a long time ago, and it all turned out well in the end.

4) Why don't you drink alcohol?
I don't like the way it tastes, makes me feel, or gives licence to others to be dumb, annoying and irresponsible.

5) Do you think it's much harder to have a good social life without drinking alcohol?
Not at all.

6) Do you experience a lot of peer pressure to drink when out?
Not anymore!

5) These questions were asked to Riese but I would love to hear your views on them:

i) Coraline asked: It would be great to live in a world where it was ok to be a girl and eat whatever you like and still get laid, people argue that we should, but in many cases this is just theoretical-- everyone food restricts, no matter what their feminist position is. No-one wants to look like Beth Ditto, refreshing as I find her attitude. How do you think, as women, we can overcome this?

I think you should eat whatever you want, but also take care of yourself and your health. It's incredibly hot to be healthy and treat yourself well. Food restricting and bingeing are both really bad news for the long term care of your body and brain. I suggest encouraging everyone around you to love their bodies, and don't EVER talk negatively about another woman's body. We absolutely must celebrate and support each other. Eat healthy food that is going to make you a better, stronger woman, and without being preachy (too late?), live by example.

ii) Anonymous asked: What are the least destructive ways to improve your mood?

Walk it off, watch a funny movie, call your best friend, play dress up, do something silly and creative.

iii)Anonymous asked: what gets you out of bed in the morning when the world can seem so bad?
Hunger to make it better. And, you know, life.

iv) Should you hang out with people you don't particularly connect with just to kill time and 'have friends' you could point to if asked? :(
I'd much rather hang out with myself than spend time with people I don't like. Howevs, sometimes the people you don't connect with can lead you to people you do, so I guess it's case by case.

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from BREN:
What are the best/worst qualities about both LA and NYC? Do you prefer one to the other?

I love them both!

NYC Best: the pounding, fast, pressure-filled energy and craziness to get everything done...yesterday (all caps.)

Worst: Same.

LA Best: the chill, sunny, pressure-filled energy and craziness to get everything done...whenever you can get everyone to get to it.

Worst: Same.

Having lived in relatively liberal cities like LA and NYC would you ever move back to the South?
It would all depend on work. I live where I live because of the entertainment industry, and that's where my life is.

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from Jordan:

1. what ethnicity are you? (aka-how'd you get so pretty?)
Aw thanks! I "got so pretty" bc you believe I am! I'm Southern, and by that I mean English, German, Norwegian, Czech, and a little French.

2. how old were you when you came out?
It was a process btwn 13-18.

3. if you could collaborate with one musician who would it be?
Probs The Divine Miss M, let's be honest. This is a funny answer for a couple of reasons.

4. ever thought about speaking at colleges?
Yes, and have done so at a few colleges and high schools.

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from Hannah:

Do you feel frustration with closeted celebrities who could fight homophobia through honesty?
Yes, but I think everyone has their own stuff to work through. It keeps getting a little easier, it seems. We have to keep opening doors and welcoming.

Do you think being out yourself has harmed your career?
In some ways, I think the opposite is true, actually!

I just bought a new ipod- can you recommend any good songs?
Comfort by Kristy Hanson
Love to Stay by Altered Images
Off the Wall by MJ
Regulate by Warren G

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from Anonymous:

I feel like so many young women I know, despite expressing feminist sentiments, are really anxious to disassociate themselves from identifying as a ‘feminist’ because they mistakenly equate it with ‘man-hating’ and a reluctance to shave legs. I was wondering what feminism means to you and what you think can be done to change peoples minds?
I agree with you that the label of "feminist" is loaded with unnecessary BS. The definition of "feminism" is "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social and economic equality to men." I think the answer to the inaccurate definition some people have of feminism, as in most things in life, is education. Tell people what "feminism" means. Most people won't disagree with women being equal to men. We don't want special treatment, we want EQUAL treatment. Other women hating on the word doesn't help us, so tell your friends. The label isn't really important, but I think it points to an interesting self-loathing that really depresses me. So, like I've been saying in every response to almost every question I've gotten, gently educate people and live by example.

I loved ‘Your Next Prez’ on youtube! Will we ever get to see any more of VOTE! ?
There is a production of VOTE! that is rehearsing in The New York Fringe Festival as we speak. I'm in LA, so am obvs not involved as Muffin, but I have become a Producer on the project. If you're in New York, you should go see it. Also, sidenote, you should go see "The Green Manifesto," at the Fringe.
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from anonymous:

Will there be any more episodes of 'Flirt'?
None planned as of now.

What projects are you currently involved in?
I'm developing a few things, reading lots of scripts, consulting, just got the new website up, auditioning, etc etc.

What are your favourite books and films?
I'm reading AM Homes "In a Country of Mothers." Riese tells me to read more books. Films: LOTS! When Harry Met Sally, Big Business, Gone with the Wind, Drop Dead Gorgeous...

What advice would you give to the 17 year old Haviland?
Stop worrying so much!

What time do you get up in the morning?
WAY too early.

You are in amazing shape. If it's not too personal, I was wondering how you eat to maintain your weight and what your workout plan is like?
I try to take care of my brain. When you read my memoir one day, you'll know the full answer to this (ha) but I can tell you I try and eat to stay healthy, and I do cardio, yoga and light weights.

What was the last text you sent/received?
Sent: do you need anything?
Received: no thank you!

Which movie stars do you have crushes on?
I don't!

What are some of your favourite things!
Performing, validation, the beach, bicycles and rollerskates, and the feeling of bliss.
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from anonymous:

how hard in your opinion is it to 'make it' in LA?
It depends on what your definition of "making it" is.
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from Kate:

Do you think Lindsay Lohan will manage to make a comeback?

Yes!

Monday, July 27, 2009

I Want Directions, Helpful HInts and Also. Also. Also I have a Tumblr now.

What should I write a blog post about? Write a comment and ask me a question. Then I will answer your questions in 'another blog post.' I realize by 'asking you to ask me questions' I am acting like 'someone who thinks they are important' or 'someone who has 'answers.'' I'm not, I'm just 'someone who isn't sure about stuff' but 'doesn't want to feel bad for' 'never blogging.'

Hopefully someone will ask me "what is symbolic annihilation?" which I love to talk about. "What shampoo do you use?" Maybe it will be silence, like in the song by Simon & Garfunkel, which will be affirming. I want to write something that people will want to read. Maybe no-one wants to read anything anymore! For example this paragraph - not particularly entertaining.

Also guess what, I have a tumblr now!! It's sort of silly but it's nice for me to say and post little things I see and like and think and that stuff.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Relief Next to Me or "Sorry I’m just revisiting this now."

I am not sure if all of these sentences have periods at the end of them or if the words are correct but maybe an intern could copyedit it for me jk no but srsly.

I just had a really incredible weekend. And I was excited for it. I'm still excited & charmed by the web of cyber-intern-love we've woven. The context was ideal because the point -- really, truly the point -- of autowin -- was to get to autostraddle. I couldn't -- can't -- keep on like I was on here forever.

I should tell you that the point of my life was to get to the writing, the point of the writing was never to get to my life.

But the point of the work -- the knowledge, the community, the material itself, and the conversations -- the point of the work was to get to the magazine. And here it is.

See back then it was exactly like being naked. Perhaps you also felt naked but really at best you were like a censored movie on teevee -- all blur and suggestion and hope -- you were just the idea of nakedness and I was open and cold like a pitted grapefruit.

When we were 15 my friend Andrew wrote a poem about heartbreak and it opened like this and employed alternative lifestyle formatting: You have dug me out / with grapefruit spoons / and I am left as only the shell of me, / like a rotten peanut / salty and compromised.

You knew things about me and then there we'd be at a party or a restaurant, like the worst places on earth to talk to anyone about anything real, like we were people from the middle ages transported into Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. And on top of that, we were generally people all too aware of that particular obstacle but somehow braving it just the same.

And I felt like you wouldn't like me if you met me.
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See there's two memememees: let's say one of them is Riese and the other is autowin. Autowin is the writer part. It's weird to give that part the name "autowin" because autowin is a new/knew name and the writer-part of me is the oldest part of me. But whatever. I'm writing this so I make the rules.

Autowin is scared a lot and doesn't want anyone else around. She writes this blog but doesn't talk to people. She's somewhat incapable of interacting with normal society because she finds strip malls fundamentally ridiculous and organized professional sports somewhat baffling and nuclear families hopelessly boring and outdoor barbecues where straight people hold drinks close to their waists and talk about rooms or decorations they're planning to add on to their house to be sort of embarrassing and sad even though everyone at the barbecue is smiling and happy and full of confident, flowy energy.

She is openly convinced that everyone she knows may undergo a metamorphosis and become Old Navy overnight, and so she does not depend on them to ever join her revolution, which is a disorganized revolution anyhow and often drunk.

She has trouble with phone calls and friendship and employers. She likes to smoke just about anything and doesn't think anyone gets her and there's very little anyone could do to prove otherwise but if you can convince her that you do get her, she sometimes falls straight lickity-split in fucking love with you.

Her sexuality is not incredibly relevant, it's just another kind of nakedness or aggression, depending.

There's been a handful of people who knew the "autowin" personality as she exists in normal everyday life. None of them are people I see or speak to regularly right now. I don't know if that's good or bad, it just ... is.

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So I'm used to being separate from the writer person, it's what I've always done. Well ... I think when you're talking about your feelings and I'm talking to you about your feelings, or about my life, maybe there are flashes of autowin there. But generally she is not a person who talks to people, she is a person dependent on privacy or total understanding, which comes with time, because autowin is scared!

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And even though this weekend I knew I'd be hanging out with people who knew autowin's writing (including some people who primarily knew me through autowin), it was in this other context of Autostraddle -- and THE TEAM!, who you should defo like more than me because they are cooler -- which made me feel safe, and happy, and like everything had come together perfectly ... like I wouldn't be a total weirdo ... like either I'm totally a weirdo who scares people like I scared people when I was younger because I was intense and they had Barbies, or I'm a normal social person which secretly I am totally fine at too.

... not nervous at all, but excited. And in the weeks leading up to it I was wondering why I felt so excited whereas when I knew I'd be meeting people via autowin in the past, I would feel mostly awkward and scared, but ever since Autostraddle started I've loved meeting people. Like I want to talk to people about the future! Maybe because I have one and I am not constantly attempting to obliterate myself or die or tell a really funny joke or something.

Maybe because Autostraddle has a greater purpose, and because it is a business, and so there's something solid to hold on to as human beings. A starting point. We don't have to begin with the meaning of life.

And there was a purpose, and there was a team, and that's one of the reasons why this weekend managed to combine all the things I love about people who love autowin with all the things I love about people and FUN FUN FUN in general.

'Cause sometimes you don't have to talk face to face about how you GET IT to have fun, but you can have fun face-to-face because you GET IT.




So anyhow. It was so beautiful! I have never felt such overwhelming positivity about a group of people before in my life. Seriously it was almost transcendent and in a strange way totally incomparable to any feeling I've ever felt before.

So thank you intern army who came to NYC this weekend and risked getting gay grounded and slept on couches or on top of each other and who fliered madly and walked in the sunshine and said lovely things, thank you alexandra, ashley, daphne, elizabeth, emily, heidi, jessica, katrina, laura, lola, nicole and tirna and to the team for an awesome weekend.

I mean I spent like 50% of the weekend feeling totally sick in one physical way or another and still think it was one of the best weekends of my life, so that says a lot for the power of X's secret stash everyone!

I am proud of everyone, happy to work with these people and be associated with them; alex, brooke, carly, robin, nata, stef -- and also laneia, crystal and tess even though they couldn't be there physically.

I want Autostraddle to be really successful so we can afford to have another party that's longer where we can play Truth or Dare like I suggested ten THOUSAND BAJILLION TIMES as well as strip poker, but what no one knew is I wasn't talking about your clothes, I was talking about your feelings! JK, I'm not a lesbian, I'm a bisexual like T2 (that's my bro-name for Tila Tequila), so all I want in life is for everyone to make out on television with microphones on their butts. I was talking about your clothes! Where was I. Waiting for the parade. Yes!

this photo is called "interns" and it's by robin roemer, obvs

Once we had this idea to take the interns upstate to Alex's cabin and blindfold them and leave them in the woods and whomever came out alive got to transcribe an interview with charlene from "gimme sugar."

Right about that anyhow: I felt safe and not scared or heavy and open and cold like a pitted pit. Like it wasn't just about me and my secrets. It was about all these people together. It was about all the things we actually don't need to lie about when we're around the right people, which are also beautiful things. So I wasn't even nervous like I was to meet people I'd met before via autowin, but excited and already totally comfortable. Which is a good place to start from, especially if one will ever get to autowin.

What I mean is that doesn't mean that like everything is on the table, but everything is DANCING on the table. Make out and wait for the next joke etc. And I had these other people -- which is a technique I've entertained since the start (here, look at my BFF, she's pretty!!! read my words, but dream of her!), only now it has a very concrete form & structure & purpose.

We had a party! We marched in a parade! It was a ridiculously short period of time doing weird things!

I have some things I should say to you, some disappointing things: I don't always remember exactly. I want to have the time to remember, or the capacity to remember. I do get a lot of emails -- not THAT many -- but like, a good 3 or 4 a week, and they are always really full of feelings. I have a hard time responding because I have a hard time feeling important. I don't have a vocabulary for it. I don't want to let you down. I love the emails and I wonder if just saying "thank you" is enough. Like this paragraph already feels weird so

and it's hard to say "your emails make me feel better about my existence" ... and then I feel I cheat you if I don't address, you know, your existence ... or mention that like ... my existence was compromised by this blog in SO MANY WAYS that i didn't/can't talk about. It hasn't been easy. Mostly though i can't talk about it 'cause I can't diminish the positive things it brought! Such things!!! ... and where we are ... and I've tried to fucking structure this goddamn post and I can't. Oh well. Maybe TInkerbell will comment! !!!!! this isa blogtherearenorules look ican write whatever i want POTATO!

Also, it's hard to feel important when everyone around you thinks you should give it up and make some fucking money for once. Money matters, it matters all the time. I want it! 'Cause it's fun and you can give it to other people when they need it too. But I'd rather die than temp 9 hours a day 5 days a week for a paycheck that just barely covers my basic living expenses because if I have no time to write or create things than I might as well be dead. You know? I'm convinced by something greater than all of this that we'll find a way.

Anyhow, those are my feelings. The whole truth is like the story of a wave unfurled, ET-effin'-CETERA.